Here’s some Jessica Alba staged pictures of her and her kid playing and like she’s the love of her life, because of the negative press she’s recently got from me about how she wants nothing to do with her kid, not even breast feed it. Well I don’t buy this shit, you’re an actor and everything you do is a lie, a very bad actor and this is bullshit.
As soon as they got home she locked the kid in the soundproof room in the basement where she keeps him so he doesn’t bother her. She has some immigrant women care for him between days her and her publicist agree she should bring him out to light and pretend to be having the time of her fucking life being a “mom” photo opportunity.
I grew up jerking off to Christie Brinkley’s modeling pics, it was the 80s, I was a virile young man who hadn’t found the value in cheap hookers and together we had a pretty wholesome coming of age relationship. She was with me the first time I ever stuck anything in my ass to heighten orgasm, she was with me when I jerked off in the school bathroom, she was with me when I asphyxiated myself with my belt the first time, she was with me the first time I fucked an inanimate object and with me the for the first 20 or 30 times I fucked ugly chicks.
I remember staring to hate her when she married Billy Joel. I remember hating her more when she got pregnant with him and I remember being excited when I found it was a girl 13 years younger than me, thinking that by the time she was 18, we could maybe fuck. Then I forgot about the whole thing, I turned 16, I got my driver’s license, I got on with life and I couldn’t be bothered remember Brinkley or any other model or celebrity, I was too into living and by living I mean slowly killing myself.
When I came across these pictures of Alexa Ray Joel last night, I didn’t believe it. Christie Brinkley was a blonde goddess, not some hooked nose rat, I guess Billy’s seed is strong, or should I say Billy JEW’s seed is strong….
I was reminded of those years, the hope, the memories, the good times, but horribly faced with the reality that Alexa Ray Brinkley is no Christie. I guess it only makes sense since my life is filled with disappointment.
Here are her pics in some stupid outfit from the other day….
It turns out the as nepotism does, she’s a recording artist, because modeling wasn’t really an option an here is a boring perfomance video….I have no idea how a 20 year old would get into this kind of music…I am posting it because she’s disappoints me.
That said, I’d still fuck her, just to get a chance to accidentally walk in on her mom in the bathroom, or sleeping, or some shit. And I feel for her, because it must suck to live a life in your mother’s shadow. All she can do is blame Billy.
Remember when you had a thing for Kelly Clarkson and you’d get mad at me for calling her a pig. You know when you thought she was the hottest popstar out there because she reminded you of the girl next door, because in reality, she was the girl next door. I’d say shit about how you can tell she’s a fat chick hiding in a skinny girl’s body because of contracts, I’d compare her to Ruben Studdard and I’d get so much fucking hate, like she meant so much to you, like she represented the American Dream, like thinking she was fat was against god’s way and was unpatriotic because she was an American Idol. Well Guess what, I win.
Well actually it looks like the dessert tray won, you know night after night after night, getting her fatter and fatter until reaching this point of fat, which as far as I am concerned is too fat to be seen in public but just fat enough to marry and and treat like the shit that she is to ensure food is on your table every night while living off her fortune.
Here she is in other clothes, I guess she was so excited to find shit that fit that she couldn’t wait to show the world….
If you’re wondering why Kanye’s dating some lesbian hipster, it’s because she’s got a haircut he can deal with as long as he fucks her from behind and she answers to the name, Jeff.
Here are some pictures of Amber Rose, Kanye’s Girlfriend, and her Ex-Girlfriend…Doing Some PG Dyking Out GO
Here’s a video of Amanda Bynes and her cunt friend ignoring a homeless guy in a wheelchair as they jump into her 60,000 dollar car. Her raspy friend who I’ll call “The Jew” says “Sorry, excuse me”, pretty much a passive aggressive “Ew, you’re gross, fuck off”, to the homeless guy as her begs desperately for some change, asking them to have a heart,which I guess he figured out, they don’t have because they are vapid little hollywood cunts who think they are hotter than they actually are.
Sure Amanda Bynes hasn’t worked in a long time and her groupie’s only job has been working her way into Amanda Bynes’ entourage, hoping for the tail-end of her fame, so they were too pre-occupied to hear his screams of serious hunger and pain.
Katy Perry is keeping things weak, fabricated, contrived, staged, fake, and totally fucking bullshit by bringing out her guitar on stage at some event somewhere in Europe.
Not only is her entire record deal and idea of talent some kind of lie I don’t fucking understand, as is the fact that people like hearing her fake sexual fantasies in song and give her attention for it, despite her dyking out being really disgusting, you know like the ugly lesbian in high school who was a lesbian because no one would take her boyish good looks to prom and vagina was the only answer, but the biggest lie of it all is that she’s got sex appeal just because she’s got big tits and some perverts give her attention for it, when in reality, she’s just fat.
So I guess seeing her rock the guitar fits in with everything else she’s doing and it’s just another reason to hate her a little more than I did yesterday. Thanks Katy Perry. You cunt.
Kim Kardashian played make-belief yesterday when escorting her boyfriend to the gym. This was probably the first time this pig made it passed the front door because every other time she tried to go, she’d end up at the ice cream shop, but I guess since it’s the off season and she’s actually gotta spend time with her athlete boyfriend, she’s got no choice. The good news though is that he just makes Kim Kardashian stand 10 feet in front of the treadmill and bend over a little in her spandex, because it makes him run at her faster, since that shit is addictive to black men and he wants to mount her like they were an exhibit at the fucking zoo.
BONUS – Some Pics of Her Lookin’ At Her Ass after her rough workout.
This 9 year old has been fighting cancer for a couple of years and has been given a couple of weeks to live. Her last request was to get married so her family put it all together for her. I know what you’re thinking about a little too much and that’s whether she saved herself for marriage like she was a Jonas brother.
Either way, seeing her mother devastated, crying and weak is a little fucking obnoxious, considering it’s supposed to be her daughter’s day and she’s taking away from everyone’s happiness. She’s making it about her, like this whole “look how sad I am losing my only child” attitude on such a beautiful day when she should just wait out the 2 weeks so her kid’s last memories are those of fucking smiles.
But other than that the whole thing is a pretty fucking depressing story but I guess that’s the whole point of these “Fun With Cancer” Posts.
To See Yesterday’s Fun With Cancer Post Follow This Link…. GO
I posted this shitty Beyonce, Jackman, High School Musical performance from the Oscars yesterday because I had slept in and I knew that the best way to annoy people was to post more Oscar bullshit.
I didn’t take the time to watch it and the part that I did see was spent avoiding Beyonce’s Fried Chicken things by trying to spot a Zac Effron vagina slip, so I didn’t notice that Beyonce’s nipple popped out, but luckily, someone with a lot of time on his hands, took the time to capture the moment for people like me to share with the world. Thanks economic crisis and job layoffs for letting us distract our unemployed selves with the things that really fucking matter….
Here’s a cry for another 15 minutes if I’ve ever seen one. This Makin’ Da Band member named Chopper City got caught in a threesome with 2 girls. I have no idea who this dude is, I do know this sex tape sucks, but I figured I’d post it anyway, because I like supporting all things related to trying to get exposure by fucking on camera, even if you do things stupid, black and white and from garbage fucking angles, it’s still a sex tape being released in hopes getting some Paris Hilton, Pam Anderson, Kardashian success, when the only success they’ll really get is successfully making a fool of themselves and successfully getting rejected from all future jobs at Burger King after the district manager google searches motherfucker’s name.
