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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Nov

Natalie Dylan The Sex Expert Selling her Virginity Interview of the Day

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So this weird intellectual virgin, who studied sexology and claims to be a virgin and has passed a few tests proving she’s a virgin who despite being so well-versed on the sociology, psychology and everything else about sex, making her a total sex nerd, has decided to get hands on in her thesis by selling her virginity. Now, I’m not a snob, I don’t think selling sex is something to be looked down upon, I figure she’s got something worth money, she might as well sell it. If anything, i hate girls who put so much importance on their virginity that they don’t put out on the first date, and end up being 22 years old and still a virgin because their dreams of some romantic novel, never came to, so instead of just fuckin’ a random for free she might as well get paid, the same logic all whores have, only to make it seem okay to herself, she pretends it’s a social experiment that will get her into her post-graduate program of choice since she’s the human guinea pig, with a couple million dollars in the bank.

I am posting this because I love the old dude who is bidding on her. He’s 60, has always wanted to have a virgin and wants to teach her the ropes after talking to her, taking her to the park and all other things to make this union not seem creepy as shit.

This brings up 2 questions, the first is what his family and friends are thinking about their nice neighbor and buddy Lee, who they thought was totally normal, talking about banging young virgins like his fantasy isn’t creepy as shit and the other is whether this whore in training is going to pay tax on this shit, because if not, I suggest all you virgins get up on this shit. Sure, this story may not be all that fresh, but her pussy is supposed to be, so it gets a post.

Posted in:Natalie Dylan|Virgin

2008

Nov

Avril Lavigne’s Inspiration Commercial of the Day

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Here’s some fluff to distract you from this “historical” bullshit day in the USA, because despite shit always being on the news, and this new generation of youth who didn’t vote 4 years ago, all of a sudden becoming political experts by educating themselves half-assed on the issues. I think it’s all fucking dull and voting is for losers, it’s played the fuck out and the cool thing to do is to not vote. I try to offer inspiration like Avril Lavigne’s Cannon Camera commercial offers me inspiration, sure I don’t have a Canon Rebel, but knowing that that’s how Avril Lavigne captures inspiration and how she reflects on an amazing experience and express her creativity, is enough reason to rob the old lady down the street’s credit card and buy myself one. Not that I am some kind of faggot who needs to capture inspiration, express creativity or reflect on amazing experiences, because I have alcohol for that.

I don’t really know why I am posting this and I don’t really get why Canon is attaching some suburban pop-tart to their product, but I do know that there are more….

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Nov

stepLINKS of the Day

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I am all worn out with this whole election thing, actually I am not really phased by your bullshit election that is polluting my day and everything I read and I am just tired from drinking too hard all weekend, trying to pretend I wasn’t surrounded by total cunts, but that abuse made me lazy in throwing these links together, it also made me lazy in responding to someone who wanted to advertise on the site by telling them to stop spamming me.

It could have been my huge break and I fucked it up, maybe I’m self destructive, maybe I just don’t want success, and writing this post to go with my links pretty much proves that, at least you can look at the picture of the girl windexing her friend’s tit, because it is weird and click on the links because they will take you far away from this shitty site…..that I call my own……

Whoose Boobs? Obama Edition
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Bruno Says No to Prop 8!!
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YOU CAN WIN!
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How About Some Lara Croft?
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Jessica Simpson’s Hot Tits is Cursed
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Aisleyne Horgan Wallace Panty Upskirt
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The New Bond Chick is More Then Fit
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Now That’s An Informercial
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How To Get Laid By A Girl You Meet While Voting
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Your Evening Porn Break
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Blonde Hottie Ali Melted All My Cares Away
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Natasha Henstridge Will Make Your Monday Better
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Kate Winslet is Looking Way Hotter Than When She Was in That Piece of Shit Titanic
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Tenni Bed Mishap
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Because I Know You’re Suffering Slut Withdrawls After This Weekend
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Don’t Look Behind!!
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Sarah Shahi Can Do No Wrong
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Lindsay Marie Twist or Treat
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Find a Girl to Fuck, Because One Girl to Fuck Is Better Than No Girl To Fuck
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Yellow Ball Babe
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Paris Hilton is Still Mad at Rick Solomanc io
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Sienna Miller Needs to Find a New Married Guy to Hang Out With
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Car Wash Idiot
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Here’s Some More About the Slut Who is Auctioning Off Her Virginity
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Striptease of the Day
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Here’s a Bunch of Fake Trailers for Tropic Thunder
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Costumes 2008!!
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Nasty Disgusting Slut Takes a Shit on the Street
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Georgia Jones is Delicious
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Because I Know You Need a Helping Hand That Isn’t You own
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Shauna Sand Works it Out in Hollywood Corner
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Sofi Rides a Motorcycle
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Joaquin Phoenix Must Be Dyslexic or Something
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Robert Downney JR, Fire Crotch
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Spaghetti Cat Continues Hi Internet Reign
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If You’re Gonna Go Out in a Coffin, That’s the Way to Go
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Samuel L Jackson’s Titanic Screentest
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Halloween the Movie – Deleted Scenes
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Celebrity Boxing to End All Celebrity Boxing
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Sandra Shine is Truly a Solo Artist
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Jennifer Walcott Has the Hottest Halloween Costume
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Here’s a gallery of some Model Who is going to Jail…
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Unsexiest Celebrity Magazine covers of All Time
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This 22 Year Old Sex Nerd is Auctioning Off Her Virginity…I fell like I’ve Already Written About her…
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Worst Election Ads Ever
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Porn Star Toilet Prank
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Tentacle Porn Freaks Me the Fuck Out
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ENTER THE EAGLES OF DEATH METAL FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN TICKETS, BACKSTAGE PASSES AND TIME WITH THE BAND….
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Bonus – Because your broke ass needs money
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Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Nov

