I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

05

Sep

Kristin Cavallari is Drunk of the Day

People and by people I mean one person has been asking for more Kristin Cavallari, the bitch from Laguna Beach who opted out of the spin-off that unfortunately turned out to be the biggest fucking thing on TV unfortunately. I realize I said unfortunately twice because the one thing I can relate toKristin Cavallari on is that we both want to kill ourselves because of The Hills. Sure I want to kill myself because everytime I come across the lies and people talking about the lies and the ugly people perpetuating the lies of that show, it makes me hate society, while Kristin Cavallari is probably realizing she missed her meal ticket by being a cunt who thought she was bigger and better than a spin off show that would ruin her fictitious career she thought she was going to have after Laguna Beach cuz of ego, while it would have been the biggest payout of her career.

So while Heidi is out there making millions and Kristin is a talentless thing of the past, who just didn’t know her worth as a piece of shit fake reality star, and she’s drinking her sorrows away to deal with it, but the truth is, it is probably a better life than being Heidi Montag….but then again being a retarded castrated deaf, blind, mute with a terminal illness and a skin disorder that makes you itch and burn all the time with no control over your bladder ever since the accident that left you a quadruple amputee and you still are lucky to not be Heidi Montag. She is that bad.

Posted in:Drunk|Kristin Cavallari

2008

05

Sep

Kim Kardashian is a Fat Pig in Gogo Boots Shopping of the Day

Drunkenstepfather.com supports eating disorders. Kim Kardashian doesn’t.

This bitch looks hefty as fuck when shopping for new clothes because she outgrew her old wardrobe because overeating and being a lazy bitch does that do you. These pics may be old but who really cares…she always looks the same…

Posted in:Fat|Kim Kardashian|Uncategorized

2008

05

Sep

Halle Berry’s Got Some Big Tits of the Day

I was walking down the street and saw a group of highschool girls in highschool uniforms gossiping like the bitches they looked like. They were going off about how one of them got an abortion and how she’s such a slut for not telling them and I had no choice but to stop and listen because it was really fuckin’ hot, what isn’t hot is the fact that Halle Berry didn’t have an abortion, but at least she has tits to show for her disgusting pregnancy..

Posted in:Halle Berry|Tits

2008

05

Sep

Melanie Brown Carries Shit in Tight Clothes of the Day

So Melanie Brown rocks a bag of shit better than I do. I mean that shit disgusts me and is the reason I don’t have a dog. I just can’t handle touching another living things feces no matter how loyal of a friend I think it is. I have dog sat for people before, which is surprising considering I wouldn’t trust me taking care of much, let alone my little buddy, but they obviously had no alternative and everytime I remembered to walk that dog, I’d never pick up his shit, I actually felt awkward watching it shit as it looked back at me as to say “what the fuck are you watching me shit for you sick fuck” and I’d leave it behind on the sidewalk. When I didn’t remember to walk the dog and It shit in the house, I’d just spray it with Fabreeze and wait for it to dry up so I could borrow my neighbors vaccuum to clean it up a few months later. I figure that the smell of floral dog shit is better than the smell of my bed sheets thanks to my wife, so it all worked out in the end.

I always laugh when I see a person pick up their dog’s shit, I always gag when I see the shit in the bag and the fact that Mel B is carrying her dog shit disgusts me. Can’t she afford a hired slave to do this shit for her, is she trying to prove that she’s still that bright eyed whore from a modest home in the UK that she always was, only a little older, a with more shit in her hand. So this one’s for you dog scat porn lovers.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

05

Sep

Tila Tequila’s Got Some Hot Cleavage of the Day

I met Tila Tequila once, if you count being in the same building as her when she was hosting a celebrity event after lying to one of the bouncers saying I was her manager getting me about 20 feet of her and not really bothering to check her out because I was more interested in seeing people who go out to get autographs by this nobody, because they’d probably be more than willing to believe me when I tell them that I have an MTV show nobody watches and that I am a guest of Tila’s and that if they show me their tits, buy me a drink and put my penis in their mouth, I’ll introduce them, but instead got too drunk to do much more than drink more and not talk to anyone.

She seemed nice enough, like she knew she didn’t deserve the attention she was getting or the money she’s made being a whore and a liar who isn’t all that hot, and that made her more appreciative to her fans, despite not letting them hug her. That night I found out that Tila had a boyfriend the entire 2 seasons of her show and that everything you see about her out in public is a fucking lie and all part of her image, including this fake titty cleavage and weird hipster headband, but the Alien head is all real.

Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus – Here are some pictures of her really ugly lesbian publicity stunt, who was once Lohan’s really ugly lesbian stunt and who is trying to stay in the picture because her daddy wasn’t there for her all those years he worked long hours at Yahoo! and someone’s gonna notice her fuck, at least that’s what she’s hoping, what she doesn’t realize is that we all notice her, because she’s fucking uglier than my wife’s shit that I have to clean off the toilet, only more Jewish.

