I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

20

Jan

Ronnie Wood and His Mail Order Teenage Hipster Bride of the Day

I just spent way too much time uploading all these pictures of Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood and some 18 year old lookin’ Russian girl that is being said to be his girlfriend.

I have no idea why I bothered, because they aren’t having sex and she’s not naked and masturbating, or even slippin’ up nipple, or flashing panty. I guess it has to do with how funny I find seeing a 60 year old dressed like a 20 year old hipster you’d find at your local record store, you know in his skinny jeans and fat sneakers and flannel shirt, I mean dude’s probably considered a musical legend and has every right to dress however the fuck he wants, but it still makes me laugh, because old people aren’t supposed to dress like 20 year old Poli Sci students, it’s like the time I met a dude with that Infantism fetish, where dude got all dressed up in diapers and bonnets and sat in a adult size playpen soiling himself, only to be cleaned up by his lover, before using his rattle on her cunt while breast feeding.

The other thing I find funny is his teenage Russian hipster girlfriend. Where would a rockstar meet some teenage Russian hipster girlfriend? A catalog, maybe a website, ebay or even craiglist? I mean shit just doesn’t make sense, because if I was a rockstar, I’d be slamming models, pornstars and hot chicks, I’d leave the dumpy assed immigrants in American Apparel for the dudes in local indy bands and DJs, because she’s just not hot, no matter how tight her body is compared to the other bitches in his old folk’s home. Bad joke. Sure. I’ll give you that much, but I won’t give you my freedom. I don’t know what that means.

Couples Who Smoke together, stay together, especially when one of you owns the other…

Here they are at dinner….

Here they are shopping at American Apparel, every 16 year old Russian hipster chick’s favorite store…What a nice guy….

Posted in:Craddle Robber|Ronnie Wood

2009

20

Jan

Marisa Miller and Her Nipple in a BIkini of the Day

If you’re wondering why I haven’t posted, which you’re not. It’s because I am at the Obama Inauguration and it’s hard to find an internet cafe. I was personally approached by his people to cover the event on this site because we are a reputable news source for a solid dozen people. In case you were wondering, I wasn’t at the Obama Inauguration, I was sleeping. I figure all Americans would be watching this shit so why bother trying to compete. Obama is the biggest thing since the real Jesus and I figure I’ll let him have his time. I am over this whole Obama fad. It bores me. It is repetitive. I get it he brings you all hope and following him is like a fucking cult, but the dude is pretty positive, he does bring hope to all you suffering motherfuckers, but I’d rather see the miracles he talks about that hear him talk about them. Sure he’s been president for a solid 15 minutes now, but this classy, respectful motherfucker who even hugged George Bush, who I feel bad for, dude got a pretty shitty deal the people booed him despite having voted for him, hypocrites, maybe they should be booing their motherfucking selves. Anyway, this Obama motherfucker best get to work. First job should be to arrest that poet that came up after him to clear the fuckin’ room.

Speaking of getting to work, here’s Marisa Miller doing the whole Victoria’s Secret photoshoot thing, gettin’ paid motherfuckers.

Here are some more Marisa Miller bikini pictures….because you like her….

Posted in:Bikini|Marisa Miller|Nipple

2009

20

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I just dropped my last cigar in a shit filled toilet and I really was in the mood to smoke it and that pretty much sucks. I tried fishing it out with a toothbrush and realized that even I am not that desperate.

What doesn’t suck are my links….

Some Sluts Chasing the Fame Flame….
GO

When My StepDaughter Dropped Out of College, She Robbed Me of
Man Handling Her College Friends
GO

Sandee Westgate Talks Pineapple Express
GO

Tyra Banks is Looking More Beat Than Your Virgin Penis
GO

Score With Chicks, Without the Aid of Date Rape Drugs: A Step by Step Guide
GO

Cock Blocking is the Worst Shit You Can Do to a Friend
But When You Get Laid As Little As You Do, Rules Go Out the Window
GO

Marry Me Samantha!!
GO

The Top Ten Trends of the 90’s That Better Stay in the 90’s, Or I Will Shoot Someone
GO

Sure, We All Know Freddie Mercury Was Gay, But Did You Know He Was Also Japanese?
GO

Is My Gay Sex Loving Son Gay?
GO

More Porn Than Ever I Know What to Do With
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

