I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

11

Jun

Eva Herzigova in Her Bikini of the Day

I was never a fan of Eva Herzigova when she was modeling in the 90s, but that’s just because I wasn’t into skinny chicks back then and if I was, I probably wouldn’t be married to a very large vat full off fucking rancid pudding that is my wife, but I am into skinny chicks now and rightfully so, I guess I just evolve with the times like high fashion but not as expensive.

When I look at Eva Herzigova, I think of a time when I was a little smarter and instead of spending my days writing a website badly, I had big plans for myself. I had spent time with hookers and heard about this Mail Order bride service from communist countries and was doing everything I could to get up in that because as you know, I know a lot of desperate dudes would would be more than happy to buy happiness and by happiness I mean a permanent whore that they can call their wife.

I got so far as to meeting a few guys from the local Russian mob who were down to support my venture and would provide the girls who would be willing to be smuggled into America, the promised land of opportunity, if I set up the infrastructure. Now the word infrastructure in and of itself was intimidating because I am a lazy dude, so I just flaked out and went back to drinking but I heard they did really well with it, and even with the fall of communism, which I was hoping would put a damper on the business I like to think I was a forefather of but didn’t see a dime for, shit’s still going strong.

An elderly Eva Herzigova is probably the reason why, they just don’t make girls like this overhear, but they do make great fast food, so I guess it’s a trade off.

Posted in:Bikini|Eva Herzigova

2008

11

Jun

Ashlee Simpson’s Pregancy Tits of the Day

One of life’s recent great mysteries is how Ashlee Simpson got pregnant when the person she married has a vagina. I guess another one of life’s great mysteries will be when her kid subtracts his birthday by his parent’s wedding day and realizes that there are a couple months missing leading the little unfortunate fucker to knowing that he was an accident and that his good little Christian family is just fronting for the media because everyone knows Christians don’t fuck before marriage, especially with some cocksucker who may not be the anti-christ but is such a piece of garbage as a person tha you could only assume is something Satan shat up after eating too much Mexican food.

I guess the good news is that with pregnancy comes a newfound sluttiness because girls know it’s the end of them as they were and from now on are either pregnant or chicks with baggage when they are back on the market because their little girl husbands decide to fuck off with the pool boy after spending 6 months showing him his asymetric hair down there, and by down their I mean on his asshole.

Either way, she’s got solid cleavage and that’s good enough for me and probably good enough for you.

Posted in:Ashlee Simpson|Pregnancy|Tits

2008

11

Jun

Throwback Carmen Elecrta Nude in Some Photoshoot of the Day

I am tired of posting recent shit becaue the world has gone to shit and I am more interested in a simplier time, so this is Carmen Electra in some unknown photoshoot from a long time ago, spreading her legs and showing us her tits, both things that we’ve seen before and are happy to see again.

I guess you could say that she is nothing but a one-trick pony, except she will never turn tricks for you or ride you like a pony, you sick beastiality fuck, despite what your imagination that you believe is reality because you are insane and don’t get away from the computer might tell you.

On a happier note, the sheet she has between her legs gets a lot more pussy than you, but not a lot more pussy than the soiled piece of fabric I use as a sheet, but that’s got nothing to do with my skills in seducing ladies and more to do with my wife’s skill of having the biggest, stickiest vagina out of any girl I’ve met and manages to get that sheet up between the crevaces of her lips on the daily.

Eithery way, I heard this sheet for is available on e-bay and that may be the closest you ever get to her vagina, or any vagina at all so you should considering busting open that piggy bank and spending your vacation fund on it, but it may not be worth it considering how Comicon has always been a dream of yours.

Speaking of vaginas, i have a box of rubber ones sitting in my fridge that i found in some alley behind a sex shop that went bankrupt. I don’t really know what I was doing there or if the whole thing was a mirage (because the only water i drink is out of puddles) and but there is a box rubber vaginas sitting in my fridge because I like to keep the fresh and since i already adopted one because my wife’s is dead and I like to practice eating out pussy, the others are looking for love and homes too, so I am planning on giving them away with no guarantee that they have never been used and that they won’t give you aids, a guarantee that also comes with Carmen Electra’s pussy.

Posted in:Carmen Electra|Nude|Photoshoot

2008

11

Jun

Brittany Snow is Beating Up Cock of the Day


Brittany Snow is in some movie playing some kind of man hating prostitute and this is a scene showing off how badly she wants to destroy all penis one penis at a time. I think it’s a pretty common situation where a girl gets raped as a kid and finds herself living the life as a whore to support her addiction caused by trying to forget being raped as a kid. The problem with that strategy is that she ends up absorbing herself in the seedier part of men as they mistreat her whore body and use her as some kind of live action sex doll because she is a whore and since they are paying her to be a live action sex doll it’s kind of acceptable behavior. But that makes her hate them more and the only way to live with herself is to do drugs harder and that gives her the idea to destroy all cock that comes her way as some kind of superhero that isn’t anything super except maybe a super wreck that thinks she is doing her part in saving the world like how I feel every time I recycle because I know putting that one can in the recycle bin won’t save the planet, but it feels like I just helped.

