I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

19

Jun

Some Dude Gets Arrested for Trying to Help of the Day

I feel bad for this dude, he is misunderstood, all he did was install a camera in a teenage girl’s bedroom to make sure she was ok. You know to make sure no one sneaks in at night and rapes her, and to make sure that she was still breathing while she slept, masturbated, or pretty much did anything girls do in their rooms. I feel the injustice isn’t that she was being watched, it’s that he wasn’t crowned a fuckin’ hero, not to mention the only reason he got busted is cuz the 16 year old he was spying on was spying on him, so someone needs to bring her down.

Side note for those wondering, this story isn’t about me, I am not into hidden cameras, I am more into surprise visits.

Posted in:Peeping Tom|Voyeur

2009

19

Jun

Leighton Meester Sex Tape of the Day

I don’t have the Leighton Meester sex tape, she’s some chick from Gossip Girl who is all the rage right now, making a sex tape release good fuckin’ time.

I don’t really give a fuck, because I’ve been doing this shit for far too long to really think a sex tape leak is just a played out waste of time, sure I’ll watch the shit, but they have proven to be boring as fuck and unless the celebrity is bouncing off my pathetic dick, I just can’t be bothered, pretty much the same way they can’t be bothered with me.

The reason a lot of these nude pics pop up is because the shit that is a girl who wants to be famous, is usually a fucking insecure, attention craving slut who doesn’t necessarily suck dick to the top, but definitely sucks dick because she likes the attention and does whatever it takes to be the hottest shit with whoever she’s around, whether that’s a porn producer promising her fame, or a boyfriend with a cellphone, or a promoter at a club, or some rich kid she wants to go home with because he promised to bring her to Mexico for Spring Break.

They just want to be on camera….they just want to be seen. It’s some crazy shit and it will lead to some good internet content when it drops.

Posted in:Leighton Meester|Sex Tape

2009

18

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I was walking down the street and passed some weird guy standing on the corner with a lap top in hand. He called me over to get in on the fun that he was having. I wasn’t going to go look at his screen because I feel like I’ve seen a variation of that movie and would rather not get raped and murdered in a back alley, even if it was more exciting than most of what I’ve been up to lately.

So I decided to entertain the weirdo, and look onto his screen, only to find out that he was watching a video of himself jerking off.

I figure this is some new age flasher shit, and part of me wants to give him props for innovation, part of me wants to give him advice on technique cuz I know masturbating and part of me wants to convince him to get some videos of girls masturbating, since that’s kinda my thing, but the biggest part of me felt really weird about the whole thing, and a little too close to the dude to really want to spend time gettin’ closer, I mean I knew him all of 10 seconds before seeing him jerk the fuck off, and I couldn’t help but wonder:

What’s going to happen a minute into this? Or 5 minutes in….

Then I realized that’s where the rape and murder come into play and I had to boot out of there before shit got weirder which is saying a lot consider dudes on his computer watching jerk off videos of himself…with me….

I left and deicided to call you over to see what’s going on on my computer screen, in the form of stepLINKS, I know not as perverted, but one day it just may be.

Follow My Fat Ass on Twitter
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Here are the rest of my links:

Really Easy Girls Who Have Very Proud Parents….
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While Madonna is Waiting for Her Fifth Child to Be Delivered From DHL…
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Have You Heard? I Was Under the Impression EVERYONE Had Heard!
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Meet The Hot Models Of The Pirelli Calendar
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Girls and Free Pool Parties
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Lesbian Sex Fantasy of the Day
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This Party Planning Dude is a Tad Fucking Creepy
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Reece Witherspoon Seems Like a Real Fucking Cunt
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Now Here’s Some College Mascots I Can Get Down With
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Island Cutie Talks Dancing
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Striptease of the Day
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Aubrey O’Day Got Robber But At Least Her Tits Are Still In Tact
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Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton Hate That Kate Gosselin and Her
Army of Children Are Taking Up All the Gossip
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Ibiza is on High STD Alert Thanks to Katie Price
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Britney Spears Hard Nipples
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I’d Like to Bang Angelina Jolie On The Un Podium Personally
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Shanna Moakler, WTF Are You Wearing?
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Amy Winehouse is a Tattooed Lizard!
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This Fire David Letterman Thing is Getting Out of Hand
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Remember How Awesome It Was When Paris Hilton Was In Jail?
Let’s Laugh About It Together Again
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Boobs on the Catwalk Are Awesome
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Caught in Gang Crossfire
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The Things People Do to Get Famous
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Suzie Carina is a Little Slice of Something I Want
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Sheerleader Katrina
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Billy Joel Better Find Some New Pussy
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Not The Final Lap – VIDEO
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Let’s Jerk Off to Samantha Ryan Together
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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David Archuleta’s Dad Prefers Massages of the “Full Service” Nature
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Lucy Pinder Throwback – Her First Fully Nude Shoot
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These Strong Dykes Freak Me Out
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And My Dream Girl of the Day Is….
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Beyonce Bikini Throwback
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Bakc Flop Off a High Dive – VIDEO
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You Can Restore Your Virginity As Often As You Want!
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Fuck You Jamie Foxx
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Just Try and Tell Me These Dudes Aren’t Homos
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Lookin Good Sweetheart
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Cris Cyborg Will Choke You Out
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Sexy Bikini Chick Makes For A Good Thursday
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The Gays Are Mad At Bruno
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Rogue Collector’s Photobucket Finds are Back

An Asian and Her Vagina….
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Some Amateur Tits!!!
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A Girl Trying to Be Sexy in her Underwear
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Lookin’ Good Sweethearts are Back:
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

18

Jun

Olivia Munn Did Playboy of the Day

Who the fuck is Olivia Munn again? Oh right she’s that annoying pawn that G4 TV used to be the cool and crazy techy girl who is well versed in nerd interests and activity and news in order to trick the target market into thinking that hot chicks actually care about the same shit they care about.

