I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

11

May

Amy Fisher’s Tits to Exxxotica in Miami of the Day

Remember the Amy Fisher/Joey Buttafuoco story from the 90s, where he was banging her at 16 when she was in her prime and she couldn’t deal with the fact that he was married, so she shot his bitch wife in the head and got charged with assault, making every man who hates his wife, including myself, realize there is a way out and that way is with hot young pussy.

She spent close to a decade in jail, only to come out and launch a porn career years after she really should have, but I guess in support of girls who let me watch them fuck other dudes in video, I can’t hate on it, even if it took a little too long to happen by my standards.

She was at the Exxxotica bullshit event in Miami this past weekend, the same one who didn’t email me an invitation, and she hosted some Mother’s Day MILF competition with a couple of paid hookers/models to make it look like real MILF’s signed up to compete, because Exxxotica are fucking scam artists who manipulate the truth for overall effect..and here are the pics.

Posted in:Amy Fisher|Exxxotica Miami|Porn|Tits

2009

11

May

Audrina’s Fake Titties in a White Dress of the Day

Audrina may be useless, but her tits aren’t. Here are some pictures of them holding up a dress for Mother’s Day and her birthday. I wonder what else they can do. I am thinking act as a pretty good punching bag that I’d like to take out all my rage on, hopefully leaving her passed out in the gutter, naked and crying, or maybe as a nice landing pad for my cum after I’m done hate fucking her. I know I have nothing really interesting to say about her, but that’s because there’s nothing interesting about her and all I’m left with is frustration about why I’m not Audrina Patridge and no matter how long I close my eyes wishing that I was, I always see the same disgusting reflection in the mirror. So if anything, maybe Audrina isn’t useless, because she’s succeeded at making me hate myself more than I already do. Happy Fucking Birthday, Cunt.

Here is the video of her and her fake tits…..

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Fake Tits|Implants

2009

11

May

Adriana Lima’s Tits Pose with Perfume of the Day

Someone told me that Adriana Lima is pregnant. That’s okay, I had no real chance with her anyway. I like to think it’s gotta do with the language barrier, or with the fact that our people and their people just don’t get along, but the truth is that I’m probably not her type, and let’s be real, I’ve never crossed paths with her, so it was obviously not meant to be. Plus she’s too fuckin’ religious and boring. I like my models and celebrities addicted to sex, drugs and the party, not addicted to Jesus. Sure, the whole virgin from Brazil because of her deep passion for the Catholic church was kinda hot in theory, but not as hot as her tits. Here she is promoting some bullshit for her keepers at Victoria Secret, you know, because they own her.

Posted in:Adriana Lima|Perfume|Tits

2009

11

May

Kim Kardashian on TV Gets Called Fat of the Day

Kim Kardashian was on some LA morning talk show to promote her bullshit workout DVD because she is fat and has no business telling girls how to maintain their bodies, unless of course this is all some corporate scam that McDonald’s in behind where they try to get people even more obese that they already are, but I doubt that is the case.

The highlight of the video is not seeing Kardashian doing her stupid commonly used exercises, but when the newscaster says that she doesn’t have an anorexic body and you see the pain in her eyes from the gentle dis.

Either way, watch it.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian

2009

11

May

Padma Lakshmi’s Nipple and Scar of the Day

Here’s that Padma chick from TV rockin’ a sheer dress. I don’t really know what’s going on but can’t help focusing on her scar. I remember hearing about people who were into medical injuries sexually and I never really got it, shit just reminds me of a sewed up vagina in the wrong place on her body, and sewed up vagina, although hot in theory, you know like unwrapping a christmas gift before gettin’ down to business, like a tightly wrapped treat needed to be disassembled before fully being enjoyed, is pretty fuckin’ disgusting in reality.

I wonder how she got it. Was she in a knife fight on the streets of Mumbai, or maybe she was a terrorist who was tortured for information, or a spy who was held hostage and escaped by sacrificing her arm, what I do know is that if this is a tennis injury, I’ll be pretty fucking disappointed.

Here are her nipples….

Posted in:Nipple|Padma Lakshmi|Scar

2009

11

May

Jessica Simpson’s Tits Perform of the Day

Jessica Simpson and I have a very one-sided relationship. She posts shit on twitter. I write back. She doesn’t answer. Which is really nothing I’m not used to. I figured a huge percentage of the girls I have come across in my life have ignored me but that never stopped me from following them home, climbing up their fire escape and jerking off to them sleeping.