Either way, it’s just a scene from a movie and I have known dudes who loved getting their balls abused by chicks but there’s nothing funny about that, it’s just weird. But I did know a guy who always asked girls to play with his balls. I am talkin’ no matter where we were, he’d ask any girl around to play with his balls, whether she was a waitress, a clerk in a store, a group of teenage girls eating ice cream or even elderly women in the park. The dude just loved testicle play so much that it’s all he ever thought about despite how awkward it made everyone else feel. It always made me laugh so, this one’s for him.

Posted in:Brittany Snow|Movie|Prostitute|Uncategorized

2008

10

Jun

stepLINKS of the Day

I didn’t have any internet all day because I didn’t have any power, which meant I sat in the dark until running to Starbucks to post my shit. The problem is that Starbucks is evil and always kicks me out- so I convinced some people to compile the links for me – so there’s a lot of them but we all know you have nothing better to do with your time – so click them

Now, Here’s a WHOLE lot of fucking links. Tomorrow – I will only have 10, I decided to scale back.


Body Paint, Tits and Other General Half Nakedness for You to Enjoy
GO

Halle Berry Used to Fuck a New Kid on the Block
GO

A Real Fake Skateboard Video
GO

Kate Hudson Has Some Big Tits, and By Big Tits I Mean She is Flat As a Fucking Board and I don’t Care….
GO

Gina Gershon Still Denies Fucking President Clinton
GO

Roisin Murphey Had Teeny Tiny Nipples
GO

Some Brazilian Kids That Are Far More Athletic Than You or I Will Ever Be
GO

The 10 Funniest Moments in Phone Sex History
GO

Lohan and Ronson Hang With Lily Allen Because I Am Guessing Someone Who Hasn’t Had a Miscarriage Wasn’t Available.
GO

How To : Audition for Playboy
GO

Decide if this Sean Young Chick is Hot or Not
GO

Some Petra Nemcova Goodness
GO

Peta is Most Probably Going to Kil THe Olsen Twins
GO

Segway Face Plant is Amazing
GO

Panty Pulling is the Latest Craze to Hit Japan
GO

More Passed Out Party Girls
GO

Karolina Kurkova Gallery
GO

Slut Fight
GO

Asian Hottie Looks Like a Doll
GO

Some Entertainment for you Long Ride Home
GO

If Tennis is Anything Like This, I may Actually Be Pretty Good At It
GO

More Lezzie Get Downs
GO

Now THAT’S What I Call Bird Watching
GO

Quick!! Get Her ATM Code!!
GO

Brodie Jenner’s NEw Reality Show is Called Bromance
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Some Baby in Japan Was Born With a Peen on His Back!!
GO

Blonde Gets Naked At the Cabin
GO

Guy Busts 40 Water Melons With His Head
GO

Work Out Slut
GO

Use This to Get Laid and Thank Me Later
GO

Spank that Pussy!
GO

And That’s How You Ruin a Shot
GO

Bar Raefeli in Some Foreign Magazine
GO

Peter Andre’s Daddy Sauce
GO

Bums and Their Creative Signs
GO

Theodorva is Pretty in Pink
GO

Busted in the Vegetable Garden
GO

Newspaper Owns the People the Philadelphia
GO

Living Lohan Episode 3
GO

Some Amateur Whore Shows Off Her Hot Ass in Panties
GO

Woman Faceplants on a Segway
GO

6 Golf Stretches From Natalie Gulbis
GO

UK Exclusive – Madonna Hires Divorce Lawyer Because Her Husband Doesn’t Support Her Decision to Get a Sex Change
GO

Some Crazy Boyfriend Chokes and Beat His Friends
GO

Some Chick Crushes A Watermelon With Her Thighs
GO

Some Jailbait Moment
GO

Get Smart Get’s Hijacked – Hilarious
GO

Keeley Haell Wasted
GO

SCHOOL TEACHER WHO HAD SEX WITH UNDERAGE STUDENTS WRITES TO NICK HOGAN
GO

Some New Star Wars Shit – I Don’t Understand
GO

Mexican Girl in a Bikini Beatdown
GO

Some Hot Young Lesbians Pissing On Each Other VIdeo
GO

A Whole Bunch of Bikini Car Wash Videos
GO

Some Girl Punching Her Tits
GO

Some Girls Having Fun Topless on the Beach
GO

Drink 2 Beers in 2 Seconds
GO

Some Chick in her Bikini on a Yacht…
GO

Some Pictures of a New York Swingers Club
GO

Wonderbra’s Greatest Hits
GO

Some Chick Named Jenna Fischer – Thought She Was Joining a Spice Girls Type Band But Really Joined a Call Girl Ring….Before she was Famous….
GO

Halle Berry’s Mom Tits
GO

Some Beach Volleyball Tits
GO

American Apparel Does Kiddie Porn
GO

Some Mystery Teen and Her Weird Homemade Doggy Style Sex Bench
GO

Some Fat Cuba Ass Shakes In Her Kitchen…A Place That Helped Make This Fat Cuba Ass
GO

Some Pierced Clit Stupidity
GO

Some Pierced Clit Reaction Video
GO

Louise Glover in a String Thing
GO

Anna Tatangelo Max Magazine Pics
GO

Babes Who Wont Talk Back
GO

Hard Day at the Office
GO

Storm Squirters Give You What You Need
GO

BONUS – Sluts You KNOW You Can Count On
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

10

Jun

Mariah Carey is in a Bikini for Her New Video of the Day

Mariah Carey is in a Bikini in her new video. These are the pictures. I would write more, but what’s the fuckin’ point. Sometimes things just are what they are and the only thing we can laugh about is how much she looks like a character from Planet of the Apes or some shit.

