I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

14

Oct

Kelly Brook in a Bikini for Some Play Called Fat Pig of the Day

Kelly Brook is some model who has gone to far and tried to make the move into acting, but the good news is that the directors of the play “Fat Pig” that’s going on in the UK, didn’t really take her seriously enough to give her a serious role and her acting on stage consists of her running around in a bikini. I don’t know if she has any dialogue and I hope she doesn’t, because it would really take away from what she’s good at, and throw the audience off, like the time I accidentally walked into a transexual bar and thought the girl I was talking to was a girl, until it’s tongue was halfway down my throat and it was too late to turn back because I didn’t want to hurt any feelings, but a little less psychologically abusive.

Posted in:Bikini|Kelly Brook

2008

14

Oct

Audrina’s Skinny Dipping on The Hills of the Day

Since I don’t watch The Hills and probably never will watch The Hills, I have no idea what drama is being staged in this recent video of Audrina swimming topless for some dude, but I am pretty sure it was written by a team of experts and executed badly by a half retarded chick with fake tits who you all want to fuck. This shit’s not real life and anyone who thinks it is, is clearly as stupid as Audrina, who I hear just figured out how to spell her name. The show is offensive, young girls buy into this shit and try to turn their boring lives into a drama filled mess and I blame The Hills for half the abortions the abortion clinic saw last week, not to mention half the herpes cases, half the girls stealing each others boyfriends and half of the Uggs sales. I don’t know where I am going with this, but I’ll see you in Cabo….and to anyone who thinks that Audrina is a useless waste of space, you’re wrong, bitch gets naked in pools for a guy who she looks like she may have fucked and if she hasn’t she definitely wants to fuck and he’s just stringing her along like the helpless insecure girl that she is so that he keeps the upper hand and has his way with her is and in the perfect world, that would be every girl’s full time job….none of this running corporations, being doctors, having real jobs bullshit….

Posted in:Aurina Patridge|Skinny Dip|The Hills

2008

14

Oct

I hate Bouncers of the Day

Here’s a video of the bouncers at One Nightclub in Hollywood, where celebrities hang out, fucking up some punk who obviously did something wrong according to them at their night club. I am sure this is a shitty fucking place, where the people inside feel they are more important than they actually are, who wear Ed Hardy and buy bottles of Grey Goose, you know the 9 to 5 millionaires pretending they are partying like rockstars while charging the night to their credit card they can’t afford and end up getting rowdy enough for the staff to take them outside. Bouncers are fucking thugs who feel like they can fuck people up at their discretion, because they think that is their job and at every club, they are power tripping people who are bitter at the world because they have to deal with people having a good time, while getting paid 10 dollars an hour.

I have had my fair share of trouble with bouncers for doing a variety of things. Once I passed out puking in the bathroom of a club after being over served and the bouncer picked me up over his shoulder, threw me down a flight of stairs and banned me from coming back. Another time, I got in a fight with a bouncer for kicking me out with a hat on and I ended up trying to choke him, which turned out to be a minor mistake, because dude was a fucking ninja. Another time, they asked me to leave a bar after I purchased a pitcher of beer and when I tried smuggling it out because I felt that it was rightfully mine, they jumped me, leaving me with a fractured skull. Another time, the bouncer wouldn’t let me into a bar and I offered to pay him 10 dollars an hour to stand by my bathroom door and teach me to be a tough guy, ending up in gettin punched again. Then there was the time I called a bouncer a rockstar and it turned out he didn’t like being called a rockstar and he beat me up only for me to tell him while bloody as fuck that he just proved he’s a fucking rockstar only to get me beat down some more. I have always liked getting kicked out of clubs, especially really shitty ones, I liked getting banned from clubs a lot more because it made me feel like I left my mark, the only problem is that police never side with you after getting assaulted by these motherfuckers and you can’t sue or get them arrested for assault because the cops see them as an extension of the law and so do they. I even had a drunk friend who was walking outside a club and wasn’t even a patron of a club get beat to death, those bouncers ended up going to jail, because they were murderers bullying on some loud dude on the street where they don’t really have any jursidiction, but shit’s just representative of how they think they are O.J. Simpson and above the fucking law and I am posting this video because I hate them even when they beat up little wimpy motherfuckers who I wouldn’t normally side with because I hate everything they represent, but I guess I hate bouncers more….

So if you are in LA, don’t go to One Nightclub, shit looks pretty fucking lame, proven in the fact that Kim Kardashian hangs out there….

