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Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day
Sara Sampaio Shows Off her Pussy in Tight Pants Under the Guise that it is a Fitness Video of the Day
Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day
Industry Flesh Puppet Jessica Alba Propagandizes for the Machine of the Day
Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day
Sydney Sweeney is Glamour’s Woman of the Year of the Day
Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day
Paige Spiranac Feeling Herself Up of the Day
Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day
Margaret Qualley is Hot for an Ugly Chick of the Day

2008

07

Jul

Caroline D’Amore’s Beach Cameltoe of the Day

6 Comments »

I have met Pizza Restaurant owner Caroline D’Amore, because that’s just the quality of “celebrity” this site puts me in contact with and in reality shit had absolutely nothing to do with this site, and more to do with my alcoholism. This is the story.

It was a Wednesday and I was looking for something to do and this guy I knew invited me to some celebrity DJ event at a chachi bar, where there was no cover charge and where he would be buying bottles of vodka because there was some kind of deal at the bar because it was mid-week.

The DJ was Caroline D’Amore and I thought I had never heard of her, so I went because I was in the mood to get drunk and have a good laugh. After a bunch of drinks, this skinny, Celine Dion lookin’ girl gets up behind the turntables, which happened to be right next to my friends table and I start listening to her set.

I don’t DJ and don’t know much about DJing, but knew that this bitch was killing every single mix, making each song sound like it was violently raping the next song while she did that Paris Hilton dance behind the turntables. I started laughing and made faces at her and she was starting to notice and obsess over me and my mocking. Within 10 minutes of my pointing and ridiculing her, she turns to the club promoter and calls him over, tells him that she’s quitting her set about 20 minutes into it and when he asked why, she points at me and says I am being an asshole and lauging at her.

I find the whole thing amazing, until the promoter and his pussy security make a circle around me and threaten to beat me up and kick me out for fuckin’ with Caroline and Caroline decides to get involved and tell me how much of an asshole I am. I deny because I don’t need to really drive the point home, bitch already quit her set and I take her aside, tell her about my site and that I was just teasing to get her attention because I have a crush on her and tease girls I crush on because I have the same level of game as a ten year old.

It turns out she knew about the site and said that I had written about her cameltoe in the past , I told her that I didn’t remember but that I fucking love cameltoe and that she should keep bringing the goods, she gave me a hug, forgave me for mocking her and left me. Since then, she has continued her DJ career, while I continue my cameltoe blogging, never to cross paths again, but the fact that she knew the site made me forget that she sucked as a DJ and made me a fan, even if only for 5 minutes and mainly because I wanted to get invited back to her hotel to watch her shower, but that didn’t happen. What has happened is that everytime she’s been back to Montreal, she’s made a point of not emailing me or inviting me out to her event or to grab some pizza and I feel pretty rejected about the whole thing because I thought we were friends, but at least I can still post about her vagina tightly wrapped in a bathing suit. No one can take that away from me.

Posted in:Bathing Suit|Cameltoe|Caroline D'Amore

2008

07

Jul

Some Cheryl Burke Bikini Pictures of the Day

2 Comments »

I always had this idea that dancers were these lean, borderline anorexic lookin’ chicks in tights, before actually going to a local dance school’s dance performance because my stepdaughter gave me a free ticket. I figured getting down to watching teenage girls dancing and not getting naked in the process would be a nice change of pace from what I was used to. I was wrong. Every single girl who came out with her hip hop choreographed Britney Spears backup dancer shit was built like a fucking tank and seeing hot chicks in booty shorts shaking their asses wasn’t really an option, because there were no hot chicks, just these thick, strong Hayden Panettiere chicks squating, popping and locking in some kind of seizure inducing dance battle.

The point is that Cheryl Burke is also a dancer, but not the good kind you want to give 10 dollars a song to, and a thick kind you want to hire to help you move because she’s more fit than any of your deadbeat friends, and here she is in a bikini, showing off her thick dance muscles.

