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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Jun

Cindy Crawford Was in Montreal of the Day

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I had no idea that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal promoting the opening of some furniture because I tend to not stay on top of events that take place at Furniture Stores and try to focus my social calendar around places girls get naked and not where girls talk about decorating rooms and revamping their houses. The only reason I know that Cindy Crawford was in Montreal this past weekend, is because I accidentally had sex with her, and by sex I mean I was crossing the street when this black SUV almost ran me the fuck over around midnight, they stopped to go into some bar or hotel or some massage parlor or whatever the fuck it was and this tall chick in a red dress got out with 4 dudes who must have been her security. I was with a friend and he told me that it was Cindy Crawford so I screamed “Cindy, I used to jerk off to your playboy pics before my dick stopped working”, she ignored me and kept walking but I know she thought about it later that night while masturbating, I just have that affect on women.

Here are the pictures of her at the furniture store, a highlight in her fading career but not as much of a highlight in my fading career as screaming that to her. It is times like that that I wish I had a camera, but I’m too poor.

If you find these pictures or my Story Boring, You Can Always Watch This Clip of Cindy Crawford Taking her Panties Off on Leno
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Posted in:Cindy Crawford|Montreal

2008

Jun

Alanis Morisette Does the Howard Stern Show of the Day

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Alanis Morisette is not hot and the thought of doing anything sexual to her big scary woman in song vagina does nothing for me and it’s got nothing to do with my inadequate performing penis and everything to do with her being a fucking a dog and not a Golden Retriever kind of dog that is loyal to you and brings your a sense of responsibility and happiness in your life so that you don’t kill yourself because you feel like you aren’t alone, which you are, but a dog of a woman you wouldn’t let lick peanut butter off your dick no matter how much you drank that night.

Her horse head, obnoxious singing and her artistic integrity bullshit is boring and someone told me she talks about sex, drugs, dyking out and her ex fiance who is engaged and fucking carlet Johansson on Howard Stern, my computer is running like shit so I am putting it up while I sort this shit out.

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Posted in:Alanis Morisette|Howard Stern

2008

Jun

Amy Winehouse Punches a Fan of the Day

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Here’s a video of Amy Winehouse in concert at some big music festival this past weekend and she throws an elbow or a punch at one of her fans as she badly sings her song.

It’s moments like these that I want to share a needle with her while doing intravenous drugs, because watching the sultry and seductive way she struggles to walk across the stage because she’s out of breath and slowly dying turns me on. I guess I am kinda drawn to hurt, dying or diseased things because they are easy to catch when they try to run away from you, it’s pretty much the law of the jungle and seeing Amy Winehouse does nothing less than turn me into a raging animal that can’t be tamed.

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|fan|Punches

2008

Jun

Britney Spears Has a Hairy Ass Upskirt of the Day

3 Comments »

So Britney Spears probably isn’t fucking anyone right now and hasn’t waxed or shaved her asshole and I don’t think it’s really that big of a deal, mainly because I come from an era where normal chicks never waxed and I was like some kind of British High Society game hunter in Africa on some kind of safari trying to tame the beast, and by tame the beast I mean find the fuckin’ prize hidden behind the elements on more than one occasion. I am talking girls so fuckin’ hairy you would think their pussies were some kind of animal or even a substitute for underwear and that shit never stopped me, so seeing some ass hair poking out of Britney’s underwear doesn’t phaser me, but if I saw shit stuck to that ass hair this post would be a little less accepting of her laziness.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Hairy Ass|Upskirt

2008

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

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It’s the weekend and I still haven’t left my house to get drunk. That depresses me so I am not going to waste my time writing this post and will just leave you with the links because that’s how lazy fuckers do things. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Spend Your Weekend Telling Hot Sluts How To Make You Cum….
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Stalker of the Day
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The Naked Drummer is Becoming Famous
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Susana Wants You to Work the Power Tube
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Normal Men Get Back Pains From Working to Hard. Hugh Hefner Gets Them From Fucking Too Much
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Jodie Marsh Panty Upskirt
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Who Would You Rather Do – The Models Who Fuck Famous People Edition
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Rihanna is Bloated
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10 Best Skinny Dipping Movie Scenes
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Video Games They Could Make Porno’s Out Of:
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Stripper Doesn’t Do Her Job Very Well
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What’s Wrong With Office Masturbation?
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Balloon Bowl is Amazing

