DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2023

03

Jan

January Jones Lace Cleavage of the Day

As someone who didn’t watch Mad Men, I don’t give a fuck about January Jones. You know how this celebrity witch craft works, they play a character in a show that you’re into because your actual life sucks, so you think sitting on the couch and watching a bunch of overpaid assholes play pretend for you as a mechanism to tell you stories, that has a bit more production value than a podcast, but is usually just as fucking mindless and boring, but it’s way easier than actually reading because imagining characters is hard on the brain.

So yeah, they lure you in with their tits on the show you like and you are forever engaged by their behavior and what they are up to, like they jerking off to them decades later is some sort of pat on their back or message to the universe that may land you up inside them one day, even though the chances of that are few and unlikely….but you’re allowed to dream of impossible situations instead of dreaming of realistic things that can improve your life immediately.

ANYWAY, all I see is an old single mom, using her tits on her skinny enough frame for some attention as her neck melts away and her face is run through apps and filters giving it an almost gently erased look, it’s the internet, why have HD wrinkles in this vapid and empty world.

I also see the tits, in lace, which is what this is about, so some tits in lace on a pretty uninspiring Hollywood cum dumpster….

Posted in:January Jones

2023

03

Jan

Things to Wear to the Beach Tuesday of the Day

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Not all of us have the luxury of hopping down to the beach like a homeless crackhead living in florida, exposed to all that hot weather half nakedness on the daily, a great place to be homeless, until some zombie eats your face off under the bridge.

Not all of us are fortunate enough to be able to afford some tropical beach vacation, even the ghetto ones where the hotel rooms give you aids, and even if we were able to afford that bootleg shit, the bodies in swimwear around us would be our fat wives and not some hot chicks wanting to show off their bikinis, those ladies hang out in places the likes of us can’t afford.

Some of us live our own prison life in the walls of a mould filled apartment and the only bikini action we get because we live in a frozen tundra is at the public pool, which is predominately occupied by old ladies in what we hope are water proof diapers cuz they aren’t the kind of bodies I want to be producing the piss I am soaking in….

So we turn to the internet and do this random ass round up of random ass girls in some form of swimwear or another. It brings us hope or inspires us or some shit cuz girls half naked in swimwear is timeless classic hotness.

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Posted in:swimsuit

2023

03

Jan

Tight Pant Tuesday of the Day

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When I celebrate Tight Pants, which is actually on a daily basis, at least on the days I leave the house and enter the public domain, because bitches they wear tight pants and tight pants look fucking good.

I realize that the tight pants are probably doing some slight of hand style tricks that are misleading, but as far as I’m concerned that’s about as close to naked as we can get, even if she’s actually being held together but he equivalent of PANTS MADE OF DUCT TAPE…I’m not ever seeing them naked, so I’ll take the modified illusion of what they look like naked, their ass roundness, their pussy puff, all while picking up a bunch of bananas in the produce aisle….or while pretending to walk my dog as they bend over to pick up the dog shit….you know, tight pants are versatile and fucking everywhere…

Unfortunately, they are really everywhere, because I am also seeing a lot of dudes rocking the tight pants and they aren’t even GOTH, Gay or Trans…I’m talking fitness dudes who do fitness things and feel that they are best executed in a pair of leggings marketed as compression pants to ensure ultimate fitness..

I used to take issue with dudes in bike shorts, walking around like it’s tour de france, with their bellies out….thinking their fat ass is not benefitting from the spandex so why do they want to put us innocent bystanders through the shit….

NOW, I get the same feeling when other dudes move through life in their leggings and no, it’s not because I get turned on or accidentally check them out thinking their ass belongs to a chick and it makes me question my sexuality….it’s just that men in leggings is twisted, inappropriate and definitely in need of being shamed or outlawed….

So here are some Ladies in tight pants the way the legging was meant to be worn before men tried to jump in the trend and make it about them, those MISOGYNISTS never letting women have their time to shine, just eagerly trying to show off their dick prints like they are pussy prints…..perverse.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP WHEN YOU CLICK SEE MORE YOU DUMB FUCKS!
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Posted in:Tight Pants

2023

03

Jan

Boot Show and Other Youtube Shorties of the Day

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Shirt Removal

Big Girl Pool Exit

Hot Horse Girl Dismounts

Titty Dancers

Flexing

Dance Dance

Pelvic Floor Routine

Posted in:TIKTHOT|Videos

2023

02

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

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Happy fucking New Year….