Posted in:Bikini|Cheryl Burke|Dancing With the Stars

2008

07

Jul

Jennifer Lopez in Her July 4th Bikini of the Day

3 Comments »

I never understood the hype about J.Lo’s ass, it always confused me that the world would be drawn to some bottom heavy slut, and make her insanely rich in the process.

Here she is fatter than she used to be and rockin’ a bikini. She was hoping no one would notice so she tried to throw in the mirrored bikini to blind the paparazzi cameras and figured if that didnt work, the reflection of her husbands scary white legs would do the trick, what she didn’t realize is that he’s too sickly thin to really do much distracting and actually turns invisible when the flash is on. I guess none of that matters, because you still have a thing for this whore who has openly had many dicks and no one’s ever called her out on it. I guess it’s just a middle class Peurto Rican from the bronx, going through an identity crisis all in hopes that the real hispanic population don’t catch on to the fact that she’s full of shit and is whiter than McCain.

Posted in:Bikini|Jennifer Lopez

2008

07

Jul

Jim Carey Makes a Joke With Jenny McCarthy’s Bathing Suit of the Day

1 Comment »

Jenny McCarthy and her long lost Canadian relative, who I assume she doesn’t know is her relative and decided that the connection she felt the first time she met him was love at first sight, when in reality it was just on some genetic level. It’s like when you met a cousin from another country for the first time and you just hit it off immediately because you have the same grandparents, only in this case you give them your genitals, instead of a gift certificate to Starbucks for Christmas. Leaving the rest of the world looking in amazement and wondering if you’re related or if it is just a coincidence that you look like you’re twins while making out with each other in public. I guess we’ll all just have to wait for the flipper baby to know the truth and I am not talking about that Autistic shit McCarthy is up on already, that baby’s from a previous marriage.

I never found Jim Carey funny, I actually kinda hated him up until recently. He’s just this clown of a person who tries too hard to get a laugh and looks like an asshole while doing it. He reminds me of some cocksucker in my class who would never shut the fuck up in his antics and annoyed everyone until he got beat up enough that his spirits and jokes just stopped, leaving him down and out and reclusive in a dark corner, going from the annoying life of the classroom to the weird kid in the corner no one notcies, that is until one day he decides to take out his rage on the world and stages a school shooting.

But I have to admit, this stunt where he decided to put on Jenny McCarthy’s bathing suit to fuck with the paparazzi/public and get a laugh was pretty clever and reminds me a lot of this closet case who would always suggest we do the gayest things because it would be funny and for the sake of comedy. When he’d run around in ladies clothing, make-up and show a serious interest in Brad Pitt, we could pass shit off as a joke, but it got out of hand when he told me that we would really mess with our girlfriends at the time if they walked in on us sucking each other off. I didn’t really get the joke but he came back at me aggressively, because he thought I was ruining his joke and said that it would only really be funny if we timed it perfectly and the second they walked into the room expecting us to be playing videogames, I’d be cumming all over his face instead. It’d be a real fuckin’ knee slapper.

Sure, I was complimented that he thought I was worthy to take part in his joke, but I didn’t see much funny about letting him suck me off, it was just a little gay….

Either way, Jenny McCarthy’s body looks tight.

Posted in:Bikini|funny|Jenny McCarthy|Jim Carey

2008

04

Jul

stepLINKS of the Day

8 Comments »

So I got this email:

“Judaism isn’t a race it’s a religion”

I always thought that you were an asshole, but kind of one of those quite intelligent assholes whose spelling, punctuation and grammar are still pretty good, you know? But this quote shows that you’re actually a dumb asshole. Judaism is a race. It’s what the people of Judah were called. Judah being an Israelite tribe. Some Jews (most? I don’t know) follow the national Jewish religion of the same name.

So calling Jewish girls ugly isn’t just anti-religious, its also racist.

Also, good joke about sending nudes. Haven’t heard that one before. Throw in a few about how mothers have busted vaginas or virgins getting laid, and you’ve got the full, tediously predictable Drunken Stepfather package.

