I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

11

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

So I accidentally got invited to some denim event…..see photo above…..because I guess someone put me on a list of relevant media people to invite to fashion events as some kind of joke….anyway some poor intern emailed me this:

Hi!

I apologize in advance if you are not located anywhere near New York, and receive this invite, as it is hard to tell where some are based. If you are indeed in or around the NYC area, and would like to attend please let me know what time you’d like to come in.

So I answered her pretending that she was the ass in the flyer…..

hot asssssss
you have no idea the things I would do to that ass
what I wouldn’t to to douse those jeans in gasoline and burn them off you just to get to that ass
i will turn your ass into DJ AM.
i love you

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

She didn’t get the joke….

I’m sorry – what?

And I closed it like this….

What do you mean what? You just sent me a pic of your ass in jeans.
I was just saying you have a hot ass and that I love you.
Why you acting like you have no idea what I am talking about?
why you making me feel like I date raped you?
I hate why girls play that “I just cockteased the shit out of you and now you’re sexually harrassing me you pig” bullshit….
motherfucker.

With Love, 
Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

I kinda feel bad, I am sure she doesn’t realize I am just fucking with her, I can expect no more invites to fashion events I guess….I always ruin things….

Here are my links:

Carrie Fisher Sounds Like She Knows How to Party
GO

Motorcycles Belong OUTSIDE Dipshit
GO

Lohan Lesbian Cleavage
GO

Meet the Sluts of Miss World
GO

I Always Assumed Scientologists Hated Christmas, Like The Jews
But Hey, What Do I Know?
GO

Nicky Hilton Kind of Upskirt
GO

This Will Make You Feel Slightly Less Pathetic
GO

Rebecca Loos Naked in Zoo…..
GO

The Hottest Greek Women Ever
GO

The 10 Hottest MMA Girls of All Time
GO

Kim Basinger is Looking Good at 55
GO

Rinaldo’s Hot Ex is in a Calendar Naked of the Day
GO

Demi Lovato of Disney Fame is a CUTTER!!!! And we love Jailbait with a Broken Soul!!!!!
GO

A Blonde and Brunette is My Kind of Combo
GO

More Whores From Rock of Love
GO

Nicole Arbour Has a Calendar
GO

I’m Sorry, But Dogs ARe Fucking Stupid, and This is Proof
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

The 10 Greatest Fastfood Sides of All Time
GO

Cate Blanchette is Pretty Smokin’ For an Old Bitch
GO

I Don’t Know What She’s Wearing but This Model Agness Deyn is Pretty Hot
GO

I Gotta Hand It the Girl, Britney Done Good
GO

The Recession is Even Hitting the North Pole
GO

Beach Gymnast Takes Out Chick in a Bikini
GO

Invent Destiny!!!
GO

The Spank Bank is One Bank The Recession Won’t Touch
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Red Head Dream Girl
GO

Tribute to Mrs. Clause
GO

Ricky Martin and the Joy of Gay
GO

Lovely Lady Has Some Alone Time
GO

Katie Holmes Has Herpes
GO

Scott Ruffalo is Dead, and It’s His Own Fault
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Tow Truck Gets PWNT!
GO

Naked Chicks and Guns
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Attention Whore!!
GO

Everyone Hates Naomi Campbell
GO

Gina Novak is in the Woods
GO

Let’s Say Goodbye to the Warm Weather the Only Way We Know How
GO

Madonna Needs to Learn to Be a Bit More Frugal
GO

Waste Time Here
GO

Now THAT’S How You Propose to Someone

GO

Some Guy’s Got A Freakishly Weird Second Asshole…
GO

Jack Sparrow Fired from Disneyland Because They Were Getting Flashed By Teenage Girls
GO

Topless Lady in TIght Bikini Bottoms Doing a Dance….Video…
GO

Her Name is Nikkala Stott and She’s Got Hot Tits….
GO

Pole Dance How To
GO

And This is Just Wrong
GO

Asian Dance Party
GO

Because Sluts Are One of Those Things You Just Can’t Get Enough Of
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

This Girl Didn’t Password Her Photobucket So Here Are Her Tits…
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

10

Dec

Miley Cyrus and Her Really Ugly Sister are Hipster Poser Trash of the Day

There are a few problems with these pictures of Miley Cyrus and her sister walking down the street.

