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2010

12

Jan

Some UK Swimathon Bullshit of the Day

I didn’t know people in the UK swam, I thought they were too busy working the mill and sweeping chimneys to find the time to do this shit. I’ve met people from the UK on the beach at various stages in my life and they’ve always been just as afraid of the sun as they were of the water. You know their weird pasty skin covered in full pants, blazer, button down shirt and a sun hat covering an already ridiculous burn on their hands, the only exposed skin, but it turns out that I was wrong. Here’s some bitch named Zoe Saimon trying to be playful at the pool form some “Swimathon” which I guess is for charity, but is instead reminding me of the opening scene of a softcore porn I used to jerk off to before I found real porn….kinda like how this is the pussy Irish people jerk off to because they haven’t found real pussy.


Pics via LFI

Posted in:Swimathon|UK|Zoe Saimon

2010

12

Jan

Megan Fox in Lingerie for Armani of the Day

I know most of you don’t realize that Megan Fox is a piece of fucking tash who is holding onto her title as the hottest pussy in hollywood as hard as she can. I know you have her pictures on your desktops and stapled to your pillow cases to feel like you wake up with your angel every morning. I know you have jerked off to her at least once and I know you don’t see the gutter trailer park stripper achieving her dream, but instead the embodiment of everything you think a woman should be, including being emotionally dependent on the loser from 90210 because being emotionally dependent on the loser from 90210 comes with some pretty solid fucking tits…tits you know would make a killing getting tweaked while riding random trucker laps if it wasn’t making a killing starring in shitty fucking movies…Either way, Armani’s hit the bargain basement and is no longer a premium brand, but I guess we already knew that everytime we saw a Chachi piece of trash out in public back in the late 90s in his Armani jeans.

Posted in:Lingerie|Megan Fox

2010

12

Jan

Pheobe Price Clownin’ of the Day

This just in….Phoebe Price is a fucking joke. No wait…we already knew that….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Idiot|Pheobe Price

2010

12

Jan

Christina Aguilera is Still On Set of the Day

I hate when people defend actors. They tell me how hard their jobs are and how many hours they put into the shit, when I know that all they do is remember a handful of fucking lines they are about to shoot, and spend the rest of their time on set either repeating themselves until it is perfect, or sitting in their trailer doing blow, playing videogames, or pretending they are so fucking great while fucking groupies in front of the mirror, all while getting paid millions of dollars….I think the fact that Christina Aguilera was cast to be in a movie just proves that anyone can act and that everyone has what it takes, it doesn’t take years of training or any of that shit, you just need to know how to read or have someone next to you tell you the lines you have to say. It’s a great fucking scam that I wish I got up on, but I just don’t think the camera loves me as much as it should….in fact no one loves me, but that doesn’t change the fact that Aguilera brought her little slut ass out to set….where she got to rub up next to a dude who doesn’t look like her monster husband….and here are the pics….

Pics via Bauer
Pics via Fame

Posted in:Burlesque|Christina Aguilera

2010

12

Jan

Ellen Pompeo is Showing Off Her Post-Pregnancy Tits of the Day

Looks like Ellen Pompeo tried to reclaim some of that sex appeal she thought she once had before she had her kid, but that I don’t think she ever had because there’s nothing hot about her, and she did it the good old fashion way….by showing her new fat tits.

I guess it’s like when a girl gets her period and hormonally knows to dress and act sluttier to show off her swollen tits despite ruining the good times by dropping the bomb everytime she brings a random dude home and has to say “We can’t tonight, I have my period” when he is about to stick his dick in her forcing dude to suck it up and reply “I don’t give a fuck, just fuck me you whore who brought me home tonight even though we just met, when girls never bring me home and I don’t even remember the last time I got laid, but thanks to your hormones and possibly God, I’m not leaving here without having my dick in a pussy, so get out your plastic shee”, only instead of blood dripping out of her vagina, she’s had baby crawl out of the shit and here are her tits in an animal print bra…cuz she’s trying her hardest to remind herself guys want to fuck her…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Ellen Pompeo|Tits

2010

11

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

Marie-Eve here again.

I don’t know where the fuck fat ass disappeared to this afternoon but he’s been M.I.A and isn’t answering the pay phone at the park where he hangs out with that homeless that always licks his lips when he sees me. (Ew). Knowing him, he probably got arrested for indecent exposure on the bus (he likes to hop in the back door to avoid paying) or is laying in a ditch somewhere bleeding out of his ass after getting gang raped by a group of Trannys.

Either/Or.

Pending any new developments, click all of these links while I debate filing a missing person’s report.


