DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2012

12

Sep

More Erin Heatherton in a Bikini of the Day

Erin Heatherton is Leonardo DiCaprio’s official model he fucks….because I assume being Leonardo DiCaprio and aware of what dating him does for a model’s career and probably paid by Victoria’s Secret to help launch their new stars into the limelight….as if they are just an escort agency to the stars…which they probably are….he is probably down to fuck whoever he wants….

I personally don’t think she’s all that great to look at….her ass isn’t substantial and compared to Candice Swanepoel she’s feces….and I know what you’re thinking, that I am only saying that cuz Erin Heatheron is really Erin Bubley….a jewish girl from Illinois….but I am not Anti-Semetic and either is DiCaprio since all his girlfriends are jewish….you see I believe we are all God’s Children and all religions have babes and busted up, broken down, gremlin monsters with vaginas…..not that she’s a gremlin, but she is a lot of hype and here she is in a bikini…Victoria’s Secret is pushing this one hard…and here she is in another bikini for her Miami shoot…

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Posted in:Erin Heatherton

2012

12

Sep

Eniko Mihalik Nice Titties for HUGE of the Day

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Eniko Mihalik is my kind of Hungarian model…cuz she’s busty in her rockin’ Cold War, Iron Curtain, Built on Communist Values and hard work, Down with the USSR, first in space travel, Rationed Bread line limited food, good genes cuz the weak died off before the Fall of Communism allowing her to avoid the mafia run Sex Trade body…..

A body she’s not scared to show off naked in fashion shoots…cuz it is sure fucking better than making Borscht in the back of some sex club when not washing old communist party leader semen out of her vagina now that she’s too old to be properly utilized in the human sex trade…..you know a den mother at 25….but instead she whores herself out in a more glamorous, socially accepted way….Gettin Paid…

Posted in:Eniko Mihalik|NSFW

2012

12

Sep

Miley Cyrus’ Awesome Tit Pic of the Day

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Miley Cyrus is awesome….she is a fashion icon and not just to robot lesbians who admire her dyke hair…but to tweens everywhere who are now going bra-less and spandex shorts everywhere they go….making me happy to not be a school teacher as with the early onslaught of puberty, coupled with parents who don’t seem to mind that their daughter are dressed like 80s hookers, not having sex or wanting sex with them is probably challenging no matter how morally grounded you are.

You see just the other day I was in line for a coffee behind a grandfather and his 15 year old grand daughter who had legs for days and a booty that wouldn’t quit but that could hang out of her shorts… with C cup tits and a toned stomach busting out of a tank top….in what made me feel really creepy staring….but that I couldnt’ stop staring at…because as much as I don’t want to sex a tween….I had to take in the pretty serious sceince experiment/miracles that Genetically Modified foods are making in our own backyards and school yards…

The shit is pretty fucking real….and here’s Miley Braless and lovely…

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Posted in:Miley Cyrus

2012

12

Sep

Katrina Bowden Legs for Days of the Day

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Katrina Bowden was some whore from American Pie Episode 40, let’s milk this brand as fucking hard as we can because that’s what you do when you’re hollywood and find something that worked in the 90s and actors that haven’t worked since the 90s who are into making another million to help them ride the next decade…..and she is hot and really being part of that shit that I can only imagine was shit…really propelled her into some amazing OPPORTUNITIES THAT EXPLOIT HER HOT BODY …..like hitting up fashion shows during Fashion Week like she’s doing here…

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Posted in:Katrina Bowden

2012

12

Sep

Doutzen Kroes Does Miami of the Day

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Doutzen Kroes is a hot, thick bodied party slut who married the DJ cuz everyone loves the DJ especially when he headlines all he best parties in Ibiza, or whatever th fuck her black husband and baby daddy works, or wherever the fuck they met, exchanged numbers and he worked her harder than he ever worked any DJ Slut groupie wasted and asking him to play the latest Call me maybe….or at least hard enough to get her pregnant…so that she married him and didn’t abort his kid allowing him to tell all his friends that he fucks top level international lingerie models and not just local models they fuck…cuz girls fucking love DJs….now more than ever…to the point where I think I should become an international DJ cuz I like parties, travel, women, money and drugs enough to embrace the lifestyle….but lucky for you party people, I’m lazy and into self destructing.