Firstly, they have secured something I’ve always been saying and that is that Urban Outfitters is some try hard hipster shit, and anything with the name Urban in it is a lie designed for suburban people willing to spend 100 dollars on a shirt they got at some homeless shelter, not that I shop or that I care, but whenever I walk by the shit and shit these tight jean wearing euro-trash in their high tops I get mad and I really don’t know why but little things piss me off.

Secondly, Miley’s sister in her ironic hipster bullshit attitude is wearing a vintage Mickey Mouse shirt, because Mickey Mouse is paying for their shit, because everyone knows that Billy Ray’s got no more money left from Achy Breaky Heart because he used it to buy his wife and fuel his cocaine addiction.

Lastly, take a look at this girls face, she’s an ugly version of an ugly Miley and it’s scaring the fucking shit out of me. The real question is whether she will ever find love lookin’ like the bottom of a homeless man’s rotten shoe. I didn’t know Miley even had a fucking sister and I guess if I was Miley, I’d keep this bitch locked away in the basement and as far from the spotlight as possible too because she’s embarrassing to admit you’re related to and like most retarded siblings, you’d want to protect them from the negative attention they will bring to you and your inflated career.

Either way, with a face like that, she’s pretty much got no choice but to pull that hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit because for some reason hipster, indy rock, electro, LA, art fag bullshit guys are bisexual and more into a girl for her fake substance than her hot body, or hot face that you can look into without staring at awkwardly while laughing/crying/throwing up….and seem to think asymmetrical faces are as hype as asymmetrical hair….and that’s enough of this post…

Posted in:Hipster|Miley Cyrus|Trash

2008

10

Dec

Chelsea Lately Gets Her Ass Slapped by Akon of the Day

I don’t watch TV and if I did, I am pretty sure I wouldn’t watch “E!”. I have seen some clips of this chick Chelsea Handler doing some interviews and she’s pretty funny in a sarcastic, Jewish cuntway. The kind of bitter hag you meet outside a hotel bar huffing on a cigarette after drinking a few too many martinis. Her hair a mess, her blouse unbuttoned, her panties in her purse from earlier in the night when she tried to show the waiter her pussy to seduce him before realizing he was gay, but still ready to show you or anyone with a dick how empowered she actually is in her single, self-made, confident and miserable life by taking you upstairs to have her way with you. Treating you like you’re some kind of cheap whore, like the roles of society have been reversed, when you’re feeling like you just won the lottery and secured the easiest pussy ever, until she starts crying as soon as she cums because all she really wants is a baby….

Either way here is a video of Chelsea Handler dealing with Akon and letting him slap her ass 3 minutes in.

Posted in:Akon|Ass Slap|Chelsea Hander

2008

10

Dec

Celine Dion’s Got a Tight Upskirt of the Day

The thing I like about Celine Dion, other than the fact that she’s got the voice of an angel and is someone I can always turn to when I am feeling down and out and need a pick me up that really secures that I should go through with the suicide I’ve elaborately planned, is that she fucked her neighbor when she was 14, poor and living in small town Quebec and that gives me hope that in a few years, I’ll be able to find my own little money maker down in my ghetto neighborhood and I can just use Celine Dion’s success as part of my sales pitch to her drunk, hurting parents as to why they should let their daughter sit on my face….it’s a lot less criminal than it sounds, in small town Quebec most 14 year olds are already mothers of 5. Either way, here’s Celine Dion’s hot panties, because no matter how old she gets, behind those white walls is a violated teenage girl success story…

Posted in:Celine Dion|Upskirt

2008

10

Dec

Miley Cyrus Goes for a Drive of the Day

I realize why this Hollywood.tv shit is free to use YouTube paparazzi video, instead of the other paparazzi shit that is too expensive for my blood and I am not just saying that because I am poor, I am saying that because they are seriously not Wal Mart prices, because I guess they think they’re Hollywood and Hollywood is just on a whole other level of expensive. It’s because their shit may be exclusive enough and they may be getting out into the depths of Hollywood next to the TMZ people and the other assholes who run paparazzi companies but their videos are always missing a little fuckin’ edginess.

