DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

16

Sep

Kris Jenner is Showcases the Flaw in Social Media of the Day

The flaw in social media is that a devil hooker who sells her kids off for her own personal gold digging fame….can post half naked bikini pics of herself…even if it is something no one really wants to see because she is the vagina that shat out some of the worst fucking humans to grace the earth…even if their pay check tells a different story…

Now that’s not to say she looks bad for a 100 year old…I mean it’s just to say that I would totally K-Fed her if that damn menopause wasn’t standing int he way….

Remember…this is either photoshopped or proof that she’s a demon sent from hell trying to win us over…

Stop masturbating to this…seriously…it’s weird….

Posted in:Kris Jenner

2013

16

Sep

Ireland Baldwin Twerk of the Day

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Ireland Baldwin is my best internet friend even though she ignores me..because she produces creative and artistic masterpieces of her twerking up against a statue like she’s in some kind of rap video, or Miley Cyrus, or pretty much any girl between the ages of 14 and 35 who know what twerking is…it’s gone mainstream…

Even I have a twerk video on worldstar hip hop…

And it’s hot…and Ireland knows it…that’s why she’s doing it…cuz fame is based on how many followers you have yo’…it’s a new generation…fuck being on TV and internet…let people obsess over your life…something I am into doing…at least when it is like this…cuz I think it is glorious…and I’m ready to be invited to her 18th birthday party…

Her caption was I hate when this happens”, which makes it all so much better…this Ireland girl is good..she’s got it figured out.

Posted in:Ireland Baldwin

2013

16

Sep

Izabel Goulart Boxing is the Hottest Shit Ever of the Day

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What a fucking babe…Izabel Goulart is probably best known for being a Brazilian Victoria’s Secret model who either got fired or escaped from Victoria’s Secret, even though I didn’t think they really let any of their immigrant models escape…kinda like a communist regime, only the half naked version, mainly because I thought they abducted these girls from their mother countries, killed off their families and Castro’ed them in the most Glamorous way, by holding them captive…only letting them out to model underwear…that or they were fucking robots because girls generally don’t look like this…

While since that Victoria’s Secret stint, she’s gone onto be the fittest body on instagram, and I love watching her updates, because she’s hot as fuck, especially when kick boxing…

I’m into this.

Posted in:Izabel Goulart

2013

16

Sep

Kendall Jenner Bikini Models of the Day

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Turns out that Kendall Jenner isn’t quite built like a Kardashian, she’s longer and leaner, and more athletic at 17…but ultimately, she’s 17 and most girls are tighter at 17, but more importantly, she’s still a fucking Kardashian, and would be celebrated the day their house burnt down and no one escaped alive, just because of the association she has to the family, and her ability to spread on the DNA of their whore, fame obsessed mother…

She has this idea that she’s going to be a bikini model, or a Victoria’s Secret model, and she’s out there hustling hard, working for shitty low level companies, but her face, reminds me of the ugly Kardashian, meaning this shit is just spoiled brat dreams, like when a rich kid with a guitar’s dad record an album for him…only the half naked, she’s 17, you won’t mind staring, while her mom won’t mind any fucking buzz she gets version.

Posted in:Kendall Jenner

2013

16

Sep

Miley Cyrus by Terry Richardson for Harper’s Bazaar of the Day

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I listen to is Miley Cyrus music….but that’s only because everyone I meet hates on her for her new hustle…they think what she’s doing to hip hop is almost as bad as her shitty white girl ass twerking…but I see the big fucking picture… her impact on the youth, her Hannah Montana fans…showing them that it’s ok to pop pills, not wear bras, and shake their asses to rap music…is something that they need to learn, at least for the same of my personal entertainment, so who better than some Disney Harlot to be that voice…at least as far as I’m concerned because I am a pervert…and the more twerking there is…the better…our lives are…and that’s a fact…

She’s in Harper’s Bazaar, doing the press hustle, shot by Terry Richardson, her favorite creeper who got her naked in her music video, these are just a preview of what’s to come, it’s safe to say, things will get a little more racy and I am into that…because Miley is willing…and a willing Miley makes for a Miley worth paying attention to, because without this, she’s just some spoiled brat, coddled, money making piece of shit.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2013

