I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

16

Jan

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Take Her Shoes Off of the Day

Kim Kardashian went to try on thousand dollar shoes because she’s rich and excessive but more importantly because fat chicks love shoes and she’s a fat chick, despite popular belief. The reason fat chicks love shoes is simple. It is the one article of clothing they can indulge in that doesn’t make them feel bad about themselves when they try them on. They are the same size that they’ve been since they were 16 and often times they can squeeze into a smaller size than their skinny counterparts. So if you ever roll past a shoe store, you’ll notice the dollar spent on shoes increases based on a girl’s weight. So seeing Kim Kardashian struggle to get her shoes off is not all that surprising, I mean as a fat person I know how hard bending can be, I mean that’s why I try to stick with velcro running shoes, because it makes leaving the house less work, you know with me on the ground trying my hardest to get to the laces, almost always ending up rolling on the floor, using a chair for support and spending way too much time doing one of life’s simple tasks. It is a serious handicap. The difference is that Kim Kardashian has hired help to remove her shoes for her, because I guess that laziness is how she got in this mess. I mean maybe I am jumping to conclusions, maybe she really got herself trapped in these shoes and they needed the Jaws of Life to get her out, like the time I drove into a lamp post while drunk, or maybe her ankles are just swollen like the rest of her. I guess it really doesn’t matter but I’ve gone this far so I might as well post it.

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Shoes

2009

16

Jan

This May Be a Katy Perry’s Self Shot Nude Picture of the Day

Some random dude sent me this picture asking for money to leak them online claiming it was Katy Perry. I don’t have money, but I do have the ability to screenshot and upload pictures to my site, so that’s what I did. I figure if he’s trying to milk this girl’s fame, I might as well milk his offerings, because even if I had money, I would not pay someone to get myself sued….

So if this is real, then it’s a pretty big fucking post, and I’m not just talking about her hips, I mean people everywhere would want to see this. So many people that I would definitely get sued pretty hard over posting the shit, but the guy who emailed me claims this is actually a picture of busty Katy Perry and Her thick bottom half in some self shot, bald pussy, nakedness.

I am not a fan of Katy Perry, she rapes me everyday through the radio. I don’t understand why she is famous, I don’t find her hot or even mildly attractive and unlike the rest of the world, having big tits just isn’t enough to win my heart, but I am a fan of girls who get naked and take pictures of the shit for random guys they don’t know, without the foresight that it will eventually end up on the internet, so Katy Perry or not, these pictures are worth lookin’ at because you can see vagina.

Leave comments as to whether this is her or not because I have a hard enough time recognizing my own family, friends and girls I’ve fucked when I run into them on the street, so I am not the person you’d want identifying a line-up after being raped in a back alley or witnessing a crime, but as far as I’m concerned this is her and that’s all that really matters. Tell your friends.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Naked

2009

16

Jan

stepLINKS of the Day

I watched the George Bush Farewell Address at my one neighbor who doesn’t hate me house. The reason the other crackheads turned on me all started around 4:30 in the morning earlier today, when I forgot my keys and buzzed everyone in the building to get in. One guy took it a little personally, came to the door and bitch slapped me across the face, and still didn’t let me in, so when I eventually got into my house that looks like it’s been hit by a fucking hurricane because none of us clean up after ourselves and the dog just makes things worse by eating rolls of toilet paper, old newspaper, pretty shitting and pissing on everything, including my leg while I was sitting in a chair earlier today, like I’m a fucking toilet, because the fucker doesn’t respect me, but stared me at me the entire time, smiling and knowing exactly what he was doing. Unfortunately, it was my only pair of pants and laundry day is not for a couple of weeks, so I’m gonna really smell of piss for the next little while.

Anyway, I grabbed a 2 x 4 I had lying around and decided to kill the motherfucker who bitch slapped me, so I went to his door, I knocked, got no answer, went back and buzzed him until the cops showed up, asked me why I had a 2 x 4, told them I lost my key and pretended I picked up the 2 x 4 to build my wife a Valentine’s Day present on the way home and they bought it and let me go. Probably because they didn’t know what my life looks like, because if they did they’d know that no guy would ever get her anything for Valentines day…

Now none of that’s got nothing to do with the Bush speech, because I lost interest. Bush for life at least the pubis type.

