I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Oct

Audrina Is Just Not Hot Enough To Be This Famous of the Day

Audrina makes or made 35,000 dollars per episode of The Hills she was on, she may even make more than that now and she doesn’t deserve it according to me. Most fake titty retarded girls I know, make 10 dollars a song and are lucky to walk out of the club with 1000 dollars a week, and they get naked for that, while Audrina just stands around lookin’ like a fucking idiot. I know saying she should strip is standard and nothing new, but I don’t even think she’s got what it takes to do that. She is that talentless, and the only skill she had was having a family member or friend with a hook up who gave her the fuckin’ handout. I don’t like that she’s even being talked about or doing something people are patting her on the fucking back for, or interviewing her, because she just offer us with absolutely nothing and if anything she is just someone to make us feel better about ourselves. I am sure her parents are proud because the only hope they had for her was to marry an old Jewish Doctor with no standards and a big ol’ nose, because they go for that kind of thing.

Speaking of Jewish doctors, I was at a bar last night and some dude was walking around with his stethoscope. It turned out he was a med student and it was his way of seducing girls, because doctors have a god complex and think we are all impressed that they are studying medicine. I thought that was some pretty weak game, but it fuckin’ worked, within 20 minutes of getting in the place, he was checking girls vitals and running gynecological exams in the bathroom, when I pulled him aside, to ask him if he was legit, he laughed and said that it was all a joke that was working out pretty fucking well.

Posted in:Audrina Patridge|Ugly

2008

10

Oct

Gisele In a Music VIdeo of the Day

This is a video of Gisele on set from some music video for a song that seems like it fucking sucks and reminds me of yesterday morning, when I had my alarm set for noon, so that I could update the site, and fuckin’ Nickelback happened to be the song playing, leading to me wishing that I died in my sleep so that I wouldn’t have had to subject myself to that, and I figure it’s better than dying of a terminal illness a couple years down the road, because let’s face it, that’s pretty much where I am heading…

Anyway, I don’t understand why people feel the need to yell at Gisele about buying Puppy Mill Puppies from the pet store, while she’s working on set of a shitty music video, but they also yelled at her to not wear fur. Do these motherfuckers have absolutely nothing better to do with their time. Don’t they have jobs? Or is their job to search the streets of LA for celebrities to yell their insane messages to, thinking they are doing their part by being heard by people with power, without realizing that someone like Gisele isn’t listening to them because she doesn’t speak English and because nobody listens to crazy preaching people on the street. I know this first hand because today I was out at a local college trying to convince people to stop using Facebook because they are racist, and not one person took my pamphlet. Sure, it was drawn on toilet paper with lipstick I borrowed from an old lady at the bus stop, but I was in a jam, trying to get my message across….

Either way, here are some of the pictures of Gisele on set of the music video, because she’s the best paid tranny out there and today is a good day to give the struggling trannies out there some motherfuckin’ hope.

Posted in:Gisele|Music Video

2008

10

Oct

Facebook Hates Me of the Day

I’ve been using facebook for about a year. I’ve been adding random people and people who read the site have been adding me. I’ve kept it updated by running a feed to the site on there, I’ve promoted them pretty aggressively on this site in trying to recruit friends. I pretty much sit on it all day and tonight, I tried to login and boom…..

Account Disabled

Your account has been disabled by an administrator. If you have any questions or concerns, you can visit our FAQ page here.

Fuck you facebook, you broke my fucking heart. It is a dark day for the internet today and I’ll have to find a new place for internet social networking, maybe one that your mom, aunt, brothers, cousins, sisters, dogs, bosses, teachers, the admissions department of your university, and pretty much anyone else you don’t want to see your pictures of your drunken nights with drunken whores. One that’s got a little more cool to it, then terms and conditions.

I will start that site. I just need a programmer…..stay tuned.

Posted in:Facebook

2008

09

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

I got recognized today because I was wearing a shitty DrunkenStepfather T-Shirt. It was a horrible experience where some kid with braces asked me if I was DrunkenStepfather and I just denied by pretending I didn’t know what he was talking about. Instead, I asked the dude if I could borrow a dollar for a coffee and he said no. I have no idea whether he believed me or not, but I think that’s a bad sign of things to come, especially considering that the people who care enough to find out who I am are just as broke as me. I want rich people recognizing me and offering me refuge in their well appointed mansions, with pools, hot tubs and naked chciks. It’s a bad sign.

Another bad sign of things to come, the name of this post, because you know what it means and that my links of the day are about to hit and there’s always way too many of those to click, making it more like work than good times, try to enjoy it.


