I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

26

Jan

Miley Cyrus in Some Weird Horse Riding Photoshoot of the Day

The next time Miley goes horseback riding, she should do it bareback, you know without pants or underwear, because it’s the best way to leave her box bruised, chaffed and smelling like shit, I mean other than spending the afternoon in a meeting with a team of Disney execs who own that teenage snatch. I mean it’s not prositution when it’s a career more, or maybe it is. Well at least she gets paid well, I mean otherwise it’d just be fucking sick since she is only 16, and I am not trying to present her as a sexual object, that would be illegal and suicide for me, I’ll just let Disney continue to do that, but in her defense, 16 year old’s are usually past the handjob phase, and have thrown the panty-on rule out the window, and taking things to the next level, so in her defense she’s gotta get some fuckin’ love somewhere, it’s not like that guy she’s dating is giving it to her, because he’s gay and scared of vagina, no matter how many promises it makes to give him a career.

Here she is doing a photoshoot somewhere….

Posted in:Horseback Riding|Miley Cyrus|Photoshoot

2009

26

Jan

Some Shauna Sand in Her Bikini of the Day

I just spent an hour uploading these Shauna Sand bikini pictures. I have no idea why. It’s probably got something to do with me having nothing better to do with my time, but I like to think it is because I like girls to think I find this shit hot, so they feel inadequate, flat chested, deflated lipped and fat, so that they save up their money, get as many plastic surgeries as dicks you’ve had in your various orifices, so that all the bitches who won’t fuck me will end up lookin like monsters too. That way I won’t feel so bad about myself, because anyway you look at this, it’s fucking disgusting.

Here are some more pictures of Shauna Sand in her bikini, on some romantic getaway, with some guy who’s gotta be gay to get with this tranny pig, because I don’t think you’ve been punished enough….

Posted in:Bikini|Shauna Sand

2009

26

Jan

Lindsay Lohan’s Pretty Skinny, but Still a Huge Cunt of the Day

My new enemy Lindsay Lohan went shopping to try to remind herself that despite being pretty irrelevant, she’s still got enough money to buy herself anything she wants, so life isn’t all that bad, despite knowing that it is, and she’s lookin’ pretty skinny.

Maybe it’s because she’s back on fucking drugs, but we all know she never stopped taking the drugs. She’s just an unstable bitch who everyone hates, but can’t manage to escape because she hasn’t Heath Ledgered herself, but I am sure she will do us that favor soon enough. She just needs a couple more rejections, failures and episodes. At least we have something to look forward to.

Or maybe she’s so skinny because she’s on an all fish diet. Yes, it is bad joke Monday everyday of the week here at drunkenstepfather.com, because I don’t discriminate against days, I just discriminate against people.

Posted in:Cunt|Lindsay Lohan|Skinny

2009

26

Jan

Tommy Lee is a DJ and Victoria Silvstedt is his DJ Whore of the Day

So Tommy Lee is another one of these celebrity DJs who goes out to clubs because they offer him a lot of fucking money to get behind the turntables and let his ipod do the talking.

Now I don’t really give a shit about this whole celebrity DJ movement, I think it’s a huge fucking joke, but that’s probably because I don’t think DJing really takes all that much talent, I figure if you have any level of rhythm, like if you were a drummer or something, mixing other people’s songs into one another would be pretty fucking easy.

What I don’t fucking understand why he’d want to DJ. Isn’t he rich and famous? Maybe it is because his band isn’t making moves or money because he’s settled all those lawsuits out of court with girls he gave STDs to. Maybe it is because it is the only way he can convince a club to hire him to attend, and he figures he might as well make stupid money to get drunk, then not and it lets him be the center of attention and source of the music all the sluts in the club are dancing to.

No matter what it is, it’s a fucking scam and cunt Victoria Silvstedt is feeding right into it, but that’s okay, because she’s a fucking idiot, and idiots are expected to suck up to an overpaid, ex rockstar DJ, because they are more famous that her mooching ass and she’s willing to do anything possible, as long as it involves getting dick in her mouth/ass/pussy, to climb up the ladder, even though she’s old, washed up, and disgusting.

Bonus – A Picture of Tommy Lee Advertising to the World That He’s Tricked Us All Into Making Him Famous. Thanks Asshole.