You may not bother with resolutions, but I like to think they are inspiring, especially when you think of the most offensive resolutions possible, that you can present to your family so they don’t think you’re a loser…like inserting larger objects in your ass, or finally becoming a woman so you can jerk off to yourself by cutting off your dick in your basement and gluing your fleshlight to the scar tissue….or maybe you’re more simple than that and just want love, happiness, health, wealth, a new job, a job, a blow job….you get what I am saying here….

Resolutions are hopeful, exciting, give you and your ambitions some meaning, a benchmark, maybe something to work towards….otherwise you just coast through life without any real goals or attempts to do better…just same old take it as it comes and that’s not self improvement or maximizing your human experience in that period between birth and death….

Unless you’re the kind of person who can set those other days of the year and who don’t need a bullshit oppresive calendar system to control you…

Either way, new year, same old links….

Here are some stepLINKS!

Gyneth Paltrow and Daughter Bikini on a Boat
LICK HERE!!!!

Did College QB’s Dad Grope his Girlfriend?
LICK HERE!!!!

Jordyn Jones Plays Around in Hot Tub
LICK HERE!!!!

10 Most Ridiculous Hate Crime Hoaxes from Colleges
LICK HERE!!!!

Twerking on a Cop for an Arrest
LICK HERE!!!!

Caylee Cowan See Through
hLICK HERE!!!!

Bella Thorne Topless Dance
LICK HERE!!!!

Miley Cyrus’ New Year Bikini Surprise
LICK HERE!!!!

Paige Spiranac Brings the Short Game Tutorial
LICK HERE!!!!

Emily Ratajkowski’s Giving Herself a Wedgie in her Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Woman Feeding the Decoys
LICK HERE!!!!

Jeremy Renner Ran Over his Own Leg with his Snowcat
LICK HERE!!!!

Heidi Klum in Hot Tub on New Years
LICK HERE!!!!

Hot Surfer Babe Tia Blanco is Pregnant With Brody Jenner
LICK HERE!!!!

Beverly Hills New Years Eve Vandal
LICK HERE!!!!

Fentanyl Gets Rapper Gansta Boo
LICK HERE!!!!

Cat Destroys Ceiling and Walks it Off
LICK HERE!!!!

Rita Ora’s Bikini Time
LICK HERE!!!!

Fan’s Viral Lamar Jackson T-Shirt
LICK HERE!!!!

Customer Tries to Escape without Paying
LICK HERE!!!!

Beaver Builds Dam in House
LICK HERE!!!!

Weird Mashup of 2022 Movie Trailers
LICK HERE!!!!

Dua Lipa’s New Years Eve Thong
LICK HERE!!!!

This Dart League has Dancers
LICK HERE!!!!

Man Runs in Every Kind of Footwear
LICK HERE!!!!

Historical Facts About Chocolate
LICK HERE!!!!

Bird Impersonates R2D2
LICK HERE!!!!

Alessandra Ambrosio’s Bikini on New Years
LICK HERE!!!!

NFL Player’s Girlfriend is a Professional
LICK HERE!!!!

Ashley Roberts Shows Off her Bikini Body
LICK HERE!!!!

Deaf Cat Enjoys Bike Ride around London
LICK HERE!!!!

Freezing Soap Bubbles is Cool
LICK HERE!!!!

Biggest Grossing Movies from 1976 to 2022
LICK HERE!!!!

Kate Hudson Does a Bikini Snow Angel
LICK HERE!!!!

Demi Rose Red Hot for New Years
LICK HERE!!!!

Man Wards Off Somali Pirates
LICK HERE!!!!

Ice Artist Makes a Cuckatoo
LICK HERE!!!!

Baby Monkey Makes Friend with a Dog
LICK HERE!!!!

Sara Sampaio Bikinis in Hawaii
LICK HERE!!!!

Chantle Jeffries Bikini Bod
LICK HERE!!!!

Kliff Kingsbury’s Girlfriend Veronica Bielik is a Great Distraction!
LICK HERE!!!!

Raccoon Tries Catching Snowflakes
LICK HERE!!!!

Nostalgic Animation about Life in Brooklyn
LICK HERE!!!!

Audi Drives on Snow
LICK HERE!!!!