Sometimes in Life, You Just Gotta Smile
GO

I’m No Psychic, But Sometimes You Can Just Predict When Things Won’t Go Right
GO

April Scott is Like a Breath of Fresh Air
GO

The 9 Hottest Israeli Women Ever
GO

Emma Watson’s Wizard Pokies
GO

Marisa Miller Can Ride Me All Day Long
GO

Talk Like a Pirate, Fag
GO

I Don’t Know Who Andrea Feldon is, But I Wanna Be on Her
GO

Zac Efron Almost Got Knocked the Fuck Out
GO

The Top 100 Big Boobed Celebrities According to NUTS, But Most of them Don’t Count
Because They Are British and Therefore Not Reall Celebrities
Whatever.
GO

You KNow, Looking At All This Photoshop Work, I’m Starting To THink Britney
Spears Was Never Actually That Hot to Begin With, And It;s All a Fucking Illusion
GO

Because I Know You Have No Radar Whatsoever
GO

Dress Like Sarah Palin for Halloween
GO

Emma Watson hard pokies
GO

How NOT to Argue a Ticket
GO

The Best Slut’s You’ll See All Day, Which Isn’t Saying Much Because I Know For
A Fact You Haven’t Left Your Mom’s Basement
GO

Doogie Howser MD
GO

Finally! The Role That Will Give Jennifer Aniston the Stardom She Deserves!
GO

He Was a Comlicated Man, And No One Understood Him
GO

Washing Machine Surprise
GO

Now That’sHow you Strip Yourself of Dignity
GO

PRAISE JESUS AND THANK THE LORD
GO

If Searching Through Here Won’t Get You Up, Then You’re As Badd Off As I Am
GO

Jamie Lynn Want’s to Go to College; Defends Teenaged Sluts and Pregnancy
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

What WOuld it Take to Let YOU Get Kicked in the Balls?
GO

You Say You Don’t Need the Help, and I Say Bullshit
GO

Infection Affection
GO

Not the Kind of Homecoming I’d Want
GO

Out with the Old, In With the New. It’s Official, The Girls Next Door Are Moving On
GO

Guy Gets Knocked the Fuck Out by a Chick
GO

audrey Bitoni is Fully Fuckable
GO

Isn’t Tila Tequila Dead Yet?
GO

And Here I Thought Finger Painting Was Fun
GO

I Need to Go to Romainia. NOW
GO

There Is Gonna Be a War of the Old Ladie’s Of Soul, And Even Though Aretha Fraklin
Is Huge, I’m Still Putting All My Money on Tina Turner
GO

Luba Takes a Dip
GO

Etch-a-Sketch Amazingness
GO

Jessica Alba Shows Off Some Pubes – Throwback
GO

Make Babies is a Way You Never Imagined!
GO

Not Everyone Can Afford a Dildo. We Are in a Recession Afterall
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Dude’s Girl Shows Her Tits
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

09

Oct

Angela Lindvall Poses in a Bikini on 5th Avenue for Jimmy Choo of the Day

I guess this is just another hard day at the office for model Angela Lindvall, who was seen shooting some Jimmy Choo ad on 5th Avenue in a bikini in October. To think people say that models have it easy, I mean, getting down to a bikini in the middle of a New York street in the fall early in the morning, after spending a night doing blow in a VIP room with rock stars and celebrities, after a 3 week stint of time off spent sleeping in and going to nice restaurants, because as a model work’s not always constant and as a model you really only need a job a month to make enough money to live the life of luxury, is a lot harder than what you do, you lazy free loading fuck.

The point of this post is I like this campaign and hope that it ends up in a Vietnamese Lady Bar bathroom with a skirt hiked up around it’s waist and a garden hose attached to the toilet to wash out her cooch…if you know what I mean….which you probably don’t which is okay,because here are a lot of pictures to distract you from me being not funny.

Posted in:Angela Lindvall|Bikini|Model

2008

09

Oct

Angelina Jolie Breast Feeding on the Cover of W Magazine of the Day

W Magazine was rumored to have pictures of Angelina Jolie Breast Feeding that were taken by Brad Pitt for the cover of their latest issue. I don’t have all the pictures and I have just seen the cover by that shit is not breast feeding. Breast feeding is what I suggest I do to 18 year old girls on a regular basis for them to practice motherhood, so that when they get knocked up later in life, they will know what to expect. Breast feeding is what all these mom’s in the rich neighborhood near me do when they go to the Coffee Shop for their maternity leave luncheons that I don’t get invited to, but still take part in as I listen to them compare baby stories competitively and pull out their tits to get me turned on. Breast feeding is something that I see relatively often and get busted for staring inappropriately at, but it’s definitely not going on in these pictures. I consider myself an expert on the subject, so that my friend, is fact and you can quote me on it…..the other thing you can quote is that Brad Pitt’s idea of personal intimate pictures fucking sucks and unless there’s something penetrating that stretched out twin bearing pussy, I feel ripped off, but I am not sure how to quote that….

