Coleen Rooney’s still in her bikini, this is day three of me watching the little pouch of fat above her bikini bottoms. I feel like we’ve become friends, like when I look at the picture shit’s talking to me, asking me advice and wondering what it should do later tonight, because it’s bored. I feel like it’d be good company, you know to grab a drink with, maybe rub a little, or bounce quarters off of, but I hear Coleen Rooney’s got no plan to let the fucking thing venture off on its own, she’s greedy cunt and she insists on keeping it all for herself to play with, forcing me to only maintain this love affair through pictures, if you know what I mean.
Kim Kardashian in work-out gear is the same thing as an anorexic girl at an all you can eat buffet. It just doesn’t make sense to me, because she’s fat. The fact that she’s got a work-out DVD coming out is like an anorexic landing a cooking show. I am sure there are better analogies, but today’s not a good day, especially after writing about this useless bitch with about as much substance as my dog’s shit, that seems to have an endless supply, but always stinks, if anything I should win a fucking award for trying to come up with something out of nothing for the last 4 or 5 years….
Rod Stewart likes big girls, because he’s short. It’s a typical small man syndrome situation, where the small man spends his teenage years jerking off to the hot girls in his class, then decides that he’s tired of the rejection, gets successful and runs after all the tall girls he otherwise couldn’t have, usually being manly lookin’ models, because anyone who sings the shit he sings has got to be gay, but that’s not good for his career, so he goes for girls who know just how to strap on and fuck the shit out of him in his extended king sized bed he got from the same supplier as Shaq and when he’s done he climbs up and down her like a mountain climber trying to conquer a mountain.
I hate Tila Tequila, which is probably expected since I hate most people. There’s something about her that makes me feel there is something seriously wrong with the world. I don’t understand how she can have a career and the attention from the paparazzi, her own show with MTV, book deals, hosting parties and making lots of money doing shit like that for being a half naked asian with fake tits.
Her milking this lesbian shit because she’s figured out that it gets her more airtime and secures her brand, offends me. Sure, this new goth chick is hotter than the last pussy she pretended to date, but so is the shit smear on my toilet seat that’s been there all week, because she was fucking hideous.
Her bending down to this girl’s pussy area and sticking her tongue out to give us the fantasy of what is going to go on in the bedroom or club bathroom is about as attractive as a chick mimicking a blowjob by air-jerking a dick and opening her mouth, the type of thing you’d expect from a fat chick who doesn’t know how to seduce.
Shit’s all about being subtle, it’s about being sexy, coming out and doing this shit just makes you look like a fucking joke, but for some reason, she gets more work and attention from it, and that bothers me. Not to mention, I have a feeling they aren’t even fucking and this is just a cry for more attention which makes the whole thing that much worse…
Sure this post had no point, because I know you love this kind of fake slut behavior so look at the pics.
I had the pleasure of watching the last 5 minutes of American Idol at a friend’s house. Yes, despite popular belief, I do have a couple friends and they do let me in their houses, sometimes. I think I wrote that I am surprised this shit is still on the air and that Americans are still watching it. Sure, you elected Bush to office after his first term and I am sure have done a whole lot of other fucking stupid shit, but this just doesn’t make sense to me. Watching the audition process is more like watching the shitty auditions, maybe some of us want to hear people who can sing, instead of watch a show milk the bad auditions that they set up, as hard as they fucking can. I like how Ford, Coca Cola and whoever else sponsors the shit out of that show and lines Simon’s British pockets support laughing at people with serious disorder, whether it is autism or apergers or just fuckin’ mental illness, they aren’t right and mocking them, crushing them and spitting them out for America offends me.
On a side note, the new judge reminds me of the kind of girl you’d find drunk at the bar, falling off a stool, her hair and make-up a mess, a cigarette hanging from her mouth backwards, talking all kinds of shit about how bad she wants to fuck, before lifting up her skirt, grabbing her cunt for the bar tender who just wants her to leave the fucking place, before pissing herself and puking all over the bar at the same fucking time. She’s like a horny, raspy motherfucker, who is a condescending mess threatened by younger more talented people than her. I’d totally fuck her.
