I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

Nov

Beyonce Was Fat at the AMA’s of the Day

Being the most relevant site on the internet that nobody reads, I had the pleasure of not being invited to the AMAs. I did watch them at my neighbor’s house on HD and it was as bad as I expected it to be. I mean for as long as I can remember, it’s always been this piece of shit award show, pretty much the lowest quality award show, not that any award show is really quality, but this Dick Clark production always offended me for being an industry jerk off fest, but it never offended me as much as it did last night, because they allowed Beyonce on stage in her leotard in HD.

Sure, they had a strobe light to diffuse the affect of her disgustingness, and sure she was in a bunch of pairs of Spanx, and sure she had some support pantyhose on to act like cheese cloth holding in the cottage cheese, but I still saw a lot more shakin’ than I wanted to and if she had to make an acceptance speech for having the privilege to make ABC the least wholesome and family oriented than it has ever been by doing a dance number she stole from an above 40 year old mom’s aerobic class back in ’89, she probably would have thanked a few too many fried chicken meals, Rihanna for giving her a new hunger and a desperate need to compete even if it is a battle she will not win, she’s still holdin’ on like an old athlete refusing to retire and a delusion that she’s had by constant re-affirmation that she’s hot and obviously the lord and savior Jesus Christ for watching over her, but that’s just a black thang.

Good morning, welcome to my site on the beginning of this glorious American Thanksgiving week.

BONUS – Beyonce Performing in Pictures…Because the Video Wasn’t Fat Enough…

Bonus – Rihanna’s Performance, because she won, no matter how hard Beyonce tried….

Posted in:AMAs|Beyonce|Fat|Rihanna

2008

22

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

I don’t get hate mail anymore. That means I am not doing my job properl, not that this is my job, but you know what I mean. People are over it and not bothering with me and I used to get at least 5 a day, and now nothing. I miss it. I’m like the annoying kid in the corner who is finally being ignored and I blame the economy.

Here are my links…

Because I Know There is No Chance You’re Going Out On a Real Date Tonight
GO

Okay This Lohan/Ronson Thing is Getting Out Of Hand
GO

Here’s a Trailer For Some Show That is Going to Be a Piece Of Shit
Which Proves Even More So Why I Hate Television
GO

Aria Giovanni Cooks a Boiled Egg Video Weirdness….
GO

Granny Meox Mix Grosses Me the Fuck Out
GO

Meadow Soprano is Letting that Fat Dude From Entourage Stick His Peen in Her
GO

Fox News Upskirt Throwback
GO

The History of Kim Kardashian Ass Shots
GO

Christina Aguilera Take Her Tranny Ass Down the Block
GO

Tricia Helfer is Fucking Ugly
GO

Elisabetta Gregoraci Will Make Your Boner Tingle
GO

Will It Blend? ihone 3G Edition
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

I Really Fucking Hate Katy Perry
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Surprise!! Angelina Jolie Manipulates the Media to Her Advantage
GO

How About a Tara Reid Drinking Game
GO

Women Gets Hit By Motorcycle
GO

Fuck You Oprah
GO

The Wrestler is Probably Gona Suck, But Maybe Marisa Tomei Will Get Naked
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Sarah Palin Celebrates Thanksgiving
…By Having a Turkey Slaughtered In The Background Of Her Interview
GO

Britney Spears is Impersonating Her Dad
GO

Memphis Monroe is Delicious
GO

Hottie and a Dildo
GO

Guy Eats 200 Worms
GO

Larry King is a Genius, And By a Genius, I Mean He Must Have a Fucking Brick For a Brain
GO

Would Taylor Swift Shut Up Already About The God Damn Jonas Brother She Dated
GO

Rosie O’Donnel is Disgusting of the Day
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

If the World is in Economic Crisis, Nobody Told Dubai
GO

How To Run The Country By George Bush
GO

Tricked by the Janitor!
GO

Celebrity Side Boob Gallery
GO

Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
GO

Jennifer Hawkins Looks Like a Real Doll
GO

Comedy Shows in Russia Are Awesome
GO

Kanye West Needs to Be Punched In the Face
GO

Shut the Fuck Up Britney Spears, You Had a Free Ride and You Fucking Blew It
GO

Because I Believe You Need to Be Honest About Things
GO

A Little Kimmy Gibbler Update
GO

Yes, I Admit It. I Like Claymation
GO

Emily Elizabeth Rides a Peterbilt
GO

Aishwarya Rai is One Bollywood Star I Want a Piece Of
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Go Into the Tiger Pen
GO

