I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

27

Mar

P Twitty TV is Fucking Retarded of the Day

Puff Daddy blocked me on Twitter for posting hateful messages directed at him about putting Chris Brown and Rihanna up in his house back after he beat her up. I didn’t realize that this crazy motherfucker does these stupid twitter videos in his custom jeeps, where he talks about how great he’s doing, how happy he is, how amazing life is, in some crazy manic shit like “Look at me and God baby”, pushing this whole stay positive insanity, and I just can’t wait for this manic episode to come crashing down hard. He’s obviously not right and needs medication, therapy or suicide.

Posted in:Diddy|Twitter|Unstable

2009

27

Mar

Rihanna Love Letter of the Day

Here’s a love letter I spent the whole night writing to Rihanna, you know, I wanted to get it right without it sounding too creepy, you know since it’s the internet and people don’t like meeting creepy dudes off the internet, especially poor, fat, creepy dudes from the internet, so I gotta put on my charm, so this is what I came up with:

Rihanna,

My love for you may not be real, since we’ve never met, but I have tried to jerk off to your music videos, with no real success, but the thought of you being a strong enough woman to take a serious beating turns me the fuck on. Not that that matters, you know, Keri Hilson says that love can knock you down, but you prove that love with Chris Brown doesn’t. You inspire me to get off my couch and walk to the kitchen and get a glass of water, instead of vodka. You are the only drug I need.

Hit me up on my 2 way,

Love

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

I am not too good at this whole love letter shit, I am not good at expressing myself when it comes to my emotions, I tend to always say the wrong thing, and I know that Rihanna and I will never be, but I’ll just keep her in my heart and use thoughts of what could have been, to inspire me to be a better person….

Here she is partying like a single whore lookin’ for some new rebound cock to get over her whole love bullshit.

Here’s the Video….

Posted in:Parties|Rihanna

2009

27

Mar

Some Kim Kardashian Fat Chick Tits of the Day

Unlike Lily Allen, Kim Kardashian does fat right, sure she’s not the hottest girl out there and looks a bit like a man, or something that I haven’t quite figured out, but you gotta give the girl some respect, she manages to suck down all the donuts, ice cream, candy, chips, chocolate, cake, carbs, fried chicken her lazy, slacking, rich piece of shit can, and it just seems to end up in the right places, tricking dudes into thinking she’s a big titty, big booty, curvy goddess, leading to her making more money, ending up a cover girl, all while just being a fat pig of a girl optical illusion. The kind of optical illusion fat girls I see at fast food joints would really appreciate if they took 5 minutes off of their emotional eating….

Either way, here are her big ol’ titties.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Tits

2009

27

Mar

Megan Fox in Some Shorts of the Day

Megan Fox was out wearing shorts the other day and virgins everywhere got excited about the shit because they think she’s the hottest piece of ass in Hollywood. They think she’s got it all going on especially since she was in their favorite movie of all time, the Transformers, shit, they were waiting for that movie to come out since the 80s and it finally did, and this whore was in it, it’s like they were meant to be, at least that’s how it plays out in their fantasies, when they save her from world domination in some spacesuit they invented in their mom’s basement, because of those tits, just look at those tits….

I don’t mean to objectify the girl of your dreams but I just can’t help it, all girls are just a series of vaginas and breasts and assholes, but I don’t know what it is about Megan Fox that I just can’t get into, I think I’m the kind of guy who can’t find a bitch hot when I find out just how fucking retarded she is, and I just can’t respect anyone who fucks Brian Austin Green and I feel bad for the virgins out there who are or who have ever been envious of that motherfucker, but not as disappointed as I feel for the pussy he feeds his dick to.

Posted in:Megan Fox|Shorts|Tits

2009

27

Mar

Amelle Berrabah from the Sugababes Shows Off Her Nipples of the Day

Who the fuck are the Sugababes. I assume they are some bullshit band that I am forced to listen to on the radio now that Virgin has taken over our local shitty radio station, that my wife insists on listening to, even though they play all this garbage that I’ve never heard of and that has a really good reason for not being popular here, like the fact that it fucking sucks, but unfortunately, they target women and last time I checked, my wife is a woman, not that I check that often, but sometimes, and by sometimes I mean always, the level of sexual attraction is so fucking low, that I need to remind myself she owns a pussy, and not the kind you own, you know locked in your bed side table drawer that is handmade out of random household objects and coldcuts, but a real live pussy, just to confuse me about whether I still like women or not, which it turns out that I do. Hey Ladies.

Either way, this is one of the whores from the shitty band in some see through shirt.

Posted in:Amelle Berrabah|Nippples|See Through|Sugababes

2009

27

Mar

Courtney Cox Flashes Her Panties on Set of the Day

Courtney Cox was running around on the set of some show she is starring in called “Friends The Single and HormonalYears” or some shit. She flashed some panty and that’s where the story ends. I guess you’d want me to tell my story about the 80s, when I first started discovering my sexuality and spent a solid week jerking off in a pair of my foster mother’s dirty panties, that were usually white, a little stained, and made my dick look awesome, but I’m not going to bother, because it’s just weird.