God Damn, All Hell is Breaking Loose At the Screenings of Notorious
GO

Kerry Katona is Both Topless and Showing Off Her Camel Toe
GO

Julia Roberts Will SHUT YOU DOWN!
GO

Marisa Miller is All I Have Ever Wanted
GO

I’d Like to Put My Milk All Over Christie Brinkley’s Mouth
GO

Halle Berry is Still Got It
GO

Penny Cruz Gallery
GO

French Striptease Classes FTW!
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Because That Girl Your Holding Captive May Just Escape Soon
GO

Stripper Pole Accidents Make Me Smile
GO

Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out, Bush
GO

Taya Parker Takes It All Off
GO

The Breast Game Show EVER
GO

Man, Those South Koreans Really Know Good Cookins
GO

Gotta Love the Self Shots
GO

Because If You Don’t Have a Girlfriend By Now, There’s Just No Hope
GO

Now Here’s a Fat Bitch Who Really Reps Her Country
GO

Michella Cruz Should Really Wrap Those Legs Around My Fat Mid-Section
GO

Pussy Play in Public
GO

A Taco Bell Wedding
GO

Paris Hilton Gets More Delusional By the Day
GO

Get Sex Today, Because I Know You Have Nothing Better to Do
GO

Camila Alves is Hot Enough That The Fact She Ruined Her Vagina With a Baby is Forgiveable
GO

Jennifer and Stephanie Are in the Panties
GO

Build Yourself a Miniture Airplane
GO

Wanna Barf?’ Here’s What Madonna Looks Like Un-Photoshopped
GO

Martha Stewart Broke Up a Lesbian Orgy in Prison
GO

Joaqu9in Phoenix is Going Completely Fucking Insane and I Love It
GO

Meet Ninja Cat
GO

Girl Gets Publically Jizzed On. Classy
GO

It’s About Fucking Time. Amy Poehler is Getting Her Own TV Show
GO

Leave It To Hollywood to Ruin Everything Amazing
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Arab Porn
GO

Big, Ethnic, New York Tits…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

19

Jan

Brooke Hogan Goes Rollerblading of the Day

If you’ve wondered how Brooke Hogan keeps the figure she inherited from her father, this isn’t you’re answer. I am going to assume she rollerblades for transportation after her brother’s horrific accident made her scared of cars, because that shit is supposed to be cardio and cardio goes against staying a fucking monster of a girl. She reminds me of those dudes you know aren’t straight who rollerblade along the boardwalk in their bike shorts and nothing else in hopes of seducing men, because anyone who slips a pair of these bad boys on is clearly pussy whipped or a homo. This post is a waste of time, I probably should have warned you before you got this far, assuming you got this far, which we all know is serious wishful thinking. The same wishful thinking Brooke has when it comes to fitting into her thin fit jeans.

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Rollerblading|Shorts

2009

19

Jan

Lily Allen’s Stupid Hat and Ass Crack of the Day

Lily Allen was out showing her ass crack in her stupid hat and I can only assume it’s got to do with having a broken vagina. You know, like the virgin I used to hang with who would still suck dick and get with dudes, but her vagina was off limits, only Lily Allen’s no virgin, she just has anxiety about getting a dick near her after what happened last year. She sees cock as a weapon that destroys hopes and dreams by planting it’s seed and ripping it out from under your fingers when sitting on a toilet or on the hospital bed with a vacuum up your box because the pregnancy came at an inopportune time.

Posted in:Ass Crack|Lily Allen

2009

19

Jan

Pam Anderson is Out in a Bikini With Her Kids of the Day

The coolest thing about being Pam Anderson’s kid is that you can put the sex tape video in and see how she sucks dick. A lot of kids don’t get the pleasure of seeing just how their mom handles a dick in her mouth. I figure if mom’s taught their daughters just the right moves, we’d all be in a better place, you know like passing down a recipe from one generation to another, and each family having their own specific trademark moves, perfecting it over the years, instead they just lock that shit in the vault and never let their girls know shit about shit and if they do they end up on Dr Phil being judged by the fucking world.

Sure, Pam Anderson’s son’s can really only use her that video as a life lesson from mother to child if they end up being poofters, which is probably the case, because that’s just the kind of impact watching a close up of your dad’s drummin’ dick slamming your mom’s bald pussy has on you….

Fortunately, despite how much she’s aged, or how haggard she is, her shit doesn’t have that affect on me. I can still tap into the past and remember the sex object she was. Not to mention, I’d fuck any pussy. True story.

