2009
23
Feb
I want to fuck John Legend’s girlfriend. I don’t know who she is. She looks Asian, but she may be some kind of mix breed, because she’s more brown than yellow, but none of that matters, I’ll let her pick my rice any day, and by pick my rice I do mean jerk me off, because my dick’s about that big…..It’s sad, but I’ve come to terms with it.
Either way, someone ID this bitch.
Posted in:Girlfriend|John Legend
2009
23
Feb
Who says cancer can’t be fun. This tanned Jane Goody girl has terminal cancer with weeks to live. She still manages to have a good time with friends as she gets ready to marry one of her UK reality show costar boyfriend who is currently in jail because of beating someone down. What he doesn’t know is that her cancer is a trap to lock him in, because the last time I saw someone with weeks to live, they looked like a skeleton and not someone who’s forehead I want to climax all over. That said. I hope Jane Goody survives she looks too fun to die.
Posted in:Cancer|Jane Goody
2009
23
Feb
I was watching some reruns of 90210 as I do every weekend to try to reconnect with my past and tap into some new creative energy that only comes from it’s inspirational scripts and acting.
I couldn’t help but wonder, while I watched Brandon help a homeless dessert storm vet on the beach by offering him some work, despite Andrea’s advising him not to, and Brenda was out cheating on Dylan in Paris while pretending to be a native french girl, which was okay because he was kissing up with Kelly and David and his flipped hair were trying to launch his music career by working out a management deal with Steve, how this garbage ever made it on TV and how someone who was on it gets to fuck this girl.
If you’re wondering why I was watching this, I was at a friends house and it was a big part of the reason I ended up getting so drunk that I don’t remember what happened,
2009
23
Feb
If you look at Amanda Bynes from the front she is cute, but they you see her from the side, she looks fucking retarded.
Don’t get me wrong, retarded can be cute, I mean pretty much every single girl I’ve ever fucked has been at least semi-retarded, which in my defense was because I worked at a retard home, and they were pretty easy, especially when they were sleeping medicated and unable to speak more than a few grunts and screams, but this isn’t about that.
It’s about Amanda Bynes and her chipmunk face, is she on steroid treatment for some disorder? Was she beat the fuck up like she was Rihanna? I just don’t really get it, but at least she never wears pants because I guess someone told her she had good legs and she went home and fucking burnt every pair pants she owned because it felt good to be complimented and now she only feels comfortable wearing short fucking skirts in public to show them legs off and distract us from that face. Here she is in white.
I was wrong…She Does Own Pants…And She Looks a Hell of A Lot More Retarded in the Face When She Does Cuz I Don’t Have Upper Thighs to Distract Myself With….
Posted in:Amanda Bynes|Legs|Retarded
2009
23
Feb
Here’s an over glorified American Apparel model, also known as Mischa Barton, hanging onto her career as hard as she can cause her management or PR people dropped her and she needs to survive by taking off her clothes…the way I like it.
What I don’t like is this fucking hipster trash, it’s taking over the mainstream, it is everywhere I fucking look, from Lady Gaga to fucking Sharon Stone. There are so many insecure fuckers, trying to be on top of the latest fashion craze or music craze all while sucking up to each other and reassuring each other that being as annoying and outrageous as possible will help people forget that 2 years ago they were listening to Britney Spears and wearing The Gap and Juicy Couture like they were Paris Hilton, because at the time it was the cool thing to do. Fucking shapeshifting assholes.
It is all so fucking contrived, but I guess all it takes is sucking up or sucking off to be make it in the world, so get fucking cracking cause I made the mistake of telling everyone to fuck themselves and I sleep on a shit stained box spring, not a life I’d recommend for anyone.