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Posted in:Doutzen Kroes

2012

12

Sep

Erin Heatherton and Candice Swanepoel Hot Bikini Hustle for VS of the Day

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I am not the kind of virgin loser who likes comparing hot pussy I’ve never met but would love to make sweet love to and write poetry about….you know the kind of romance that great American love stories are made of…..you know in a Who Would You Rather Do dorm room or mom’s basement or World of Warcraft Chatroom hypothetical, more fantay than all of their hobbies combined situation…I find it lame, obvious, redundant, boring conversaton cuz these bitches don’t know us, will never know us, and choosing between two hot pussies is a retarded concept that makes no sense, when I’d rathre do a cardbord cutout of one of them, than the toothless crackwhores I actually fuck, who I choose based on price….cuz lets face it, fucking anything that I can actually fuck is my fucking choice…..

Here are a couple of pics of them from twitter – not in bikinis….if you like faces as much as I like cumming on faces…

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Posted in:Candice Swanepoel|Erin Heatherton

2012

12

Sep

Azealia Banks for SPIN of the Day

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I don’t give a fuck about Azealia Banks or her music. I don’t know any of her songs. I just know she’s being marketed hard and she’s getting famous and the youth are fucking loving her even though she’s not hot…..

I know you’re thinking some racist shit, cuz she’s black, you know like that I don’t like her kind, or her color, or whatever but the truth is that I love black girls all of the time and I want to fuck them 70 percent of the time, even the fat ones, cuz they are so exotic and have so much flavor…..and now I am left to wonder if it is considered racist to generalize black chicks as being something I want to fuck, you know slotting them in that box cuz I want that box or if racism only counts when the mass generalization is negative….

I guess that’s just another flaw in our society….and here’s Azealia Banks getting more famous for Spin magazine.

Posted in:Azealia Banks

2012

12

Sep

Joanna Krupa Bending Over in Bikini Car Wash of the Day

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Joanna Krupa is pretty fucking jobbing….she’s hurting…she’s fallen off…she’s struggling…she’s rock bottom coasting…and that’s because she decided to use dancing with the stars as a platform to finally become a star…since they needed a hot chick and prior to her being on it she was just a Maxim girl…hardly a fucking star….before realizing that if they didn’t care about her before the shit, they won’t care about her after the shit, even if it put her in front of millions of people who never heard of her again….it was some bad strategy or advice…that has left her washing cars in a bikini for publicity on some low level, obvious, people will notice, but why are you subjecting yourself to this, do you need money this bad kick.

Seriously, I like watching, but I can see the sadness in her vagina definition as she degrades herself like a fucking whore that I guess she’s telling us she is…through her actions not her words…and I kinda love it.

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Posted in:Joanna Krupa

2012

12

Sep

Adrianne Curry Lingerie for Twitter of the Day

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Adrianne Curry is not a friend of DrunkenStepfather.com or me, Jesus Martinez, and I am not just saying that cuz the erotica she produces is on some low grade, mall photographer, the kind who takes nudes of wives for husbands as 20th Anniversary gifts….this lingerie shit she’s posting to twitter, cuz the half naked shit gets her follows, even if no one prior to her getting half naked remembered her from such low level reality shows as the first Season of Next Top Model…something she’s parlayed into such legendary things as marrying and divorcing a 60 year old from the Brady Bunch and ending up dressed up as Star Wars characters at conventions cuz it is all the work she can get….

I am saying it cuz she tried to tell me off on twitter once a long time ago, before blocking me and propelling to this rock bottom self produced lingerie pics….

Posted in:Adrianne Curry

2012

12

Sep

Irina Shayk’s Amazing Video for Le Clover Fall/Winter of the Day

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Irina Shayk is modeling some half naked shit and she is amazing in it, especially since she is in video, because every half naked girl looks better in video, and Irina Shayk, being the hot model she is, is the kind of girl everyone wants to see posing in video, except maybe her husband, but not because he’s jaded and so used to seeing her half naked that it doesn’t phase him or interest him as he’s more into new pussy, and not because he’s jealous and hates hr career, and wants her half naked all to himself, but because he is homosexual and more into his hidden cam videos of his soccer team locker room…cuz it’s not gay if you have a hot girlfriend or if you’re jerking off to your team…..you know how this jocks work.

Posted in:Irina Shayk