I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

10

Sep

Christina Milian in a Slutty Dress of the Day

Remember Christina Milian from that video where she rolls around in mud, wishing she was black, like the time I put shoe polish on my face and sang slave songs in a pretty shitty southern, broken english accent because I thought it would get me street cred, when all it really did was get me a lot of dirty looks because the black peole were convinced I was mocking them and didn’t realize I was trying to be down with them because I love black girls. I love the skinny ones at least, with their long legs and tight bodies and know how to move all with low expectations when it comes to Christmas, they are just happy to not get shot, so they don’t cost that much while white girls expect so much out of you, whether it’s time, gifts or hugs. I guess it’s because black guys aren’t too down with waiting around for them, especially after knocking them up.

I don’t love the fat black girls because they are horny, aggressive and stronger than me and because I don’t like fat chicks in general. About 2 months ago, I was walking around some hotel lobby, as I do lookin’ for unsuspecting girls from out of town, when some big ol’ Aunt Jamima lookin girl puts her really big arm around my shoulder and asks me what I am doing in town, how long I’m here for and who I am with. Knowing she wants to get paid to suck me off, I tell her I am waitin for my wife, that I am here all week, be sure to try the steak and she gets all mad and tells me how badly she wanted to keep me company all week, for 50 dollars a day. I told her I was offended that she would take me for the kind of guy who needs to pay for friends and sex, then cried into her big ol’ Aunt Jamima arms when I realized that I was the kind of guy who needs to ay for sex because girls just don’t like me, but they do when I am paying them to and that works for me.

Since we’re talking about whores here, here’s some Christina Milian trying to stay in the picture by wearing some slutty dress you want to fuck off her.

Posted in:Christina Milian|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

The Best Videos of People Doing a Dance to Rihanna’s Disturbia I Could Find in 3 Minutes of the Day

I decided to look up random people dancing to the song Disturbia because I was bored and not feeling creative and that song is on all the fuckin’ time. None of these girls have the dirty moves I’ve seen girls do in clubs to this song, but it’s always funny watching white people dance. I don’t know if everyone is 18 on this shit, but I blame Youtube for not providing a warning or disclaimer and breeding a whole new generation of dudes who get off to young girls in their underwear by making it a lot more accessible than slipping roofies in their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, if you know what I mean. Which you do….

I am sure there are better videos of this out there, but I’m not going to bother lookin’ for them.

Posted in:Rihanna|Uncategorized|Youtube

2008

10

Sep

Blake Lively is a Leprochaun of the Day

Despite popular belief, there is nothing hot about Blake Lively and these pictures of her dressed like a fucking Leprochaun, or some used Kleenex pretty much prove it. I hate when girls who don’t deserve attention get attention because we have enough ugly chicks in the world, and should do everything in our power to break them down, to realize that they are ugly so they develop complexes and never leave their houses because they feel too ugly to and because everytme they do leave their houses, they have guys like me pointing and laughing at them, until they eventually don’t bother making the world a much nicer place. So as useless as Blake Lively seems, she’s got the power to change the world by caging one ugly bitch at a time, starting with her.

Instead, she’s got this ego that she’s important and hot and that people like her and I think that along with September 11, AIDs and poverty, that is one of life’s great tragedies.

Posted in:Blake Lively|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Jojo is Still Alive for the People Who Still Jerk Off the Her Music Videos of the Day

Remember Jojo, the ghetto chick who spoke with a black accent and dated rich teenage rappers like Lil Bow Wow or the other one who I can’t remember right now. She’s the girl all these perverts were so excited to see turn 18 because they thought she was so hot and once she turned 18, everyone forgot about her, which leads me to believe that everyone is just a bunch of perverts who find a bitch hot because she’s illegal to fuck and the second she’s no longer official jailbait, they forget about obsessing over.

I never thought Jojo was hot or would turn out to be hot and I was right, but that’s just because I don’t look at jailbait as the forbidden fruit, I look at is as easy pickins, I mean not for me, but for someone with decent looks and a little charm, because their little minds are so easy to manipulate into doing all the evil things you want them to do because they just want to be adults and being an adult usually involves sitting on a dick, so instead of jerking off to their music videos, you should just tell them that grown girls never say no to your requests and make them feel insecure about being young by saying things like “if you were older you’d be so hot” or “if you were older you’d be way more fun to hang out with” and before long, they’ll be workin’ you like they work their crimpin iron or whatever the McDonald’s cash register you met them at…..

