I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Oct

Heidi Montag Goes to the Pumpkin Patch of the Day

Heidi Montag managed to step away from the hustle and bustle that is her lie of a life on The Hills and re-connect with her roots. You know heading out to the pumpkin patch where she was made by the farmer’s handicapped son and where she worked as a scarecrow for the first 17 years of her life, before somehow managing to take her straw-filled useless body and her face only a farmer’s retard son could love, that made for the best damn face in the scarecrow business, where no crows ever came within 10 feet of the crop with her around, to Hollywood, where she became what she is today. The only remnants of what once was is her soulless body and that face that could stop traffic for being something out of a really low budget horror movie and of course the wonderful memories that she’s decided to share with her fake boyfriend of her time as a device, traditionally a human figure dressed in old clothes, or mannequin, that is used to discourage birds such as crows from disturbing crops, because this time of year is always really nostalgic for her, like the group of seniors I saw celebrating their 60th high school reunion, because besides waiting for death, it’s all they really have to do today…

Either way, here’s Heidi and her plastic tits, plastic life and plastic boyfriend, playing with the crops she once helped protect.

Posted in:Heidi Montag|Pumpkins

2008

15

Oct

Miley Cyrus Gets Fed The Miley Shake By Her Dad and Causes a Riot of the Day

Miley Cyrus launches new shake at Millions of Milkshakes

So it turns out that the Hollywood.tv people who have been delivering FREE celebrity videos the last little while and who I have been stealing videos from to mask as my own content are owned by some rich brown dude from London, who owned a Hollywood style 24 hour Diner that made him enough money to move to LA in hopes of starting one here, but instead got wrapped up in following celebrities around, befriending them and giving them exposure on that youtube site, only to allow him to open up an LA location, but now with high profile appearances an Milkshakes named after them.

This video is of Miley Cyrus trying her milkshake and stirring up a whole lot of chaos, but I think the people aren’t so much excited to see her, but concerned as to why Billy Ray Cyrus is feeding her whip cream like he is her lover and they are the stars of some really bad softcore porn. Keep your penis in your pants Cyrus, you aren’t in whatever hick town you’re from where you think that because you made her, she’s yours to do what you want with….save that erotica for the executives at Disney, at least they’re filling up her bank account everytime they fill up her asshole with their fingers and tongues….you’ve had enough of a free fuckin’ ride motherfucker….now start acting like her fuckin’ father and stop trying to get in her pants…You sick fuck.

I don’t really know what I’m talkin’ about, it happens, pretty much everyday.

Posted in:Incest|Miley Cyrus|Miley Shake

2008

15

Oct

Naomi Campbell Has Some Topless Pictures and No One Cares of the Day

I guess no one really gives a fuck about Naomi Campbell, but I am in the mood to post skinny, rich, blacker than night, black chick tits and I had pretty limited options. I don’t know when these pictures were taken, I don’t know why they were taking, but I am going to go out on a limb and assume that they are work-related as she is a model. I met a model last night, she turned out to not be a real model, but an elderly model in the Wal Mart flyers/circulars/whatever the fuck they are called, she was just sitting at this hotel bar having a drink like it ain’t a thang, no one was going up to her and harassing her, like I’d expect and it was the closest brush with celebrity I ever had. It was even more memorable than telling Wesley Snipes he deserved an Oscar for Passneger 57 because shit changed my life, before he went broke and sits in a van outside his re-possessed home dreaming of the good old days and calling his agent to see if they got him lined up for that Sears athletic line ad because he needs the money to pay the rent on his 1 bedroom apartment. I asked her about how hard it was to really make the excitement on her face while her “grandkids” were jumping into a pile of leaves so believable and she just looked at me, square in the face and said “talent”. I got her autograph, I’d scan it, but I don’t have a scanner, but I do have these Naomi Campbell pics to tide you over…

Posted in:Naomi Campbell|Topless

2008

15

Oct

French Singer Messes Up The US National Anthem at a Hockey Game….Then Karma Gets Her…of the Day

The C.I.A. fucked this bitch up for disgracing and offending their country by putting a gun to this bitch’s head and making her walk out and embarrass herself more than she already did when trying to sing the US National Anthem and slaughtering it by not knowing the words. The truth is that she seems French Canadian, I think she works at the deli down the street from me and sells me week old bread, pate and cheese for cheap, but I could be wrong, those French people all look the fuckin’ same, but the truth is that there’s no real reason for her to know the US National Anthem, other than being asked to sing it since she is clearly not even American….