Posted in:Angelina Jolie|Breast Feeding

2008

09

Oct

Brooke Hogan’s Devastating Playboy News of the Day

brooke_hogan_bikini_8.jpg

I know you’re thinking that I am about to announce that Brooke Hogan is going to be in Playboy and issue some kind of warning that the day it hits newstands you should refrain from eating because it will guarantee throwing up all over the place uncontrolably, but the truth is, the only pussy that ever made me throw up was a meaty, mangled lookin’ mess that smelled like feces and onion, and even that could have been caused by some bad chicken I ate earlier that day. What I find upsetting is that she turned down Playboy for now, and that sucks because I wanted to compare dick sizes like this dude I knew used to do when he was 6. Yeah, yeah, saying Brooke Hogan has a penis is getting dull, but suckin’ Brooke’s penis isn’t and the only way to fantasize about that, is to see her strategically posed in Playboy and that’s not about to happen anytime soon….

Here’s the story:

Brooke Hogan has turned down an offer to pose nude in Playboy.

“Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time,” her rep tells Usmagazine.com exclusively. “It’s not out of the question for the future, but we’ll have to see.”

Source – USWeekly

Here she is in a bikini…..

Here she is in another bikini…..

Here she is in another bikini….

Here she is performing in bootyshorts a while ago….

Here she is in FHM With the Power of Photoshop….

Posted in:Brooke Hogan|Playboy

2008

09

Oct

Sophie Monk Was Poor of the Day

Go to 4 minutes into the video to see Sophie Monk in her natural habitat of Australia, where her couch, like mine, was covered by a sheet, to make the piss stains, holes and maggots living inside it, less offensive when sitting down to watch a movie. Sure, she wasn’t as poor as the homeless guy I met in an alley when taking a piss, who was smashing his head against a dumpster screaming in pain, only to come up to me in some kind of bloody mess asking me if I was involved in the black market organ trade, and not believing me when I said no, or the street kid with a tattooed face who was moaning to himself yesterday and when I asked him what was wrong he told me his mouth hurt, when I asked why, he lifted up his lip to show me a rotted out mess that smelled like death and that he couldn’t get fixed because he had no money for a dentist, but poor never the less.

Either way, it’s nice to see Sophie not forgetting where she came from as she climbs into her Range Rover in LA after a long day of going to Pilates, that was probably followed up by sitting on her ass, or taking a bubble bath, or calling Ryan Seacrest and talking about boys.

Posted in:Poor|Sophie Monk

2008

09

Oct

The Paparazzi Dis Fabio of the Day

The paparazzi dissed Fabio by saying something along the lines of “hey, you still have fans”, in some passive aggressive asshole attempt to call him done did.

I think the paparazzi are just bitter that they spend their days chasing the dude who made enough money to have a Ferrari for being the topless dude on drugstore romance novel covers and the “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” spokesperson, 10 years after the fact, and despite how fun that sounds, it’s a hell of a lot more useless of an existance than being the dude who cashed out for having long hair and a ripped body who gets to spend his days “having fun” and “going to the gym”. That’s like this alcoholic friend of mine who never wanted to get off his ass to do anything, but always wanted to make his life seem worth living by lining up menial tasks, he’d call me and ask if I wanted to run errands with him. One day, it would be to go to the post office to buy a stamp, another day was to buy a pen and he always managed to find one thing he felt needed to get done, only instead of driving a Ferrari, he took the bus, and instead of being Fabio, he was fat and girls wouldn’t masturbate for him, even if he paid them.

What it comes down to is that I am even more bitter than they are because I’m the asshole writing about Fabio and the Paparazzi and that’s pretty fucking weak, but not as weak as my heart that I think is about to explode from smoking this cigar on an empty stomach.

Posted in:Complex|Fabio

2008

09

Oct

Randy Spelling and His Dog of a Girlfriend in a Bikini of the Day

Every time I have dreams about being a multi-millionaires son, who flies to exclusive events on a private jet and who dines in the best restaurants in the world, stays in the best hotels in the world, visits the most beautiful places in the world. The girls by my side and in my bed never look like the slob that’s with Randy Spelling, Tori Spelling’s brother, in these pictures. It’s safe to say that either motherfucker is one of those fucked up rich kids with major emotional issues and who can’t really live a normal life, because of his fucked up upbringing, leading to hot girls to stay the fuck away from him for fear he’ll have another one of his episodes, or he’s gay, because the only person who can love something that looks like this, is someone who is scared of admitting his sexuality and who can see past her disgustingness to really embrace the beautiful person she in on the inside, while straight dudes just go for the tits and pussy.

Posted in:Fat|Girlfriend|Randy Spelling