Paris Hilton’s Got Her Crazy Push-Up Bra Again of the Day

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Paris Hilton may be dull in the bedroom, dull in her everyday life, useless and not attractive. She may have no talent and she may be a genius playing stupid, but I like to think she’s actually a stupid person with a smart team of advisors who spin her stupidity to work in all of their favor to make them money like the tool that she is. She may be have sold her soul, intergrity, vagina to the devil and she may be shameless and totally irrelevant now. She is a has-been who’s milked us for as much as she’s going to get, and she may be better off dead, but damn, this girl knows how to make A-Cup tits look like C-Cup tits better than anyone I’ve seen in my everyday life.

I don’t know what straps and harnesses and gel filled cup she’s using, but it’s definitely something she can sell to seventh grade 12 year old girls, maybe it’s already in the works as her next product line and I am sure all those girls are as excited for it to hit as they are for their period to hit, because this will revolutionize girls being teased for being flat, feeling insecure for being flat, and will put an end to them having to wait until they are 15 to really get the male attention they are craving….I figure since Paris Hilton already made the youth vapid little sluts in training, she might as well give them the tools they need to really maximize it and that’s the end of this post.

Posted in:cleavage|Paris Hilton

2008

Nov

RIP Motherfucker the Obama Grandmother of the Day

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Obama’s grandmother, who pretty much raised him and who was white and from Kansas, died today. She will never get to see the outcome of the Election. She’ll never see her grandson make history and she’ll never get to go on that date with John McCain, since they were the same age. It’s a sad day for Obama and his fans and family, she was a big role model of his, but I am sure he’ll be able to power through this and we won’t have to deal with the insanity that mama’s boy Kanye West gave us when his mom died.

Again, I’m not American, I’m not voting, I am not the polls leading everyone to believe he’s going to win this by a landslide, so you can keep your hate out of this, because it’s hard to make racial slurs about an old farm girl who became a Vice President of a bank in the 60s in Hawaii as a minority died, even if she’s got a half-black grandson.

On a side note, I did a little research and it turns out that this wasn’t strategy for him to get the sympathy vote.

I wonder what are all the Obama supporters going to do when he doesn’t win….it’s going to be a pretty sad fucking day for all of them….I am convinced that despite being a revolutionary in a lot of ways, he just won’t win, but I may be wrong.

Here’s the Article
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Posted in:Election 08|Obama

2008

Nov

Halloween Isn’t Just for Kids, It’s For the Rich and Famous Too of the Day

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I figured since all these Halloween pictures are out there, because Hollywood have nothing better to do than dress up, even though it’s pretty much their job and they get paid to get in costume and make-up a good part of the year, their bored, rich selves had nothing better to do than spend a week planning this shit, while you’re working 2 jobs, hoping to hell the bank doesn’t take your house and I figured I’d throw up some of the costumes I saw the celebs out wearing in pictures, because I don’t actually leave my house….because it’s nice to see assholes with too much money and too much time having more fun than you and me….