Bonus that’s not really a bonus, DJ AM’s social climbing record carrying, unattractive whore of a girlfriend is an American Apparel Model because she’s not hot enough to be a real model and here she is leaving some exclusive party he DJed at and she got into because she’s fucking him, when otherwise she’d be drinking pitchers of beer with kids in skinny jeans and flannel shirts as they count their trust fund change to buy some blow or some shit…
Posted in:American Apparel|FHM|Hipster|Mischa Barton
2009
23
Feb
I have this theory that Jessica Alba couldn’t deal with the rejection of being ditched by Cash Warren back when he escaped her crazy, so she tricked him into knocking her up. Whether she poked holes in the condom, or ran to find the used condom and inserted it inside out are details we’ll never know, but despite his efforts to no get her pregnant, he failed and she won.
The only issue is that now that the baby has come, it means a lot of fucking responsibility that this cunt wasn’t ready for so she pawned it off on her staff and mother and a couple of wet nurses and the proof of this theory are her deflated titties, there’s no way a milkin mom would be this flat unless she sprung a leak.
I know some of you are fans, so here are her pics from God knows where, but I assume something that has to do with Oscar because like an annoying relative visiting from out of town, they takeover Hollywood and don’t know how to fuck off.
Bonus – Here She Is Acknowledging the Paparazzi Because Her Life is Like a Fairy Tale…
Posted in:Jessica Alba|Mom Tits
2009
23
Feb
Lookin’ Good Sweetheart. I have a pretty strong stomach. I don’t ever throw up, I don’t get grossed out, I even watched 1 Guy, 1 Cup where the motherfucker’s asshole exploded into a bloody mess and I wasn’t phased. But for some reason, this shit made my stomach turn. I guess I just hairy faced menopausal bitches
BONUS – Here’s a Video of Madonna’s Driver Going Nuts on the Paparazzi
2009
23
Feb
I have spent my fair share of time depressed, out of work, hungover and forced to watch Soap Operas because I had nothing else to do with my time and it was the only channel I got on TV. I always hated them and never really got into their complex story lines, but I was always drawn to the fact that they were pornos for housewives, you know written like a drugstore romance novel, with passionate suggestive love scenes, bad acting, bad sets, bad story lines, bad dialog, and the thought of thousands of mom’s jerking off when their kids were at school, or grandmas jerking off when their husbands were dead, everyday to the same fucking shows I was watching was enough to get me off.
Here’s some legendary soap star, Susan Lucci showing off her old body in a bikini this past weekend for those of you who were unemployed bums at some point in your life and have already cum to her cleavage on TV.
Posted in:Bikini|old|Susan Lucci
2009
23
Feb
Like all whores, supermodels like the attention they get. They like being told how beautiful they are and they like being paid huge amounts of money to just have their picture taken. They like knowing that guys everywhere want to fuck them and they get the same feeling any stripper or high class escort gets every time they end up working for someone rich and who will seemingly sweep them off their feet and offer them a better life. I’ve seen Pretty Woman, I know how it is…
The point is that these model chicks like getting totally naked for the sake of Art and Fashion while getting paid, without really coming to terms with the fact that all they are doing is being fucking sluts and all that’s going to happen to these pictures is that they will end up in some perverts hands and jerked off to, like they were nothing but a common amateur pornstar or the girl who hangs at your local bar that every drunken homeless person has passed around and I like contributing to making that happen.
Posted in:Doutzen Kroes|Magazine|Naked
2009
23
Feb
Ed Hardy threw some party around the Oscars that top notch celebrities attended. They posed with some ATV, tried on some obnoxious clothing and the whole thing looked like a horrible fucking time. Shauna Sand was pretty courteous and rocked a pair of panties when mounting that seat and rubbing her box up against it, knowing other girls would be grinding their cunts on it too, which is a nice change from all the STDs she’s transmitted in the past. I guess it’s never too late to learn.
Also in attendance were The Internet’s Most Downloaded Woman according to her…because I highly doubt that claim to fame is true….Cindy Margolis
And Annalynne McCord brought out her Monkey Lookin’ Face and Her Siblings Out…
Posted in:Ed Hardy|Panties|Shauna Sand
