I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

16

Feb

Chris Brown’s Father’s House of the Day

If my son was some popstar who made a lot of money, even if he was my illegitimate that I was ashamed of for taking on a career as a light on his feet dancing like a pansy and not following the family tradition of working in a factory or a career in sports like a real man, even if I ran out on the family because they were too much work and effort and got in the way of drinking, even if I didn’t know he existed by had seen him on TV, you could be pretty much guaranteed, I wouldn’t be living in this fucking dump. Shit looks like a fucking double-wide trailer and sure that’s okay for some people, but not people who’s sons are famous enough to beat the fuck out of Rihanna. Seriously, I was lookin up property in Virginia or wherever the fuck they live and you can pick something like this up for 15 dollars and a carton of fucking cigarettes. Maybe Chris Brown should be spending less time renting lamborghini’s to kill girlfriend’s in and more time renting his pa something a little better than a modern version of the shanty’s the slaves on the plantation used to live in.

Posted in:Chris Brown|Father|House

2009

16

Feb

The New Lady Gaga Video of the Day

Now anyone who reads this site knows that I hate Lady Gaga and unlike my Lily Allen inconsistency that started earlier today, the hatred for Lady Gaga still burns strong. I don’t really let it affect my everyday life, you know that’d be fucking strange, but anytime her music comes on, I do manage to randomly start smashing my face into the closest brick wall.

Sure, she can sing better than most people, but she still pisses me off, mainly because she’s ugly and sings about sex.

Now I don’t hate all ugly girls, I just like when they know their place. You know, feel insecure and go above and beyond to get you to like them because every other guy has fucked them over and not take all the cock you’ve had and channel that into thinking they actually wanted to fuck you because you’re a godness, when really they fucked you cuz you had a vagina and last time I checked, vagina is better than jerking off. So now she makes slutty sex charged music and dressing half naked, making me unable to imagine her covered up and behind a mask like I’d like to think whenever her song hits every 10 minutes on the radio because I have already seen too much and can’t erase those things.

Posted in:Lady Gaga|Video

2009

16

Feb

Peaches Geldof and Her Unfortunate Topless Beach Pictures of the Day

I’ve written about this UK socialite slag before. She’s Bob Gedof’s 19 year old daughter, her half sister is that INXS dude who hung himself jerking off’s daughter. She’s a typical rich girl who craves attention by pulling stupid stunts, like getting married in August and proving her love with his named tattooed on her hand, only to announce last week that they are splitting up, or for being a partying drug addict slut to feed the pain that is having unstable parents who were too busy caring about themselves than to care about her, or because of whatever it is that motivates these rich kids to get high and cause scenes.

I hear that seeing her topless on the beach is not that big a deal as she’s always naked amongst friends, which is a great tragedy, because she’s fat. You’d think all that coke would do some good for her, or all that money could hire her dumpy ass a fuckin personal trainer instead of a tattoo artist to stain her sloppy body she thinks she’s turning into a piece of art, but that is more reminiscent of a bathroom stall at a shady bar that even I’m scared to touch or pee in for fear of disease.

Posted in:Fat|Peaches Geldof|Pig|Rich Kid|Topless

2009

16

Feb

Lily Allen and Her Panty Flash of the Day

I am a hypocrite. I am inconsistent. I am full of shit. I’ve been making fun of Lily Allen the last 2 years for no reason other than it being easy because she’s foreign.

I’ve acted passionate about having this hatred for her that I never really had, truthfully, like all things in my life, I was pretty indifferent, but if you read my shit about her abortion/miscarriage and the other evil jokes I made about her, you’d think I had a picture of her on my living room floor that I’d shit on daily until the smell got too bad that I’d be forced to hunt her down, kidnap her, and make her clean it up with her mouth.

But I was never phased by her, so today when I saw these pictures of her showing off her stomach as if to say to the radio host that that is where the baby lived before it fell out of her (got sucked out of her) and these are where she’s been letting her pet ferret suckle because she has the urge to feed something and since the baby is no more, shit’s gone sour, like the Milk in my broken fridge that I drank anyway, so I can relate.

