DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

21

Apr

Amy Winehouse Almost Kills a Kid on Britain’s Got Talent of the Day

So here’s some kid who is the next Susan Boyle. Millions have already seen his video because people care about British Talent because we’re all shocked that British people and their grey skin are capable of anything other than hard drinking and chimney sweeping….

I guess and I am just posting it to prove to you that Amy Winehouse can ruin little boys, while Michael Jackson can save them, take them out of their single mother shitty life, and make them stars, all they have to do is grip onto that microphone in his pants gently and sing into it with a lot of tongue…

I guess this is all just proof Simon knows what he’s doing and doesn’t need Seacrest and his jealous bitch behavior to bring him down……or some shit…I don’t fucking know…I am still trying to pronounce this kids name…Sahenn Jafargholi….WTF is that.

Posted in:Saheen Jafargholi

2009

21

Apr

Lindsay Lohan Hiding Her Face of the Day

1 Comment »

If you’re wondering why sexy Lindsay Lohan is covering her face, it’s because she got a face tattoo like Mike Tyson did after he got out of prison, as a symbol to never forget, because in a lot of ways, she just escaped a prison of her own and that is a lesbian relationships, because they are hell, you know since girls are needy/emotional/crazy/get their periods/want to cuddle/love male attention that isn’t yours/always creating drama and issues because they are psychos who need dudes to control them to keep them in check like nature had originally planned for them, before they got all independent and weird and I blame the media for that.

Posted in:Face|Hiding|Lindsay Lohan

2009

21

Apr

Another Lady Gaga with No Pants on Post of the Day

5 Comments »

When I saw this set of pictures I thought to myself that I wasn’t going to post them, because it’s just another Lady Gaga without pants screaming “Everyone Look at Me” and I generally hate people who are like that, especially when they are ugly and not naked/making their vaginas talk, unless their was an ass shot. The last picture in the set, was an ass shot. This is the result. An unispired post that I had a debate with myself about posting. I guess Gaga like Lily Allen does inspire people to become gay, or in the very least question their sexuality, because if any other girl was wearing a leotard, there would be no internal dialog about whether or not to post it. Gaga, take your dick, and shove it in your ass, you faggot whore. I am convinced that she has a dick and if she doesn’t, she might as well have one, because I am a pretty straight dude and there’s no way I’d ever fuck with that, even with her money, fame and promises.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Pantsless|Pig

2009

21

Apr

Jewel and Her Cane Turn Me On of the Day

2 Comments »

Nothing screams opportunity to me like a girl with a cane. See I am not a very good athlete and girls with canes are very good at running away from me and my awkward boner…I’ve probably said that before, but only because it is the sad truth.

Posted in:Cane|Jewel

2009

21

Apr

Richard Branson and his Naked Girlfriend of the Day

9 Comments »

You don’t need to be a billionaire to get a naked chick hanging off you while you kiteboard, you just have to be me, not that I kiteboard or get naked chicks hanging off me, but I could, I just need to go to Vietnam or Thailand, where 20 US dollars gets me 3 naked girls climbing up me like I was a junglegym, and by 3 naked girls I mean 10 year old boys.

Either way, here’s Branson with his girlfriend Denni “Michael J. Fox” Parkinson naked for a photoshoot from god fuckin’ knows where, to remind you that his life is amazing and yours is not. Enjoy….

Posted in:Denni Parkinson|Naked|Richard Branson

2009

21

Apr

Single Mom Sexy Dance For Her Kids of the Day

6 Comments »

I am sure chicks do this on purpose because the shit gets more play than when they don’t film themselves doing their stripper routine with their kids in the fucking room, holding the camera badly, and watching momma show off how she pays for all those bags of chips, take-out and the widescreen TV. It’s inappropriately amazing and I wish the single mom’s pulled this shit at the strip club, you know breast feeding their needy kids between stage dances, so you really know where your 10 dollars is going….In her defense, I’ve seen Jamaican dancehall dancing, and maybe being half naked and simulating sex is a cultural thing, I ain’t judgin, I’m just wishing my momma did this kinda thing for me when I was growin’ up, cuz I am a pervert and because I always wanted to be an internet video supporting actor.

Posted in:Mom|Stripper Dance

2009

21

Apr

Lily Allen Looks Hot of the Day

2 Comments »

I was almost going to say that Lily Allen looks hot, not because I was trying to be clever and she’s walking around in a blanket, like the time I thought it’d be funny to wear a full ski suit to a picnic at the park so that people would think I was crazy and give me free food, but because she’s coverin’ up that busted face, but then I realized I can still see her short, think, heavily downloaded legs and I’m not really able to see past that. This bitch needs to put a picture of her friend Lindsay Lohan on her fridge and get thinspired, she’s trying to be famous and obesity may have worked for Oprah, Rosie, Roseanne, that bitch in what’s eating Gilbert Grape, Lily Allen to date, John Goodman and probably a lot of other people, but I never jerked off to any of them on a regular basis and I figure real success people should be looking for is directly tied into what I jerk off to.

