I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

24

May

stepLINKS of the Day

I was planning on doing more posts today, but I got distracted and thought it’d be funnier to leave you with my drunken Christian charity response making you wonder if I got killed by some fundamentalists, I didn’t despite knowing the dude who send me this email today probably hoped I did….

your life is crap

My response:

Thanks for the tip, I had no idea…it’s all I’ve ever known so I just thought everyone’s life was this bad, you’ve shown me the light and now I know that I should have jumped in front of traffic that time I contemplated doing it. Lucky for you, I enjoy this crap life because I always have something to laugh at. Today, that thing is you. Send Nudes.

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com

Here are some links to all things good on the internet today:

Watch Ninja Babe in Space Episode 3
GO

Terrance Howard Threatened to Kill His Daughter’s Boyfriend
GO

Teach A Slut a Lesson For Trying to Seduce You With a Lollipop to Get Her Way…
GO

Kim Kardashian Ralph Magazine Outtakes in Her Fat Chick Underwear
GO

Being in a Bikini is the Only Way Jennifer Aniston Can Keep a Boyfriend
GO

Krisztina Lajtai is Foreign and Fucking Hot
GO

Prank a Computer and Disable It Desktop Icons
GO

Nick Hogan’s Faggot Ass Prison Phone Call to His Mom – Cuz He’s a Bitch in More Ways than One
GO

The 10 Hottest Redhead Slut Topless Scenes
GO

Ana Nikolic Panty Upskirt On Stage
GO

Friday is as Good a Day For Live Sex on Webcam
GO

Kobe Bryant Dunks Over a Poll Full of Snakes
GO

Well, I Can Officially Say I Love Morgan Freemon
GO

Joanna Krupa Swimwear Gallery
GO

Charlotte Mears and Bianca Gascoigne are Sluts in their Bikinis
GO

Derek Jeter’s Long List of Sluts Who are Now His Sloppy Seconds…
GO

Here’s a Wet T-Shirt Special
GO

Photos of the captain of the Detroit Pistons Dance Team in College Smashing Tits and Kissing with her Slut Friends.
GO

Madonna Thinks of Herself as Handsome and Useful and by That She Meant Old and Ugly
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Naomi Campbell is Crying on her Birthday and It’s All Diddy’s Fault
GO

Ashley Tisdale Hits the Bottle
GO

Paula Abdul’s Jiggle Wiggle
GO

Your Friday Striptease
GO

Star Jones Suckin’ the One Thing She Likes Better than Gay Dick
GO

Ira Is From Russia and Shes 21 Years Old
GO

Brazillian Hottie with a Bangin Ass Body
GO

Vite Christopher Knight!
GO

Aishwarya Rai is Hotness
GO

Let’s Laugh at Japanese People Because They are Different and That is Funny
GO

Shay Laren Hangs OUt by the Stairs
GO

Tara Reid Dirty Bikini Throwback
GO

Shauna Sand TAkes her Ugly ASs for A Walk. Nice Legs Tho
GO

Cell Phone in a Microwave
GO

Pussycat Dolls on Jimmy Kimmel
GO

So Long As She’s Still Hot, Vida Guerra is Completely Relevant to ME
GO

Bandwagon Blues?
GO

Creepiest PSA Ever
GO

Naked Naked Girls Gallery
GO

Fox News Reporter : Courtney Frielís Sexy Bikini Photos
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Some Dude Talking about Anal Sex With Cars
GO

Water Bottle Woman Gets Water Bottled
GO

Find the Best Ass Sites on the Internet
GO

Cow Woman Gets Milked
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Hot Cleavage and Sheer Panties in Hot Suggestive Pics…
GO

Some Staged Tits
GO

Some Chick and Her Silk Nighty….
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

23

May

Juliette Lewis is in Her Bikini of the Day

I was talking to some dude about Juliette Lewis last night because she is his favorite celebrity. He finds her the most interesting, crazy and hottest chick out there. I argued that she’s just some art fag hipster but at least she’s not fat, then I realized that I was talking about celebrities in my spare time and realized that this shitty website has followed me into my everyday life and that annoys me.