I’ll start with Maria Carey because he and her husband are dressed like Milk and Cookies, a comfort food that Mariah Carey went feel in love with during her crisis/depression/falling out with herself.. These things saved her from suicide and this is her little tribute because along with being there to emotionally eat, they also helped her with developing a fat set of tits you and her young black husband love, it’s also convenient to keep them close by in case she has an episode, it’s her own bomb defuse and they taste sooooooo gooood…. MMMMMMMmmmm

Kate Beckinsale and her family put this together, she’s the kind of red riding hood you would dress like her grandmother to trick into getting her close enough to rape, I mean, seduce, but we all know you’d dress like a grandmother any chance you get, not just to seduce this Underworld bitch, you’re weird like that.

Heidi Klum went as some 8-armed hindu lookin’ priestess and Seal dressed up, even though his scarred face is enough of a mask, in fact it’s on some zombie burn victim level that people use to model their halloween make-up jobs of of and he really didn’t need to put all that effort in to be some primal predator, he coulda got the same message across walking around with his half black babies, all the white people would have got the message….

Carmen Electra is someone I’ll always be willing to get down with no matter how old she gets or what costume she’s wearing. Even if I found out bitch got Aids from Dennis Rodman and the lesions weren’t part of the costume, it’d still be worth raw dogging and tounging the sores, which isn’t saying much, because I have paid hookers extra to raw dog hoping I’d get Aids to end the misery that is my life, so maybe my term of endearment about how good Carmen Electra is, is almost insulting, but you get where I was going with it….and I guess that’s all that matters….

Christina Aguilera and her family dressed like The Wizard of Oz, I was expecting her husband to dress like the crazy flying monkey , but I guess he’s dresses like that everyday, so he wanted to try something new since it is Halloween afterall, the day of fantasies becoming realities, unfortunately they are usually the fantasies of pedophiles, but you get what I am saying….

Kirsten Dunst….I got nothing to say about her…seriously…she only inspires me to drink….and that’s not too hard because everything inspires me to drink…what I do know is that I don’t see any pussy in any of these pictures and it’s a real downer….

Some No Names…..

Remember when people thought this hag was hot, it was a long time ago, somewhere around the 90s, when lots of things didn’t make sense, like Lou Perlman and the success of his pedophilic Boy Bands, Friends and the fact that someone who looks like David Schwimmer can land a high paying job and Alicia Silverstone’s minute of being a sex symbol….

Rachel Sterling is some Pussycat Doll or ex-Pussycat Doll who did Playboy or some shit and she tours DJing with Caroline D’Amore, so I am forced to hate her, despite totally being down with her fake tits, the same tits where her talent lies….I am guessing she’s a devil or some shit…

Christina Milian is a Myspace star now and that means she’s pretty much one step up from a nobody, sure myspace is tied into a real label, but I think being on their label is probably the worst place to be as someone who had a huge song a bunch of years ago. At least she wore a bra out to distract us from her dying career…..because her body’s still worth trying to lick the brown off of.

Eliza Dushku who was an it girl a while ago and rightfully so, she was hot. I am not sure if this is a costume or her current job since she’s pretty much disappeared. She’s probably not the Filipino hired/exploited by the rich Jews kind of maid, but the kind of maid who charges 100 dollars an hour to clean your house in her underwear and who accepts an extra hundred to suck you off, but either way, she’s still worth a round, but the dude with the face tattoos may get in the way of kidnapping her because he looks like he doesn’t fuck around, you know with doing that to his face an all….he’s probably her pimp.

Cheryl Burke is dressed as a fat chick with small tits, I think that’s actually her everyday costume, but she still confuses me. She’s supposed to be some kind of dancer, dancers are supposed to be hot and fake titted if they work at strip clubs and professional dancers are supposed to be skinny and lean but Cheryl Burke looks like some kind of wrestler. Her body is too thick to be graceful and the only dance she knows is the beautiful mating dance she has with an all-you-can-eat buffet, first she circles once, then goes back up for more and more and more until there’s no more to be had, it’s a 4 hour process that her tits got the shitty end of her over-eating disorder deal from, since they stayed small while the rest of her didn’t and I am going to post them because I get confused by a fatty with small titties who claim to be dancers but have the body of school buses, making this a jigsaw puzzle I can’t figure out of a costume….

Khloe Kardashian’s a fucking beast, the kind of girl who if she was born in another era would be touring carnivals and kids would pay a penny to ride, she is huge and I guess her costume is a huge girl who managed to find a cop costume that fit. She’s probably being ironic cuz she’s going to jail, but I don’t know if she’s smart enough for that, I think the idea came to her at the donut shop she spends most of her time in.

Aubrey O’Day the ex-member of Danity Kane, a band that’s hardly been around a week, making her relatively useless and dressed like the little mermaid, and her dog who licks her pussy is dressed like the lobster that either represents the bout of crabs she got last week, or the fantasy of having her dog crawl into her panties and use it’s lobster claw to clamp down on her whore clit.