Yes, I just wrote about American Idol. I should hang myself from my shower curtain, unfortunately, we don’t have a shower curtain.
Here are my links.
Support the Site By Getting Girls To FIst Each Other… GO
Bad Girl’s Club Can’t Suck Dick and Apologizes….Pathetic GO
The Fake KKK from Yesterday Issue an Apology Because they are Pussies…
On a Side Note – Bill O’Reilly and Dennis Miller Tell Jay-Z and Young Jeezy Their Time is Up as Being Inspiration to Black People Because Someone With Substance Has Stepped Up.
Her name is Rihanna, she’s pretty much the biggest thing in music, I mean unless you count Beyonce’s fat ass, but that’s a different kind of big that comes from eating too much Popeye’s chicken, the same Popeye’s chicken that lead to Beyonce’s husband running off to the islands to find new pussy that doesn’t looks and smell like cottage cheese and instead he molded this superstar.
So I guess I should be thanking Popeye’s chicken for making Rihanna happen and for making Beyonce fall from her throne because she broke the fucking thing at a family function. I usually try my best to not thank fast food companies, since they are the devil and ruined my wife’s ass and in turn my sex life, but I guess Rihanna and my wife’s premature impending death proves that they do some good, so don’t believe all the negative publicity they get….and look at Rihanna’s cleavage.
His name is Paul Daniels and you have no idea who he is because he is from the UK and that’s like another planet to your ignorant ass. Don’t take it personally because I didn’t know who he was either, but that’s not saying much, because sometimes I don’t even know who’s lookin’ back at me when I look in the mirror. I am just being dramatic. It happens. But if you wanted to know, he’s some magician, you know, something you’d expect to be a virgin’s sport, and he’s managed to get pretty rich off the shit. At least rich enough to cheat on his first wife with his assistant named Debbie McGee who is in the pictures with him.
I did a little Wikipedia search as I do and found out that he’s got something to prove, you know with being a magician and all, and he has been spoken openly about his sexual conquests, stating that he’s banged over 300 women, and letting us all know he’s gone a long way from practicing magic tricks throughout highschool, when other people were getting their dick sucked in their horse drawn carriages.
He also made this statement about his wife that I’d like to leave you with as you click on her picture to get a better look at her and her teeth…
“Once I got upstairs, Debbie was lying stark naked on the bed – eat your heart out fellas! She was wearing the sort of sleeping blindfold you get on long-haul flights. Printed on it was Do Not Disturb. But further down her body she had a sign that said Disturb”
Disturbed is right…..at least it’s what I am feeling right now and that may or may not have anything to do with these pictures, it seems to be a daily activity of mine, so I’m not pointing any fingers here. I’m just glad he didn’t talk about pulling a rabbit out of her cunt
Coleen Rooney is still chubby in her bikini on her permanent vacation. I got nothing to say about this doughy bitch, other than that I haven’t eaten all day, I’ve been too fucking lazy, something I have a feeling she’s never too lazy to do despite how lazy she may look.
I am in Canada and by being in Canada, surrounded by ice, there’s really only one sport that can get me off and that’s Figure Skating. A few years ago, I found a TV in the dumpster, brought it home, plugged it in and got one channel. During the cold, dark, winter months, the only thing I could jerk off to was their programming. Unfortunately, I was left hanging for a good part of the week, but I knew that when the weekend rolled around, I’d have some solid figure skating competitions to jerk off to. I’d watch these girls spin around in their elaborate costumes, parading their thick skating panties and ass cheeks to the world to appreciate when there was nothing better to appreciate out there. This love affair went on a good couple of years before I got drunk and threw the TV out the window because the show that was on was violating me in ways figure skaters never did, but I will always remember those shameful afternoons, with my dick in my hand watching the ice dance…no matter how bad I wanted it, not once did a bitch’s nipple come out of her dress, but yesterday, that all changed as this Russian skater showed the world her tit, 8 years too late….
