I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

02

Mar

Jessica Alba Rockin’ Some Fruit of the Day

Here’s a picture of Jessica Alba showing off where Cash Warren came in her a few hours before she spat it out into a cup and hid it in the fridge until he passed out asleep and she artificially inseminated herself to get pregnant and trap the motherfucker for life. Good job.

Here’s the rest of her eating fruit for you people who get off on healthy eating like you were a couple fucking hippies backpacking Europe and just found the first vegan restaurant on the trip. I am not sure what that means, but it was stupid and I’m keeping it.

Posted in:Fruit|Jessica Alba

2009

02

Mar

Lily Allen’s Finally Lookin’ Good of the Day

Lily Allen may be a disgusting pig who I hate and who ignores me on the internet, but she has gone above and beyond her usual laziness where she just walks around without covering her face like we want to see that fucking shit, and by shit, I mean shit. She’s actually stepped back and said to herself that hey, as an ugly person who is already in spotlight too much, polluting everyone’s life with ugliness, maybe I should give the public a break and spare them the abuse by shoving my pillow in my face, something reminiscent of every single time she’s got fucked, you know even the night she got pregnant…. where’s the baby now Lily? Should we issue an amber alert on that shit for you or something? Cunt.

Posted in:Lily Allen|Pillowface

2009

02

Mar

Shauna Sand is Still a Whore of the Day

Here is natural beauty Shauna Sand walking around in and I haven’t really figured out why anyone would really care, I mean other than her having huge tits on her small frame, which is ok, I guess, but any girl with a small frame could get herself a set of Shauna Sand tits with a little money, so it doesn’t impress me. What does impress me is the bartender of some after party I went to who was staked and proud of her natural tits, or at least proud enough to pull them out of her shirt more than once after I probably compulsively asked to see them, but don’t really remember because I was drunk and still am.

Posted in:Shauna Sand|Stripper|Whore

2009

02

Mar

Lindsay Lohan Death Watch of the Day

Despite looking like death, Lindsay Lohan is still alive, unfortunately, but the good news is that it probably won’t be for long. She’s in the UK doing her thing by going to synagogue and going on dinner dates with her lesbian lover, you know doing her girlfriend duties that don’t involve suckin Ronson’s clit, and both this girls look like fucking shit. I figure they’ve gone back to Ronson’s home to say their final goodbyes to their family and friends at one last bash before taking their own lives, but I could be wrong. I usually am.

On a sidenote, when wasted, I met a 16 year old girl in the bar I was drinking at and she was really into Lindsay Lohan, so I did what any perverted 40 year old would do when a 15 year old girl is in love with Lindsay Lohan, and made her flash me her vagina for her phone number. I am not sure how long it’ll take her to realize I gave her the wrong number because last thing I need is Lohan suing me for giving her number out, but I got to see 16 year old vagina. I figure as long as it goes down in a bar, where you legally have to be 18 to drink, it’s safe.

Wow, my posts are sucking today….

Here they are at a Bar Mitzvah becauase Ronson is Jewish, Lohan is Converting, because they know they are both dying and that in Judaism there is no hell…which makes being a sinner, addict and cunt….

Posted in:Dead|death|Dying|Lindsay Lohan

2009

02

Mar

Jennifer Love Hewitt is a Fucking Dump of the Day

I like how Jennifer Love Hewitt’s turned 30 and has officially given up on life. I remember when I first started wearing sweatpants in public a couple of years ago because I couldn’t find pants that weren’t elastic waist band to fit and for the first 6 months of the shit, I felt a little ashamed. I still try to fake it when I head out to bars and shit, not because I am image oriented or really care all that much, but there’s something about sweatpants that screams I slept in this shit, and didn’t bother getting dressed, that is never attractive or hot. Sure she can accessorize with her Luis Vuitton and a mercedes, but as far as I’m concerned bitch looks like the poor kid in your elementary school and not like a hot Jewish girl heading to camp and I blame her fat mother for that.

Posted in:Jennifer Love Hewitt|Lazy|Slob

2009

02

Mar

Bree Olson and Kayden Kross in a Marshmallow Eating Contest of the Day

I don’t know much about porn, people always laugh at me because I am a pervert but whenever they drop porn names, I am always at a loss, because I am more into amateur shit, you know like seeing some college slut sucking off her ex boyfriend before cheating on him and forcing him to share the shit with the world to jerk off to kind of shit, but I know that porn is a big deal, I know that people fall in love with these girls who are generally plastic and disgusting, like raped strippers with a meth addiction, but every once in a while, girls like Bree Olson and Kayden Kross come out of the industry, and who are hot and seem to be havin’ fun with the whole porn thing, and don’t seem like battered, victims of abuse, trying to make ends meet.

This is a video of them having a marshmallow eating competition, I’m sure it’s not the first time they fill their mouths up together, but probably the first time no vaginainvolved, because these girls always dyke out together, but it’s a weird video, weird concept, I’m gonna post the shit because seeing girls spit shit up is hot to me, especially when I have to watch my wife swallow pretty much everything in sight, because she is fat.

Here is a video of her playing something called Fluffy Bunny, I’ve never heard of…

Posted in:Bree Olson|Kayden Kross|Marshmallows

2009

02

Mar

Miley Cyrus Goes on a Bike Ride with her Fame Fucker of the Day

I didn’t realize it was Monday today. I haven’t been on the computer the last couple of days because I hate it and I was drunk or recovering from being drunk, so when someone called me to ask why I hadn’t updated the site I felt like I had to get up, even though no one reads this shit.

So here’s my first useless post of Miley and her latch on taking a bike ride because I guess people care, you know seeing these idiots running after them like they’ve just caught the Queen of England ripping lines, and the whole thing is bullshit, because the only thing Miley and her boyfriend like is riding their strap on, you know since it’s not breaking the promise ring, but more importantly, it’s the only way her boyfriend can fuck her because Vaginas are so icky, when you’re a queer.