Audrina Patridge was dressed like a peacock, or at least that’s what I assume she is, because she’s got peacock feathers on her and her eyes are done up crazy, I think this was a tribute to her intelligence level, because last I heard she lost a game of Jeopardy to her pet bird last week and all that fucker knows how to say is “Please End the Pain and Kill Me Now” , at least that’s all I’d know how to say if I was her pet bird who could speak, I don’t know where I’m going with this, maybe I’ll move onto the next whore….

Some Really Lazy Costumes…..

An Olsen Twin’s idea of dressing up for Halloween is putting on a stupid make up mask, that probably took 5 minutes to do, but when you’re as rich as these girls, it’s okay to be lazy, the fact that she’s actually left her house on her own feet is impressive, if I was them, I’d have a hired carrier so that I wouldn’t have to put my billionaire feet on the same pavement as the commoners…

Alba went all out by putting on a blonde wig and covering up in a coat, possibly the laziest costume ever, even lazier than the guy I saw in a football jersey calling himself a Raiders fan, only more frustrating because he doesn’t have a hot set of mom tits under his costume…and she does…

Kelly Monaco’s dressed like….god knows what…but it’s fucking lazy, she’s wearing some dominatrix bullshit top and she’s worth fucking, but I think a ham sandwich is worth fucking, so I wouldn’t really take my opinion too seriously.

Natalie Portman wore a mask. Good job. It’s like the highschool kids who have nothing better to do that trick or treat on a Friday night, so the hit up the pharmacy for some 5 dollar mask in hopes the people giving out the candy don’t catch on, only the celebrity Jewish version…she didn’t even bother putting on a coat, or funny t-shirt, if this is a glimpse into how she behaves in the bedroom, she’s not worth your time….I predict she’s dead Gifilte Fish missionary position kind of pussy…and I guess that’s a waste for all of you who find her hot, but since I don’t find her hot, it doesn’t really phase me because I always knew she was boring and that SNL rap that sucked didn’t trick me into thinking she likes to let loose, it takes more than that bitch, I’m talking sex tape, get on it.

None of these costumes were that creative or inspiring, they all fucking sucked, girls never go that extra step and just buy the premaid costumes at the sex shop and it’s bullshit, I’d expect more, or at least something I could give you to jerk off to, but I’m not responsible for them, so instead of hating me, like you do, you should hate the bitches in the pictures…

On a side note, I probably don’t have the rights to post all these pictures, so I can only assume the hour it took me to post all this shit will be ruined by the paparazzi and their cease and desist lawyers letters, because they are greedy, oppressive motherfuckers who don’t like to share. They are the kind of people I would have hated going to Kindergarten with….for real….greedy pieces of shit pigs who make all kinds of money that they turn around and use to stomp out motherfuckers like me. I hate what you do to me….

Bonus that’s not really a bonus….The Pussycat Dolls dressed up, despite their whole career being based on dressing up in slutty costumes and doing shitty burlesque shows to shitty music, but I’ll post it anyway, because when stuck with MTV for masturbation, they really come through, so I guess this is goving back and considering I’ve already posted all those other shitty costumes, it only seems fair….

This post too way too long to do and since no one is going to read it, I just wasted my fucking time, glad you could be a part of that….

Posted in:Halloween|Hollywood

2008

Nov

Jessica Gomes Gets Topless for GQ Italy of the Day

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Her name is Jessica Gomes and she’s a SI Bikini model and she’s topless in GQ Italy, because they don’t bother with milking the whole bikini bullshit like Sports Illustrated, you know trying to cover up trying to increase sales by giving dudes chicks in various sexy poses, since it’s more interesting than Interviews with Bo Jackson, you know trying to push the limits of what America will deem decent and not offensive, and even going so far as publishing air brushed body painted pictures so you can’t see any nipple, but you can imagine nipple size and color while in the bathroom at your factory job trying to get off, while Italy goes ahead and leaves nothing but the meatiness of her pussy to our imagination, and throw in the tits since it’s not a big fuckin’ deal, despite what the crazy Christians think, because tits fed us when we were babies and if we’re still lucky, still feed us now, unless of course the tit in your mouth is attached to a fuckin’ cow of a girl like me, in which case shit’s totally inappropriate and emotionally damaging, but still should be deemed apropriate in magazines.