Here she is showing off some tit in concert, because when tits are all you have going for you, you better rock a low-cut shirt every chance you get, because tits are like some optical illusion that make us think you’ve got a purpose, at least one deeper rooted than being your father’s personal little fuckslut he made with his own cum and brought-up his own fuckin’ way, training her from a young age all the little tricks he likes. You know how it is.

Now – Let’s send this link to Jessica Simpson over twitter, and see if she blocks me.

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|Perform|Tits

2009

11

May

Katie Price’Short Skirt Panty Flash of the Day

We’ve seen all Katie Price’s vagina has to offer, from a threesome with some dude and a lesbian sex tape to her retarded black baby, I just don’t think there’s much more she can bring, unless she rents her retarded black baby out, but that’s just because I got on a kick earlier this weekend that revolved around having a retard sidekick and using it as the fall guy in any pranks or sexual harrassment you do, you know, grab unsuspecting tits – blame the retard, take a shit on the city bus, blame the retard, it’d be my fuckin’ meal ticket, I just can’t manage to find anywhere you can adopt a retard, because I always see golden opportunity is seemingly defective, discount bargain basement bin things…I’m poor like that.

Here she is flashing some panty, showing off some retarded tits, while makin’ more money than any of us will ever make, yes, it is just that easy….and I find her pretty fuckin’ hot today. Maybe I am just horny…

Posted in:Katie Price|Panty Flash|Short Skirt

2009

11

May

Exxxotica Miami In Picture of the Day

Exxotica is some Porn conference that goes down twice a year. They don’t have me on their mailing list. They don’t email me inviting to join their festivities. They don’t acknowledge my existence. But I am okay with that, because I wouldn’t have gone if I was invited. What I do know is that the paparazzi raped the fucking event and I have all the pictures, so again, I get to live vicariously through the internet from the comfort of my own couch.

Either way, here’s some further proof that pornstars don’t have to be pretty to be pornstars, they just have to be willing to fuck on camera.

And on a sidenote, Fuck You Exxxotica Miami 2009 for suckin’ dick harder than your attendees.

Posted in:Exxxotica Miami|Pictures|Porn Conference

2009

11

May

Jamie Lynn Siglier Spandex Ass of the Day

This post is dedicated to any of you who used to jerk off to Meadow on the Sopranos or who still jerk off to the DVDs, because you’re probably wondering where she is now, since she hasn’t done much or really anything since then.

She pretty much disappeared off the planet, so I guess if anything, this is just ruining your fantasies about her by showing you that she’s a 28 year old and not 16 anymore, because ruining masturbation fantasies is part of what I do.

The real issue at hand is really why you would be jerking off to your Sopranos DVDs, if anything, it’s just fuckin’ weird, and you need to move the fuck on.

If you’re wondering why this post is garbage, it is because I tried playing off a joke that a motherfuckers jerk off to Meadow on the Sopranos DVDs, because I had the pictures uploaded, and nothing else to work with, but the chances anyone jerks off to Meadow on the Sopranos DVDs are slim to fuckin none, and if there is a motherfucker who does jerk off to her still, he’s the kind of guy who is hung up on the past, who cuts out all her pictures and tapes them to the walls of his one room apartment and who writes poems to her every night in hopes that one day she will answer me and sweep me out of this hell I live and bring me the good life like the angel I know she is…..I mean… here are some pictures of her in some spandex short pants.

Posted in:Ass|Jamie Lynn Siglier|Spandex

2009

11

May

Jessica Biel’s Nude Scene from Powder Blue of the Day

I didn’t watch this full clip. No, I am not gay, I figure anyone who can get off to this girl could be be, but then again just because she’s rock fuckin’ hard, doesn’t negate that fact that she does have a vagina, so I guess I shouldn’t hate so much.

I just have no real interest in watching shitty staged stripper scenes by a hungry actor who is trying to stay relevant, you know, years after the stint on some shitty WB religious show that made her famous in the first place ended.

Getting naked for a role in a movie that is going straight to DVD is a bad fucking sign of where things are going for you, but then again I’ve seen a few actors pull out of the gutter after being involved in pure shit naked roles, so it may not be over for her, especially if she manages to get Timberlake to marry her, in which case, she’ll be set for life and always in the paparazzi eye.

So maybe this is just the nail in the coffin she needs to do what really matters and that’s poke holes in the condoms, skip her pill, and make Timberlake stick it in her vagina for a change, despite how gross he finds vagina, to trick the motherfucker into getting her pregnant. It’s really the only intelligent retirement plan, since her career is HIV Positive.

Posted in:Jessica Biel|Nude Scene|Powder Blue