Take this video of freshly learner permitted Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV Crossover that she probably got for free from Toyota as a training car before getting a real car, there is not one single frame in the video where you actually see Miley Cyrus driving at all. All you see is a car driving and pulling into a fucking house making me wonder why the fuck am I watching a Miley Cyrus driving her Toyota SUV video in the first fucking place, but in my defense, I hate this bitch and only did it in hopes of seeing her drive off a fuckin’ cliff…I guess we can only wait until she gets her real license and does a little drinking and driving on her own, so let’s just hope she doesn’t listen to all her advisors, and realizes the faster she drives and the more she drinks, the more exhilerating the rush is…….especially on really badly lit winding roads….

Posted in:Driver|Miley Cyrus

2008

10

Dec

Hilary Duff is a Titty Cutter of the Day

Hilary Duff is speaking my language….there’s nothing sexier than a blade to a perky young tit…at least that’s what this hockey player once told me when I was working for a cleaning company that happened to have the contract for the Montreal Canadiens changing room and where I’d happen to hear conversations these fucking guys would have about how they mistreat women, they’d go off about gangbangs on the road, and this one dude would only fuck the girls he was cheating on his wife with up the ass because that didn’t count as cheating, and another dude would talk about sucking his cum out of some groupy’s pussy, and the shit just got weirder and weirder, and was borderline rapist and abusive shit, like I am talking a serious boys club who treat whores like whores and last time I checked, Hilary Duff was dating a hockey player so if you’re wondering what happened to her tit….you should see her pussy. Turns out skates don’t make good dildos.

Posted in:cleavage|Cut|Hilary Duff

2008

10

Dec

Katy Perry is a Media Whore of the Day

In my state of near death, I have been really trying to figure out how the world works and why people like Katy Perry have a career and make all kinds of money while having the world watch them like they are interesting. Her songs are obnoxious and rape me, but maybe I am the only one that feels that way. When I see her perform, I am disgusted by her body and her face, but when someone asks me what is ugly about her, I don’t really have an answer, because I can’t just say her nose, or her middle-aged motherly guy, I just am turned off by the whole fucking package.

Then I get sent in this video of her hanging with Perez Hilton and I realize the key to her success is sucking up to the right people. Now I am not saying Perez Hilton is the right person, but if she takes the time to spend time with him, making him feel like he’s relevant, despite just being a blogger and I don’t care how many millions of dollars he makes, he’s still just a fucking blogger and he knows he’s just a fucking blogger who happened to get lucky and I will never attribute his success to talent or vision, but timing and hours of work put into his pink haired world….but that’s not the point…the point is that Katy Perry befriends the blogger who has a site that reaches the most 14 year old girls out there and that means he will promote everything and anything she does….and that is step one to having a third hit, another album and a few years in the spotlight, despite being boring, talentless and all part of being a fake piece of shit whore….

The good news is that here’s her boyfriend’s song about cheating on her….because it’s nice knowing even he knows she’s not worth turning down other pussy for….sure his song may not be true to life…but it’s nice to think her personal life is a mess….

Posted in:Katy Perry|Media Whore

2008

10

Dec

Khloe Kardashian for PETA of the Day

PETA is all about the shock value to get their message of being kind to animals across, they really push the limits, so I wasn’t surprised when I saw these pictures of naked Kardashian beast in their ads, I mean she is the closest human I can think of to an animal, but it was a little disappointing, because the pictures of slaughtered animals are easier to jerk off to, not because I am a disturbed person, but because a naked Khloe Kardashian forces me to make these unethical choices….so I’m gonna go turn my wife’s dog into a pair of mittens by doing an old native ritual I was taught back in my gas huffing days, and it’s all PETA’s fault….