Minka Kelly Says I Do to Derek Jeters Herpes for Life
GO

Suri’s Toy Car Costs More Than Your Real Car, Possibly More Than Your House
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Bottom Pictures
GO

Get Laid. It Pays
GO

Oh and Here’s Some of Minka Kelly’s Hottest Pics Ever
GO

PRANK WAR RECAP!
GO

shauna Sand is Fucking Disgusting
GO

High Speed Homer Simpson Painting
GO

And More Drama from Lindsay Lohan
GO

50 Things Made Better By Bacon
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Replacing the Hoff with Howie Mandle is Like Drinking Shirley Temples instead of Striaight Up Scotch
GO

Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothing to Fuck With
GO

The Midget Slut From Jersey Shore Had an Upskirt
GO

Mischa Barton Makes Me Want to Puke
GO

Zoe Saldana is Hot but Bitch Needs to Eat Some Fucking Food
GO

Paul Sorvino From Good Fellas is Creating is Own Line of Pasta Sauce and It’s Hilarious
GO

Bruna Hort Gallery
GO

Chantelle Strips. Nuff Said
GO

Conan O’Brian Needs to Kick NBC in the Nuts and Break the Fuck Out
GO

Backflop Fail, Bitch
GO

Pussy Shave Video
GO

Blonde Cuties Get It On
GO

Here’s the Trailer for the A-Team Moie, If You Care
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Hahah This Dog Jerking Off is Hilarious, But You Are Pathetic and Will Probably Get Off On It
GO

Sharon Stone is Fucking Delusional
GO

Tanya Robinson and Kayleigh Pearson
GO

Raven is a Beach Babe
GO

Say Hello to Verunka
GO

Man, Tori Spelling Way Never Hot, But Seriously What Happened To Her Face
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Jana Jordan and Her Little Red Toy
GO

Jelena Jensen and Her Sunglasses
GO

Eva Mendes Loves Going Topless and I Love Her For It
GO

20 Years of the Simpsons
GO

The Truth About Hooters Girls
GO

Sure India, Let’s Throw Babies Off of Buildings, Why Not?
GO

Facebook Bukkake
GO

A Bunch of Sluts from the People’s Choice Awards
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2010

11

Jan

Miley Cyrus’ Virgin Who Isn’t a Virgin Muffin Top of the Day

I met a girl this weekend who was talking about her boyfriend and how obsessed he was with Miley Cyrus. He thought she was so fucking hot and that she caught him jerking off to pictures of her online on more than one occassion. Which amazed me because I found it weird, maybe because I think she’s a fucking disaster with a wonky inbred face….I guess he just liked the whole young girl pretending she’s a virgin act, so I asked her if he ever insisted on putting ketchup inside her while they fuck to simulate de-virginization, because as a man who has never banged or wanted to bang a virgin in his life, I can’t really relate, see I only likes my pussy tainted like the meat at the ghetto grocery store cuz tainted means affordable….needless to say, that girl I met on the weekend didn’t want to become friends….but apparently Miley’s vagina wants to become friends with every cock around…I guess that’s what Disney execs only allowing you to do oral all these years will do to a motherfucker…and here she is keeping it wholesome with her muffin top….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Muffin top

2010

11

Jan

Christina Aguilera, Cher and Kristen Bell Do Burlesque of the Day

I am too lazy to figure out what’s going on in these pictures. I just know that Vampire Den Mother Cher gay icon tucked her weathered Native American cock into her sequined girdle or the “Spanx” as the trendy refer to them today, only to taint Kristen Bell’s fat ass that her new brown hair can’t distract me from, while Christina Aguilera’s skinny ass and busted face waited outside a Burlesque show, where I guess she’s going to learn a few dance moves because pregnancy took her out of her “Dirrrty” mindset and just made her pussy dirty to look at or fuck thanks to opting out of the “C-Section” she was offered….good times…

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Burlesque|Cher|Christina Aguilera|Kristen Bell

2010

11

Jan

Shenae Grimes Does Asian Lesbians of the Day

I know Shenae Grimes is someone who really doesn’t matter and I’m not one of those faggots in a “Roots” sweater with a Canada flag tattooed on my chest who has Canadian pride in any way, which I think is the only valid reason anyone should be talking about her or her stint in the USA on the shittiest concept of a show ever, I just thought it was funny watching her get man-handled by some big dyke asian chick who overpowered her, you know for the sake of sexual fantasies, if big dyke asian chicks are your thing….and that’s all I have to say about that, because let’s face it I’ve said too much….

Pics via Bauer

Posted in:Asian|Lesbians|Shenae Grimes

2010

11

Jan

Phoebe Price’s Ass in Silver of the Day

I guess Phoebe Price thought her ass was good enough to Bronze the shit so that it will eternally live with us, like a mother does with her babies first shoes, but since Phoebe Price is too old and self involved to have a baby, she went for the closest fucking thing, or maybe she’s just wearing a pair of metallic leggings to give off that effect and hope the sun reflects off the shit and blinds a passer-by causing a car accident, so that if gives her the illusion that she still has whatever it is she had that led her ego taking her to Hollywood to share with the world in the first place, when really shit’s just old and sloppy….

Pics via Fame

Posted in:Ass|Phoebe Price|Silver