DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2009

21

Apr

Single Mom Sexy Dance For Her Kids of the Day

I am sure chicks do this on purpose because the shit gets more play than when they don’t film themselves doing their stripper routine with their kids in the fucking room, holding the camera badly, and watching momma show off how she pays for all those bags of chips, take-out and the widescreen TV. It’s inappropriately amazing and I wish the single mom’s pulled this shit at the strip club, you know breast feeding their needy kids between stage dances, so you really know where your 10 dollars is going….In her defense, I’ve seen Jamaican dancehall dancing, and maybe being half naked and simulating sex is a cultural thing, I ain’t judgin, I’m just wishing my momma did this kinda thing for me when I was growin’ up, cuz I am a pervert and because I always wanted to be an internet video supporting actor.

Posted in:Mom|Stripper Dance

2009

21

Apr

Lily Allen Looks Hot of the Day

2 Comments »

I was almost going to say that Lily Allen looks hot, not because I was trying to be clever and she’s walking around in a blanket, like the time I thought it’d be funny to wear a full ski suit to a picnic at the park so that people would think I was crazy and give me free food, but because she’s coverin’ up that busted face, but then I realized I can still see her short, think, heavily downloaded legs and I’m not really able to see past that. This bitch needs to put a picture of her friend Lindsay Lohan on her fridge and get thinspired, she’s trying to be famous and obesity may have worked for Oprah, Rosie, Roseanne, that bitch in what’s eating Gilbert Grape, Lily Allen to date, John Goodman and probably a lot of other people, but I never jerked off to any of them on a regular basis and I figure real success people should be looking for is directly tied into what I jerk off to.

On a sidenote, I was teasing her on twitter today, this is what I said…not that you care…and either does she, cuz I didn’t get an answer….

@lilyroseallen please don’t take your clothes off cuz you’re shameless and that’s what it takes to get famous. I am not ready for that vag.

@lilyroseallen oh shit – i forgot – @perezhilton already posted your pussy. I guess to make his bisexual readers take the gay plunge.?

Yes, my site is about following useless, unattractive popstars I hate today.

Posted in:Hot|Lily Allen

2009

21

Apr

Brooke Hogan Does a Video Shoot in Her Bikini of the Day

9 Comments »

So Brooke Hogan was out filming a video for what I assume is her new album and that’s a perfect example of why having a trashy uneducated father with a lot of money comes in handy. The reason I threw in uneducated, is because the rich kids I’ve met over the years who have parents who aren’t ex-wrestlers/glorified stripclub bouncers, get forced into college when they throw out genius ideas like how they want to be the next Britney Spears, where people like Hulk Hogan, who are blinded by the fact that he thinks his daughter is the best out there, and the guilt from stickin’ his dick in her one night, that he can’t say no, and instead spends what he’d spend on a year of tuition on cutting her album and filming her video where she gets half naked, cuz Hulk and his years of stripclub bouncing knows guy want to get their money worth, especially when it is his money, and like a lap dance, that he’s just flushing down the fucking toilet, because this Khloe Kardashian version of Paris Hilton is going nowhere.

That said, to put things into persepective, her boyfriend who you’d think is a little weasel motherfucker in these pics, is actually 6 foot 2 and 190 pounds….I guess she’s the top. Enjoy. Weirdo.

Posted in:Bikini|Brooke Hogan|Video

2009

21

Apr

Lady Gaga Does Coldplay of the Day

2 Comments »

I am continuing my Gaga hate watch and this time it is her in concert on her piano doing the Coldplay Viva La Vida song. I used to give her some credit about her singing, I used to say the face of an accident victim and a voice of an angel, but her voice isn’t even as good as I originally expected. She may have the same level of sex appeal as Susan Boyle, but she doesn’t have her talent.

Either way scroll through to 3:30 and listen to her drag queen swag that pisses me the fuck off everytime I hear it. Speak like a normal person you fucking piece of shit clown.

Now I’ll get to posting bitches you wanna fuck, just give me a minute.

