DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day

Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day

Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day

Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day

Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

Oct

Lil Wayne’s Million Dollar Birthday of the Day

4 Comments »

I like Lil Wayne. I’ve been forced to listen to his music and his rhymes are funny. He’s like a comedian and doesn’t take himself too seriously and it makes for a good time. The other reason I like Lil Wayne is because so does every single young hot girl out there and it gives us something to talk about when I see them out in bars and I’m trying to get invited back to their house for a warm shower and meal….

This past weekened, Lil Wayne celebrated his birthday at Mansion in Miami, he turned 26 and his adoptive father/ lover, Birdman, who apparently made him who he is today and they even have matching crosses on their foreheard to show their love for eachother and despite that making me feel really uncomfortable, like the time I saw a street hustlin’ kid get into a Mercedes with some rich Jewish guy to service him, it matches all their other tattoos that leave them lookin’ more like a public bathroom stall in a gay bar, and god knows I know what those look like, than a rich famous rapper.

Either way, Birdman brought him a breifcase with a million dollars as a gift and it’s nice to see that the economic crisis is really taking a toll on their spending and lifestyle. I hear he’ll be eating cereal with water for the next couple months to make up for this gift, but it’ll probably be worth it as Lil Wayne and him pop some E and pretend each other’s asses are vaginas for the rest of the week, because I hear that’s the kind of thing you gotta do to make a million dollars these days….and it’s probably worth it.

Posted in:Lil Wayne|Million Dollars

2008

Oct

Caroline D’Amore Stands Up for the Celebrities, Even Though She Isn’t One of the Day

10 Comments »

I don’t know if you can read that….but it says

ur just jelly …and all u do is talk about people who do things…get a job . 🙂

Who? Caroline D’Amore is a joke of Hollywood because he dad owns pizza restaurants and she has been invited to Paris Hilton’s Malibu beach party twice and spends her time DJing badly around North America with one of the chicks in the Pussycat Dolls, making fools of themselves, but always walking away thinking they are fabulous because they are delusional and play pre-recorded badly mixed mixes while doing the Paris Hilton dance in the DJ Booth.

I don’t know what fired her up to send that to me today, to give me a piece of her mind about what I do with my days, and how I am mocking people who according to her “actually do things”, when those things are getting over-fucking paid to be lazy lying people but this is what I responded because I had nothing better to do….

Jelly cuz I am fat, or jelly, like a Paris Hilton poser would say jealous?

I don’t know why you’d send me such hateful messages over facebook, but I do know that going to bars and dancing around “DJing badly” like an idiot is not a fuckin’ job, even if by some miracle someone happens to pay you out of confusion. What is a job is impersonating Celine Dion, and you look like you are naturally gifted for that.

You should know that daddy’s money isnt considered work either and neither is owning one of your dad’s pizza franchises that he gave you to justify your allowance that you make some poor mexican work and have managed by other people while you sit around doing nothing all day.

You are the mockery of the people I rip into- even Paris Hilton thinks you are a waste of fucking space and last week’s pizza restaurant garbage and desperate for attention because daddy was too busy eating someone else’s pizza pie to spend time with his ugly, Celine Dion looking daughter 🙂

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

That’s a nice way to start off the day, I am sure if I was actually awake it would be post worthy, but I am tired and posting it anyway, because getting hateful messages from retarded fame whores seems like I’m making progress with the site even though the only reason this bitch knows who I am is because I am the only person in the world to have writen about her and when she google’s her name, I’m the only result, at least that’s what I assume….Here are some pics of her in a bikini from long ago….

And another set…

Posted in:Caroline D'Amore

2008

Oct

stepLINKS of the Day

3 Comments »

I may not be doing that good, but I am doing better than the 10 year old fat asian kid I saw trying to keep up with his friends as they ran to McDonald’s, poor fucking couldn’t keep up and had to walk it out, depsite how badly he wanted that burger that got him in this mess in the first place.

Here are my links…and if they aren’t good enough, maybe you should consider booking a trip to Oklahoma….