I am sure none of you would know the words to the song is and you live in the fucking country, if it wasn’t for the patriot training camps your Government calls Elementary school, where you were forced to sing that shit everyday and recite the constitution forward and backwards while re-enacting the civil war and memorize all other things American, without putting energy in learning about other countries, because as you have been told the USA is the ONLY country….so instead of being offended about this shit, think everyone should know your shit as well as you know you’re shit, I’d like you to sing the French National anthem to me, but that’s only because I love your angelic voice, it is like porn to me….

Either way, this video is funny, I laughed because she’s fucking useless.

Posted in:Hockey|National Anthem Fuck Up|Singer

2008

15

Oct

Christina Aguilera Keeps Things Interesting of the Day

I don’t know what happened to Augilera, but she got all crazy a couple years ago, we just didn’t know about it because we were too busy focusing on people who are more important than her and not the back burner that she was about to spill over on. She went through the tacky slut phase rebelling against her candy-coated image by getting implants and somehow turning into this 50’s pin-up girl, where she caked on more make-up than Boy George, while dancing around dressed like a sailer like we were in the navy and hadn’t seen cunt in years, which isn’t all that far from the truth, but you know what I mean. Then she married the Jew, probably never fitting into his family for being a non-Jew, leading to a whole other identity crisis, that has left her with a baby, a clown face, weirdly shaped titties all while being too good for any of us to bag, which is the real sad truth that is our lives….here she is performing.

Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus – Aguilera Dressed Like a Clown For Mother Africa

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Weird

2008

15

Oct

Hayden Panettiere Gets Political on Funny or Die of the Day

So now that Hayden Panettiere is 18, she feels like she’s got the right to talk politics and preach her bullshit opinion. Here she is for Funny Or Die, making Will Farrell richer while making videos that aren’t funny, doing some pretty weak sarcasm telling people to vote for McCain if they want to die and that they should also take up drinking and smoking and having unprotected sex with random people, which I have to agree with, but I am not saying it to be funny and I don’t want to get political here because it’s boring, especially coming from someone with no business talking politics, so I guess what it comes down to is that Hayden Panettiere should DIE because that video was a bust, as was this post, but at least you can look her dropping the f-word while jerking off to her pictures now…..

Posted in:Funny or Die|Hayden Panettiere|Political

2008

14

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

My wife asked me for a Thanksgiving stuffing yesterday, I think she was coming onto me, I started to panic, but instead of going through with it and trying to think of something hot, I just went into the kitchen and gave her the left over stuffing that our friend brought over to us and I think she was a lot happier with that than actually having sex with me, pretty much the story of my life, I guess I’d take food over me naked pretty much any day and I’d take anything to not have to deal with my wife naked so I guess it all worked out in the end, making this post absolutely pointless, which is probably nothing new.

Something else that’s not new, my links, and here they are…

Dyan Cannon May Be 71, But I Still Wanna Bang Her
GO

Now THAT’S How you Sing the National Anthem
GO

I’m Sorry, But Michelle Marsh Looks Like a Man
GO

Stacy Keibler is Doing Her Think in Maxim
GO

Audrina Patridges’ Tits’ Finest Moment
GO

Britney Spears is Flashing Her Shit Again
GO

I Guess Everyone Deals with Traffic Stops Different
GO

Masuimi Max is Fine With Me
GO

Because I Know You Can Never Have Enough Porn
GO

Britney Spears Fans Are Having a Cry
GO

Drew Barrymore’s Highbeams Throwback
GO

I Really Don’t Understand Victoria Beckham
GO

REGIS WILL FART IF HE WANTS TO
GO

stuffed Animal Causes Car Crash
GO

Some Girls Just Know Their Calling From the Start
GO

Blood Sucker!
No, Really!
GO

It’s Not Really Sex If You Do It Alone, Stop Kidding Yourself
GO

I Mean, Who Didn’t See It Coming
GO

Sorry Beckhams, But I Would Have Done the Same Thing
GO

We Never Had Cell Phones In Class Anyways
GO

A Little Megan Fox Always Does US Good
GO

Dodgeball, Meet Face
GO

Carol Is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

Denise Shows Off for the Camera
GO

Nozomi Sasaki is my Japanese Fantasy
GO

Gerard Butler Sinks to a New Low
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Sarah Palin is a….
GO