Either way, here’s some Jojo in purple….

Posted in:JoJo|Jojo Levesque|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Hayden Panettiere’s Feeling Herself Up of the Day

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I am guessing these pictures came out yesterday and they are of Hayden Panettiere adjusting her tits since no one she knows wants to do it for her for fear that their friends will call them gay and you know how hard it is to live down that rumor. The truth is that I don’t really understand why she has to turn to masturbation when there are a lot of perverts with no standards out there and the truth is that we all grew up with Tonka Trucks and she’s just the real life female version only instead of filling her up with sand in the sandbox, you can fill her up with cum in her manly box, that is rumored to still be a box despite the fact that it’s got a six pack, knows how to do chin ups and can crush a can of beer with it’s clit hood, at least that’s the rumor.

Truth is this post is stupid and so am I so I’ll keep it up anyway because I like the direction I tried to go with this, I just didn’t really deliver as well as Hayden did with her titties, ya homo.

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Posted in:Breasts|Hayden Panettiere|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Jessica Simpson’s Titties Play With Microphones of the Day

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Jessica Simpson rocks the mic like she rocks a dick and that’s not very well, otherwise she’d be the one pregnant and married and not her ugly, useless sister. I don’t really have anything else to say about that because the quality of Ashlee Simpson’s baby daddy is seriously questionable, but I know that the old maid of sister is jealous and that keeps me goin’ because other people’s pain is my fuel…

Posted in:Breasts|Jessica Simpson|Uncategorized

2008

10

Sep

Sophie Monk Bikini Pictures of the Day

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It looks like I slept on these Sopie Monk pics, which is probably because everytime I think of the trash that has actually slept on Sophie Monk, like Ryan Seacrest and the Good Charlotte twin who is slamming Paris Hilton, both sexually ambiguous, Ryan Seacrest with his frosted hair and everything about him being gay and Good Charlotte for having sex with his brother because it’s seen as masturbation since they are twins, playing shitty gay anthems and most importantly because he sucks, leading me to believe that Sophie Monk may be a transexual and despite finding her kinda hot and interesting to look at like a Picasso painting, here she is with her junk taped up. I just can’t wait to see her stage show where she sings “I Will Survive” and Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” like all the trannies do at their tranny shows because there is no way this bitch doesn’t have COCK.

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk|Uncategorized

2008

09

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

Does anyone with a video camera want to do me a favor? I got invited to some porn event that I can’t get to because I am poor. It is in NYC on September 10th, that’s tomorrow. It starts at 8 pm. It is VIP. I don’t know if that means it is open bar. I do know that I want to see some footage from the event, I want pictures and some stepTV action. Here are the details.

WHO:  Adult superstars and Vivid Girls Savanna Samson and Sunny Leone will introduce Hanna Hilton and Nikki Jayne in a blowout bash from Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult film producer. Hanna is a voluptuous blue-eyed blonde from Indiana and Nikki, a statuesque blonde English beauty, make their official NYC debut as Vivid Girls, the elite group of contract actresses who make erotic movies exclusively for Vivid Entertainment.
 
WHAT: Party-goers will get a sneak preview of songs from Savanna’s first album, “Possession,” from KOCH Records which will be released this month.  Nikki, Hanna, Savanna and Sunny will be available to pose for snapshots and sign copies of Vivid’s “Meggan and Hanna Love Manuel.”  All four actresses will be making appearances at EXXXOTICA New York 2008, a three-day erotic expo at The Meadowlands.

Let me know and I’ll get your name on the list for drunkenstepfather but if you are just some pervert con artist and you don’t make me a video of the event, I will be sad, but then I will post the links and I’ll be happy again. Here are today’s links.