Lady Gaga, Coldplay
Lady Gaga Does Coldplay of the Day

I am continuing my Gaga hate watch and this time it is her in concert on her piano doing the Coldplay Viva La Vida song. I used to give her some credit about her singing, I used to say the face of an accident victim and a voice of an angel, but her voice isn’t even as good as I originally expected. She may have the same level of sex appeal as Susan Boyle, but she doesn’t have her talent.

Either way scroll through to 3:30 and listen to her drag queen swag that pisses me the fuck off everytime I hear it. Speak like a normal person you fucking piece of shit clown.

Now I’ll get to posting bitches you wanna fuck, just give me a minute.

Here’s Gaga being fucking lame in the UK….Check Out the Fatty in the See THrough Shirt….Not the Fatty in the Umbrella-ella-ella-eh shirt….Why is she doin the whole hanging with fat chick thing…or right…cuz she’s fat and they are fatter…that makes her feel skinny…I get it…she’s so obvious….

Posted in:Coldplay|Lady Gaga

2009

21

Apr

Chester French Album Drops Today of the Day

4 Comments »

I started following one of the members of Chester French a month ago not knowing who they were, but all these rappers kept responding to them and figured they must do something interesting, because you know rappers are always knee deep in interesting shit, like drugs, money and women.

Eventually, I figured out they were in a band on tour with Gaga. That’s when I started buggin’ out on them over the internet, trying to get access to Gaga in hopes of grabbing her crotch to see if there was what I expected there to be, if you know what I mean.

They never answered, so I ended up sneaking into the show, and after the show, after getting totally fucking wasted, I was out on the street paying a bum 2 dollars to show me his cock and these two guys walked by me laughing. We got to talking, they were in Chester French, I told them I was bugging them on twitter, we hugged it out and it was the start of a long lasting friendship that I expect will get me invited to their rockstar weddings and mansion parties, maybe get invited on tour or at least get some sloppy groupies no one wants, and if they don’t want me on tour with them, maybe a couple topless /nude pics of their whore rich girl fans. Even though they seem too decent for that.

They launched their album today. I predict it’ll be huge, they are getting tons of love and doing things right and I wish them all the success they deserve and hope you click through and get yourself a copy, since what they are offering is pretty fucking reasonible you bootleg pirate motherfucker.

Get Their Fucking Album, It is Going to Be Huge….
GO

BONUS – Here’s their Video

Posted in:Album|Chester French|Drop

2009

21

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

No Comments »

Fuck – I forgot to do my links. My friend got the ALF season 1 DVDs and I’ve been pretty absorbed in the shit becuase it is amazing. I now know found something worth living for. We are 14 episodes in, 10 more to go, blame 420, even though I hate 420 talk and it’s not ever 420 anymore, so maybe you should just blame me liking being fucked up.

Follow Me On Twiiter Cuz It Is Fun
GO

Here are my links…hope I’m not too late sweethearts…

Spend Your Time Wisely
GO

Brooke Hogan Hides HEr Dick For a Minute
GO

Welcome to Jones BBQ and Foot Massage
GO

Is This Asian Scam-Artist Sexy Enough To Fuck?
GO

How About Some Hooter Cash Wash Girls?
GO

Twitter This, You Fucking Twat
GO

Border Patrol!!
GO

Sneezing in Slow Motion is Kind of Disgusting
GO

The TV Edit Of Snakes On A Plane Is Better Than The Original
GO

Some Leaked Footage From the New Halloween Movie
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Don’t Worry, Watching This Won’t Make You a Homo
You All Ready Are a Homo
GO

WTF Happened to Rupert Everett’s Face?!
GO

Lauren Pope Panty Upskirt
GO

Teri Hatcher Kind of Freaks Me the Fuck Out
GO

Jessica Alba Mom Jeans
GO

Alright I Admit It, Those Assholes at Macs Have Amused Me
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Alona is Awesome
GO

Death Wish Defined Here
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Adie Rides a Big Toy
GO