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The 394 feet Dirtbike Jump – World Record

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Let’s Laugh at Myspace Losers
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Find a Girl and Then Fuck Her
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I want Beyonce and Solange to Fight to the Death in a No Holds Barred Celebrity Death Match
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Life is About Tough Lessons
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Paris Hilton Took a Shit Bath
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Kate, Raven and Misty Put on a Show
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Jana Jordan Has a Tight Body
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The Real World…The Aftermath
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Jessica Taylor Has Got It Going On. From the Neck Down
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Fegie’s Daughter is Quite the Looker
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Lohan Still Having Labor Pains
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Leona Lewis Looks Smokin at Nelson Mandela’s Birthday
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Coco’s Implants Might Need a Tune Up
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Amateurs of the Day
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Porn You Can Thank Me For Later.
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Gina Lynn breaks the law
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Okay Not EVERYBODY Gets to Play Wii Fit in Their Underpants
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Bad Babysitter Masterbates at Work
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Tory Lane Takes It Off
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Michelle Heaton is Some Hot Broad I Have Never Heard of Hanging Out in a Lingerie Store in a Country I Have Never Been To
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Ashlynn Brooke is Busty
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Get Some Help Getting Laid This Weekend
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Mini Me is Gonna Sue the Shit Out of TMZ
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Useable NES Controller Table is Amazing
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Kitchen Bikini Slip and Slide
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Vida Guerra Photoshoot
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Guess The Celebrity Thong!
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Man, Hollywood is Running Out of Ideas Fucking Fast
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Tramp Stamp to End All Tramp Stamps
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Sara Tomasi is Hot and I Think I Love Her
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Do you women regret one-night stands more than men?
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A Plastic Surgeon’s Response to Audrina’s Fake Tits
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Funny Climate Change Ad that Doesn’t Scare Me
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Anime Fuck Sluts is Right Up Your Alley, Because You are a Loser Who Watches Too Many Cartoons
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Beat Super Mario Brothers in 5 Minutes
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BONUS – Sluts Who Can’t Say No To You, Because There Are in Photos and Can’t Talk Back
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Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Jun

Gossip Girl is Naughty of the Day

3 Comments »

The producers of Gossip Girl are trying to put to rest any rumors that one of the stars of the show is gay and they are doing it by hiring a group of sluts to flock around on the beach with him and get topless with him, but his lack of interest as he looks at his phone instead of her tips makes everything pretty clear to me. You can’t fool me Gossip Girl producers. I am onto your scheme. I’d write a funny story about this kid I know who’s dad constantly hired hookers for him after he came out because he couldn’t accept that he had a gay son and figured he’d knock some sense into him by hiring girls to pretty much rape him, but why bother it’s the end of the day Friday and I am pretty much spent, hungover and ready to drink more. That’s just the way it is but AA is coming soon, stay tuned.

Posted in:Gossip Girl|naughty

2008

Jun

Oksana Andersson Rocks Out in a Bikini of the Day

8 Comments »

Her name is Oksana Andersson and she’s some import wife of some Soccer player I know nothing about because I don’t watch sports and if I did, soccer wouldn’t be one of them, because seeing a bunch of dudes running around in the grass, all light on their feet, trying to get the ball in the net, without touching each other is just a little too reminiscent of the Gay porn I starred in. I was stuck for cash and instead of a field, it was a back alley and instead of a group of dudes trying to get the ball in the net, it was a group of dudes trying to get the balls deep in the anus, so I guess it really isn’t anything like that experience, maybe it’s just that since that horrid night, groups of men just make me feel uncomfortable, or maybe it’s because the only soccer coach I ever knew in life used to rape the little boys, giving a whole new dimension to the sport.