Q & A with Monster Khloe Kardashian
GO

Dos and Donts of Selling things on QVC
GO

Best Strapless Bra Instructional Video
GO

Nerdcore 2009 Calendar Release Party
GO

2009 Pirelli Calendar Pictures…
GO

Danielle Lloyd’s 2009 Calendar Pictures…
GO

Celebrity Guess Who….
GO

Elvis in a Post-Humanous Video with Martina McBride Singing Blue Christmas…Something You’re Probably Used To….
GO

Understand Texas Slang
GO

Dildo Record Breaker
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Girl and her Vagina
GO

Some Tits in Yellow
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

21

Nov

Ashlee Simpson Names Her Baby Something Stupid of the Day

Bronx Mowgli Wentz. I call brown skinned people Mowgli when I am in bars drunk and they annoy me when I’m trying to move in and get a drink, you know like “Hey, Mowgli, you’re not perched on your tree, make a fucking move” and the shit usually ends badly, with me called a racist and them trying to fight me with their Jungle moves, while I’m trying to explain that someone told me their name was Mowgli, you know diverting the attention to some other drunk guy, before slipping away, because I don’t like getting in fights, especially not by someone raised by fucking wolves….Either way, it some artistic statement of some bi-sexual guy who takes himself too seriously, and I think it’s appropriate since their relationship is just as big of a joke as the name they chose for their kid.

I guess that makes Jessica Simpson a crazed, jealous aunt, so her uterus will be out on the prowl pretty fucking soon, when she sees her dad’s attention diverted from her to her sister, the only upsetting news for Joe was that Ashlee didn’t have a girl, because he’s way more into touching and exploiting little girls than boys, so it’s safe to say, Jessica’s been givin’ the task to make her daddy some new talent…….

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Baby

2008

21

Nov

The Video That Ruined Me of the Day

Some twisted kid videotapes his fat mom on her disabled toilet and the whole thing fucking disgusts me. Sure, it reminds me of my daily chores on my wife’s ass, and maybe that’s why I find this so fucking sick, or maybe it’s the shit he’s saying to his white trash mom, it’s like they’re the kind of family you hear about on the news, where the son rapes his momma and she can’t do nothin’ bout it cuz her legs don’t work real good no more…if you know what I mean….this is definitely the gateway to inbred babies….

Bonus – Harly Peein’….Because it was listed as a related video…..and I was already done, I already wiped.

Posted in:Fat Mom|Toilet

2008

21

Nov

Hefner Gets Cake Served To Him By a Naked Pam Anderson of the Day

I guess having a 40 year old Pam Anderson surprising Hef naked, showing off her retarded fake tits and kissing him on the mouth like he’s not a 82 year old, is not that big of a deal, considering he pretty much made her fucking career by having her get naked, like he’s done time and time again for other sluts over the course of his lifetime. At least he’s got enough of a perspective to realize that there’s really nothing for him to wish for, he’s got money, all the hottest pussy in the world, he’s healthy, I mean he’s pretty much had this amazing life and lives this amazing lifestyle that people wish they had….and I find the whole thing totally overrated, I mean sure he has Pam Anderson getting naked for him, but I get girls naked for me too, sure, I don’t have to bother with actually having to talk to them, or compliment her, or make them lots of money, because I do it all here from my command center shitty computer, amongst my garbage and dirty clothes and the girls don’t know I exist, because I’m just watching their videos, but it’s better that way, because if I tried to pull that shit in person, no girls would fall for it…Either way, Watch the Video. Even though it’s OLD.

Posted in:Birthday|Hugh Hefner|Playboy

2008

21

Nov

Miley Cyrus is Wholesome with Her Boyfriend of the Day

The only thing that isn’t wholesome about Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend going on a bike ride to grab an ice cream or a milkshake is knowing that she’s going to be spread out over her bed with this fame hungry using model’s dick trying to find the remnants of cookie dough still in her stomach because they do it in the bum, Jesus approves because they stay virginal, and Fame Fucker can handle it because the dirty shit dick gives him psychological serenity and lets him feel like he’s not letting his homo brethren down…

We all know what you’re up to Justin…because no one in their right mind would hang out with this annoying crazy bitch…without incentive….

Posted in:Fame Whore|Miley Cyrus

2008

21

Nov

Sarah Silverman is Fucking Ugly of the Day

Thank god they are funny, or that people think they are funny, because I don’t find them funny, but they are fucking ugly….maybe half of the laughs they get are from people awkwardly trying to process the mess that they are lookin’ at. You know, like the time I went to the hospital to visit a friend of mine who had been in a car accident and everytime people I knew warned me how offensive the sight was, I’d go into hysterics, or even like the time I couldn’t stop laughing when a friend of mine confessed to be about being raped violently by a masked man, leaving me feeling awakward knowing that I was the guy who raped her, hey, she was wearing a short skirt and totally was into it when it happened, don’t judge, I did the noble thing andconfessed to her a couple years later and she took it pretty well considering, you know she didn’t press charges or anything….but I haven’t been getting her annual Christmas cards or birthday phone calls, so she could be a little upset about it…..