Because You Can Only Get So Interactive on the Porn Side of Things
GO

One of the World’s Fattest Men Has Passed Away, But I Am Still Alive and Kicking…Obesity Won’t Stop Me…Except from Running Up the Stairs….
GO

Sarah Palin is the Blair Witch
GO

Stephanie Ly Loves Chocolate and I Love Stephanie Ly
GO

Jennifer Allisons Newest Calendar Shoot
GO

Like Taking Candy From a Baby
GO

Who Needs a Real Baby When This One is So Life Like?
GO

Here’s Hayden Panty Airs in the Most Fuckable Positions Ever
GO

So THAT’S How Posh Keeps Her Face Looking So Fresh
GO

Angelina Jolie Can Do No Wrong
GO

I Long for the Old Days, SO Here is a Lohan Upskirt Throwback
Memories….
GO

I Wanna Punch Each of the Real House Wives of Orange County in the Face
GO

Are You Drunker Than Amy Winehouse?
GO

The Best Moments is Salma Hayeks Tits Ever – A Tribute
GO

I Mean Who Doesn’t Have Trouble Peeing When They Are Drunk?
GO

Molotov Cocktail Baseball is Amazing
GO

If Jamie Lynn is Preggers Again, There is Really Just No Hope
GO

If It’s Not Dirt Cheap, I Don’t Want It
GO

Bear Market/Bare Ladies
GO

And That’s Why You Don’t Hold a Shotgun Target
GO

Because We Are All Searching for Something
GO

A Little Celeste Star Should Pick You Up
GO

Teen Blond Takes Off Her Blue Dress
GO

The City of Anaheim Hates Miley Cyrus
GO

I Forgot How Hot Debra Messing Was
GO

Travis Barker Talks About the Plane Crash
GO

Some People Have All the Fucking Luck, I swear to God
GO

Bill Maher Says Vote For BBQ!
GO

In the Temple is Techno
GO

Jennifer Lopez is Totally Joining Xenu’s Cult
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Some People Are Just Retarded
GO

Z True Hollywood Story
GO

Find the Best Porn You’ll Watch This Hour
GO

Dutch News Host Gets a BJ!!!
GO

wow, This is Fucking Creepy
GO

Katherine McPhee is Completelt Irrelevant
GO

Kristina and Paulina Are At the Beach
GO

Katie Fey is Lovely in Orange
GO

Lauren Becall is Losing Her Shit
GO

Round and Round We Go!!
The Biggest Swing Ever!
GO

the Best of Ari Gold
GO

Gemma Merna is Tasty
GO

Make Some Gore Make Up For Halloween
GO

A Naked Bitch is the Best Kind of Bitch
GO

CSI: TMZ, They Don’t Let a Nipple Slip Get Past Them Viral
GO

Hot Models or Sluts Whot Think They are Models Playing Softball….Video….
GO

Playing With Lohan’s Myspace Blog and the Weirdos Who Comment on It
GO

Fall TV’s Hottest Stars
GO

One of the Weirder Lactating Big Breast Fetish Videos I’ve Seen and Lord Knows I’ve Seen Many…
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Tits At Burning Man on FLICKR
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63114167@N00/2861128415/sizes/l/in/set-72157607318363729/”target=”_blank”> GO

And Another Burning Man – Not DJ AM – But Possibly A Man…TIT
http://www.flickr.com/photos/63114167@N00/2861126323/sizes/l/in/set-72157607318363729/”target=”_blank”> GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

Oct

The Paparazzi Don’t Just Own Pictures Anymore – They Own Stories of the Day

12 Comments »

I have been having issues with the paparazzi for a long fucking time. They hit me up for using their pictures all the fucking time, and despite hating them for annoying me, I get what they are doing, because it is their business and they are the ones who own the images by law. Morally, I still don’t think it’s right and if I find something on the internet for my personal blog, I should be allowed to post it and comment on it. I feel like with these copyright regulations my hands are tied behind my back, like I can’t talk about things I want to talk about, because they want 500 dollars an image and to me, that is wrong, it is extortion, especially coming from scum like them.

To me, the internet is a place to exchange information and ideas and shouldn’t be regulated, but I am old school like that, and those days are a thing of the past as bigger companies move in on the shit, but regardless of our moral disagreement, I still get their side of the story and I still take down the pictures when I get notices, because the pictures are something tangible that belongs to them.

I won’t ever pay those assholes the insane prices that don’t really make any sense for a site that makes no money to pay, unless this site starts making some money, but when this email was forwarded to me I had no choice but to post it.