Jessica Simpson Continues Her Shit Storm At Her Latest Show
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When Will You Assholes Ever Learn, You Are NOT Going to Make a Back Flip!
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I’m Pretty Sure Kendra Winkonson Owns No Actual Clothes and Just Wear Lingerie All Day
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And Here’s Kendra Wilkonson Wearing a Wig
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Lindsay Lohan Isn’t Wearing a Bra
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The Ten Hottest Female Politicians of All Time
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I Hate Katy Perry and I Wish She Was Dead
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Porn, What Is It Good For?
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Jesus Will Be Your Friend No Matter What
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Why Hello Diana Falzone
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Miss World Upskirt Throwback
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Man, I Love Me Some Kate Beckinsale
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Whoose Footbal Boobs?
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Don’t Be Racisy in an Elevator
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Now That’s What I Call Getting Your College Education
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Someone Else Hates Noel Gallagher As Much as I Do
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When Samuel L Jackson Auditioned for Titanic
(This is Actually Him)
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Making Mom and Dad Proud
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Because It Isn’t Really Sex If Your By Yourself
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Welcome to the Meth Minute
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With a Name Like Cinta Dicker, You Can’t Help But Expect Jokes
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Roman Candle Shot in Mouth
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Ranch Party Fun
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Sandy Summers Straps and Silver
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BEACH BABES!
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Puff Daddy is a Liar
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Siphie Monk Bikini Fun
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Khloe and Kim Kardashian Think They Are Fashion Designers
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Bollywood Can Do No Wrong
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Taylor Momsen at Fashion Week
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Nicole Richie Would Look Kind of Hot If She Took That Fucking Head Band Off
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Getting Sex Is Now Almost As Easy As Using Your Own Hand
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Striptease of the Day
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Monkey Tries to Steal Car
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Red Neckin’!!
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Diesel Renzo Rosso Totally Looks Like a Pedo
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Loora Wants to Teach You How to Play the Piano
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Kathy Wants to Help Pick You Up
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Man, Usher Needs a Smack Up Side the Head
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Will He Make It?
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Steven Speilberg is Getting Sued Because He Can’t Think Of His Own Ideas
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Lynne Spears is Mother of the Year
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Erica Campbell Will cure Your Blues
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Pornstar Taylor Wayne Talks About Her Dogs….
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This is Some of the Craziest Online Sex Around….I Think You May Have To Sign Up….
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These People Consider Masturbation the New Fucking Whores and Other Chicks aka Cheating because they are CRAZY
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Thought you might like these chicks in Handbras
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Dude Where’s My Vagina? Playboy Brazil Overdid Photoshop….
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ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Older Chick Topless
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Some Hot Naked Amateur
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Some Chick Shows Off Her Vagina and Booty
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

09

Sep

Mini Me Sex Tape Hits the Internet of the Day

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If you were scared that you wouldn’t get your chance to see the Mini Me having sex with a regular sized girl because you are a sick fuck who gets off to sick things and who is probably a threat to society despite the fact that you get off to these things in the privacy of your own home and are not out hustling midgets at a short people convention and by hustling I mean raping, because of the whole lawsuit out against all the companies involved in releasing the sex tape, you are in luck.

Some Chinese company got their hands on the sex tape and are selling it for 10 dollars and that means it is probably already out on the Internet to download. I haven’t bothered trying to get it because the internet connection I am on is fucking shit and it is taking me an hour to upload an image, but I figure you and your creepy yet crafty internet ways will be able to find it and do all the dirty things you want to do with it until your mom finds it on the computer and organizes a sit down with you to discuss the direction of your life, where you will have to play off that you were just curious to see one of your favorite actors doing it, because you were convinced it was all just some weird joke until seeing his mini penis/arm entering her vag, to which she will probably ask to watch the clip with you for a good awkward and uncomfortable laugh and she will finally understand where you are coming from because the real tragedy in all this is that Mini Me has never been recognized for an Oscar for any of his work.

So the Mini Me sex tape brings families together according to me. It also cures sex offenders. And it can be all yours motherfucker.


For the record, these people aren’t advertisers and are not paying me. I am not endorsing them, so if shit’s a scam don’t come running after me for turning you onto the site. I am just letting you know what I know. Enjoy…..
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Posted in:Mini Me|Sex Tape|Uncategorized

2008

09

Sep

Halle Berry Takes Her Big Mom Tits Out for a Walk of the Day

Halle Berry still has big hot tits and she still takes them out for walks and I still have no idea what she is doing or what she has been doing, but I do know that I would play her like a guitar if I could, which may not be saying much considering I have no idea how to play the guitar and when I awkwardly poke and flick at my friend’s guitar making disgusting sounds come out of it it is pretty much the exact same as when I have sex, so it’s saying something and that something is that this bitch looks like a lot of fun to have horrible sex with despite the whole baby thing….

Posted in:Halle Berry|Mom Tits|Uncategorized