I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2010

09

Mar

Breast Milk is Funny Weapon of Assault of the Day

This is a funny story of a drunk hag getting arrested and when being made to change into her prison outfit, she turned around and squirted the cop in the face with her breast milk, or what I like to call, natures most amazing weapon. Sure, bitch could have thrown shit, or pissed on the cop, but that shit is played out and doesn’t get you on the fucking news, so she got creative, and really the cop shouldn’t have pressed charges, she should have taken in every second of amazing stranger tits milk, hot and dripping off her face….

See, I have never tasted breast milk but I have always wanted to. All the women I’ve ended up with have been dried up hags who can’t get pregnant, or young girls who never wanted to pregnant, but if they did get pregnant, they’d abort, so I have always wanted to get the shit sprayed down my throat and all over my face and on more than on occassion, I have tried paying new mother prostitutes or strippers to do it, but they all refused, like I was trying to make the one wholesome thing about them dirty, when everything about them was dirty, especially their drunken, expired cum scent, they just didn’t like to admit it, cuz I guess new mothers are hormonal and shit…..

Posted in:Breast Milk|Lactating

2010

09

Mar

Rozlyn Papa from the Bachelor’s Sex Tape of the Day

I don’t watch TV, especially not bullshit TV like The Bachelor, that’s shit is for single women, or women unhappy in their marriages, but I do know that it’s a fucked up concept where a group of whores fight for the attention of one guy, when really they are fighting for the attention of America, so I wasn’t surprised when I read that one of the contestants had a porno past, cuz girls, when they’ve relied on their mediocre looks all their lives need to get paid, or when they thought they had their big break and would end up famous, only to be kicked off the show into obscurity, will end up sucking big black dick badly on video so people will keep taking about her…and all without showing the world her pussy, enough of a justification that she probably still doesn’t think she’s a whore……but with a name like Rozlyn Papa, it’s pretty hard to take those claims seriously, cuz I’ve had strippers with more legitimate stage names…either way, watch this black on blond bullshit…

Update – Turns out is a fake – I have no idea who she is – so I couldn’t have known better – but at least you saw black dick get sucked, I bet you liked it.

Posted in:Bachelor|Rozlyn Papa

2010

09

Mar

Heidi Montag’s Tits in a Not So Funny FunnyOrDie Video of the Day

Heidi Montag looks like a haggard trainwreck of a prescription drug addict, thanks to all the plastic surgery and genetics that made her pretty fucking ugly, but she does have stupid fake tits, that despite hating fake tits, look better than no tits, I guess….so here she is in a shitty funnyordie video because funnyordie is really not funny, but they clearly think they are, otherwise they probably would have changed their name, or maybe this is some brainwashing shit to trick us into thinking this shit is funny, cuz they tell us it is and people generally need to be told what’s funny or not, that’s why TV had laugh tracks.

Either way, here are her useless tits that won’t save her or her husband who milks her…so now that she’s not funny, does that mean we can kill her and watch her die, or is that just a lie from this bullshit website.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Tits

2010

08

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

All these Oscar parties have really burnt me out, you know the ones I wasn’t invited to because I am irrelevant to the entertainment industry, but I am pretty sure if I really wanted to, I could take the fuck over, at least that’s what I tell myself, because the reality is that I am too lazy, and laziness is the best excuse for failure or not trying, and delusion that you have what it takes makes laziness and not trying trying seem like something you shouldn’t commit suicide over, when you really should commit suicide….

But before we do in some collective internet mass suicide that will get us on the news, here’s some stepLINKS….

Christina Hendricks Hot Tits
GO

Guess Who Got Fucking Fired?! Hahahahhah
GO

Kara DioGuardi Sheer Panty Upskirt – Whore
GO

A Whole Lot of Models Without Pants On
GO

The Hottest Girls At The Oscars
GO

15 Hottest Mother Daughter Combos in Show Business
GO

Mariah Carey’s Cleavage Is Precious, And By Precious I Mean Fat!
GO

Because Being Virgin Doesn’t Have to Be as Depressing As You Life Is
GO

Who Knew French TV Was So AWESOME?! – VIDEO
GO

And More Oscar Drama
GO

2010’s 10 Most Disappointing and Depressing NBA Teams
GO

Dirty Thoughts With Penelope Cruz
GO

Fiona Takes a Bath
GO

Jamie Foxx Wants to Tap That Ass and I Don’t Blame Him
GO

Now THAT’S Some Talent – VIDEO
GO

Abbey Brooks is Worth Taking a Look At
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Did Anyone Check Out That Cunt Who Interrupted the Speech During the Oscars Last Night
GO

Maliah Michel Does Smooth Mag
GO

Belen Rodriguez Looking Hot In Thong Bikini
GO

Tiffany Does Another Lesbo Trick – VIDEO
GO

Mina Suvari is Lookin Good
GO

God Damn I Love Eva Green
GO

Bar Rafaeli is Looking Tasty in White
GO

Stacy Dash is Probably The Most Underrated Actress in Terms of Sex Appeal
GO

Jimmy Kimmel Does Some Funny Shit on His Show Occasionally – VIDEO
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Blonde Virgin on the Fucking Machine
GO