We have sold a story to TMZ.com about Gerard Butler attacking our photographer. If you want to run anything on this story please contact me…crediting TMZ should not be done. If anyone runs a story on it we will negotiate a fee.

thanks,

Sales Manager
INF (Insight News & Features)
321 West 44th Street, Suite 702
New York, NY 10036
Ph: 212.582.0066
Fx: 212.582.0498

The fucking paparazzi are selling stories now. They want fucking money for a fucking story they think they broke about someone no one gives a fuck about. They don’t want us crediting TMZ, they want to get paid. So now, the paparazzi are trying to control and profit off fucking stories and if we get caught mentioning their story, or linking to their story, we get fuckin’ billed for it.

I find that fucking INSANE, it makes no fucking sense to me. That means that if I read something on another site, I can’t write about it because I don’t own the rights to talk about it. Fuck them.

For the record, I’ve broken my fair share of stories to the internet over the last bunch of years, and still haven’t seen a fucking dime from it, I don’t see how these people can legally get away with what they are doing. It just makes no sense.

On a side note, I know a girl who banged Gerard Butler when he was filming 300 in Montreal and he had turned down drinking and coke for the role so he wasn’t all that fun to hang out with. If you use this story, feel free to send a check my way. I may throw in the nude shots of him that I’ve been sitting on for 2 -3 years, because I don’t run that kind of site, but we’ll have to negotiate.

Posted in:Paparazzi Scum

2008

Oct

Katy Perry Performs on Leno and Her Fans are Creepy of the Day

7 Comments »

I have been confused as to who likes Katy Perry, because I know that I don’t but there’s got to be people who do, otherwise she wouldn’t be around all the fucking time, leading to me hating her in the first place. I thought maybe it was teenage girls, who liked the bubble gum factor and could relate since they are going through that whole kissing each other phase you masturbate to, then I thought maybe it was office types, who never got wild and kissed a girl, and live vicariously through Katy Perry’s experience while bored at the office, then I was thinking it was mainstream people, who just like what they are told to like, the same people who watch American Idol and buy the Clay Aiken CDs, thinking that there’s something wrong with them if they don’t like the song, and I always forgot that there’s probably a lot of creepy motherfuckers listening to this song, while watching teenage girls on YouTube dancing around in their underwear, you know, the same kind of dude who finds out that Katy Perry is on Leno and sets up his camera to document the performance to archive for later use on YouTube and really enjoying the whole snuff film feel of the whole thing, because it is similar to what he would shoot to document their wedding video, if he ever had the chance to kidnap the bitch and bring her to his cabin in the woods and marry her against her will in hopes of spending the rest of their lives together, before realizing he’s going to go to jail, and if he can’t have her, no one will, so he kills her off to get rid of the evidence, making him a hero in my books, just a really creepy, psycho hero who deserves life in prison for liking her enough to do all this to her in the first place. If you know what I mean.

Posted in:Katy Perry|Leno

2008

Oct

Marisa Miller Does Harley Ads of the Day

Comments Off on Marisa Miller Does Harley Ads of the Day

I am not attracted to chicks who ride motor bikes. They are the same kind of girls who drink beer and like bar brawls. They fuck you like crazy because the vibrations of their motorbikes make them walking verge of cumming sluts, but they are rarely fucking hot and when they are hot, they are usually lesbian or into wearing Ed Hardy and getting shitty tattoos and fake tits, and that shit just doesn’t do it for me. Maybe I’m too picky, but I’m more into girls who are scared of the world and want guidance, not ones who want to grab life by the balls and see where the road takes them.

I understand what Harley’s doing in bookin’ Marisa Miller to be their hot biker slut, simulating sex on one of their bikes like a lame poster or calendar you’d find at a mechanic’s garage in the 80s, but motorbikes just makes me think of fat chicks who like wrestling and pulling out their fat tits when drunk, the same kind of girl who would rape you if she crossed you in a dark alley and I can’t really see past that, watch the video of some biker slut I saw when on a drive with a friend, be careful though, shit’s hotter than DJ AM’s skin, and I hear that’s so hot it’s melting.

Posted in:Harley Ad|Marisa Miller|stepTV|Uncategorized

2008

Oct

Ashley Tisdale Ugly Watch of the Day

18 Comments »

I don’t like that Ashley Tisdale is giving us the sex eyes because she isn’t hot, it is actually pretty fucking offensive. If she really wanted to turn us on, she would have never left the house, or maybe she would have pulled her hair in front of her face like she was Cousin It, or she’d rock a Richard Nixon mask while running around screaming that she’s not a crook naked, or something that could at least let us focus on her vagina for a couple of minuts and forget what it’s attached to.