I don’t know what I am saying, I am so fucking confused and distracted by the way these two look….

Bonus – That’s Not Really a Bonus – Because More Pics of this Cunt is More Like a Punishment – But Luckily So Is Everything On the Site – So I’m Sticking With Bonus – More Pics of Her….

Posted in:Sarah Silverman|Ugly

2008

21

Nov

Fran Drescher’s Got Hot Teeth of the Day

I hate Fran Drescher’s voice. That shit drove me up the fucking wall and whenever I’d hear it, I’d want to jump off a fucking bridge, but I could alway turn her off, her teeth didn’t have the same luxury and I guess after a lifetime of having to expell that obnoxious screeching, they’ve pretty much given up and are slowly trying to make their escape by killing themselves because whatever the fuck’s going on in her mouth, it’s fucking disgusting.

Speaking of rotten mouth, I went back to some girl’s house last night, hoping to get lucky, but instead decided to slip some GHB in her drink to make things easier, but shit wasn’t GHB, leaving her poisoned in bathroom puking, where I anxiously stood outside the door, listening to the sloshing sounds coming out of her stomach, waiting for her to come out, because I invested 5 dollars in the shit, and was planning on getting something out of it, so I grabbed her and started making out but I wish I didn’t because she didn’t brush her teeth like she was Fran Drescher and I ended up with chunks of half digested food in my mouth, but it wasn’t so bad after I got used to the taste.

Bonus – Here’s a video of Fran Fine Meeting Fran Drescher on The Nanny in one of TV’s Classic Moments…in one of TV’s most underrated show, because it sucked.

Posted in:Dentist|Fran Drescher

2008

21

Nov

Annalynne McCord’s Got a Bikini Nipple Slip of the Day

Some fake Annalynne McCord added me to facebook today. I tried to get to talking to her, but she just ignored me. So if the fake Annalynne is that much of a cunt, I can’t only assume the real one is even more of a cunt. You know, the kind of girl who thought she was pretty in highschool, but no one else did because of her lanky little body and big stupid hair, , but she showed all of us. She made it in Hollywood, if you consider a gig on Nip/Tuck and 90210 really making it, which I don’t. But at least she is skinny. Sure she’s got a clown face, small ass and small tits that remind me of a childhood dream I once had, of me in an open field with a herd of wild horses running my way, a trickling brook to my left and the sun shining down on me all while fucking my childhood best friend, who was a guy. It caused some issues I would have brought up in therapy, but could never afford that bullshit.

Either way, here she is in a bikini with her tit poppin’ out, that’s what happens when bras or bikinis in your size don’t exist, because you’re chest classifies you as a dude….if you know what I mean….which you do since it happens to you every time you put a condom on….

Bonus – Here she is simulating a blowjob

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini|Nipple

2008

21

Nov

Rob Pattinson Eyebrows Exclusive of the Day

I know you don’t give a shit about this guy, but someone sent in this email and since he’s a hot item right now, decided I’d post it. Sure he doesn’t have tits, but he probably gets a lot of tits, becaue this Twilight shit is fuckin’ crazy. I know 18 year old girls who have told me it has changed their lives, have told me they have masturbated reading it, and by default, that makes this Rob Pattinson a heart throb, but with eyebrows liek that, he looks more like he’s got a hipster’s pussy on his head, because hipsters think it’s cool and artistic to no shave their pussies…

Anyway, I got this email along with the pic….

i have a funny picture for you of robert pattinson

i hung out with him in portland a bunch when he was filming

yeah, not so cute

Right….I am sure the second you saw him in the bar and found out what he was doing there and who he was, you didn’t care about his fucking eyebrows, but instead jumped on his dick, but now that he’s not returning your calls, because every girl in the world is trying to get on his dick, he doesn’t have time to return his calls from the slut in Portland who to him seemed so long ago, but to you, it’s the highlight of your fucking life. I could be wrong. It happens, but I do appreciate the pic and I’d never wrong you like he did baby….

Oh, and the fact that the only exclusives I get are of some guy I’ve never heard of because I don’t like vampire movies or little wizard kid movies and his eyebrows, depresses the fuck out of me. Where’s the Lohan sex tape, or the Spencer Pratt getting fisted by Montag video….Come on people..Get it together…

Posted in:Eyebrows|Robert Pattison