Posted in:cleavage|Tila Tequila

2008

05

Sep

Christina Aguilera in Some Stupid Outfit Promoting the VMAs of the Day

I walked into some comedy show wasted a few months ago and it fucking sucked, before this dude Russel Brand got on stage. Sure his Amy Winehouse hair and jeans tighter than your asshole before you discovered you liked what how it felt when you started shoving thngs in your ass, threw me off a little, but he was legitimately funny. He had a good energy, vocabulary and his jokes were just smater than all the other comedians despite only being able to understand half of them. I told the girl I was with that he was going to be famous, and he told me he already was in the UK and worked at MTV. She said he had some kind of heroin addiction and now he was going Hollywood and I was surprised because normally the talent Hollywood picks up from overseas sucks.

He will be hosting the VMAs this weekend, the same VMAs that rejected press access for me, and if I cared enough and owned a TV, I’d consider watching it, but probably not to see this jackass use the same jokes I’ve already heard him use, but to see Christina in Britney’s shadow one more time, 15 years after being in her shadow started, like some kind of reunion because in case you haven’t heard, Britney is opening the show and based on these promo shots, I guess Aguilera will be playing the show, but we don’t really care about her, we just care about her beauty secrets, because deep down inside we all wish we could pull off this Asian, busty whore look. Seriously, she looks like a different person than she was, maybe it’s just a stand in and she’s off on the beach somewhere, but they say it’s really her and I guess we have no choice but to blame the jews because her jew Plastic Surgeons did this to her after she married a Jew and had its Jew baby. I’d still fuck her pregnancy gut at cum all over her stretchmarks but that’s just because I liked her at one time and can’t turn my back on her now that God has, not to mention those new eyes of her would help me play out my Vietnam war vetran fantasies of raping small jungle villages, the big fake titty, Hollywood version.

Posted in:Christina Aguilera|Tits|VMAS

2008

05

Sep

Brody Jenner’s Mom is in a Bikini of the Day

Brody Jenner has some old, plastic surgery ridden socialite of a mother and here she is in a bikini. Now I am not a fan of plastic surgery abused rich women who spend their lives attending social events, but I am a fan of bikinis so I was torn yet still forced to post it. I don’t know anything about Brody Jenner or his background and I think there’s a good reason for that and that reason is that motherfucker is useless and lame as fuck and it would give me so much satisfaction to give his mom herpes and send him the pics, but I am sure it wouldn’t be a first for him, since she’s probably always been a slut and this look is not something she’s grown into, but something she’s paid in efforts to maintain her key to the good life.

Speaking of the good life I saw some rich chick in the backseat of her Benz with her filipino pull up to a store and as she sat there, the filino ran inside, got the manager and dude came out with a selection of designer sunglasses to try on while she sat there with the window down being served more than anyone, no matter how good a customer she is, deserved to be served. It was extreme rich laziness that probably makes her shitty in bed because she’s too jacked up on valium to thrust her hips that got her rich in the first place, and when she was done she yelled at the filipino to hurry up. I tried chiming in to get her to take me on as her sex slave, but she didn’t even acknowledge me no matter how many times I whipped out my testicles from about 10 feet away. I guess she thought she was too good for my kind and she was probably right.

Either way, here’s Brody Jenner, I am sure she’s just as much of a cunt as the obnoxious shopper I saw yesterday…but at least Jenner’s mom takes her clothes off. I haven’t figured out if that’s a good thing, but I am pretty sure it isn’t especially considering the STD that dripped out of her to form what the world knows as Brody…..

Posted in:Bikini|Brody Jenner|Mom

2008

05

Sep

Akon Slaps Some Chick in Concert of the Day

I mentionned that I saw Akon live with my stepdaughter when they rolled through Montreal a few months ago and he put on an amazing show. Along with all the teenage girls going crazy for him and the black hoochies wishing he was their baby daddy, he got the rest of the crowd going pretty crazy. He did some thing I never saw at a big concert and that was crowd surf and interact with his audience who was fucking psycho, I guess he didn’t care because it was less dangerous than war torn Mother Africa where he is from, but I do know that the girls on the floor were going crazy. Grabbing at him and trying to pull his pants down and dude didn’t miss a fuckin’ beat. I guess shit got nuts in whatever city he’s in in this video, but dude slaps a bitch down because she hugs him. I’m not going to take sides, because where he is from, it’s okay to beat your multiple wives in your tribe and whether hitting a girl is deemed right or wrong doesn’t matter, when you’re grabbed at or attacked you’re going to get defensive cuz your survival instinct kicks in, unfortunately every time I’ve dropped that line when girls press charges against me, shit never holds in court, but if you don’t want to get a beating, don’t step out of fuckin’ line and if you don’t want to beat a bitch, don’t put yourself in a situation where you may have to, so since this is some black on black nature channel incident, it won’t go much farther than this post, and if the chick hit was white dude would be locked up already, but I figure I will post the video anyway because there’s no better way to start a Friday than seeing some chick get slapped by some Hip Hop superstar all the girls masturbate to…

Posted in:Akon|Bitch Slaps

2008

05

Sep

stepLINKS of the Day

I got this email today:

Hey,
 
I have enjoyed your site for all its bizarre content for a while now, but must never return because of your comments to the Christians at the potluck dinner.  There is simply no sense in that and to humiliate them for no reason is senseless. 
 
