DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2013

09

Apr

Emily Osment’s Artistic Bikini Pic of the Day

Emily Osment, who we all know from her role in The Sixth Sense, when she used to be a pre-pubescent boy, before being ruined by puberty and forced to use his child star, Oscar nominee money, on getting the chop. A chop that allowed him to become this girl who is always in her bikini, because he knows what the people want, and he knows if he’s spent all this time and money on the sex change he might as well show off his assets, because ultimately, he was a boy once, and he knows that boys like sluts.

Not that posting a bikini pic makes you a slut, having a vagina does.

Posted in:Emily Osment

2013

09

Apr

Ashely Tisdale Does Maxim of the Day

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Ashley Tisdale has finally done Maxim and not with her face in a paper bag as you’d expect. She’s fucking rockin’ out in a bikini, almost topless, saying Fuck you Springbreakers, my shitty movie that’s coming out is better than your shitty movie coming out, and I don’t look fat in a bikini, and despite my face being a little mangled, I don’t look like a chipmunk, and despite Maxim sucking and practically dying, landing all the d-listers, I’m still gonna bring it…..and as much as I make fun of her face, I think she’s lookin pretty ok….keep up the good half naked, second rate, work..

[pics removed by maxim]

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale

2013

09

Apr

LOLZ of the Day

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What does Britney Spears think of the Passing of Annette Funicello…She thinks it’s great!!

LOLZ!! Thanks for all the meds dad. Thanks for raping my soul society. I’m into it.

Posted in:Britney Spears

2013

09

Apr

Katie Cassidy for Some Canadian Magazine of the Day

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Katie Cassidy is David Cassidy’s daughter, who at 26, looks like she’s in her 30s, because growing up in the Partridge Family, just fucking rapes your fucking soul, especially when all your friends have parents who are actually respectable actors in Hollywood. It’s the shit playground bullying is made of “You’re dad was in the Partridge Family, loser, my dad is Jack Nicholson”….kinda bullying that only happens in Hollywood.

I like that she’s getting naked despite not needing to get naked, because I’m sure she’s got a decent inheritance, and she’s even done a whole lot of work on her own, but I guess every girl needs to feel pretty sometimes, it’s the basis of daddy issues -cuz daddy was too busy failing to giver her attention – so we can give her male attention she craves….with a body like that, why the fuck not.

Here’s the video…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
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Posted in:Katie Cassidy

2013

09

Apr

Kait Young Hot for L’Officiel Singapore of the Day

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Kait Young is a model I’ve never heard of, but I’m really into this shoot, partially because it reminds me of hot girls getting all dressed up in pantyhoes, looking all ready to get down with some fetish play, you know, long legs, hot ass, erotica, but I’m really sold on the standing over a mirror picture, because I know that every girl, at least once in her life has masturbated in this position, to scope out their goods, and being reminded of that, excites me, but probably not as much as girls get excited when staring at their pussies in a mirror. You bunch of dirt bags.

Posted in:Kait Young

2013

09

Apr

Chanelle Hayes for NUTS of the Day

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Show NSFW Content

Chanelle Hayes is another stripper who never was, because stripping is immoral and for trashy girls, while getting topless for magazines that walk the fine line of porno, you know, that go as far as they can before being considered explicit, is an honorable, artistic driven career that will lead to good places, like celebrity husbands to knock them up. The retirement plan of only the highest class hookers, and I’m not complaining, cuz big tits are amazing, and if they are exposed and in my face, I’m ready to stare at them, or try to lick them, even when on screen, because that’s just the kind of guy who wasn’t breast fed as a child I am. It’d be a huge waste of Chanelle Hayes and her talents if she was working retail or other shit busty girls do who have morals, decency and class.

Keep up the good work baby.

Posted in:Chanelle Hayes|NSFW

2013

09

Apr

Anais Pouliot Subtle Nipple for Some Campaign of the Day

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Anais Pouliot is a local girl who has made it and I am convinced that one day she’ll be visiting her parents in Montreal and I will run into her and I won’t notice her, or recognize her, because she’s Anais Pouliot, and not Britney fucking Spears. I mean she’s the kind of girl I notice when topless pics of her are released and when I see them I think “Shit, she’s from Montreal, I shoulda tried to get her pregnant, or MAKE HER A STEPGIRL …but as soon as I put up the post…i forget she exists.

I’m pretty sure, that’s gonna happen, right about now.

Posted in:Anais Pouliot

2013

09

Apr

Isabeli Fontana Topless for Some Campaign of the Day

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Isabeli Fontana is a major model from Brazil who is doing some campaign with her shirt off, but she might as well should put a shirt on, because she’s strategically covered, in what I guess we could call an arm-bikini, and unless the behind the scene pics of her putting her hands up in the air like a shitty club anthem tells her to do….you know reaching for the stars or some shit…these pics are just a let down, disappointment, I want my money back, situation. It’s like a waste of a bitch willing to get topless for money. This is the stripper who keeps her fucking dress on when you make it rain quarters on her….bullshit.

Posted in:Isabeli Fontana

2013

09

Apr

Rihanna Turning Me on Via Instagram of the Day

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Here are some pics of Rihanna with her mom, who I can tell loves spending her daughter’s money, because it’s better than working as a cleaning lady at a Luxury hotel in barbados, or whatever it is that the mom did before her daughter became this fucking powerhouse and I think it is tapping into my incest fetish, because shit is hot like fire, old mom teaching her daughter some tricks, because you know if Rihanna never made it, they’d be sucking British dick together for 100 dollars. Destiny may have taken a different course, but I still can focus on what shoulda been.

TO SEE HER IN AN OPEN DEMIN SHIRT WITH NO BRA FROM LAST FRIDAY
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Rihanna

2013

09

Apr

Kayley Cuoco is Fat and Scary for Country Music of the Day

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These are from Yesterday.

So Kayley Cuoco killed John Ritter with her good looks on set of 8 Simple Rules a bunch of years ago, because 19 year old babes running around set in their panties with their tits hanging out is hard on the fucking heart.

Well now she’s killing penis everywhere looking like some kind of monster, cracked out prescription medication, probably dealing with the guilt of murdering Jack Tripper, and shit is finally starting to take a toll.

But at least she’s got tits, cuz tits can save a bitch from bad hair, scared animal in the headlights, “I just woke up and don’t know where I am why are there all these cameras” situations, but unfortunately, they don’t bring back people from the dead.

As far as I’m concerned she’s got fat. As far as you’re concerned “Tits”, cuz that’s all that matters.

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS
FOLLOW THIS LINK

Posted in:Kayley Cuoco