It’s like the typical ugly chick who doesn’t know she’s ugly because she hangs with girls who are uglier than her and her entourage always tell her how good looking sh eis and ends up living in an imaginary fantasy world, where all the boys want her and not her friends and she develops the self confidence to not kill herself or just embrace the fact that she’s ugly and becoming a comedian, because that’s what ugly people in Hollywood are supposed to do. Playing this sex symbol to 13 year olds is just going to fuck up the system, making boys think this is hot, leading to ugly girls getting boyfriends when they are supposed to stay at home friday nights knitting with their moms a few years down the road or even worse….homosexuality.

On a side note, happy Yom Kippur to Ashley Tisdale and all the Jews out there. The man on the radio just let me know that you all have to fast. Good luck with that and remember it’s a small price to pay for legal, medical and entertainment careers that pay lots of money, so it’s worth the struggle, despite the whining I am sure all your Jew houses are going to hear tonight, you know whimpers about how hungry you are and how light headed you are and how you think you’re going to die if you don’t get a fucking bagel in you, so for that struggle, I’d like to dedicate this post to all of yous jews.

Posted in:Ashley Tisdale|Ugly

2008

Oct

Rosario Dawson at Newsweek’s Fourth Annual Women and Leadership Conference of the Day

2 Comments »

I wasn’t invited to the Fourth Annual Women and Leadership conference, but Rosario Dawson was asked to attend this feminist shit, because I guess no one else answered their calls, considering her career involves being a Hollywood slut and has done nothing much for leadership, other than telling one of the dudes she’s fucking that they need more coke, but maybe I don’t represent the ideal feminist, and just can’t relate to them or understand their logic,maybe I am what feminists are against and part of the reason they have been holding Women and Leadership conferences the last four years, coincidentally the same amount of time I’ve been writing this site, but I think it’s perfectly normal to look at these pictures and try to look up Rosario Dawson’s skirt, I mean who really cares what she’s saying, we care about her pussy, so unless it’s her pussy’s doin’ the talkin, I’m not listening. I mean if girls used their vaginas as puppets and made them lips mouth the words coming out of their mouths, I’m sure we’d actually listen to them and we wouldn’t need this whole feminist movement. I guess the only way to find out is if you ladies out there start practicing in front of your mirror and cameras because I want video evidence in the next 24 hours to see if my theory is right.

This post has been brought to you in part by Sam Ronson.

Posted in:Feminst Garbage|Rosario Dawson

2008

Oct

McCain Refused to Shake Obama’s Hand of the Day

17 Comments »

I guess he doesn’t want his racist supporters thinking he’s down with black muslim people, you know considering them citizen’s and all, because if he did shake Obama’s hand he’d have a lot of ‘splainin’ to do to the hicks of America who make up the majority of his supporters, as to why he touched them there Aye-Rab Negro, knowing that Aye-Rab Negros are trying to explode America. I do have to give him some credit for making his wife do his dirty work, it’s like that time I shit the bed when drunk and refused to clean it up, because I thought it would lead to my wife being disgusted enough to sleep on the floor where she belongs, but instead she just changed the sheet, not to suggest that black muslim’s are the equivalent to shit, but they are to McCain, at least that’s what this video’s telling me….and videos don’t lie.

2008

Oct

Kristen Bell’s Political Poem of the Day

3 Comments »

I hate Kristen Bell. She is boring. Here she is doing some bullshit campaign for Gap that made me hate her more.

I wrote a poem, even though I hate poems and find them really fucking gay, but I did it because I had no choice and it turns out that it’s a lot better than this candy-coated Gap bullshit that she sold her soul for a dollar to the Gap Devils like she was Perez Hilton….and it goes like that.

For all the virgins and the guy’s who like comics
For All the married men who’s wive’s make them vomit

For All the men that don’t do men and the girls who are just like them
For All the bored and the social outcasts who are forgotten

For All the porn addicts and the rapists
For All the guys who like to wear bracelets

For All the losers who masturbate a lot
and all the guys who have contemplated fucking a robot

Those who can’t talk and those who can’t write
There’s a way you can help and try to do right
Take of your shirt and even your skirt
Spread your little pussy and make it squirt

Squirt for for those who can’t squirt at all
Or those who have only see one pussy that was their mom’s
if only for one tuesday late in the fall….

Squirt for those who can’t.

drunkenstepfather.com

Posted in:Uncategorized