Well I guess she did Playboy and this is the cover…I have a feeling she didn’t get naked….That would make her nerds hate her….

Here’s her stupid reveal party for her nerds….

Posted in:Olivia Munn|Playboy

2009

18

Jun

Rafael Van Der Vaart and Wife Sylvie in Ibiza in a Bikini of the Day

I am pretty disgusted by people. You know when you see a hot girl who only gets with a soccer player because he’s considered a celebrity in whatever immigrant country they are from and has a lot of money, so that if this poor motherfucker worked at his dad’s hat shop and was out of shape from eating all the meatballs his fat wife feeds him, or whatever the fuck immigrant business they are in, she wouldn’t even give him the time of day.

It’s like how the fuck do you know a persons intentions, who is really sincere, are we on this solo life mission where everyone is out for themselves, I’d say thank god I don’t have to worry about this kind of thing, cuz people who talk to me are authentic and I know who is real, but that’d be a fuckin lie, I hate the hurtbags who talk to me and annoy me with their poverty, I wish the biggest worry for me was if a whore was with me for my money or my personality, because I already know I have a shitty personality and I also know thatI’d only be with her for sex and her hot ass pussy. I don’t know what an ass pussy is, but feel it’s popular in the Gay part of town…

Here are the pics of these people I’ve never heard of.

Posted in:Rafael Van Der Vaart|Sylvie Van Der Vaart

2009

18

Jun

Serena Williams and Her Ironic T-Shirt of the Day

I am definitely not lookin’ at her titles, bitch, I’m lookin’ the other way, cuz she’s a fuckin’ monster, I mean after I fully take her in and get over the initial shock that a girl can be made like this, like she has a fuckin’ real vagina and everything, it’s on some Chastity Bono shit, but the other way around, because it was a good money makin’ scheme to get them into fuckin’ a woman’s sport and dominate, instead of living life as the biological man she is and just be a construction worker.

I met a girl last night who had high testosterone levels, she only gets her period twice a year and doesn’t look like a dude, isn’t hairy like a dude, but likes to fuck like a dude and all the fuckin’ time like a dude, and it’s the closest thing you get to being a gay couple that never leaves the rooms, except to take their AIDS cocktail, I mean other than bagging this William’s sister.

Speaking of stereotypes, I accidentally called a black chick Rudy Huxtible when I was drunk, cuz she was on that 80s vibe, and she wasn’t impressed.

Posted in:Ironic T-Shirt|Serena Williams|Sports

2009

18

Jun

Shauna Sand is Still in a Bikini of the Day

Seeing Shauna Sand drinking wine with all her kids on the beach, including her boy toy she fucks, and who she isn’t decent enough to not introduce to her kids as their temporary new dad who mom pays off to fuck, because she’s a whore, untilsomeone hotter comes along, because you know this kind of bouncing from man to man won’t fuck them up over the course of their life, whether it turns them lesbian, or into sluts like their moms, or just weird, all ruin the fantasy I had of her being the perfect mother who puts her kids before her, and that makes me cry on the inside. I had such high hopes for this cunt….

Posted in:Bikini|Parenting|Shauna Sand|Wino

2009

18

Jun

Elle Macpherson’s Hard Nipple Picks Up Her Kid at School of the Day

Elle Macpherson’s nipple is hard which is a real coincidence because so is my clit of a dick which I pitch to girls as less work than a real dick and that usually gets me me a laugh, sure it’s not an orgasm, making all this pineapple I’ve been eating pretty much obsolete, but I guess a laugh is better than escorted out of the club.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|Nipple

2009

18

Jun

Coleen Rooney and Her Pregnancy on the Beach of the Day

I think it’s time for this bitch to put her shit away, wrap it up and head back to the UK fully clothed. I am tired of posting her pictures, but even more tired of trying to come up with a story about a pregnant chick that I’ve either known or fucked, because let’s face it, I try my best to avoid that shit, by either throwing them down the stairs, staging a scary dream that ends in multiple uterus punches, or even go as far as driving into a brick wall if needed, because some of us get freaked out by babies and that level of work, responsibility and money, so even though I didn’t knock this bitch up, I know some asshole who is faking a smile somewhere did, while his insides are plotting the fuckin’ escape, and it’s all because this bitch is bored, likes commitment and financial security that comes with having a rich dude’s baby, and a solid excuse to justify her sloppy stomach next year at the beach. I think I said that before, but I am repetitive.

Posted in:Coleen Rooney|Pregnant

2009

18

Jun

Britney Spears and Her Sloppy Hard Nipples of the Day

Britney Spears’ nipples remind me of this skinny girl I once knew, who the second you’d get naked, the truth would come spilling the fuck out all over the fuckin’ place. Her tits would drop, her ass would fuckin’ drop and her legs would have the dirtiest cellulite I pretty much ever saw, before marrying my wife, he turns out to be made up of 98 percent cellulite and 2 percent useless fuckin’ lazy cunt who annoys the fuck out of me and lowers the little self esteem I have when I have to admit that not only did I fuck her in a bad drunk decision, but I also married the whore.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Nipples