I ended up at some club filled with 18 year old girls and found myself waiting in line, where some dude grabbed me and said “hey, it’s Jesus from the internet”, I instinctively punched him in the stomach because I didn’t know what his intentions were, but I do know that getting recognized by 19 year old dudes in clubs was not the purpose of starting this shit up, the purpose was to get hot chicks to email me compromising positions and I guess that makes me a failure.

Speaking of failure, here’s Juliette Lewis in a bikini for the dude I met who thinks she looks a lot to hang out with because she’s totally insane.

Posted in:Bikini|Juliette Lewis

2008

23

May

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are Friends of the Day

I don’t understand why people give a fuck whether these two are lovers or not, if anything it’s hot as fuck and not something to get all pissed off and punch the wall over, it’s not like you ever had the opportunity to get with Lohan in the first place and the truth is if you really believe, as you print off ever picture you’ve ever seen of her to staple on your wall, and watch every DVD she’s ever been in every night before bed, you can still live out the fantasy of that when she goes back to men, you’ll be the one she chooses.

The point is that seeing a girl with another dude leads to a girl getting married and pregnant and leaving no chance for you to move in, but a girl with another girl always leaves the dream of an open door for another dude to come in and sweep her off her feet. Unfortunately, for me, that guy won’t be me, but I am fully supportive of this union but that’s just because I love watching girls go down on each other. I’m a guy like that.

I feel like I should be the dude getting off (the plane) with them, but that’s not going to happen because apparently the guy I met last night who looks like Sam Ronson thinks I have no chance and I believe him because he seems like an authority on tight jeans, sneakers and funny hats and knows what his people like.

Posted in:Friends|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson

2008

23

May

Petra Nemcova’s Got Some Big Aids Tits of the Day

Petra Nemcova brought her tits out to an Aids charity because she knows the one thing people with Aids want to see is a hot set of tits they can’t fuck because girls like Petra don’t like having sex with dude’s who have Aids. Not to mention most dudes with Aids are gay and those who aren’t are for the most part stuck banging the ex-heroin addict crackwhores no one wants because hot put together chicks Aids are hard to find.

Not that Petra really needs to worry because no one with Aids will actually be at the event. Their disease just funded it for celebrities to show off how much they care and probably cost millions of dollars to produce all paid for with money donated to the chairty that would probably be better suited going to the cause than throwing parties for people who don’t eve have Aids, but do have a lot of unprotected sex. I guess it’s because celebrities don’t want to go to Aids parties with Aids patients because it’s a bad look for them, even though someone like Petra is from the Czech, which probably has the highest Aids rate in Europe since it’s got a pretty heavy sex and porn trade goin’ down there.

Either way, here are her tits.

Posted in:cleavage|Petra Nemcova|Tits

2008

23

May

Miley Cyrus’ Slutty Personal Pics of the Day

I still get hate mail every couple of days for calling this product of Disney a little slut who is lying to us because she doesn’t want it to ruin her career. So while she’s tingling in the pants to show all the cute boys in her class or neighborhood all the really exciting things the produces of Disney taught her how to do with her mouth every time she went to their office after hours to collect her paycheck and talk about future mutually beneficial endeavors, she has to pretend that she’s a church goer and when she’s retaining her virginity because it’s in her contract with Disney, she’s letting homies do her up the ass because it’s the grey area that won’t get her fired and taking slutty pics of herself for her internet boyfriends.

These are the pics and I am posting them because they aren’t naked and won’t get me arrested. It’s news motherfuckers, just call me Annie Lebovitz…because it’s safe to say that those half naked pics she took of Miley were Miley’s idea.

Posted in:Miley Cyrus|Personal Pics|Slut

2008

23

May

Sharon Stone’s In a Bikini of the Day

I was at a bar the other night and I suggested to the bar owner that we throw a weekly stepPARTY where we rip off the girls gone wild concept and market it as Spring Break beach party where girls show up in bikinis, have wet t-shirt contests and get it on with each other all while I drunkenly watch as the leader of the night because it’s my fuckin’ party.