Here are a few pics of her and her busted face taking a jog….because you’re a fucking pervert…she’s 16….

Posted in:Biking|Miley Cyrus

2009

28

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I wrote this:

She messages me this:

Now she is dead to me, I’ll waste my time on actual interesting people and the war ends here, there were some funny email exchanges with her PR company, that are probably not worth posting, but I’ll put it up anyway:

I have no idea why you upsetting one of my female rappers with sexually inappropriate twitters means you email and blacklist my clients. I have nothing to do with this situation. I asked her what this is about and she sent me twitters of you saying lewd things to her and she apparently told you she was going to report you.

Why a professional blogger would be saying sexually inappropriate things to female artists is happening is beyond me. I don’t understand why you doing this to her means I owe you an apology.

Please stop emailing my clients with this nonsense that is not even related to the actions of myself or anyone on my staff or I’ll need to contact my attorney.

I am anything but professional and I will probably be banned on twitter, because apparently freedom of speech exists when what you say isn’t sexually harassing, even if you could argue that what I said was medical or maybe just a fucking joke that wasn’t supposed to be taken to heart because I didn’t know you had a sweaty pussy that you are ashamed of, making it impossible to laugh about….

But I’ll still be on this site, it’s seems to be the only place I’m allowed to write on the internet….

UPDATE – Another email from her PR Team….

You should speak to me before sending off emails like you just did. Please stop.

1) She did not report you
2) You sent her rude sexually inappropriate twitters-what would you expect her to do?
3) I expect all those we work with to be professional and in return we are professional back. Writing about music is not the same as talking about a woman’s vagina. That is not acceptable.

You are making a mistake going about this in this manner. It makes no sense to threaten blacklisting people- it will only anger them and make you look desperate.

I have done nothing wrong and I will not be bullied by someone who even admits I’ve done nothing wrong.

I will speak to melisa and you can certainly stop covering her. I do know she has reported nothing so it seems best for you to leave it alone and refrain from twittering more on her.

And some Tweets she made about me that I didn’t bother responding to because I am already bored of this and just going to block this garbage and hope it crawls back into the suburban hole she crawled out of…seriously…she writes like only someone trying way too hard to be authentic would.


Useless people. And here are my useful stepLINKS.


If you read my twitter, Rihanna and Chris Brown are back together…because everyone deserves a second chance…
GO

Because I Know You Had a Hard Week
GO

Baby Making With Russell Simmons Is Pretty Much a Recession Proof Industry
GO

High School Musical Boobs
GO

The Only 30 Videos on the Net where Things DIDN’T Go Wrong
GO

Get Your Ping Pong On!
GO

Alessandra Ambrosio Does Right in a Bikini
GO

How to Discipline You Baby
(Seriously, This is Awesome)
GO

Internet Losers Are Forever
GO

Google Strret Views Throught The Ages
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Pam Anderson is Actually Wearing Clothes
GO

Ed McMahon is Most Probably Going to Die
GO

Naomi Watts is Nude
GO

Charlize Theron Hotness
GO

Guy Ritchie is Awesome
GO

Salma Hayek and Her World Saving Tits Are Married
GO

Oiling Up is Definitely My Kind of Work
GO

Brea Lynn is the Kind of Blonde You’ll Want
GO

And Here’s the Next Michael Jordan
GO

Kanye West is a Non-Stop Source of Entertainment
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Ski Jump Over Rocks
GO

Everyman Deserves a Princess
GO

Pernilla Lundeberg Does Trashy Sexy
GO

Fun With Public Access
GO

A Lion and a Ferret
GO

Jenny McCarthy Still Has It
GO

Because I Know There is No Fucking Way You’ll Get Laid On Your Own
GO

Buy Some of Michael Jackson’s Shit Heres
GO

Porn, What Is It Good For?
GO

Malene Espensen’s Nude Calendar
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Renata in the Buff
GO

More Isla Fisher Red Hotness
GO

Katy Perry, WTF Are You Wearing?
GO

Veronika Simon loves her Wicked Weasel
GO

An MC Hammer Reality Series is Most Probably Going to Be Amazing
GO

The People Versus George Lucass
GO

Get Rid of the Fifth Wheel Please
GO

Ricky Martin is Defined
GO

How About Lesbian Vampire Killers
GO

Pulp Fiction Burgers
GO

Hotties in Hoodies For My Cold Weather Friends
GO

Some 28 Year Old Died After Making a Sex Bet with 2 Girls.
GO

Some Party Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

27

Feb

Some UK Big Brother Weirdness of the Day

Here are UK Big Brother stars and lovers Mario Marconi and Lisa Appleton. These kind of trash make no fucking sense to me, he’s a bodybuilder who has been in numerous British Reality shows, a serial reality TV attention craving vane piece of shit, and she’s the girl fucking him with a set of tits so fucking stupid only someone who feel inadequate in all other aspects of her life would get, leading them to make total assholes of themselves every time they leave the house, hoping someone will care about their really big heads, seriously check out those things, here are the pics.

Posted in:Tits|UK Big Brother|Weird

2009

27

Feb

Denise Richards and Her Dancing With the Stars Bullshit of the Day

I love how the paparazzi are whining like bitches trying to get the shot of Denise Richards because it will put food on the table for them and their immigrant family for another night. You can tell in their desperate cries that they really hate the girl with the backpack on and would kill her if they could, like they did to Princess Dianna and Anna Nicole Smith, just to get the fucking story….useless fucking existence, welcome to my life.

Posted in:Dancing With the Stars|Denise Richards|Tank Top