Posted in:Bouncers|Kim Kardashian|One Nightclub

2008

14

Oct

Sophie Monk’s Fat Chick Panty Line of the Day

So Sophie Monk decided to get back at her Good Charlotte sister, who moved her to the USA with promises of lesbian marriage and children, before getting swept up by Paris Hilton’s rank vagina, when she was trying to save her career and jump on the Lohan / Ronson lesbian party boat, and she’s doing it by releasing a line of underwear based on the underwear the Good Charlotte Sister used to wear for her. Shit’s contouring and makes fat chicks think they look less fat, but strapping them down and squeezing them proper like we were in the middle ages and they were some kind of high society woman or some shit, only knowing Sophie Monk’s celebrity, they’ll probably be sold at Sears next to LL Cool J’s collection of suburban gangster gear for the whole family, in his last whimper for attention.

So the good news about that is that Good Charlotte sister’s fat girl panties aren’t just for the rich and famous anymore and in the economic crisis, that’s the social conscious thing to do, because when you have to decide whether to go with the groceries or a pair of cheeap underwear to trick men into thinking you are worth fucking, go with the underwear, because that man you may be tricking could be rich enough to take you out for dinner and we all know that can be expensive because you eat more than the average person and because of the fact that you are wearing these panties pretty much means food is probably the last thing you need.

I like the way Sophie Monk has a pair of them on her head, she’s so playful like that, I heard that last week she let Ryan Seacrest shove his pantyhose down her throat to gag her before licking her asshole while jerking off. True Story.

Posted in:Fat Chick|Panty Line|Sophie Monk

2008

14

Oct

Olivia Munn Dances With Dead Fish of the Day

I don’t really know who this chick is because I don’t have TV and if I did I wouldn’t watch the virgin channel, but it’s video of the host of Attack of the Show Olivia Munn dancing around with dead fish. Sure it’s not all that seductive seeing as she’s wearing clothes and not inserting those creatures of the sea in her cunt, but it’s a good enough way to start the day and it’s a nice change of pace from the Japanese rotting fish vomit porn I usually try to wake up to, because it’s nice and wholesome and safe for TV and not contraband in most countries…..

Either way, if you’re a virgin loser, which you are, you probably are already married to this chick in your fantasies and this video will probably piss you off because she’s blatantly cheating on you..even if the fish is dead…and slutting it up for the cameras without your approval..for all of us to see and that’s the kind of shit that should make you mad enough to get on a bus and ride down to the west coast to break into her house, strip down, crawl into her bed and wait to surprise her when she gets home, by shouting “Honey, I’m home” while stroking your erection before locking her in the basement and performing a ritual wedding you invented against her will before getting arrested and sent away…..Watch the stupid video.

Posted in:Dance|Olivia Munn

2008

13

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I just slept for 8 hours after sleeping for 12 hours last night. I was thinking I got a parasite from drinking out of a puddle that is ravaging my brain, but maybe it’s just the shitty weather or depression, but I have no idea what’s going on, all I know is that I am fucking sleepy as shit….

The good news is that Facebook emailed me back with a reason for being deleted:

Hi Jesus,

After reviewing your situation, we have determined that you violated our Terms of Use. Please note that nudity and other sexually explicit content is not allowed on the site. Additionally, we do not allow users to send messages that are sexually suggestive, or that other users may find harassing in nature. We will not be able to reactivate your account for any reason. This decision is final.

Thanks for your understanding,

Harold
User Operations
Facebook

Thanks Harold, if that’s your real name, which it definitely isn’t, despite it being one of Facebook’s rules of conduct, but rules they don’t have to follow since it is their site.

This is a you say vagina, I say pussy situation. You know a you say Anal Sex and I say Ass Fucking situation. What I deem appropriate, they deem inappropriate. What I know is that I never posted nudity, and that every office facebook junkie out there has used the shit to get fucking laid by talking dirty to girls, I am just more offensive and a pain in the fucking ass about it and I have a Mexican name, but that’s who I am and if Facebook is cracking down on the messages motherfuckers send, there is seriously no privacy on that shit and you all better watch out, cuz it means big brother is watching you. They know your cell numbers and providers, your credit card numbers, your birthdays, your message conversations, your circle of friends, the events you go to, the schools you went to, what you studied, who was in your classes, where you work, who your parents are, how old your parents are, where your parents live, and that’s like giving the white collar version of the KKK your Social Security number and trusting the racist motherfuckers with a lot of your shit….so be careful, you are making other people very fucking rich, I’m talking turning 24 year olds pictures above into billionaries .