Why Does Lohan, a Hot Chick, Insist on Doing Things That Make Her Look Disgusting
Like Ugly Hair, Fake Tans, or Becoming a Lesbain
GO

Just Stripped
GO

Service Station Sex!
GO

Some Are Disgusting and Some Are Just Plain Weird
GO

Whats Wrong With Tracy Bingham
GO

NOT SARAH PALIN NAKED
GO

You Say You Don’t Need Help, and I Say, We All Need Help Sometimes
GO

Carmen Ortega Is Pretty Much Naked
GO

Michael Jacson Banged Marcia Brady
GO

Sandee Westgate Hets Her Locker Room On
GO

You Have Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me
GO

Jane Taylor is All Sorts of Sexy
GO

White Boy Body Wave
GO

Vagina Weight Lifting
GO

Some Texas Probation Officer Gets Fired for Nude Pics on the Internet….
GO

Sarah Palin Joke of the Day
GO

Some Girl on the Beach With Talented Tits
GO

Some Throwback Naomi Watts Nude Scene
GO

Is Tila Tequila a Vegas Escort?
GO

Check out the Wonder How To Awards….
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS….

Some Dude’s Babe Collection….
GO

Slutty Vegas Cowboy in Shorts and Boots….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

14

Oct

Caroline D’Amore and Blaise Dipersia Deleted My Facebook of the Day

caroline_damore_bikini_top.jpg

So….It turns out that Caroline D’Amore is the reason I got deleted off Facebook.

Her boyfriend’s brother is a dude named Blaise Dipersia who happens to work at Facebook and it was revealed to me that he was the person who disabled my account. I don’t know who this fucker is, I don’t know what he does at Facebook, but he’s clearly high enough on the chain to disable profiles for his friends…what I do know is that this is clearly an abuse of power, where facebook employees over-ride everyday people and side with their family in friends while deleting profiles and I find that to be unethical business practices.

I have reached out to facebook for comment, but they haven’t responded so if anyone knows his boss, send me their email contact and if anyone hears Caroline D’Amore is badly DJing in their city, boycott the event, this Celine Dion bitch is the fucking devil and I want to get Blaise fired…it’s a personal mission….


This is his website…
GO

I called him and told him who I was and he hung up on me like a little bitch…..Sucks getting busted….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

14

Oct

Serena Williams Has Pretty Fat Ass for an Athlete of the Day

Serena Williams is a fucking beast. This creature kills it on the tennis courts and now she is killing me while rockin’ a bikini. I know that I have attacked these twins for being the modern day “Ladybugs” or it’s newer “She’s The Man” spin-off, saying that their tennis father dressed his little boys up as girls at a young age to destroy all the conservative white folks at the tennis club he was the landscaper at, but I think I was wrong and that these girls are in fact girls. I also think I was wrong in ripping into them for being too fat to be athletes because lets face it, they always fucking win, and maybe my perception of being fit is not actually what being fit is, because I consider any girl not being fed through an IV or feeding tube too fat and instead of worrying about who or what they are, we should focus in on this crazy fucking booty, because let’s face it, it’s pretty much impossible not to. This thing is huge and I think I’m ready to see her make it talk, but I am not sure her bedroom floor or anything she’s standing on is strong enough to withstand the impact…

Speaking of impact, a little known fact about these pictures of her surfing is that the wave she is riding was created when she jumped in the ocean.

That little known fact was weak, I am going to take a coffee break and try to collect my thoughts. Today has been a disgrace to myself and in the meantime, check out Serena Williams’ ass.

Posted in:Bikini|Fat Ass|Serena Williams

2008

14

Oct

Nicolette Sheridan’s Ass in a White Bikini of the Day

There’s nothing like seeing a little Michael Bolton sloppy seconds strutting her old lady body that puts most 20 year old bodies to shame around in a bikini, knowing that he ruined her like he ruined Frank Sinatra’s Music back in 2006. I do know that her body is definitely the kind of body you can try to pretend is still a virgin when you get with her, despite knowing that the only reason she’s on TV is because she’s not a virgin, if you know what I mean. If you don’t, bust out your mom’s Desperate Housewives Season 1 DVD boxset and see her trying to act, not that that would be too hard of a task for your lazy body, considering you keep it hidden under your bed for those lonely nights alone….which are pretty much every night…..

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Nicolette Sheridan