Here are some more pictures of Victoria Silvstedt and whatever the fuck this event was….because she’s a fucking whore.

Posted in:DJ|Tommy Lee|Victoria Silvstedt|Whore

2009

26

Jan

Kanye West is an Asshole of the Day

I hate Kanye West. You can tell dudes an insecure little pussy with no friends. He just secured a deal with Luis Vuitton to make some hip hop shoes for them, because that’s how these big corporations work, hire a celebrity to be the face to a new direction they are taking their shit.

Now he’s on some ego trip. Like he’s a fashion icon, because not only did his mom suck his dick and make him feel like a star when she was alive, but so did everyone else. He is the kind of guy in dire need of getting beat the fuck up and the only way we can do that is to not buy anything he does, or participate in his music.

That means, everytime it hits the radio, call your radio station and complain. That means standing outside your local record store staging hunger strikes and shit. This motherfucker is detrimental to the world and needs to be stopped.

In this video, he’s decided to joke around about changing his name to Martin Luis the King Jr and I find that offensive. Kanye hasn’t progressed society in anyway, he’s just a little 5 foor 6 cunt with small man syndrome and no mother.

Posted in:Asshole|Kanye West

2009

24

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I was planning to orchestrate a huge production for Sam Ronson just to get my revenge on Lohan for reaching out to me. I came up with a few ideas, like getting 100 people to show up in Fuck Lohan T-shirts, or to convince 100 people to throw rotting fish at her as she DJs, or to get no one to show up to the event and have her and the club at a loss for why the only person in the place is staff, but then I realized I have no pull and I am too irrelevant for stunts, but it would have been funny, so I found a cheap bottle of wine, I drank it and I’m sitting on my computer. The night is still young so any crazyness can happen, but it usually doesn’t. So I guess training my penis to be a vagina was just a huge waste of fucking time….but again, I didn’t put much effort into.

Have yourself a merry little weekend you cocksucker, here are my links, I may be back tomorrow with something revolutionary, but that is definitely not a promise. Cuddles.

Everyone Wants Someone they Can Abuse….and not get arrested.
GO

The Girl Scouts of American Are Going to Have to Answer to Me
GO

There’s Something About Katie Green that is Big
GO

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s Hottest Pics
GO

Kiera Knightley Needs to Eat Some Fucking Food
GO

Uncle Jesse’s Girl
GO

More From the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show
GO

Do the Crotch Hop
GO

Because It’s a Lot Cheaper Than Paying a Lawyer for Defending Your Rape Charge
GO

Meet Eva
GO

Holly Weber Needs to Take That Crocheted Bikini Off
GO

RIP Veatrice From Jimmy Kimmel Live
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Kelly Osbourne Checks Her Fat Ass Into Rehab
GO

Sigourney Weaver Granny Upskirt
GO

I Wanna Punch Shenae Grimes in the Face
GO

Boy George, You Fucked Up
GO

Sienna Miller is Bringing Her Tattered Vagina to Broadway
GO

Work out Alternative for Stay At Home Dad
GO

Nikki Case and Mina Play Pretend Lesbian
GO

Note to Self: Tigers Are Dangerous
GO

Well It’s Official. Pete Wentz is Definitely a Homo
GO

Diane Sawyer is Most Probably Drunk
GO

Audrey Bitoni is Busting Out All Over the Place
GO

And This Is Why You Should Never Go to China Ever
GO

How Else Are You Ever Going to Get a Girlfriend?
GO

Red Neck Dentist
GO

Walmart Brings the Smiles From All Over
GO

The Hottest Playboy Centerfolds from 1980 – 1985
GO

Kelly Rowland is Looking Real Hot
GO

Pussy Play in Public
GO

Mariah Carey is Such a Whiney Fucking Bitch
GO

Because We Both Know You Have No Other Plans This Weekend
GO

The Sluts WHo Tennis Fuck
GO

Bond Girl Cleavage
GO

Amanda Heard Has Me Hypnotized
GO

Protests in Isreal Pretty Much Look Like the Awesomest Thing Ever
GO

Lux Cassidy and Kayden Cross Arent Twins, But They Are the Next Best Thing
GO

Kat Khol’s is a Playboy Beauty
GO

Russian Parkour Failure
GO

use and Old Satilitte Dish to Boost a Wireless Signal
GO

I Love My Cell Phone In Your Vagina!!
GO

Courtney Love Hates the Jews
GO

The Best Review of Donkey Punch EVer
GO

Just Like Hollywood, In Politics You Just Sort of Fail Upwards
GO

Of Course the Obama’s Like Fisting, Who Doesn’t?
GO

Casey Carleson May Be Enough to Make Me Watch American Idol
GO

Crazy Tits in Vegas, Meet Crazy Tits in Toronto and Crazy Outfit in Miami. The World Seems to be Full of Sluts.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