Here’s my link/links….

Beyonce Tries To Steal The Attention Back From Rihanna By Dancing Like a Whore in a Leotard Poppin the Booty and Making it Talk and I Like It Even Though Her Time Has Come and Gone…It’s Nice to See Her Holding Onto the Dream….
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Monday Slut Fun
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The Rest of the Angelina and Brad Pitt W Magazine Amateur Porn Pictures
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Amy Winehouse Should Go into The Cocaine Candy Business
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Jessica Simpson Showing Some Tit in Booty Shorts Rocking the Mic….Good Times…
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How About Some Banksy?
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Mark Walberg is a Cry Baby
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Serena Williams’ Tits Are Massive
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10 Most Overrated Hot Chicks of All Time
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Now Here’s a Toy Story I Ca Get Down With
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Alena Seredova Will Cure Your Case of the Monday’s
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Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
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Cougar or Not a Cougar?
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Extreme Moscow Car Accident
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Britney Spears flashing again
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The Crackie Horror Picture Show
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Moon Man Versus Golfer
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I Never Get tired of Escalator Falls
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30 Foot Back Flop
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Vanessa Hudgens On Jay Leno
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Carol is All Natural
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Garden Fuckers!
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Salma Hayek Can Do No Wrong
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Christina Aguilera Looks Pretty Good Without All That Shit On Her Face
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Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
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Miley Cyrus’ Mouth is Tired
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Striptease of the Day
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Indian supermodel Ujjwala Raut’s nude pics…
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Some Tera Patrick Goodness
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Topless go-karting race!
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Hunting With Sarah Palin
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Girls Highschool Bathroom Beatdown
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Shake That Ass
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Aubrey O’Day Whores It Up At Fashion Week
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I Love Me a Girl in a Corset
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Find The Best Porn on the Internet According to Me
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Tara Reid is Officially Retarded
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Michey Rourke is Insane
GO

Somebody Do Something!
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Wu Tang Office
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Travis Barker Talks More About the Plane Crash
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Bizarre Gadgets From a Land Far Away
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The Golden Touch!
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Impaled By a Giant Dildo
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Oral Sex of All Variety
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Some Vagina and Camera Phone Pics…
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Shitty Tits
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

13

Oct

Audrina Does Maxim of the Day

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Audrina may be useless, but she still got to get into a bikini for Maxim and not look entirely bad doing it.

Sure she has a weird face and is dumber than shit, but like all Sex Dolls all you need to do is to replace her head with a new one when you save up enough money to buy the better quality one, we get it, you’re on a budget, there’s an economic crisis going on and you don’t have a job so when you had to decide whether to go with the fat body or the busted face you went with the busted face and I think you made the right choice, because you don’t fuck the face, and you can always upgrade the head. Sure she came more defective than you thought, like how my family bought a Thanksgiving Turkey that had no legs, because the second rate, cripple turkeys are cheap as hell and still fuckin’ turkey and that’s better than last year’s baked beans. If you get what I am saying….

So one day soon, after the economic crisis blows over, it won’t be as much of a struggle to believe she’s actually a real person when you attach a string to its mouth to make it look like it’s talking about politics and the economy and like it’s not actually retarded despite looking retarded, while you have one hand manning the string and the other on the big fake tit getting primed for a nice night together, with the curtains drawn, because your mom’s out on a date. You just have to wait it out and deal with the shit, before getting the gold….

[IMAGES REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT]

Posted in:Audrina|Maxim

2008

13

Oct

Jamie Lynn Spears is Pregnant Again of the Day

I was in a pharmacy buying “ointment” the other day and saw this National Enquierer cover that said Jamie Lynn is pregnant again, only a few months after giving birth to her other baby who won the fight with the abortion doctor and as I was about to pick it up some really disgusting fatter than me dude got next to me and started talking to himself about sluts in magazines and how he wants to fuck them all and how he knows they want it. Dude smelled like 6 week old dirty asshole, whore pussy and french fries and as he grunted and drooled over a teen bopper magazine, I decided it was a good time to leave, mainly because it was like lookin in the mirror and I wasn’t in the mood for that horrible reality, but also because the space between the magazine rack wasn’t big enough for the two of us and he conviently rubbed up against me when trying to get through and I didn’t want to smell him for the next few days before I decided to change my shirt…..