My response:

Thanks for the email! It’s a real gas. Kinda like the Holocaust.

I am a firm believer when you dig your own grave, there’s no harm in diggin’ it deeper and deepr and deeper and deeper….. truth is some of my people are Jews.

Sluts to Help You Start Your Weekend The Best Way You Can
GO

The Classiest Piece of Pussy at the Party
GO

Half Pipe Face Plant
GO

Some Eastern European Named Susana Wants You to Get Off Your Fat Ass
GO

Lohan is 22 and Really, Really Gay
GO

Oksana Andersson Topless
GO

Crappy 4th of July
GO

Hayden Panettiere Close Up Pussy Shot
GO

Mandy Moore’s TIts FIght The Wind
GO

The 10 Hottest Topless Sunbathing Movie Scenes
GO

Who Would You Rather Do Because America is Awesome Edition…
GO

Hulk Hogan is Stalking Linda Logan
GO

Faceplant Off Swing
GO

Sam’s Butt Rocket
GO

How an M1 Tank Gets Past an Iraqi Taxi Cab
GO

Thongs and Wet T-Shirts
GO

Tiffani Amber Fresh Face of Playboy
GO

Nice Amateur Gallery
GO

Find Girls to Fuck and Don’t Die a Virgin
GO

Cindy Brady is Wasted
GO

Fun With Triplets
GO

Celebratory Hand Job
GO

Herika Noronha Gallery
GO

The Top Ten Best Boobs in Hollywood
GO

Miley Cyrus Wants to Be Like Madonna
GO

Mandy Moore Post-Breakup Shopping
GO

Madonna Hates Guy Ritchie
GO

Christina Applegate’s Boyfriend Found Dead
GO

Fireworks Versus Man
GO

Some Wrestling Dude Named Tommy Dreamer’s Wife Showing Her Pussy
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

Hot Spanish Babe Barbie Griffin
GO

Use This and Get Laid
GO

Some Selena Spice For You Virgin Ass
GO

Party Chick Gets Groped
GO

HD Glasses
GO

Solange Knowles Has Some Major Man-Face Issues
GO

Lee Celebrates the 4th of July By Getting Naked
GO

Live Vicariously Through These Club Sluts
GO

Krystal Forscutt in Zoo
GO

Crackheads Need Food Too
GO

Adriana Lima is Amused
GO

Got Ass?
GO

The World’s Wheeliest Wheelie
GO

McDonald’s in Japan
GO

Playboy Babe – Stephanie Martin
GO

Sluts That Make Staying At Home Alone Not So Bad
GO

Spy Cam in the Lounge
GO

Make a Bomb With Toilet Cleaner
GO

Fuck Team Five Brings Out the Fun in Team Work
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

04

Jul

Tara Reid in Some Drunk Pictures of the Day

5 Comments »

It’s the 4th of July and you’re probably sitting somewhere getting drunk in a backyard or on a boat or in a park like it’s a fuckin’ celebration that you can use to reconnect with family and friends all while convincing celebrating your dying economy, recession, unnecessary war that make gas pricesinsane, obesity pandemic and poverty, crime rate and shitty medical system and all the other great things about your beautiful country like your freedom that you are told that you have but probably don’t actually have considering nothing in the USA is free, but what do I know, I’m just a Mexican.

The good news is that everyday is the 4th of July for Tara Reid, she’s just always fucking celebrating, and her haggard face may be getting the best of her, but it’s a small price to pay to always have a good fuckin’ time. She’s moved on to hanging out with hotter girls than her, who don’t wear bras, but when you’ve got fake tits you don’t have to wear a bra, it’s like all part of the incentive of investing in fake tits, you never have to waste money on bras again at least that what they say on the fake titty infomercial in my head.

Posted in:Drunk|Tara Reid|Tits

2008

04

Jul

Former Nascar Employee and Her Weak Racial and Sexual Harassment Claims of the Day

19 Comments »

I love this video of some fat black chick who worked for NASCAR and who is coming out with her racial and sexual harassment claims because I guess she got fired and either wants money or fame or maybe she’s just a good person and wants justice served for the next women planning on working at NASCAR.