Selena Gomez is in a throuple with Nicola Peltz
LICK HERE!!!!

Creepy Promo for the M3GAN Movie at the Chargers Game
LICK HERE!!!!

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Where the WHALE’s AT…..MAKE ME RICH OFF THE BACK OF THESE CAM GIRLS
LICK HERE!!!!

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From the Forum

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Bikini
LICK HERE!!!!

Taylor Hill in Underwear
LICK HERE!!!!

Jessica Parker Kennedy Bra Top – Not Sarah Jessica Parker
LICK HERE!!!!

Ashley Greene in Leggings
LICK HERE!!!!

Camila Mendes Fit Body in Bikini on Beach
LICK HERE!!!!

Kostek and Gronk are in St Barts
LICK HERE!!!!

Emma Stone in NYC
LICK HERE!!!!

Emma Brooks in a Black Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

Maisie Williams has a Smoke
LICK HERE!!!!

Kiernan Shipka in a Slutty Dress
LICK HERE!!!!

Rita Ora Titties at an Event
LICK HERE!!!!

Lily Rose Depp in a Beauty Salon
LICK HERE!!!!

Hailey Bieber Legs
LICK HERE!!!!

===============
From stepSMUT!!

(LINKS BELOW ARE NSFW!)
===============

Girl Night In
LICK HERE!!!!

Peer Pressure Always Wins
LICK HERE!!!!

Mental Mondays
LICK HERE!!!!

Actual Fucking Hooters
LICK HERE!!!!

Pushing the Dildo In
LICK HERE!!!!

That was unexpected
LICK HERE!!!!

Blonde Got Hot Tits
LICK HERE!!!!

Girl on Girl
LICK HERE!!!!

Baby Got Back
LICK HERE!!!!

Big Titties Flashed
LICK HERE!!!!

Outdoor Dildo Ride
LICK HERE!!!!

26 Shitty Days
LICK HERE!!!!

Beach Girls Have Fun
LICK HERE!!!!

Arms Up Boob Flasher
LICK HERE!!!!

Nika in the Shower
LICK HERE!!!!

Outdoor Dildo Ride
LICK HERE!!!!

Boat Owner Fucks
LICK HERE!!!!

Panties to the Side Orgasm
LICK HERE!!!!

Wand Time Orgasm
LICK HERE!!!!

Butt Plug in for the Show
LICK HERE!!!!

Dick Sucker
LICK HERE!!!!

Tits Out Dildo FUck
LICK HERE!!!!

Mom and her Exchange Student
LICK HERE!!!!

Panties to the Side Dildo In Ass
LICK HERE!!!!

Cheerleader Sex Tape
LICK HERE!!!!

Toy in ASs 2023
LICK HERE!!!!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

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Posted in:stepLINKS

2023

02

Jan

Maya Hawke Tits of the Day

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I saw some paparazzi pics of Maya Hawke in a white swimsuit in St Barts being a famous in her own right thanks to hit shows she’s been cast on, but probably would’ve been in St Barts regardless of her IMDB credits or her own personal savings account balance because her parents are Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke…

Anyway, when I saw the pics, she looked a little dumpy and I thought, typical rich kid who has a career from nepotism just rubbing it in everyone’s face by not being fit.

I don’t care about nepotism, I embrace it and feel like generational wealth, inside advantage is all part of the fun of life….and if you don’t have that access, those connections, that trust fund, like most of us don’t…you can find other ways to distract yourself like through chronic masturbation targeted at those who do.

But I do care about fat chicks normalizing being fat and skinny chicks can be just as soft and sloppy as a fat chick. We call the SLIM FATS…like the drink, but different.

Anyway, along with negatively analyzing some strangers body I said “that white swim suit should be more sheer”…seeing as so many white swimsuits have gifted a voyeur like me some pussy lip and nipple flashes through the fabric….but the published pics weren’t as fun as I’d like.

Luckily, Maya Hawke is an exhibitionist hipster type who doesn’t give a fuck about pulling the titties out of the near sheer swimsuit for the paparazzi, cuz tits are good for marketing, and for chronically jerking off to nepotism hires….so it’s a win across the board.

A new year miracle one would say….if their resolution of self improvement invloves jerking off to nepotism hires in the hollywood realm since this one’s basically from Hollywood Royalty….