As far as I’m concerned if there’s no dick in the shot, it’s G-Ratedmotherfuckers and I just wish growing up, I knew about these kinds of import Euro magazine photoshoots, because they would have saved me a lot of time trying to stay hard for a topless tribal woman in National Geographic, the closest thing I had access to with naked chicks, because it was a time before the internet.

Eitehr way, check out the hot tits on this bitch.

Posted in:Jessica Gomes|Topless PhotoShoot

2008

Nov

Emma Rigby is in a Bikini of the Day

5 Comments »

The paparazzi amaze me. They are like computer databases or some shit, I’m talking having IMDB or Wikipedia memorized or some shit, because to be out on the beach in Miami and to know that this girl in her bikini is someone on TV in another country, is pretty fucking amazing. I have a hard enough time recognizing my stepkids and their friends if I see them out in the bar, maybe it’s because they are embarrassed that I’m there, but I think it’s got more to do with me having no capacity to recognize people even if I know them, but for some reason, the paparazzi know. Maybe they are aliens, but I’m thinkin’ their more like money hungry immigrants who know that somewhere this bitch is worth money and that’s what keeps them up all night memorizing this shit, or maybe it’s just because the paparazzi are a fuckin scam and the reality is that PR agents are hiring them to show up and snap some pics and giving them the right to sell them as they are their own, because everyone fuckin’ knows that magazines will buy them, creating more buzz about the slut in the picture, leading to more jobs, and everyone’s happy, except me, because I don’t like the lies of their system and am a lot happier with nude pics taken from peepholes drilled in hotel bathrooms, than the candy-coated version of that shit.

So here’s Emma Rigby someone no one’s heard of, but who is obviously trying to generate some buzz, and she’s wearing a bikini. She’s on a show called Hollyoaks I guess she’s trying to break into America, since it is the promised land of opportunity and shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Emma Rigby

2008

Nov

Coco Does Halloween Since She’s Done Everyone Else of the Day

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I really dropped the ball on Halloween. I had this whole idea that I’d actually get off my ass and take the time to figure out a clever costume and go to parties where girls dressed like whores would talk to me and by talk to me I mean show me their vaginas, but I realized that my brain is a lot less lazy than my body and I just couldn’t bring myself to leave my house. Part of the reason was that my wife had taken an orange t-shirt and drew a jack-o-latern on the shit and thought she was so funny, leaving me forced to deal with what my life had become and an obese woman dressed like a fuckin’ pumpkin, which turned out to be a really mood killer. Then when heading to the store to get myself a couple 40s of beer, I ran into a dad taking his kids trick or treating and motherfucker was wearing fuckin’ pantyhose, which was totally fuckin’ inappropriate as far as I’m concerned and made me consider calling the police on the pervert, before realizing that I am too lazy for that, so I just went to my neighbor’s house and passed out watching some shitty horror movies, only to wake up with him snuggled up against me, leading me to question my sexuality, so all in all it was a fuckin’ disaster.

Speakin’ of disaster, here’s Coco and her big ass out for Halloween in pictures you’ve probably already seen because of that whole laziness thing I’ve been talking about all post.

Posted in:Coco|Halloween

2008

Nov

Pixie Geldof’s 18 Year Old Pierced Nipple of the Day

4 Comments »

I don’t know if you know who the Geldof’s are, but I know a bit about them. I know that Bob Geldof is the father of this piece of work, he is a rocker who does charity events like Live Aid in the 80s and Live 8 last year, who is clearly lived the rockstar life with his wife and the mother of this piece of work who died of a drug overdose. She has a sister named Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Drummey Geldof, at least that’s the crazy name they have for her in Wikipedia, giving me an idea on how these fuck-ups were raised. She has been a scandelous socialite party girl in the UK for a while, has had a reality TV show or two and lives in the USA now. She is always on the cover of the tabloids and people seem to give a fuck about this bitch, like Americans care about Paris Hilton, and the whole lot of them are totally dysfunctional, drug using, exhibitionists and when the 18 year old sister Pixie follows her disturbing ways by showing off her titty ring, I am not complaining, it’s more interesting than watching rich girls go to the country club for a game of tennis with their royal boyfriends, or sitting on the sidelines of a Polo match in their summer hats sipping tea. This is the new generation of money fuckin’ up kids and I like to keep tabs, at least I do today, because self destruction because you are bored since you have everything, is more fun than self destruction when you are hurting because you have nothin’.

Think about that while I try to pull myself together and get some posts worth reading up, it’s been the challenge of the last 4 years and I still haven’t got to that level, but maybe I will, so I expect you to keep coming back, like I expect Pixie and Peaches to die of drug overdoses.

Posted in:Nipple|Pixie Geldof