Sports Illustrated Backstage VIDEO
GO

Oscar Slut Round Up
GO

Shay Laren is Sexy is Purple
GO

Julie is a Blonde Girl Next Door Type
GO

25 Animals Humping The Wrong Animal
GO

Party Girls, Dance, Fall – VIDEO
GO

Honest Movie Titles: Oscars 2010
GO

Yeah I’d Bang Cameron Diaz, Joker Face and All
GO

Jaime Hammer Peels Off Her Lingerie
GO

Official Nipple in a See Thru on a Regular Girl
GO

Bonus!
Follow Me. Cuddles
FACEBOOK and TWITTER

Posted in:stepLINKS

2010

08

Mar

Alessandra Ambrosio in a Pink Bikini of the Day

I got in a fight with the paparazzi agency who owns these pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio hot in a Pink Bikini because I talk shit about celebrities, while they pay off celebrities to stage photoshoots they can pretend are candid pictures, because Hollywood is a fucking business. Just last week they paid Nicole Richie 25,000 dollars to stand in front of the Eiffel Tower with her baby, 25,000 dollars for a picture of Nicole Richie. Can you imagine being that desperate of a company that you have to do something like that to generate revenue…

Needless to say, the more celebs I ripped into, the more celebs got mad enough to complain, or maybe they didn’t compain at all, but the photoagency were just doing damage control before they accidentally landed on it, so I can’t post these amazing pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio in her bikini, but lucky for you there are at least 100 sites doing what I do who have the rights to these pcitures and I will link them so you can go and check this shit out…..

So follow this link because seeing the amazing mom body that proves that mom’s aren’t all used up and disgusting that is Alessandra Ambrosio in a bikini was too good to ignore….and remember not all mom’s have to be lazy fucking cunts…so forward this off to your baby mommas or your mother’s or girls you are dating with kids to prove their collective lie wrong.

Alessandra Ambrosio is Fucking Hot in a Pink Bikini
GO

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Pink Bikini

2010

08

Mar

Rose McGowan Showing Off Some Tit of the Day

All these Oscar parties brought out everyone who lives in Los Angeles in some kind of party for the retards who don’t realize they are retards because they are actually making a lot more money and living a lot better lives than we are, leading me to believe that maybe we are the retards and that when I think these people pollute our lives, the reality is that we pollute our own lives and the whole thing is far to confusing for me to understand, but what doesn’t confuse me are Rose McGowan’s tits, because no matter how old she may get, or how many movies she will do that won’t win her an Oscar, I’ll always be down to stare at pictures of them…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Rose McGowan|Tits

2010

08

Mar

Elizabeth Banks from Behind of the Day

I don’t know who the fuck is Elizabeth Banks is or why I bothered posting these pictures of her ass. She isn’t hot and it’s not like she’s showing off ass crack, or even her underwear and it’s not like her ass is even that great, I guess I just lost focus and started staring at it long enough for me to think it was worth doing this….it’s like everytime I leave my house and I fixate on the closest thing I’d be willing to fuck no matter how ugly or disgusting it might be, just as long as it is in the right position, like I can pretend it is posing for me, it just gets me through the boring lonely days…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Elizabeth Banks

2010

08

Mar

Pam Anderson Does a Ghetto In-Store Event of the Day

I guess it’s a testament to where your career has gone or ended up when you are doing in-store appreances at the local Sears in Schaumberg, Illinois. Seriously, that’s where Pam Anderson is in these pictures and I think that booking translates into “time to give the fuck up”. Slip out of the tight dress, accept that just cuz your tits are 20 years old doesn’t mean you are and give the fuck up. Seriously, she needs to donate her tits to science to see how the implants age into their 30s and 40s while the rest of her slowly dies of Hep…or I guess she can keep on doing the Sears tour until she kills herself because after a few of these anyone in their right mind would kill themselves…

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ghetto|In-Store|Pam Anderson

2010

08

Mar

Hilary Swank’s Busted Face in the Right Dress of the Day

Hilary Swank has never been hot. She’s always been a masculine lookin’ jacked up bitch with big tits. She even won an Oscar playing the girl who dressed like a boy before getting killed. So despite having a vagina and a set of great tits, she might as well be packing a dick and balls under her dress, because she’s made it pretty much homosexual to ever like her in a sexual way….Any girl who is that convincing as a dude….just can’t live that down…but at least she’s making the right choices in her clothes to distract me from her face and high testosterone levels….not that you care what I think….so here are the pics…

Pics via LFI

Posted in:Dress|Hilary Swank|Tits

2010

08

Mar

Lydia Hearst and Some Other Models Topless in Purple of the Day

I am happy that Terry Richardson finally let a little loose and brought some of his historic work to this photoshoot in Purple. Maybe his corporate gigs don’t let him take the pictures into the erotic, naked place he’s known for, but luckily Purple is the porn magazine for Fashion. They know that tits get attention and for some reason the models they hire for the shoot seem really down in stripping down, I even feel like they don’t even get paid to do these shoots, it’s all volunteer-based, and the depressing thing in all this is that they’d never do anything like this for me, no matter how I spun it into lookin’ like it’s for art or fashion…

One of the models is Lydia Hearst, who is my internet friend and who I think is amazing, partially because she’s my internet friend, but also because she hasn’t called the cops on me or blocked me on Twitter, when most of these girls are too insecure or stupid to get my jokes or what I do, not that I really even know what I do, but I do know it doesn’t seem to bother Lydia….and that just makes her and her tits the best….

Posted in:Purple|Topless Models