Amber Rose, the girl who is known for being Kanye West’s shopping partner, because he can’t buy women’s clothes for himself, people will start askin’ questions about how straight he is, so he might as well do it with some slutty bitch he isn’t fucking, so the media thinks he’s fucking her, so that no one calls him out on suckin’ dick while wearing panties.
Either way she took her Irrelevant Celebrity Status to an Irrelevant Event, like the Guess store opening, because I guess Guess didn’t die when their poster girl Anna Nicole did, it died long before that….
Speaking of Guess, when I was younger and more sociable, before just giving people dirty looks, I’d throw out bra sizes at girls wearing Guess shirts like they were asking me to guess their titty size and great times were had by all…
I saw this video doing the rounds, and I got annoyed, because I know the company who wrote and approved the script and paid to air the final product, is going to walk away from this with their tail between their legs, like typical fuckin’ companies who fear they offended people, and the whole thing is bullshit.
I am just waiting for a company to do something that is misinterpreted by the public and have them stand by their commercials or statements, I am tired of the constant backtracking to please assholes who have no idea what’s up.
So this “Offensive” commercial is a group of black girls getting a weave, because guess what, lots of black girls get weaves, and they talk about their weaves and they even get saved from getting shot cuz of their weaves and sure other girls get weaves too, and lots of strippers and tacky bitches get weaves, because they just aren’t for black chicks, but seriously, I wouldn’t say this shit is racist, it looks pretty true to life to me. If it was racist, they’d be eating a bucket of chicken, having daddy-less babies between shifts at the stripclub where they beat up every white girl, and most importantly, they wouldn’t have a cellular cuz shit woulda got disconnected 3 months earlier when they stopped payin the fuckin’ bill.
Grow some fuckin’ balls people and get a fuckin’ sense of humor about shit.
Here’s LeAnn Rimes walking around. I hear she’s working on a new album about her slow voyage into lesbianism. I think there was a time dudes wanted to fuck this, and that’s why I am assuming it’s called “From Pussy People Wanted to Fuck to Pussy That Scissors other Pussy” Sure that’s weak, but I watched my friend piss in a random girl’s mouth last night after we watched her finger herself while on her period before suckin’ the blood off her fingers and starting up on fingering her ass, all while not being ugly, and nothing I write will compare to that amazingness, I am still in some kind of daze about that shit….
I was sitting at home earlier tonight with nothing to do. I was just tagged myself as the crotch on random facebook girls’ pictures and messaging them saying “I own your pussy” but that got boring fast. So I decided to get up, get out, and get drinking, despite my vow to quit drinking the other day, I looked at it as some kind of goodbye party, that was more of a welcome home party to my alcoholism.
Now drinking lead me to meeting a random hot girl on the street outside an apartment, who had black make-up on like she was a cat, or at least a crazy person, and she invited me and my two friends in to do some blow. It was random, I thought shit, doesn’t she know she could get raped and realized when her pants were off and she was fingering her ass, licking period blood off her finger while my friend pissed in her mouth, that she meant business. Clearly, I like breaking girls who would not do that on a normal night into doing that and not girls who offer that shit up everytime they do a bag of coke, because it makes me feel like I am taking advantage of them or a molester or going to get AIDS but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t one of the best nights of the week and I have drinking to thank for that….seriously…fucking insane.
I got her number, maybe she’ll get wasted and let us relive it with a video camera….
Because Busting a Nut is a RIGHT Not a PRIVILEDGE GO
This story brings hope of a better tomorrow, because tomorrow, I am going on a road trip and this video pretty much secured the destination……The law has finally done something right for me and I figure I better rush before it’s too fuckin’ late and they catch on and ruin the fun…as the law tends to do….
Woah, is that a basketball in Blake Lively’s dress….or she’s got her period or maybe it’s coke bloat or it could even be that she’s a sloppy little whore and this dress was not really made for her. But I think it’s most likely pregnancy because that’s what happens when little whores have a little too much to drink and think they’re invincible and nothing bad can happen to them because everything else surprisingly worked out so famously, but the good news is that for the most part that all comes crashing down….
I know some of you like big girls. You know the kind of woman who can lift your pussy body over their head and throw you on the bed to have their way with you…..I am not one of those people. The thought of what Brigitte Nielsen’s vagina looks like after seeing what the rest of her looks like scares me, it is the kind of shit Horror movie monsters are based on, and I don’t see how this could have ever been a sex icon, if anything the only thing that does makes sense is if Sly Stallone used to fuck her with his bicep back when they were married….because no penis touches these vagina walls and if they do she pins them in some submissive hold and chokes them the fuck out….
You know part of the fun when it comes to getting pussy is the chase, especially on those dark nights when running down alleys trying to keep up with a bitch who is screaming for her life who is way more athletic than you because this is a Yoga generation, before either catching up and having your way with her, or losin’ her forcing you to find another girl to chase. cuz shit’s like a sport that is made a lot less cardiovascularly straining with roofies…
Either way, here’s Rachel McAdams on set totally cockteasing you rapists out there….
Lady Gaga and that face are just mocking us now. I hope you realize that and by you, I mean the world, because she’s pretending to be an artist, while just being a fuckin’ clown and anyone who thinks this is interesting, or cerebral, on some next level shit is a fuckin’ idiot who is just jumpin on the bandwagon cuz they are followers, gay poser, because no straight dude would get down to this, and no real fag would respect any of this. I encourage any stalker weirdo out there who wants to kidnap her, to stop plotting and make a fuckin’ move, cuz I’m tired and starting to get angry, and regret that I grabbed her ass when I saw her in the club, when I should have stabbed her in the fuckin neck with a broken beer bottle….not because I am a violent person, but because it is my artistic vision….and I think it would contribute to her outfit as a great accessory…with actual purpose…instead of whatever is going on with these Kermit the frogs….assholes…
Here’s the bitch from Grey’s Anatomy showing her anatomy. Good one you fucking asshole. Whenever I write stupid little bullshit things like that I am forced to try to drown myself in the toilet, now that may sound alright to some of you, but you see, we don’t have water and my wife takes sick shits.
The truth is she isn’t even showing off her anatomy. I can’t see pussy lip. She’s got her fuckin’ underwear on, and it’s not even fuckin’ sheer so I can’t even see bush and I don’t even know if she’s got a fire crotch, or if she’s bald like most redheads who are ashamed with the stigma that comes with being a redhead, but I do know she has had sex with Drew Carey and if that doesn’t give you hope, I don’t know what will. Sure he’s a multimillionaire and you aren’t, but maybe she was into him cuz he was bald, fat and wore glasses…right…
On a sidenote, she’s going thru a divorce, so this just be some kind of desperate mating call….