Posted in:Bikini|Mariah Carey|Video

2008

10

Jun

Heather Locklear is a Drunken Slut of the Day

I love that people are even talking about Heather Locklear’s drunken antics when all bitch is doing is throwing the shocker and showing us various ways she rock’s the clit, because she is substantially less messy than me or anyone I know who gets drunk, like when I get a little carried away, I don’t just throw out the shocker for laughs, I enforce the shocker and the unsuspecting victim would totally be against it if she wasn’t passed out on the club bathroom floor after puking herself to borderline death. If I had my way, I wished being over-served led to silliness and not illegal shit, because I’d have a much less guilty conscience and probably a few more friends than just my wife, and she’s only my friend because she’s got absolutely no choice.

Posted in:Drunk|Heather Locklear

2008

10

Jun

Alicia Douvall is Topless in a Bikini of the Day

All I know about this chick is that she’s from the UK and has a face like a plate of Bangers and Mash that can only be justified as the product of some Dairy Farm incest, but she’s topless and showing off her shitty sun burned fake tits that make these pictures about as sexually arousing as the pair of underwear I’ve been wearing all week because I have few options, kinda like any guy that happens to have sex with this slag. It’s one of those take what you can get when in a time of desperation, because it’s really the only way I can understand the fact that she’s got a kid.

During the Black Out 2008 that I experienced today, I ran into a couple HUGE girls on the street, I am talking substantially fatter than me and for some reason they were kickin’ it with some skinny blonde girl who looked just as sloppy as they did but wasn’t fat and took up less airplane seats when her deadbeat boyfriend saved enough money from selling dime bags of weed to take her somewhere special.

Either way, the busted up skinny chick was wearing this tight shirt and her tits were busting out because they were her only asset, or the only think she thought were her asset, because they really weren’t all that nice to look at and dudes were staring at her in amazement, that she thought was a positive thing and that’s why I feel like she’d really get along with this Alicia Douvall girl, together they could tell each other that they are the prettiest girls in the world, while everyone else kinda looks at them in disgusted amazement.

Posted in:Alicia Douvall|Bikini|Topless

2008

10

Jun

Paris Hilton’s Not Pregnant of the Day

I heard on the news that there was a tornado warning and I got excited because I have never been in a tornado and assumed it was a sign of the apocalypse. When the power went out and the overcast and wind rolled in, I was excited to see the world come to an end. Unfortunately, I was wrong, and people like Paris Hilton as still gracing the planet, but the good news is that she’s gracing the planet alone and she doesn’t have a little spawn growing up inside her tattered womb like everyone reported last week.

She is however, still a trashy attention whore who despite having no talent or skills gets away with being a bisexual cokeslut drunk, and instead of being sent to rehab to save her career, is paid lots of money to show girls how to dance to the wrong song that the DJ is playing because the beat doesn’t go with her pre-planned moves.

The worst thing is that little girls are just copying her bullshit, wearing the party dresses, dancing on the bars and talking like a semi-retarded valley girl who got in an a drunk driving car accident on prom night and things just haven’t been the same since.

It’s got so bad that even today, I saw a little asian girl rockin’ animal print boots, she was about 3 and I already knew what fate had lined up for her and I blame Paris.

Either way, Paris was at a club, drinking and dancing and I assume that if that doesn’t confirm she’s not pregnant, and the fact that she’s got more pussy diseases than the SPCA and can’t get pregnant is just speculation, pictures of her miscarriage dripping down her thigh, is in the only thing that will let me sleep easy and can only hope it’s in the near future.

Posted in:Paris Hilton|Pregnant

2008

10

Jun

Aisleyne Horgan Wallace in Some Topless Bikini Pictures of the Day

This Aisleyne Horgan Wallace chick is pretty much good for one thing and that’s taking off her shirt every chance she gets to show off her fake tits that she bought herself with her trust fund money because it makes for a better investment for a slut than something useless like college. She’s from the UK and envious of all those glamour models out there and is doing all she can to get coverage and you know, I got little else to do with my time than to post this shit for you since I’ve been following her amazingly life changing career of taking off her shirt and flashing her pussy and panties for a pretty long time and I guess this is just another one of her accomplishments, like the time I won employee of the year for this site, it’s something I will definitely put on my resume, even though I have to admit the judges were a little bias since they were me.

Either way, I don’t know who is who in these pics, I just see a couple sluts, and sometimes that’s good enough and names just become irrelevant.

Posted in:Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace|Topless