Maybe our connection is obesity and a love for food and drink, maybe there is no connection, maybe I do hate her but just got tricked by a clever interview I saw with her, maybe I like making fun of her, because I really just want to be her friend, at least for today today, but I do know that unlike everyone else, she writes her own music, is successful with her own music, and you can’t hate someone who’s successful for doin’ their own thing, their own way and who clearly doesn’t take herself too seriously and can laugh and enjoy the ride, which is al lot more than you can say for these American celebrity cunts out there. I’m talking to you LOHAN and friends, not that Lohan has friends, but you know what I mean.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Panties|Uncategorized

2009

16

Feb

Fergie is On Valentine’s Day Vacation of the Day

Looks like Fergie went of vacation in some other country for Valentine’s Day shit because he’s in love. I know, it was just a couple years ago that the only love in her life was Crystal Meth before he broke her heart and left her face battered.

I guess she feels like her life isn’t enough of a vacation. I am not judging, because if I had the money I’d be on the beach laying in the sun and creeping on unsuspecting sluts too, I’d even encourage the locals to call me something like “Senor Sticks His Dick in Anything that Shows Up on the Beach and Gets too Sun Stroked to Resist” but since I am an asshole, I wouldn’t have a social responsibility to my fans to spend my money during the recession locally by vacationing within the country, not that I have fans, but you get what I’m saying, this $20,000 or more could have really helped some bed and breakfast in Vermont that is about to go bankrupt, but I guess in from her celebrity perch, she just doesn’t care about the people who buy her shit, but she does care about treating her leather face the way it deserves to be treated, like a fuckin’ saddle.

Posted in:Fergie|Vacation

2009

16

Feb

Some White Kids Fighting like Pussies of the Day

I saw this video of two of the whitest motherfuckers fighting it out and getting arrested at USC or some other university. Watch out for the clown with his gay gangster bandanas in his back pocket, after he gives you a pussy head but, I hear he is a master of devil sticks. There’s nothing like seeing a dude in North Face his mom bought him for the cold winter weather on Campus getting his hair pulled after an intense argument about economic policies, or which New York Times article they liked the best, or maybe even over some Noam Chomsky or whatever the fuck that dude who all college kids get hard for because they think it makes them more refined is named, that started in the classroom and ended up on the motherfucking street. Pussies.

I am surprised they aren’t wiping their eyes for tears after being so overwhelmed with emotion, you know with fear of daddy cutting off the allowance when they hear about the incident and try to sweep it under the rug so it doesn’t get back to their suburban golf buddies cuz that may be embarrassing.

White bread honky motherfuckers.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2009

14

Feb

Aubrey O’Day Playboy Scans of the Day


I haven’t bothered to check if these were posted anywhere else, but since the magazine is in stands it’s not really a leak or an exclusive, it just saves you 10 dollars and/or a lot of embarrassment of getting caught pulling a whack in the back of a magazine store…jack. Posting them today means we have til Monday before the asshole’s at Playboy, who email me constantly asking me to link to their shit for free, come knocking at my door saying that I breached some sort of copyright law by posting this shit when I just like to think I’m helpin’ sell magazines cuz these scans are fucking shit.

The point of this is to say that we all know you’re lookin’ for lonely desperate girls snd there’s only one place that will be a hot spot for that tonight and that’s at every movie theater playing “He’s Just Not That Into You”. So get up there now and start working your magic on bitter 20 somethings who’ve had a tough run and are alone this very magical day of love and lies.

Don’t tell me I don’t give you good advice. Happy Valentines Day you fucking queers.

Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|Playboy|Spread

2009

14

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I was sitting on a chair at a coffee shop earlier today and I swung my arm back, just as a girl was walking by and I ended up giving her the hardest cunt punch of all time, I am talking a cunt punch Chris Brown would respect, and when I told her I was sorry, she told me it wasn’t a big deal, she barely felt anything. Now I don’t know what was going on by my arm was fucking killing me so either I am a pussy or her pussy is dead.

Speaking of pussy, it’s the night before Valentine’s Day, all the single ladies won’t be waiting for you to put a ring on it, unless you mean put you’re dick in it. It is serious fucking business for horny dudes everywhere, cuz bitches feel inadequate and will lower themselves to sleep with you but just for tonight, so take advantage and slaughter that shit like Jason with his machete, because it is Friday the 13th after all and pussy is much better when it’s too sore to run away…

Here are my links….