16

Sep

Kelly Brook’s Bikini at 16 for Instagram of the Day

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Kelly Brook posted the above picture to her instagram saying something along the lines of “My first shoot at 16″….to either prove to the haters that she’s got tits…or to cater to the pervert creeper fans..by given them something semi-illegal to jerk off to…or to let us all know she’s been a half naked, using her body to get ahead since she was a kid….you know when other kids were getting an education, her and her parents, if she even has parents, cuz I am going to assume by the bikini modelling at 16, she didn’t….were whoring her out…I mean usually girls only learn how to whore in their early 20s when all else fails…but this Kelly Brook has a solid 3 decades invested in this…

Posted in:Kelly Brook

2013

16

Sep

Kelly Rowland for Shape Magazine of the Day

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While Beyonce was getting ripped off stage by some crazed fan who was trying to bring her home to meet his mom, or maybe his gay friends who couldn’t make it to the concert, but who he wanted to bring the concert to, because the gay who brings Beyonce to the party, is that Gay who is probably walking away HIV Positive thanks to all the unprotected appreciation…they’re given…

Kelly Rowaland was in Shape Magazine, showing the world that when you buy yourself tits, and do sit-ups, you can come across as a lean bitch, who doesn’t look all that much like a dude….because of the cleavage…

Shape is notorious for photoshopping the shit out of everything, so it’s safe to say, the shit has been photoshopped out of this…and no, that wasn’t a racist joke…because unlike you redneck trash, I like black girls, they are so exotic and remind me of masturbation in the 80s…thanks to National Geographic…we’ve gone over this before, stop making me repeat myself.

Posted in:Kelly Rowland

2013

16

Sep

Jessie J in a Bikini of the Day

1 Comment »

I don’t know if anyone cares about Jessie J, a UK popstar who may be popular here, but I can’t be too sure, because I avoid pop music as hard as I can, not because I am some obscure hipster who only likes the sounds of pots and pans being beat against pavement rhythmically, but because I am convinced these corporate run puppets are trying to brain wash me through the radio and that shit scares me…I mean I know lyrics to Lady Gaga songs, and I don’t even know lyrics to songs I like, and more importantly, I have never put on a Lady Gaga song…proving to me that this illuminati music shit is real fucking life…

What I do know is that Jessie J used to rock the leotard on stage, and now she’s rocking a bikini in some twitter pics I can’t jerk off to, because she’s not naked, but I’ll post anyway, because you probably can…

Posted in:Jessie J

2013

16

Sep

Guy on Drugs of the Day

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Thanks to drugs, the world is a more interesting place.

The other night some dude was kicking random store windows screaming that he wanted to kill everyone….before the cops jumped him and shoved his face into the ground….

Earlier today, some hipster kid was walking down the street and dropped his pants and took a shit in the middle of the street…

Then there is this guy, who is seemingly pretty fucking normal, freaking the fuck out, because he took a molly, but the problem with Molly is that it is never Molly, but rather fucking meth and other garbage thrown together for idiots to rave on…

Real Molly…doesn’t do any of this shit to anyone, which is too bad because it would make all those EDM parties a little more tolerable…

It’s just never ending good times…and the commentator needs his own TV show. “He’s got to drink some milk”…what?

Posted in:Videos|Zuzanna Stankiewicz

2013

16

Sep

Anastasia Ashley Rockin’ her stepSHIRT of the Day

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Anastasia Ashley may not be your conventional babe. She’s athletic not anorexic. She’s got real tits not implants, and the only eating shit that we know of is on the wave when she’s surfing professionally, and not in the bathroom of some Beverly Hills Mansion for some rich dude who is paying for her, like all these other hookers I talk about.

She is perfection, maybe even a dream girl sent from heaven to win my heart…like a trip to Disneyworld brings joy to a kid dying of cancer….she is the make a wish foundation for my cold dead heart…and I am not just saying that because she’s wearing a Drunkenstefather stepSHIRT …I am saying that because it is true.

She’s goin’ places, unfortunately none of those places are into my anal sex dungeon in may basement, where I’d feed her twice a day in the cage she’s held captive in, if you know what I mean, because you can’t spell true love or real passion without forced imprisonment…I am just a romantic like that…cages in basements are no different than actual marriage…other than less cheating on each other with the neighbors…because there are no neighbors in cages in the basement…and sometimes cages in basements are the only way to get your point across and or anal sex….

I don’t know what I’m saying, but I do know I would love to get this girl pregnant…and never leave her side…even if this is as good as it gets…her wearing one of my shirts…never to be heard from again…at least we’ve had this moment…which is okay cuz I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life…

I’ve peaked.

Get your own stepSHIRT to slaughter at Drunkensweatshop.com

Posted in:Anastasia Ashley|drunkensweatshop|stepEXCLUSIVE|stepSHIRTS