The owner was interested but told me that it probably won’t be a hit because the only girl who goes in her bar is this one chick named Alice and she’s about 65, 300 pounds and is missing teeth, but bitch has no problem having drinking contests and showing her tits with the promise of a free shot and I told him that that sounds like a hit to me.

Here are some pictures of a thinner lookin’ 65 year old who still gets naked for money, but I doubt she’ll be coming to my party.

Posted in:Bikini|Sharon Stone

2008

23

May

Lindsay Lohan on Ugly Betty of the Day

You know what it comes down to is that I fucking love Lindsay Lohan and feel bad she had to embarrass herself by taking a job on Ugly Betty to satisfy her cocksuckin’ management and publicity people. The whole concept of Ugly Betty is completely against everything I stand for and I am not even that superficial of a person, proven in the fact that I have fucked really ugly girls, but seeing really ugly ethnically confused woman with big teeth on my TV just really fucks up my shit. I can’t really explain it, but I think the uglies should be saved for the bar when I am drunk and lonely and willing to take on any pussy and not or network television. The worst thing about this is that there are a ton of ugly girls in the world and they are supporting this show hard, because they can related leading to this bitch winning awards when she should just be winning herpes from the horny men who fuck them with a condom because they know they can’t get shit from their untouched pussies.

Either way, I support all of Lohan’s decisions, and despite this clip sucking, at least she got the ugly chick beat up from some balls, because let’s face it, these are probably the only balls smacking her in the face for a long time and Lohan is doing her a favor because she is a modern day saint in my books….

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Ugly Bety

2008

22

May

stepLINKS of the Day

I was thinking of doing some Patch Adams shit and go to the local funeral home tonight to help mourners deal with their loss by reminding them that it may suck to lose a loved one but at least they aren’t me, but decided that’s a little too morbid and will go drink instead, but before I do here are my links….

Ninja Babes in Space Episode 2
GO

Denise Richards is a Money Grubbing Whore
GO

Bikini Contest Winner
GO

I Wish Marisa Miller’s Legs Were Wrapped Around my Fat Body
GO

Kristin Davis is Not Only An Amateur Porn Star But She’s Also a Boozer
GO

Kim Kardashian Kind of Moons the Cameraa
GO

Cheat on Your Exams and Get a Passing Grade
GO

Web Cam Sluts Are Better than the No Sluts You Currently Have
GO

Shania Twain’s Husband Dumper Her For a Chick Uglier than Your Mom
GO

Remote Control Babe
GO

Victoria Silvstedt – Incite PC Magazine – Slut
GO

Maxim had a Party and You Weren’t Invited
GO

Make Mom Proud, Find a Girl to Fuck
GO

Tara Reid’s Agent Probably Can’t Find Her Work
GO

Sylverstor Stallone’s Mom is a Hot Piece
GO

A Pretty Good Bathroom Prank
GO

Bar Rafaeli Look Hot at Some Fashion Show
GO

Jesus Christ, Paris Hilton Wants to Procreate
GO

Some Drunk Guy Getting Messed With While Passed Out Outside the Bar
GO

A Couple Galleries of Real Girls Half Naked…
GO

Some Ecuador Plastic Surgeon Uses Scary Angelina Jolie and Paris Hilton Pics to Sell His Service – Funny.
GO

Amateur Stripdown of the Day
GO

Kerli Kıiv is Estonia’s Avril Lavigne
GO

Have Some Sex, and See What All The Fuss is About!
GO

Dave Navarro’s Dating a Reality TV Rock and Roll Slut
GO

Selma Blair and Stana Katic Nude
GO

Brides in Underwear
GO

Halle Berry Pregnancy Boobs Throwback Because they are Wonderful
GO

How to Undress a Women in the Most Cop
GO

Some Beach Volleyball Sluts
GO

Ughh, is it me, or did Barbie’s Dog Just TAKE A SHIT?
GO

Some 2005 Reggie Bush Partying in Cabo With Sluts
GO

Miss Great Britain – Gemma Garrett Topless
GO

Locals South African’s Deal With People They Don’t Like By Burning Them and That’s Gotta Be Against Some Human Rights Shit…..
GO