I Know You’re Friday Night Won’t Be Half As Interesting As Mine
GO

Aubrey O’Day Gets Her Slut on With Hef
GO

10 Most Racist Moments on TV
GO

A Homemade Rocky Movie is Better Than The Real One
GO

Some Girl FUcking a Baseball Bat Cuz It is the American National Sport and She’s Keeping it Real By Treating Her Pussy Like the Whore it Is.
GO

Tracy Jordan is Amazing
GO

Amanda Bynes is Gift Wrapped Just For You
GO

Porn, What Is It Good For?
GO

Halle Berry May Have Ruined Her Vagina With a Baby, But she’s Still Okay With Me
GO

A Very Lucid Stimulous Package
GO

If Jaime Pressly Put a Bag Over Her Head, I Would Totally Fuck Her
GO

Just Plain Sexy
GO

Some Kid That Looks Like He’s Five Made a Baby Over in Britain
(seriously, Check This Out)
GO

The Octo-mom Wrote Angelina Jolie a Letter
GO

Hunting Amy Winehouse Video
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Pam Anderson Really is Trailer Trash
GO

I can’t Get Enough of This Aishwarya Rai
GO

Apparently Chris Brown Has Been Kicking Rhianna’s Ass For Awhile Now
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Lohan and Ronson Are Wasting Away
GO

Jana Jordan is Doing Laundry
GO

Biggest Deep Throat I’ve Ever Seen
GO

Britney Spears Makes a Fool Out of PEREZ HILTON for her Tour…AMAZING…This Guy is a Talentless Hack Holding the Fuck On While Being Laughed at By All, No Amount of Money in the World Would Make Me Do What He Does….
GO

Some Bartender Sluts….
GO

Hot Chicks Naked Sky Dive
GO

Lexi Belle And Her Little Friend
GO

Tourist Fights Back
GO

Eve Laurence is Busty
GO

The Gladiator Death Battle!s
GO

Why Hello Kate Bosworth!
GO

Nella and Zafira Are All Over Each Other
GO

How About a Mini Me?
GO

Meet Tori Praver
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

So THAT’S How Love Works!
GO

Secrets From the Carnies!
GO

Amy Reid does it Again
GO

Kristin Kreuk Is Sexy
GO

Tijuana Prostie Beatdown
GO

Cars Take Over the World, 1 Light Switch At a Time
GO

Show Your Tits or Die
GO

As If Gossip Girl Isn’t Bad Enough
GO

Not Again You Fucking Assholes
GO

G is for GANGSTA
GO

Some Vegas Bikini Whores…
GO

BONUS – stepCONTEST of the Day

Here’s a stepCONTEST I am not getting gaid to promote, but figured some of you may like the prize, so I am doing it for you….

This is an HBO Show called EASTBOUND AND DOWN contest…..here’s a clip….

The prize is:


Entourage 4th Season
Flight of the Concords 1st Season
Little Britain USA 1st Season

Email Me Nudes or Something I’ll Like and I’ll Decide who wins……info(at)drunkenstepfather.com

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

13

Feb

Goldie Hawn’s Grandma Tits of the Day

Since I am on this old slutty bitch’s with money kick, I figured it would only make sense to post these pictures of grandma Goldie Hawn and her sloppy saggy grandma tits in a see through dress, because I have a feeling this new fetish of mine is only going to last a minute, and because some of my fondest memories were spent peeping on my grandma getting ready for church, you thin grey arms and ridiculously large bra that scarred me for so many years, have finally found a place in my masturbation catalog.

That said, for those of you who aren’t feeling the whole sex with an old lady thing, I figure these pics can double as some Friday the 13th shit that horror movies and nightmares are made of, but I just think you’re being close minded….but then again if her tits aged this grcefully, and by gracefully, I mean shitty, just imagine what her pussy looks like…I’m thinking a monster, or rotting flesh or maybe even some sort of sea creature of some sort and none of that matters cuz here are the pics.

Posted in:cleavage|Goldie Hawn|Granny|Slut

2009

13

Feb

Some Hot Ivana Trump Vacation Pictures of the Day

Seeing a 65 year old multiple divorcee socialite on vacation with a random man just doesn’t do the same thing to me as seeing a hot young piece out being a slut on vacation.

I guess I am a racist against old ladies and couldn’t care less how many cocks their desert storm pussies explore or have explored because they are already disgusting to me and nothing they could do could turn me off as much as they already do.

The only thing that could redeem them in my mind is if they shot a sex tape that starts when one of these fuckers is getting their soiled depends changed by the other one, and out come the dentures and in goes the half hard dying cock, but that’s just because it’d be funny.

Either way, here she is on vacation, maybe I should give old ladies more love, especially the financially stable ones…

Posted in:Ivana Trump|Shorts|Slut|Vacation