On a sidenote, I was teasing her on twitter today, this is what I said…not that you care…and either does she, cuz I didn’t get an answer….

@lilyroseallen please don’t take your clothes off cuz you’re shameless and that’s what it takes to get famous. I am not ready for that vag.

@lilyroseallen oh shit – i forgot – @perezhilton already posted your pussy. I guess to make his bisexual readers take the gay plunge.?

Yes, my site is about following useless, unattractive popstars I hate today.

Posted in:Hot|Lily Allen

2009

21

Apr

Brooke Hogan Does a Video Shoot in Her Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

So Brooke Hogan was out filming a video for what I assume is her new album and that’s a perfect example of why having a trashy uneducated father with a lot of money comes in handy. The reason I threw in uneducated, is because the rich kids I’ve met over the years who have parents who aren’t ex-wrestlers/glorified stripclub bouncers, get forced into college when they throw out genius ideas like how they want to be the next Britney Spears, where people like Hulk Hogan, who are blinded by the fact that he thinks his daughter is the best out there, and the guilt from stickin’ his dick in her one night, that he can’t say no, and instead spends what he’d spend on a year of tuition on cutting her album and filming her video where she gets half naked, cuz Hulk and his years of stripclub bouncing knows guy want to get their money worth, especially when it is his money, and like a lap dance, that he’s just flushing down the fucking toilet, because this Khloe Kardashian version of Paris Hilton is going nowhere.

That said, to put things into persepective, her boyfriend who you’d think is a little weasel motherfucker in these pics, is actually 6 foot 2 and 190 pounds….I guess she’s the top. Enjoy. Weirdo.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Video

2009

21

Apr

Lady Gaga Does Coldplay of the Day

2 Comments »

I am continuing my Gaga hate watch and this time it is her in concert on her piano doing the Coldplay Viva La Vida song. I used to give her some credit about her singing, I used to say the face of an accident victim and a voice of an angel, but her voice isn’t even as good as I originally expected. She may have the same level of sex appeal as Susan Boyle, but she doesn’t have her talent.

Either way scroll through to 3:30 and listen to her drag queen swag that pisses me the fuck off everytime I hear it. Speak like a normal person you fucking piece of shit clown.

Now I’ll get to posting bitches you wanna fuck, just give me a minute.

Lady Gaga, Coldplay
Lady Gaga Does Coldplay of the Day

I am continuing my Gaga hate watch and this time it is her in concert on her piano doing the Coldplay Viva La Vida song. I used to give her some credit about her singing, I used to say the face of an accident victim and a voice of an angel, but her voice isn’t even as good as I originally expected. She may have the same level of sex appeal as Susan Boyle, but she doesn’t have her talent.

Either way scroll through to 3:30 and listen to her drag queen swag that pisses me the fuck off everytime I hear it. Speak like a normal person you fucking piece of shit clown.

Now I’ll get to posting bitches you wanna fuck, just give me a minute.

Here’s Gaga being fucking lame in the UK….Check Out the Fatty in the See THrough Shirt….Not the Fatty in the Umbrella-ella-ella-eh shirt….Why is she doin the whole hanging with fat chick thing…or right…cuz she’s fat and they are fatter…that makes her feel skinny…I get it…she’s so obvious….

Posted in:Coldplay|Lady Gaga

2009

21

Apr

Chester French Album Drops Today of the Day

4 Comments »

I started following one of the members of Chester French a month ago not knowing who they were, but all these rappers kept responding to them and figured they must do something interesting, because you know rappers are always knee deep in interesting shit, like drugs, money and women.

Eventually, I figured out they were in a band on tour with Gaga. That’s when I started buggin’ out on them over the internet, trying to get access to Gaga in hopes of grabbing her crotch to see if there was what I expected there to be, if you know what I mean.

They never answered, so I ended up sneaking into the show, and after the show, after getting totally fucking wasted, I was out on the street paying a bum 2 dollars to show me his cock and these two guys walked by me laughing. We got to talking, they were in Chester French, I told them I was bugging them on twitter, we hugged it out and it was the start of a long lasting friendship that I expect will get me invited to their rockstar weddings and mansion parties, maybe get invited on tour or at least get some sloppy groupies no one wants, and if they don’t want me on tour with them, maybe a couple topless /nude pics of their whore rich girl fans. Even though they seem too decent for that.

They launched their album today. I predict it’ll be huge, they are getting tons of love and doing things right and I wish them all the success they deserve and hope you click through and get yourself a copy, since what they are offering is pretty fucking reasonible you bootleg pirate motherfucker.

Get Their Fucking Album, It is Going to Be Huge….
GO

BONUS – Here’s their Video

Posted in:Album|Chester French|Drop