When lookin’ at her I hardly believe anyone would fucking sexually harass her and may have accidentally confused her for a dude and just so happened to pull his dick out in some kind of drunken prank, but I doubt he wanted to give it to her.

The reality is that NASCAR is pretty fucking trashy and you’re not safe from a good dickin’ even if you’re related to the motherfucker, it’s one of those every vagina is there for the taking, so when you work for trash, no matter how much money trash makes, you gotta expect to deal with some redneck trash shit. If this shit went down at some kind of upscale company, and some high level executive pulled his dick out and started stroking the shit in a business meeting, I’d be like dude’s fucked, but she’s a black woman basically walking into a KKK meet in a trailer park filled with uneducated dudes with a lot of money who race cars real good and wrestle picnic tables in backyard brawls on their spare time, she should just be happy she didn’t get chained up to a pick-up truck and dragged around the block because they had a bet on how many turns it’d take to kill the spook….or some shi

Posted in:Nascar Employee

2008

04

Jul

Amanda Bynes and Her Shitty See Through Shirt of the Day

Comments Off on Amanda Bynes and Her Shitty See Through Shirt of the Day

Remember Amanda Bynes, well here she is in a shitty see through shirt showing all you perverts that she’s not 12 anymore and actually has a little tit. I got nothing much to say because I am hung the fuck over but I just had a funny experience at the pharmacy with my friend. He needed to get some Vaseline for his dicksores and I went with him, not because he needed emotional support, but because I had nothing better to do and didn’t realize how gay we would look. So we get up to the cash to pay and dude puts down a tub of vaseline, a pack of baby wipes, duct tape and some lady speed stick and I run in throwing some candy, tweezers and chocolate syrup for my wife onto his bill, and the cashier just gave us a smirk like she knew what we were up to. Part of me wanted to be all “it’s not like that, we’re not up to no faggot shit” but realized why bother and that it was funnier to let her think she just was involved in facilitating some weird fat, hungover Mexican fetish anal sex party. I guess kinda like I feel involved in faciliating your weird Amanda Bynes dressed like a boy in her soccer movie masturbation by posting these pictures. Enjoy.

Posted in:Amanda Bynes|See Through|Shitty

2008

04

Jul

Sheree Murphey is a Sloppy Chick in a Bikini Getting Frisky of the Day

3 Comments »

Here is Sheree Murphy, some sloppy british bitch who’s worked her way out of the working class factory life and onto TV and in the process managed to land herself a soccer player to marry and have a bunch of kids with and it’s nice to see that despite the fact that she’s destroyed physically by the pregnancy, her husband is still horny enough to get busy with her in the pool for all of us to see. You know that stems from not trying to show off his trophy wife, because she’s more of a participation ribbon they give the retard kids so they don’t feel discouraged for losing, and it is sheer horniness and something you can relate to. I just hope he’s drunk because that’s really the only way I can accept this kind of behavior, like last night when we saw some fat horny Italian chick who was built for making babies, get with some random dude in a really large shirt and pretty much stood in the corner sticking her tongue down his throat and taking breaks to whisper the names of all the babies she has planned for him. The fertility almost turned me on, but the estrogen charged thighs definitely didn’t.

Posted in:Bikini|Sex|Sheree Murphey|Sloppy

2008

04

Jul

Elisabetta Canalis is an Immigrant in a Pink Bikini of the Day

4 Comments »

Here’s some skinny model named Elisabetta Canalis in a bikini and she reminds me of this time I worked at a stable shoveling shit out of the horses stalls, not because she looks like shit, but because she looks like a horse, sure she’s got a skinny body and you’d probably fuck her, but that face is a little too reminiscent of the night all the stable boys got drunk and decided to take turns fuckin’ it. It wasn’t a proud moment, but either is this for Elisabetta Canalis or her husband.

Posted in:Bikini|Elisabetta Canalis|Immigrant