The point of this is to say, fuck the critics, teenage pregnancy is hot and you’re never too young to get started and I think it’s fucking amazing that Jamie Lynn is doing what her out of contol, teenage rebelling, very fertile uterus is telling her to do. I figure if she starts now, by the time she hits menopause, she’ll have a whole race of her own, and maybe even Wal Mart will open a outlet center in her backyard. We are all allowed to have dreams, but only some of us actually act on them and make them happen and for that Jamie Lynn Spears deserves some credit.

Posted in:Jamie Lynn Spears|Pregnant|Teenage Pregnancy

2008

13

Oct

The Meth Catches Up With Fergie of the Day

Fergie is looking old and haggard a little pre-maturely and it’s all thanks to meth addiction and not a math addiction, because Fergie doesn’t know how to count.

Either way, we all know that despite how bad drugs are for us and how they make our skin fall off our faces, they are a hell of a lot of fun and in Fergie’s defense, she’s managed to get out of it and make all kinds of money before the shit showed up on her hardened face. So even if she did bow down because none of us want to bend her over our stained couches and eat her stained asshole for days, she’s pretty much set for life and can head back to the pipe to deal with the loss that was people jerking off to her when performing, and the real tragedy is that she will never end up on the stripper circuit where her performances would be a hit and where real addicts belong because she made it to the big screen, when it should have been left on the street corner, if you know what I mean. Because I don’t.

Posted in:Fergie|Haggard|Meth|old

2008

13

Oct

Lisa Ann is the Nailin’ Paylin Star of the Day

So you all know that Hustler Video is making a porn movie called “Nailin’ Paylin” and that they were looking for a Palin lookalike on Craigslist. I was emailed the ad last week and didn’t bother posting it, but the highlight of it was that they lookalike had to do anal. Sounds like your kind of movie, now if only she has a penis, then you’ll be in fucking heaven…don’t worry, no one needs to know that you get off to gay porn, it doesn’t make you gay, just delete your browser’s history and pretend it never happened, that’s what I would do if I was a closet case trying to keep up appearances…I’m just kidding, that is what I do because I am a closet case trying to keep up appearances.

What isn’t a joke is that these pictures are of the girl they ended up going with, her name is Lisa Ann and she looks like a porn version of Palin and who does anal. I wonder what else they do in Alaskan based porn, I am hoping it involves fucking frozen Salmon, but that’s just because I like seeing fish in pussy. I’ve never heard of her, but this is probably the height of her porn career, even better than the time she won the Number 1 Milf award or all the times she passed her monthly HIV test.

Either way, I’ve been getting a lot of heat lately for posting political commentary, people think I am an Obama supporter because I make fun of the Republicans for McCain’s old man behavior and Sarah Palin’s small town girl behavior, but the truth is that I am pretty uneducated, especially on American politics, and all I know about your shit, is that Bush pretty much blew up your country and its economy and that I like the way Obama hypnotizes me with his speeches, but other than that, I’m pretty indifferent on the subject and here’s some hate mail that I got this weekend that isn’t all that hateful because a friend of mine sent it to me.

How is it you’re agreeing with all of the shitwads in hollywood brainwashing each other that obama is a good idea? 

Both of those assholes suck ass in the bad way. there isn’t a country Obama doesn’t want to bomb or invade. there isn’t a tax he doesn’t want to raise.  they are exactly the same. the consensus is that Palin is a religious nut, but obama went to that nutty church every week for 25 years. he’s a christard, too. don’t buy that bullshit that he’s just saying the stuff that will get him elected. he is as full of shit as mccain.

Don’t get soft on me, my young brother. you call bullshit where you see it and it’s all over obama. (insert brown joke here)

My response is that I am not getting soft on anyone, I’ve been soft for the last 20 years and I blame a high estrogen level for that. Here’s that Nailin’ Paylin porn slut to try to pretend this post never happened…


Trailer for Lisa Ann in Milfland Security 2: The Drop-off Because it is Jokes….
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A whole lot more of Lisa Ann in Porn Action (NSFW)
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More Lisa Ann Porn
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And More Lisa Ann Porn
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Here’s Some Lisa Ann Interview
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Here’s Some Lisa Ann Candid Video
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Posted in:Hustler|Nailin Paylin|Sarah Palin Porn