Posted in:Khloe Kardashian|Naked|PETA

2008

09

Dec

stepLINKS of the Day

I know you don’t give a fuck about me, or the fact that my ass is pissing, and that my farts are 8 minutes long, because if I was you, I wouldn’t care either. I’d actually find it disgusting and ask you why the fuck you were telling me about that shit. Maybe you’ll be happy to know that today the Bold and the Beautiful was spent in the mogue, because one of the younger characters died, which is soap opera code for got a new fucking job and they had to write her off the fuckin’ show, but the good news is, like all soap opera stars who get cocky and think they can make it in the mainstream, she’ll be back when the mortgage payment needs to be made….I only have the TV for one more day, so I better get this stomach flu I call liver failure out of my fucking system, it’s fucking up

Here’s some links from around the internet from sites that aren’t sick. Assholes.

Lindsay Lohan Dressed Like Sam Ronson in Her Lesbian Boots and Lesbian Smurf Hat and Lesbian Ripped Jeans….Sucking Her Lesbian Finger….Lesbian…
GO

Alien Prank Goes Bad
GO

Holly Madison is Average At Best
GO

Megan Fox Almost Makes My Dick Hard. Almost
GO

Alyssa Milano See Through Thong Throwback
GO

Melisa is Worth Checking Out
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Now That’s What I Call a Recovery
GO

Tila Tequila’s Tits Best Moments Of 2008
GO

Jessica Biel Is Actually Looking Alright For Once
GO

Star Wars Accapella, You Fucking Nerd
GO

Some Myspace Decisions Are Harder Than Other
GO

I Need More Amanda Bynes
GO

Lady GaGa is Fucking Ugly and Her Music Sucks
GO

Jay Leno And His Chin Are Staying Put For Now
GO

There’s Nothing Like the Holidays
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Lohan Sells Leggings and Acts Crazy at Nordstrom
GO

What’s In the Bag?
GO

Sled Jump/Head Smash
GO

How About a Walrus Playing the Saxaphone?
GO

Christina Ricci is Pinching Her Nipples
GO

Tom Cruise Gives the Spencer Pratt Marriage Advice in The Weirdest Video of the Day
GO

A Wunder Boner Will Make Your Day Better
GO

Sybilla is One Gift You Will Def Want to Unwrap On Christmas
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Because Two Girls Are Better Than One
GO

Well Now We See Which Side of the Family Britney Inhertited CRAZY From
GO

Marc Ruffalo’s Wife/GF is a Smokin’ Hot. Oh, and His Brother Also Got Murdered
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

So THAT’S What Happens After an F-18 Crashes
GO

And This is What Happens What You Light Yourself on Fire
You Know, In Case You Weren’t Sure
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart – Those Are Some Serious Titties….
GO

Some Token Kodak Moments
GO

Angelique Boyer is a Mexican Actress os Some Shit
GO

Destiny Makes Post It Notes Amazing
GO

Alright Let’s Settles This Once and For All
GO

If Tyra Banks is Among the Smartest People On TV, I Am Sober, and You Are Not a Virgin
GO

Suzanne Stokes Brings Some Holiday Cheer
GO

As Much As I Hate to Admit It, Kid Rock Has a Point
GO

Breathing Fire on the Mexican Border For Change is Better Than Sucking Cocks in a Brothel
GO

In Case You Missed It, Here is 1 Guy, 1 Cup
GO

Some Cute Teen Getting Naked and Showing Off Her Tiny Body on Webcam
GO

Get Yourself a Teen Naked and Showing Off Her Tiny Body on Webcam
GO

Some Montreal Slut I’ve Never Met…Giving me the Sex Eyes…I Have That Affect on Women When I am Lookin’ At Pictures of Them Like The Creep That I Am….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

09

Dec

Marisa Tomei is Naked in The Wrestler of the Day


(FULL MOVIE) The Wrestler (2008)Watch a funny movie here

Marisa Tomei plays the stripper girlfriend of washed up wrestler Mickey Rourke in a movie called The Wrestler. As a stripper she gets naked, as the girlfriend of Mickey Rourke she commits suicide. I don’t know if that’s the actual storyline, but I do know that her 44 year old body was pretty pissed off on set when Mickey Rourke’s face ate all the Botox.

These screencaps do nothing for me, but I think that’s just because I smell and I feel like shit, or maybe it’s because she’s old, she’s done and these are shitty quality. Whenever I am sick, I have trouble figuring these things out.

Posted in:Marisa Tomei|The Wrestler