If you were to go off on some other group like you went off on the nice folks at the church, everybody would hate your site, but because they are just “Christians”, no one cares.  I have to care and can’t come back.
 
My loss, unless you have anything redeeming to say other than “Pop off, sympathizer….”

I don’t like losing readers, but being an asshole or offensive or rude is kinda what I do. I have accepted that I can’t please everyone and the good news is that I don’t take much seriously because it is the internet and not real life and you shouldn’t either.

That said, I stand by my statement that Anal Sex is one of God’s Great Creations and I will have no problem showing some hot little Christian girls how it’s done and how it isn’t against God’s wish for them to remain virgins. My main problem with making this happen is my whole impotency thing, but it’s something we can try to work through.

Here are my links….

Sluts Who Get the Job Done
GO

Being Stranded With Pot Farmers Doesn’t Sound So Bad
GO

Amy Winehouse with Her Best Friend Jack
GO

Abigail Clancy is in FHM
GO

Audrina in Some Sexy Lingerie….If Only She Wasn’t a Busted Face..
GO

Bikini Detectives!
GO

Carrie Underwood Called Jessica Simpson a Fat Ass. Ha Ha
GO

Holly Madison PAntyless Upskirt
GO

The 10 Hottest Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders!
GO

Bristol Palin’s Big Ol’ Alaskan Titties…
GO

The Man Show is Back!
GO

Grapes to a Fat Guy Are Like Kryptonite to SUperman
GO

Hollywood’s Sex Addicts
GO

Some 37 Year Old Mexican With Crazy Fake Tits
GO

5 Reasons This Girl  Is Better Than Beyonce
GO

Some Body Painted Chick Hanging From Hooks…
GO

Lynne Spears Parenting How To
GO

Who Says Sex From the Internet is Dead
GO

LA Bans the Opening of New Fast Food Restaurants in Poor Neighborhoods
GO

So That’s What Goes On in my Stomache Friday Night
GO

That Guy….
GO

Now’s The Time You Gotta Get Up and Boogie
GO

Vicky Blows Gallery
GO

Because the Girls On World of Warcraft Aren’t Real
GO

Little Guy Knocks Out the Bully in One Punch
GO

Art Imitating Life?
GO

Power Wheels, Power Makes It GO!
GO

Topless Bowling!!
GO

From Italy With Love
GO

The Lovely Kayden Cross
GO

Lene Alexandra
GO

Let the Trashiest Custody Battle Begin
GO

Jewel’s Bus Driver is a Great Person to Have Behind the Wheel
GO

Rachel Bilson Looks Not Completely Boring For Once in Some Magazine
GO

More People Hate Will Smith Day By Day. Awesome
GO

David Spades Bastard Child was Born
GO

Those Guidos Really Know How to Treat a Lady
GO

Can You Get Cancer in the Vagina?
GO

Get Some Sex, Virgin
GO

Eve Laurence is Wanktastic
GO

Surprise!! Disaster Movie is a Piece of Fucking Shit
GO

Failing Tanlines
GO

Ciara is Pretty Much Naked
GO

WTF is With All These Rappers And Tattoos On Their Faces
GO

Luba and Her Curves
GO

I’v Seen Danielle Lloyds Tits Almost As Many Times As My Own Moobs
GO

Security Guard FAIL!
GO

Who is Jennifer Hawkins? Who Cares, She is In a Bikini
GO

Fix a Car Dent With a Hair Dryer
GO

Some Grass Skirt Slut…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

04

Sep

Katy Perry Filming Her New Video of the Day

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

So it turns out that God hates me. I was standing in line getting a coffee today and some old dude in front of me kept coughing a gross fuckin’ cough. It sounded wet and as whatever disease was trying to escape his body, I felt sick to the thought of the phlegm in his old man mouth. I am not scared of diseases as much as I used to be, but I still like staying away from that shit with my weakened immune system that I created by treating my body like shit and just as I was about to order and get the fuck out of there, dude turned around and sneezed, in efforts to not sneeze on the chick serving him, but managed to sneeze all over my motherfuckin’ hands and face. I ran to the bathroom to scrub his shit off my face and when I came back out he came up to me to apologize and homeboy was wearing a fuckin’ priest’s outfit. I forgot the priests still exist because I am not used to seeing them and I couldn’t find it in me to yell at him since he devoted himself to god and I guess the good news is that he doesn’t have AIDS or anything, since 12 year old boys tend to not have AIDS, but it was still gross and I blame God for doing that to me, like Katy Perry should blame God for putting her on the earth because she fuckin’ sucks, but unfortunately doesn’t realize it and is probably thanking him with ever dollar she makes off this shit, so maybe we should just blame God for giving Katy Perry a career because if I have to listen to that Kissed a Girl song that is always on the radio a few more times, I may have to say goodbye to this cruel world and jump off my third story window in hopes of landing on my head, but with my luck I will survive it and be forced to live in pain for the rest of my life, so maybe I’ll just change the radio station, but I still hate this cunt and her song and that’s the end of this post.

* Access to material has been disabled in compliance with DMCA *

Posted in:Katy Perry|Video