TITTIES!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:maya hawke

2023

02

Jan

Medical Worker Monday of the Day

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As far as I’m concerned the whole medical crisis of 2020 no longer exists, we’re past that, let’s focus on more positive, uplifting, exciting, inspiring, perverted, erotic, fun, mainly fun things…

Sure there are still a handful of assholes in masks, pushing shots, praising shots even if they die of the shots because they feel it was a virtuous thing to do…there are still people dying suddenly or getting weird surprise cancers that take them the fuck out or at least take them deep enough into suffering that they get government assisted death…a fucking weird new trend that they’ve romanticized.

Sure, there’s still some PTSD, although PTSD is pretty fucking pussy way to describe anything that happens in your life unless you’re a veteran, because if your trauma was being locked out of society for not getting a shot and being forced to stay in until a group of truckers decided to change the course of history, it’s pretty decent PTSD…even if it keeps you looking over your shoulder thinking something else is planned for your kind…

So a mass percentage of society fell for a marketing campaign and turned on those who didn’t and may now die because of it….just earlier today someone sent me a Wall Street Journal article saying those with the shot are 3.5 more likely than those without to get covid and anyone with the shot has likely had terrible bouts with the virus while those without the shot didn’t get sick…the control group they wanted to eliminate lives…

Anyway, 2023, we gotta put all that behind us, but never forget that the medical workers who loved the attention were all part of the propaganda, lying or inflating the crisis when they knew better, putting potentially poison in the arms of millions who trusted them, because they were told to, and they acted like authorities on an experiment because it got them attention and we’re the ones who are suffering because of it.

So with that, never trust anyone but your gut, and only support the medical workers looking for attention through online erotica….it’s a better cause, a less annoying way to get attention, one you can jerk off to and one that doesn’t need to disrupt our mindless lives and expose all the layers of corruption….that WE all fund through taxes….far better to fund naughty nurses through your credit cards….and here’s the proof.

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Posted in:NURSES

2023

02

Jan

Madelaine Petsch Braless of the Day

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Fire in the hole.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Madelaine Petsch

2023

02

Jan

Milf Monday of the Day

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New Year, Old Sex Fetishes…

I am not necessarily one who is into moms and all their baggage….their well travelled bodies that have seen too action over the years…mainly from child birth ripping them open at least once….but the whole concept of MILF is that it’s a mom you’d like to fuck despite being a mom….

So the MILF fetish is one that lives on in 2023 and not just for weirdos who have mommy issues and are seeking a mom replacement they can fuck without feeling guilty cuz their actual mom is getting on in age and fucking her is looked down upon by the oppressive society we live in.

The MILF fetish is for everyone, because hot moms that may have been ravaged by child birth do exsist…and it’s not reserved for angry, bitter, jaded but horny divorcee, or single moms looking to scratch some itch and feel some sense of normalcy by acting like a common whore for a dude like you..because she has no time for standards and is too busy mad at her life choices to have standards….but being the cheap thrill to someone who is too busy and who needs to run home to the babysitter isn’t a bad thing either….

SO here are some moms, some MILFS, some older ladies who HAVE been cummed in and carry the burden of proof, being sex positive because being a mom doesn’t mean you can’t be a naked on the internet….even if it probably should because they should spend all their energy on MOM shit instead of frozen dinners and ipads but that’s another story for another day…today we celebrate!

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Posted in:Milf

2023

02

Jan

Cara Delevingne See Through of the Day

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I don’t find Cara Delevingne all that hot, or hot at all, but she’s an over hyped rich kid who made it as a model thanks to being in the scene, or being the pussy the more important people used to dabble in while trying to change their sexuality to LGBTQ in order to keep getting hired, since there’s no room for straight bitches anymore.

But she is pretty skinny, albeit a little crackhead in her behavior, but we’re just looking at pics of her and you can’t expect a skinny bitch to be all that sane, it’s part of the brain damage that comes with starving themselves, if anything, if a skinny bitch isn’t acting weird from low blood sugar than she’s not committed to the cause enough.

Anyway, she’s in some black mesh thing, showing some panties, looking a fool and we’ll pretend it’s for some New Year sex ritual at the Satanist party in some Manor House in the UK where she is from. You know where the elites have orgies and sacrifice goats for good luck.

Exciting.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Cara Delevigne|Cara Delevingne|Cara Delvingne