Here are my links:

I Wish I Met My Wife Here…
GO

Mini Me is Just a Sad Little Honey Pot
GO

Salma Hayek May Have Ruined Her Vagina with a Baby, But the Rest is Fine by Me
GO

Latest Photoshoot from Some FHM Studies Abroad feature- Germany’s Tina Kaiser
GO

Meet The Hot Teenagers Of Korea’s New Pop Group
GO

Vivica A Fox Has Definitely Still Got It
GO

The Theme Song for ’24’ in Japan is Actually Kind of Amazing
GO

Ten of the Best Mother Fucking Movies to that Starred that Samuel L Jackson Mother Fucke
GO

Kasia is Trying Herself All Up
GO

Fun With Porno
GO

This is How You Open a Water Melon…With Your Face
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Lucy Pinder’s Ten Sexiest Pics Ever
GO

Find a Girl to Fuck, Because If Anyone Know Having Sex Alone Sucks, It’s Me
GO

Jessica Biel is So Fucking Average, Seriously, Why is This Chick Famous
GO

Kate Hudson Looks More Like Goldie Hawn Everyday
GO

Karl Lagerfeld is Completely Living in His own World and I Love It
GO

Soledad Fandino
GO

Boobie Rub .Gif is Oh So Hypnotizing
GO

Kendra Wilkinson Fucked Around On Hef, Are You Guys As Shocked as I Am?
GO

A Female Body Builder That Looks Female For Once, and By Female
I Mean Like Her Dick is Bigger Than Mine Is
GO

Evolution of Dance Part 2
GO

Anett is Cooking in the Kitchen
GO

Some Shower Scene that I Predicted that Went a Little Something Like This…
GO

Krystal Steal is Sexy
GO

Found My Wife’s New Haircut
GO

Sponge Bob is Now Rated X
GO

Ashley Skye Shows Off
GO

You Can Use This to Help You Get Sex
GO

Chloe Sevigny Doesn’t Look Completely Disgusting
GO

Molly Sims is Looking Good
GO

Slut Fight on ‘Bad Girls Club’ – VIDEO
GO

Naomi Campbell Down Blouse Throwback
GO

Rhian Sugden Nude Calendar
GO

The Ejaculation Proclimation
GO

Aubrey O’Day Think’s We’re All a Bunch of Meanies
GO

School Girl High Kick
GO

Okay There is a Thing as Boobs That Are Just Way to Huge
GO

How to Sell a Butt Ugly Car
GO

Miranda Kerr is Bikini Ready
GO

Fix Scratched CDs with Bananas and Toothpaste
GO

Okay Brooke Hogan HAD to Have Got a Tit Job
GO

The Best and Worst Moustaches
GO

This is a Funny Mash-Up
GO

You Will Like This Because You Are a Gamer Who Never Leaves Your Moms Basement
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS…

Some Butch Army Chick, Her Pussy and Wild Background of Love…Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Stupid Cleavage
GO

BONUS – GIRLFRIEND’S PANTY VIDEO ON YOUTUBE

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

15

Jan

Paris Hilton is Offensive of the Day

Paris Hilton makes me sick. These pictures of her in her pink Bentley I’ve written about before and it pretty much represents everything I hate about her. She is a tacky bitch who tries to fill the void that is everything about her by buying expensive things that mean absolutely nothing to her because she’s never had to work for anything in her life. She’s taken a nice car and ruined it, like she has to so many things, from teenage girls to Benji Madden not that he was ever a nice thing, but you know what I mean, because she’s a fucking devil. She’s fucking trash, she’s fucking tacky and when people are losing their houses, and so much bad is happening in the world that she could step out of her little princess life and actually do something to help, this kind of behavior is insulting. Let’s hope she drives that shit off a fucking ravine.

Posted in:Disgusting|Paris Hilton|Tacky|The Devil

2009

15

Jan

Halle Berry’s Mom Ass of the Day

Halle Berry is a mom, this is her ass outside a spa. It doesn’t look as tight as you might like an ass you are looking at to be, but we’re not dealing with an 18 year old here, so I guess it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that despite buying a million dollar house near me, she has yet to come hang out there, it seems like all those nights hiking in the woods for a hot anal sex scene with a mom ass because her mom pussy is too loose to pleasure his white penis exclusive were nothing but a waste of time, because all I’d find was her model boyfriend’s family sleeping and using the facility like a summer cottage they won in the fucking lottery that is having their son marry and knock up a celebrity.

Posted in:Ass|Halle Berry|Mom

2009

15

Jan

Some Wholesome Miley Cyrus Riding Her Bike of the Day

Here is a video of the Cyrus family because I feel like death and figure I might as well make you suffer with me.

I like how she plays the wholesome thing riding the bike with her friends, like she doesn’t get drunk and ride her friends like they were a bike seat without a seat when no one is looking.

I like that when she sees her boyfriend they give each other the “pound” with their fists instead of grabbing him by the balls like she does when no one is looking.

I like how this 21 year old has to pretend he’s fucking 15 to make their creepy union seem less creepy. It’s like watching a pedophile workin’ the easy bake oven at the toy store, if you know what I mean. Sure older people take bike rides, but you can tell this dude would rather be out gambling drinking and doing anything but riding his bike like a teenage girl on her way to the mall, but I guess it’s a small price to pay for his career.