Find the Best Amateur Porn Sites Online…
GO

Some Hot Model’s Got Her Tits Exposed in this Photoshoot…
GO

Hilary Duff’s Tits in a Wife Beater
GO

Liv Tyler is Ugly in Some Low Cut Dress
GO

A Group of Teenage Girls Fight an Old Lady
GO

Some Funny Stripper Mishap
GO

Some NSFW Deaf Girl Wants to be a Pornstar – Like Really NSFW – Like Don’t Click it NSFW if You Don’t Like Seeing Hardcore Sex NSFW
GO

Some Dude Playing the Drum Table
GO

Some Slut Named Jenny Hendrix Works Her Hot Ass With Gogo Boots On
GO

Some Slut Named Erica Campbell Showing Off her Big Ol’ Tits
GO

Some Topless Lesbians Make Out in Public
GO

Beckham Checkin Out a Laker’s Girl
GO

LOLPORN Takes On LOLCat
GO

An Arab Woman Running on the Treadmill and Falling
GO

Anna Nicole Smith Throwback Nudes
GO

Wilmer Valderamma Bangs A 70s Show Slut
GO

Some Chick Gets The Milk Sucked out of Her in This Weird Fetish Video
GO

ROGUE COLLECTOR’S PHOTOBUCKET FINDS

Some Chick Completely Naked for Some Alternative Model Photoshoot
GO

BONUS – I Think It’s Time to Take a Trip to Miami Beach Because of the Clubsluts

GO

ANOTHER BONUS – HEYMEN HUSTLE

Some Gossip Girl Chick and Brooklyn Decker from Victoria’s Secret At Some Event Lookin’ Hot….
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

22

May

Some Victoria’s Secret Promo Starring Miranda Kerr, Marisa Miller and Alessandra Ambrosio in Bikinis of the Day

The Victoria’s Secret cult strikes again with their distracting hot bitches in bikinis that they pretty much own like this dude I know who bough a Russian in some Mail Order bride service. Bitch did everything he told her and it was always funny seeing this tall hot blonde chick holding hands with a short, old fat guy, but she was just happy to be there until he pushed too hard and his posters of war-torn Russia that he would point to everytime she was out of line stopped working, leading to her taking the driving seat and eventually leaving him for some younger, richer dude. I just tell him he’s lucky he got out alive, because anyone from a war-torn country is dangerous and reverts back to survival mode when they really lose it but poor fucker is just broken hearted about it. I guess that just proves you can’t buy happiness, but you can buy pussy.

Posted in:Alessandra Ambrosio|Bikini|Marisa Miller|Miranda Kerr|Victoria's Secret

2008

22

May

Uma Thurman is Flat Assed in a Bikini of the Day

Comments Off on Uma Thurman is Flat Assed in a Bikini of the Day

Uma Thurman brought her big old tits out to play on the beach in a bikini because she’s got nothing better to do and despite boring me, they may excite you and that’s what I am here for, It doesn’t give me much pleasure knowing that some of you weirdos may jerk off to my site, but I guess it’s something I just have to accept and being someone who can’t jerk off to the shit I do, I guess I should be more appreciative of the fact that someone can because sometimes lonely nights of jerking off are better than nights spent with girls crying after having had slept with you because they realized the kind of disrespect they just but their body through out of a lapse in judgement brought on by being dumped by their boyfriend, not that that should stop you, or that you should care why they are doing what they are doing, you just need to seize the opportunity and take everything you can out of that vulnerable girl.

BONUS – Uma Thurman hangs with a fat chick in the age-old strategy to make herself appear hotter and skinnier than she really is. It’s some David Copperfield illusion shit that always seems to work.

Posted in:Bikini|Uma Thurman