Bikini Belly Flop HaHa HA
GO

Bikini Aerobics Good Times
GO

Kate Hudson Bikini Shots Do Wonders
GO

All Aboard the UK Babe Boat
GO

Adrienne is One Hot Babe
GO

Fuck You Dita Von Tease
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

A Day at the Beach With Sandee Summers
GO

Lindsay Lohan So Wants the Peen Again
GO

It’s 2:30 AM. Do You Know Where Your Mother Is?
GO

Cheerleaders in Slow Motion
GO

Sexual Predator on the Bus, No Biggie
GO

Everybody Hates Miss California
GO

All Your Fave TV Shows Are Being Cancelled
GO

Dancers of the 2009 NBA Playoffs
GO

Twincest Anyone?
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

20

Apr

Reese Witherspoon Does Some Softball Training of the Day

2 Comments »

This one is for the dudes who don’t want to admit they like dudes. You know the kind of guy who spends their weekends watching baseball, telling concerned family and friends, that this obsession is because it is America’s national sport and represents everything American’s stand for (being lazy), when in reality they are watching the shit for the tight pants.

You know this way you can watch Reese Witherspoon pull all your favorites moves and jerk off to it like you want to jerk off the MLB, but can’t because it’ll mean you’re gay, but doing it to Reese Witherspoon just means you have no fucking taste.

I am also posting it because I like the way she looks like she’s catching her mom-tit while getting dirt kicked up in her face like she wasn’t practicing for a part in a movie like she was Rosie O’Donnell, but was practicing to be treated like the worthless whore she is. Amazing.

Posted in:Athlete|Reese Witherspoon|Softball

2009

20

Apr

Who the Fuck is Jessica Cirio and Why Do I Love Her Dance of the Day

5 Comments »

I don’t know why this video just landed in my inbox, it was posted on youtube a long time ago, but I clicked the shit and saw some girl on TV in Europe or South America or wherever the fuck they are dressed like a school girl, doing some hot dance and getting fuckin’ stripped the fuck down to her thong and topless on fucking TV. Her name is Jessica Cirio and she’s from Buenos Aires and she should be invited to America to do this little number on The View, I am sure Whoopi would get hard for this shit.

Posted in:Buenos Aires|Jessica Cirio|Schoolgirl Dance

2009

20

Apr

Elle Macpherson and Some Shorts on Vacation of the Day

4 Comments »

I uploaded a ton of Elle Macpherson pics last week, I have no idea why, but I do know that I didn’t post them. I guess I was giving a little love back to the girl who introduced the SI Swimsuit edition to my masturbation, not that I get down like that anymore, but it was the 80s and porn access was limited, espectially when you live with psycho Christians who would strip search you everytime you came home, because they thought you were up to no good, and molesters for the sake of Jesus, not that it matters, I don’t need to air out my dirty laundry with you, even though I have a lot of it, but that’s just because my wife is a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to be a fucking wife, but she does know how to eat a hot dog and not in the good kind of way, but in the obese all you can eat buffet kind of way.

HERE SHE IS RIDING A BIKE…..

BONUS – SOME PICTURES OF HER IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS THAT ISN”T SEE THROUGH AT ALL

Here’s that 1989 SI Shoot – I Fell in Love With…In Hindsight, She’s Got Shoulders Only a Gay Guy Could Love….But I was an immigrant, had lower standards, was hornier and 19.

Posted in:Elle Macpherson|See Through|Shorts|Vacation

2009

20

Apr

Are any of these dudes you….of the Day

No Comments »

I guess Craigslist really does come in handy. I’ve used to it to look for concert tickets and new apartments whenever I plan on leaving my wife, but I guess I wasn’t tapping into it’s full potential, not that I’d want to get with a 14 year old boy, but I figured where’s there’s 14 year old male prostitutes hustlin, 18 year old female prostitutes aren’t too far behind…but the problem with 18 year old prostitutes is that you don’t get your name and picture on TV and the Internet makin’ you famous and everyone wants to be famous…watch this sick story.

Posted in:Craigslist|Pedophiles|Sex