Posted in:Courtney Cox|Panty Flash

2009

27

Mar

Some Britney Spears Ass Picture from Twitter of the Day

Britney Spears posted this picture of her ass on Twitter and by Britney Spears I mean one of her staff memebers who pretends to be here, because the last thing Britney tried to use a computer, it ended up in her deep fryer and eater, because that’s what southern pigs do, they eat shit they deep fry. Sure that may not make sense, maybe I should tell a story about a mom of two who got on stage without pants on at my local strip club, because she’s trying to put food on the table, unfortunately, they couldn’t photoshop retouch her live, because her shit wasn’t this smooth and put together, in fact, her vagina looked more like a scaled down, fleshy garbage truck and kinda smelled the same. I still paid her 10 dollars to touch the tits, but only because she promised to squirt me with lactation, which leads me to ask, can you get AIDS from breast milk?

Posted in:Ass|Britney Spears|Twitter

2009

27

Mar

Lily Allen in Concert of the Day

What’s that you’re saying? Lily Allen’s too fat to wear that outfit. Yep. She’s also too fat to have such small tits. Here she is performing. I could tell stories about fucking fat chicks with no tits, but they were all breast cancer survivors and there’s no humor in that.

Posted in:Concert|Lily Allen

2009

26

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

This Mischa Barton date hasn’t worked out too well. Seems like she’s a bit of a snob. I guess I didn’t really try to stalk her hard enough, I mean that would require leaving my shitty house and I don’t think I’m down for that, but if anyone of you are her Publicist, let her know we can film a sex tape or something, a really bad bad sex tape, oh right…her publicist dropped her…oh well…at least I’ll always have my stepLINKS…..and here they are….


You’re As Big An Animal As I Am
GO

Holy Shit!! Little Alfie is NOT the Father!
GO

Why is British Television so Amazing
GO

GO

The Top Ten Toys From the 80’s
GO

Jaime Hammer Looks Good in Stripes
GO

A World Without an Asshole Gordan Ramsey Is Not a World I Want to Live In
GO

It’s So Good, You’ll Forget They Are in Bikinis!!
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Tera Has Tits to Die Fors
GO

Rebecca Simonsson is the Swedish Girl We All Fantasize About.
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Diddy Only Likes Light Skinned Broads Cause He is Racist
GO

Natalie Portman May Well Be Fucking Spicoli
GO

German Maxim Loves the Old Britney Spears
GO

And THERE’S a Catherine Zeta Jones Panty Flash
GO

Call Me Crazy, But For Once Audrina Patridge Isn’t Making Me Want to Puke
GO

For Fuck Sakes Pam Anderson, Put a Bag Over Your Fucking Head
GO

Scarlett Johansson is Getting SKinnier By the Day
GO

I Love You Allessandra Ambrosio
GO

Lap Dance on a Dating Show – VIDEO
GO

And That’s What Happens When You Get Caught Cheating
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Madonna is Buying Another Baby
GO

Bree Lynn in the Great Outdoors
GO

Vicky Blows is in Loadeds
GO

I Wanna Be All Over Zeina Heart
GO

Being High Grant is Pretty Amazing
GO

Rachel Stevens Gallery
GO

Brianna Frost Pierced
GO

Something Smells Fishy in Jersey
GO

Who is Christina Stefanidi?
GO

I Wanna Grab Nina Roxannes Pig Tails
GO

Ray J Sure Does Love Him a Cougar
GO

No Shit, It’s a Fucking CLOAKING DEVICE
GO

Maybe Being a Cop Isn’t All Bad
GO

Heather Plays With Herself
GO

Katrina Darell is Just Plain Slutty
GO

Maybe Jaime Lynn Spears Sin’t Completely Retarded
GO

Ang Lee (Yes THAT Ang Lee) is Directing a Comedy, and Apparently its Hilarious
GO

Some Hot Interview With Superstar Pornstar Sasha Grey
GO

Hottest Student Bodies 2009: The 50 Best Colleges Ranked By Looks
GO

Some Dirty Orgnaic Food Viral….
GO

Amputee Hooker – Nice….
GO

BONUS VIDEO – 101 Sex Positions from Some FHM Sluts….

Find Me on Other Parts of the Internet….Even Though It’s Not Workin Out So Well for Me…But Nothing Ever Really Does…


Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

26

Mar

Padma from Top Chef Erotic Burger Ad of the Day

I don’t watch TV, so I don’t know what this Top Chef shit is, but I wish I did, because the girl who hosts it is pretty fucking hot. Her name is Padma Lakshmi, nice and ethnic, the kind of ethnic who is happy to bang people like me all because of dreams of citizenship.

Unfortunately, we’re a little too late on this one, but there are millions more out there, because Padma’s no longer the little girl in the small village that has no running water but she has made it. But I guess that romantic relationship she had with the Hamburger because it represented freedom and the American Dream to her hasn’t died out, it is still part of her core, and here she is in a pretty erotic ad for Hardee’s Western Bacon Thickburger, giving it back to what inspired her to get here and I’ll tell you that it’s much hotter than when my wife downs a burger or three….

Posted in:Padma Lakshmi|Sex|Top Chef