Posted in:Bikini|kids|Pam Anderson

2009

19

Jan

Kardinal and Akon’s Behind the Scenes of Beautiful of the Day

Kardinal is some Canadian rapper who is doing big things thanks to his partnership with Akon. His people have been good to me. They got me good tickets to his concert, they got me into some exclusive event that I would have otherwise never been allowed in and technically they got me very fucking drunk. I’ve never officially met any of these people but I got this video sent to me of a behind the scenes at a video shoot and their are sluts in their underwear. Sure this is nothing you can replace the Spice Girls first video with for masturbation purposes, but we gotta give them some credit for the effort to make shit hot. I mean if I was a rapper, my videos would involve me cumming all over chicks, but I guess my goal would be to use my video budget for pussy, when their goal is to get played on TV, probably a better approach to get chicks because they are more impressed when they see you on TV, I guess I just do everything backwards.

Posted in:Akon|Kardinal|Video

2009

19

Jan

Ron Jeremy Has Crocs of the Day

I was going to do a guess the Crocs post like I’ve seen on other sites, but I hate games. I have been to dinner parties that were very adult with my wife, and board games have been brought out and that’s my cue to hit up the couch and try to block out the cheers and laughs of everyone having the time of their lives, while looking like total fucking assholes, proud that I didn’t humiliate myself like they did because games are the one thing that embarrasses me, the whole time being called the downer, being called the party pooper and being mocked by the other adults, without fully grasping the only game I am down for is sexual and involves all the women naked and licking each other’s pussies.

So in keeping with ruining joy, excitement, anticipation all all those other emotions people get when you play games around me, I decided to just post the answer and save the fucking headache.

So here the person in the crocs was style icon Ron Jeremy at the Adult Expo last week and he dressed up for the occasion by looking pretty much like as much of a fat slob as he’s always been. Sure he’s fucked more pussy than the majority of fat slobs who just jerk off if they’re not too lazy between sandwiches, only to cum all over their wife beaters to create some new stains to live next their mustard stains, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a fat slob, it means that having a big dick gets you everything in life, not that I’d know first hand, but based on my research, it’s true.

Posted in:Adult Expo|Crocs|Ron Jeremy

2009

19

Jan

Kim Kardashian and Friends Like Milkshakes of the Day

The guy from Hollywood.tv who provides me with the videos I use daily comes from the UK and his background was high end/trendy ice cream shops. I guess his business strategy was to hold off on opening an LA ice cream shop and instead integrate himself into the celebrity scene to later use to promote his ice cream, but I don’t fucking know or care.

What I do know is that the Kardashian sisters, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt and Perez Hilton were seen at his store creating their own celebrity milkshake and these were the ingredients they chose…..

Check out the ingredients of the newest celebrity shakes:

Kim Kardashian – Strawberries and Banana

Khloe Kardashian – Strawberries, Vanilla and Peaches.

Kourtney Kardashian – Cookie Dough, Peanut Butter and Captain Crunch.

Perez Hilton- Oreo, Coconut, Cap’N’Crunch.

Heidi Montag – Strawberries, Peaches and Pineapples

Spencer Pratt – M&M’s, Cookie Dough and Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup

I like how Khloe Kardashian is keeping up with the boys and I use that term loosely (Perez), by hitting up the shit that is bad for you, maybe it is because she’s built like a fucking wrestler and needs to maintain her physique or maybe it’s just because she’s a fucking pig. I wonder how authentic Perez Hilton’s articles can really be, considering he is friends with these idiots, and I guess who really cares. The real issue is why I am bother posting this and I really don’t have an answer. Maybe watching Kim Kardashian give into her ass and feet it dairy turns me on, but I doubt that’s it. I think it’s got more to do with their desperation for attention….

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|Perez Hilton

2009

19

Jan

Lady Gaga in her Space Outfits of the Day

Here are some pictures of Lady Gaga in her space age outfits that she thinks are so fucking fashionable, which makes sense, because with a face like that, the only explanation I am willing to accept is that she’s from another planet. They didn’t quite get it right when making her take on the human form, you know with the weak chin and inability to close her mouth. I am not much of a Science Fiction person, but I know you are, so maybe you should be jerking off to this post as she takes over the human race over the radio airwaves with horrible music.

Bonus – Here she is taking over the human race with her vagina….

Posted in:Astronaut|Lady Gaga|Martian|Pantsless