23

Jan

The Owner of Cirque Du Soleil Is Getting Fucked By a Brazilian Slut of the Day

There’s a crazy billionaire divorce case going on in Canada that I read about in the paper while drinking a free coffee down the street from me. They aren’t revealing the person’s name because it is the law, but I figured I should.

The South American woman he had kids with is asking for more 50,000,000 dollars and 56,000 dollars a month for child support, because he is a billionaire and knocked her up, brought her out of her ghetto live and opened her up to a life traveling the world, doing lots of cocaine and living in fucking luxury. I was trying to figure out who they were talking about, then when I read the bitch was a model, I realized it is Guy Laliberte, the founder of Cirque du Soliel.

Now I know this because I knew a guy who used to fuck her in his mansion and in his indoor pool on the side when he was around the world setting up his circus. They used to have parties with thousands of people every June, that I was never invited to, but that people I know went to, and not only did he give each guest 100 dollar voucher to get a cab home, but he also had every single drug readily available, I’m talking piles of cocaine, bowls of pills and weed on the tables set around the party, not to mention it was open bar.

I am just posting this, because I feel like I broke a story no one cares about and that makes me feel good about myself, probably a lot better than he does now that his plan to no marry her still fucked him up the ass, not to mention she’s going to be taking him to court in Brazil, where the law may make him give her half his billion dollar fortune.

It’s times like these I wasn’t a brazilian aspiring model who made my life work seducing men then fucking them for retarded amounts of money I could only dream about in my little tribal village.


Here’s the article on the story….
GO

Posted in:Cirque du Soleil|Divorce|Guy Laliberte

2009

23

Jan

Barack Obama on Hot 97 Prank of the Day

I don’t know what’s going on here, but it involves Barack Obama calling into the Angie Martinez show and talking to some other punk, that Obama ends up hanging up on after having a little talk with him, dropping a couple rhymes and the whole things pretty fucking weird to me, I mean why would the president call into a hip hop radio show, I am sure he’s not allowed to do that, I guess it’s got something to do with what Jay Z’s been saying all along, the president is black….or it could just be a prank, I mean, the dude says he’s part of a comedy show, so I guess you can decide for yourself, since it’s not that complicated to figure out, even for an idiot like you.

Posted in:Barack Obama|Hot 97

2009

23

Jan

Coleen Rooney is Still in her Bikini of the Day

I know what you’re all thinking, that I can’t be doing another Coleen Rooney post, I’ve done so many already and she’s not even worth looking at in a bikini in first place, but like every experience I’ve had at public beaches or places where girls wear bikinis, I am forced to stare at any girl in front of me, no matter how disgusting she is, especially when she is the only one around.

The truth is that I know that no one is actually thinking about why I am doing another Coleen Rooney post, because no one, including me cares. So here are the pics.

Posted in:Bikini|Coleen Rooney

2009

23

Jan

Lady Gaga is Keeping Things Interesting of the Day

So Lady Gaga did a good job distracting me from her busted up weird lookin’ face in another weird costume that is probably going over well in the science fiction clubs across america, because she’s looks like a science project gone wrong, or one of the robot women they fantasize about marrying because they can be programmed to do anything. I don’t know who this bitche’s target market is, but I assume it is teenage girls, because there’s no way grown ups can stomach her garbage music, so let’s just assume a lot of 16 year old girls will finally be walking around in their panties once summer hits, trying to be just like their weak chin, permanently opened mouth idol. I’ve been waiting for this day to come pretty much all my life, so we should thank Gaga for that, once it happens, which it will.

Shit, I missed the tampon string making a quick escape, I guess it’s because I didn’t think this monkey wore tampons…because I just assumed she was the kind of guy with a penis and not a vagina…

Posted in:Half Naked|Lady Gaga