Here are some shitty Naomi Campbell pictures, I’ve lost interest in posting for the day, I actually lost interest many fucking years ago, but when I am given these shitty quality pics of Naomi Campbell in a bikini, who could really be anyone in a bikini, and the only identifier that it is in fact her is that we know normal black girls are too busy working to be laying in the sun, unless they are hookers/strippers/pornstars in Miami or Jennifer Hudson. But I figure it’s worth lookin’ at.
Paris Hilton is pretty much over and done with as far as I’m concerned, but she manages to get attention by re-inventing herself with a push-up bra or a bra stuffed with a couple of those silicone inserts that make me feel uncomfortable because they turn me on. I guess she’s too much of a pussy to get real implants, I guess you become a pussy when your vagina takes over your life. If its not tending to the scabs and applying topical cream, it’s finding random dick to put into it and I figure if the whore wants to hold onto the attention she’s used to getting, she should just get a set of fucking tits instead of pretending to have one. Pretending just pisses people off, like the time I pretended to masturbate outside an all girls school on their school on lunch break and ended up getting chased by security. It’s like if I had just gone out and did the real thing, I coulda tuned on the awkward girl enough to make her my future girlfriend interested in further exploring my small penis, because boys she knows just don’t like her, instead I left with an asthma attack from running. Not that it matters.
What does matter is that I hate jacked up movie magic to make tits look like tits when there is no tit to begin with….
Speaking of the rich person weirdness, what the fuck is Ivana Trump into in these pictures?
I’ve been sending twitter messages, yes, I just mentioned twitter again, because I have nothing else going for me and I think it’s a website that was designed for me, because annoying people and what they do in their useless lives comes easy to me. So anyway, I’ve been telling Jimmy Fallon all day that he is garbage and needs me to write for him, not because I think I am funnier than he is, but because I think everyone is funnier than him. He isn’t responding to me, so I’m just going to let you all know that in this segment Justin Timberlake carried this guy and his sinking ship and you should sign a petition to give the shit to him, not because I am a Timberlake fan, but because he’s a better comedian than Fallon, who claims to be a comedian, and the lies need to stop now.
The woman you have spent your entire life worshiping, you know dreaming about one day fighting intergalactic wars with, the woman you based all your fantasy girlfriends and masturbation sessions on, is not very nice. I guess it’s time for you to suck it up and move on with your life, because even the one girl you thought you’d always have in your life, thinks you’re a fucking loser and here she is at some comic conference letting the world know she’s had enough of these loyal fan losers who think her shit is a fucking religion and their bullshit is tiring, because taking the Star Wars job in the 70s to pay off some cocaine debt was a just a fucking job, instead it became a horrible fucking curse that she can’t fucking escape and it looks like she’s had enough of you fucking virgins.
I’ve said Annalynne McCord looks like a monkey since the first time I saw that big mouth and her Slumdog Million Ears , so when I saw these pictures of her finally getting her hands on a banana I laughed.
Unfortunately, people out there find her hot, and thing she’s got it going on, and that’s why she has a career and why the paparazzi are taking pictures of her, so you can use the banana eating as some masturbation material, since it’s been an on going joke since you were in the 5th grade, despite her fuckin’ teeth lookin’ like serious weapons….
I am always talking about Twitter like shit changed the fucking world, but I guess it’s the one way to tap into useless celebrities and respond back at them things you think is important, like telling Lily Allen she’s a fat fucking pig after posting these fat pictures of herself eating some ribs in bed at her hotel room wherever the fuck she is.
I mean I thought she was fat enough just in everyday clothes but she’s just become a lot fatter in my eyes, I mean this shit is so fat my wife would jerk off to the shit if she saw it, and this is what she wrote when she posted it….
Ribs and bibs , in bed. Gross in retrospect but so good at the time. Mmmmm
She’s the kind of eating disorder fat chick who recognizes that what she is doing is fucking disgusting while doing it, but has no self control in the moment, only after the fact she can sit down and share her lapse in judgement with the world. She makes me sick and not just just because those ribs look like her underwear on miscarriage day….
In disgusting rumors, Jay-z is said to be having sex with Khloe Kardashian and here is a video of her denying it.
Everyone knows that when a fat monster of a girl has sex with pretty much anyone, she goes out and buys a billboard saying “Yes! I finally got laid”, I’m talking takes shit to her Facebook and email blasts everyone she knows, holding two thumbs up and some shit, because it happens so fucking rarely, and bitch likes people knowing that someone was willing to get up in her scary monster cunt, I guess that’s what happens when you’re a genetic mistake that leaves straight men confused if fucking her makes them gay, closet case men test the waters.
Then again, Jay-Z probably doesn’t have very high standards I mean, he is with Beyonce and Khloe Kardashian is just and extension of Beyonce’s thighs, you know like if you saw a picture of Beyonce’s thighs, Khloe Kardashian’s face would be what you’d expect them be attached….
I don’t know why I am feeding into this shit, but I am, so watch the video.
Here are some polished, boring, catalog pictures of Miranda Kerr for Victoria’s Secret. I was never the kind of guy who was able to get off to catalog pictures, I’d hate the shitty air brushing of the nipples and bush, and I’d go for National Geographic tribal pics, because it was authentic, but that was in an era before internet, now none of us really have to worry about that shit, but seeing Miranda Kerr in a bikini reminds me that on Spring Break, I’m not out getting drunk and flashed, but sitting in an unheated apartment with a fat wife who I don’t want to see flash anything but her credit card my way…
I follow Mini Beyonce on Twitter, because twitter is my new thing and she never really says anything interesting.
She’s touring, has a kid and clearly wishes she was her sister, and here’s a video of her throwing her mic stand at her audience because she’s always going to be in Beyonce’s shadow, but then again, so is pretty much everyone, considering Beyonce’s thick.
On a side note, her top twitter today was
….weave dried
or maybe it was …….
Almost forgot to put cream on the tat before I went to sleep. Keep forgetting I got one because I can’t see it.
This Britney Spears shit is going to be a pretty big deal, All her shows are sold out and tickets are going for 200 dollars a piece and after seeing the dress rehearsal videos, some pretty fucking nutty shit goes down. It’s on some kind of Cirque du Soleil gayness, but maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve never gone to Cirque du Soliel, but probably more likely because seeing contortionists doing ribbon dances bores me, but I guess it all makes sense because her shit is called Circus.
It looks like it is going to be costing a lot of fucking money and even the dress rehearsals are big fucking scale. Her costumes are slutty, I want to fuck her and I guess so do a lot of big corporations who are on to help foot the bill, one of those companies is Candies, a shoe company and junior clothing company who have gone so far as to make Britney one of their Candies Girls, I guess in efforts to get their money’s worth.
It’s nice to see brands attach themselves to a bipolar, unstable, crazy person, you’d expect their conservative asses to stay as far away as possible from, but I guess they figure it’s worth draggin heir brand’s through the mud to be part of the biggest fucking concert in history, unless she kills herself before it starts….
Here’s the second video of her rehearsal….if anyone has tickets for me, I want to go masturbate in the crowd. Not to Britney but to all the little girls who act slutty like Britney.