Either way, she’s at that awkward crossroads age where her hormones want dick but society and her publicist want her to stay 13 forever because it makes them all lots of money because apparently playing Hannah Montana when she’s 30 will be creepy as fuck.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Wholesome

2009

15

Jan

Some New Psycho Show Called 13: Fear is Real of the Day

I had a really messy fucking night last night. I drank far too fucking much, woke up at 2 in the afternoon and have been struggling writing this site.

I ended up going to the Lil Wayne concert, someone gave me free tickets, not any of the people I asked for free tickets like Wayne’s label, Wayne’s PR people, or the people throwing the event, but a good friend of mine who had a couple extra lying around. The guy was good, I expected the show to be more hardcore based on the riot police that were out on surveillance, but it turned out to be as gangster as a Super Sweet 16 party peppered with a few black dudes to give the party some flavor.

Maybe it’s because black dudes don’t like paying the ridiculous ticket price, maybe all the white kids beat them to it, but they should, because those who did left happy, because Wayne left every white girl horny as fuck and craving black cock so much that they hit on any black dude they can black dudes never turn down white pussy.

There was a time when hip hop shows were the scariest fucking thing. You’d walk into a dingy reggae hall, you’d be the only Mexican in the room, that was before realizing that you are probably the only Mexican in the city because Mexicans don’t like the cold. The music would be angry, the people at the show would be angry. There would be fights, stabbings, shootings, and the only pussy in the room would be random black girls who were ready to rip off your little spic dick. You’d get drunk after accepting that you probably weren’t going to come out alive and figured you’d make the best of your final moments.

Speaking of fear, here’s a the full episode of this insane show to prove that fear is real or something because I didn’t bother watching it. I guess that I am scared of everything except giving out free publicity to people who don’t pay me like CW network.

Posted in:Reality TV

2009

15

Jan

Elijah Wood’s Girlfriend of the Day

If you’re wondering who Elijah Wood is fucking, and I know you are, this is her. I love the picture of her patting him on the back like a big brother would after losing the game. I wonder if this kind of thing happens when her pre-mature ejaculates during sex, or when he can’t get it up because his troll ass drank one too many drinks for his little liver to process, you know where she get’s up and pats him on the back, gives him a simulated punch to the jaw and re-assures him that there will always be a next time and that he tried his best and that’s all that matters buddy. If you know what I mean….

Posted in:Elijah Wood|Girlfriend

2009

15

Jan

Haylie Duff Taking Out the Trash of the Day

I saw these pictures and the caption read something like “Haylie Duff Needs a Personal Assistant to Take Out Her Trash” or some shit implying that she was above taking out the fucking trash. The person who wrote is obviously a fucking idiot, who is confused and thinks this bitch is more important than she is because she may or may not have been on TV once. I always thought she was just her sister’s personal assistant, and even at that, taking out her sister’s trash is not part of how she gets paid, because I know if I was a personal assistants and asked to take the fucking trash out, I’d take a shit in my bosses bed. Not that I am above taking out the garbage, sure I am more into letting it pile in the corner of my one room hell I call home until it’s disgusting rotting food smell masks my wife’s stench but I am against being demeaned by taking out other people’s garbage and clean up their messes like I am some kind of piece of shit.

Posted in:Haylie Duff|Trash

2009

15

Jan

Lindsay Lohan is an Asshole of the Day

So Lohan’s people contacted me today to tell me that Lindsay doesn’t want me going to Sam Ronson’s show in Montreal next week. I didn’t even know he had a fucking show next week. He also plays at all these clubs that I can’t get into so even if I had known, I would have had no fucking plan on going. But I guess in this self absorbed celebrity minds, everything is about them.

I guess it’s funny that Lohan is spending time reaching out to useless people like myself, for obvious self promotion, or maybe it’s all in efforts to keep a short leash on Ronson because she doesn’t work and has a lot of time on her hands. I pretty much told them that we’re not in high school and she can reach out and contact me herself if she has rules set up for me, so that I can laugh in her face and record it. I also said that until she’s making me 3,000,000 dollars a year, I’m pretty much independent and can do whatever the fuck I want and she has no fucking right trying to dictate what I do or where I go. I am pretty insulted that they’d even try to pull that shit on me because it is assuming that I give a shit, which I don’t. Sure, if this was 5 years ago when I was just starting out and Lohan was in her prime, I’d be giving myself high fives for breaking down the walls between nobody and celebrity and I’d feel like I was actually getting out there and not doing this for no reason, but the truth is that celebrities are nobodies too, so I don’t get phased by them but I do get angry when cunts try telling me what to do.

My prediction is they are both on drugs. I just don’t know what drugs they are on. I wasn’t going to write this post, but I am hungover, like seriously fucking hungover and feel like I am dying so I figured why not share the stupidity that is these lesbians.

That said. I still think Lohan is awesome and I want to play connect the dots with my cum and her freckles while Ronson jerks off in the corner….


Posted in:Asshole|Lindsay Lohan