Either way, Oksana Andersson is obviously a mail order bride dude picked out of a catalog and modified to his liking by throwing on some tit like she’s some Japanese car in desperate need of some sub-woofers, and she is probably very grateful he helped her get out of war torn Russia that she won’t stray and if she acts up a bit, he’ll just show her pictures of people lined up for their rationed bread to keep her in check.

Here she is in a bikini….

Here she is topless…..

Posted in:Bikini|Oksana Andersson|Topless

2008

Jun

Miley Cyrus Licks Black People of the Day

207 Comments »

So it turns out that Miley Cyrus licks black people. As a member of the same church as Miley, it’s safe to say that she is completely out of control and has signed her soul over to the devil. Fuck the underage nude pictures, they are nothing compared to this picture. I guess she’s just her testing us with how far she can go and I think it’s safe to say, she’s gone too far.

For the record, I am not the one who wrote on this picture, I save the writing on pictures for the faggot smurfs.

If You Want the Rest of Her Boring Personal Pics
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Posted in:Black People|Miley Cyrus

2008

Jun

Cheryl Burke has an Upskirt Getting Out of the Car of the Day

6 Comments »

This is some Dancing With The Stars chick who isn’t on the show anymore, but that doesn’t stop her from showing off her dance moves. I think she calls this one the Vagina in Panties Dancing Out of Cars Shuffle or some shit. She’s not hot, she’s not relevant and all she’s doing is showing off her panties and that makes me jealous. I wish life was as easy for me, I’d have no problem flashing a little skin, or my underwear to land jobs and make money for it, instead when I flash a little skin, I make people throw-up.

Speaking of throwing up, I was walking around aimlessly last night and saw a real live pussy in the flesh that didn’t belong to my wife, and it was fucking remarkable. This drunk girl was squatting outside the club she obviously drank too much at, and was puking everywhere as her friends held her hair. I stopped to point and laugh about it and when I looked the girl over, her pussy was glaring back up at me. I am convinced the fuckin’ thing winked at me. Too bad for you, I don’t own a camera.

Posted in:Cheryl Burke|Upskirt

2008

Jun

The Co-Star of the Mini Me Sex Tape of the Day

3 Comments »

I was always about equal opportunity fucking. I figure that sex is a good thing and that everyone, despite their social inadequacies should be able to find someone to fuck. That was until I heard about the Mini Me sex tape. Truth is that I was trying to ignore this shit like it was a bad nightmare that it is and decided that somethings are better left ignored, but when I saw pictures of the slut in the video and listened to her radio show I had no choice but to post about it because this girl is an opportunist Jew trying to make it in Hollywood and this is her strategy and I feel for the poor little midget guy that got sucked into this because he just wanted to get laid and the only way he could get it was by promising her the exposure she wants.

I can assume that the first and only celebrity who spoke to her and was willing to fuck her, because lets face it, up until this point the only sex dude’s been getting is with hookers, was a midget/dwarf/monster who is hardly a celebrity and she decided that this will be her big break and by big I mean desperate attempt to have a break that will make her stick out from the other girls with the same dreams as her.

What she doesn’t realize is that this isn’t going to make her career, it is going to ruin any chance of having a career, because having a sex tape when you are a rich socialite with some other rich cokehead is one thing, while having sex with a mutant is in a whole other thing, a thing that disgust pretty much everybody in the fucking world, all while bringing hope to midgets/dwarves/mutants everywhere.

Either way, this is a sex tape that you will probably jerk off to because you always had a thing for the whole idea of having a miniature version of yourself to make your masturbating a lot more interesting and less lonely than it already is, but I am sure this is going to be a huge hit to your ego when you realize that Mini Me is more hung than you.

Her name is Ranae Something Jewish and here are her pics and radio interview, one that tells a girl’s tale of poverty, desperation and dreams of grandeur leading her into a very dark place with a very scary creature who promised to make those dreams a reality…. I was going to call this post What Won’t a Jew do for Money, but didn’t.

Listen to the Interview With this Bitch
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Posted in:Mini Me|Sex Tape|Star