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Jenna Ortega for the Beetlejuice Photocall of the Day

Kelly Brook From Big Titty Model to Big Back Model of the Day

Charli XCX for Demon Kim Kardashian’s Brand of the Day

Christina Aguilera and her Botox Face and Ozempic Body Get Slutty of the Day

Shannon Mcmullen is the Instagram Of The Day

2008

Apr

Sienna Miller is Showing Some Tit on the Beach of the Day

4 Comments »

Sienna Miller looks like a girl who likes to fuck, but then again so do most girls, but that’s just because I am a pervert and look at the world through my own kind of rose colored glasses where every girl I come across is a total slut in my fantasies and love taking it from every angle. It makes life a lot more fun to live, which is something I need because pretty much all other aspects of my life are some kind of sick joke that God’s playing on me, not to mention that even my rose-colored glasses view on the world has a serious downside and that is that none of those sluts are getting with me.

Speaking of sluts who aren’t getting down with me, here are some pictures of Sienna Miller running around on the beach and in the ocean like some kind of girl on vacation because she has made enough money to keep her out of having a normal 9-5 career where she has to sleep with her boss to get a raise or even a career stripping, but the good news is that she’s still doing the whole getting naked for money shit, just on a hire pay scale and in the movies so that she can easily convince us that it’s her craft and not using her body for profit, not that it takes any convincing for any of us because we like looking at it.

The truth is that all girls should take her lead, there’s really no purpose for bikini tops, it’s just some conservative American formality that takes away from my fun. They just get in the way, they leave annoying tan lines like some kind of Playboy Model, Pornstar or slut from the 90s and hide a natural tool used to feed our offspring that we should be celebrating. Covering them up isn’t giving them the justice they deserve, it’s some oppressive shit and the truth is that they are often more interesting to look at then the slut they belong to so if there’s one body part you shouldn’t be allowed to show off, it’s that ugly face of yours, so wrap it up like you’re in Muslim country now and show me your motherfucking tits, like Sienna Miller’s doing…..

Posted in:Bikini|Sienna Miller|Topless

2008

Apr

Sarah Silverman Sings With her Vagina and Ass of the Day

6 Comments »

Everyone finds this bitch hysterical and I don’t see the funny in what she does, what I do know is that her shoulders are so fucking broad she probably didn’t land much cock growing up and that’s why she’s overcompensating, kinda like the funny fat kid in the back of the class who makes everyone laugh so he always gets invited to parties instead of made fun of and left in the corner where he belongs, and sometimes the hot chick decides to fuck him when she’s wasted because he makes her laugh.

I was never that guy because I am not funny, I am just an asshole and that usually makes one other asshole laugh while just hurting the feelings of person I am making for of and that doesn’t get you invited to the parties, but this isn’t about me, what it’s about is Silverman.

This is her stupid act that involves her disgusting vagina and ass singing along with her. It is harmless and would go over huge at a frat party meaning that you’ll probably like it because you are a loser. I always thought girls thinking their pussies having a mind of their own was kinda cute, but the thought of Sarah Silverman’s ass or pussy makes me think scary things, that don’t involve singing but do involve a weird alien creature crawling out of the shit like some kind of miscarriage gone wrong and grabbing you by the dick and forcing you inside.

I know you really like the idea of an ass and pussy talking because in your fantasy they are convincing their host to give you a shot, an while you’re in there they give you words of encouragement as to just how good of a job you are doing. When the truth is that if Vagina could talk, they’d all be begging you to stop poking them there and screaming for help while the woman they belong to is passed out in the back of a cab and you’re taking advantage of the situation. You’re such an opportunist and I guess I have no choice but to respect that.

Posted in:Ass|Sarah Silverman|Song|Vagina

2008

Apr

Hilary Clinton is the Coolest Presidential Candidate of the Day

18 Comments »

I am going to admit that I don’t know anything about American politics, what I do know is that the American economy has gone to shit, that the Iraq war has killed a lot of people, has cost a lot of money and has been spun in a way to make it look like a warranted war, when in reality the story doesn’t really add up to me and reminds me of the time I caught my girlfriend at the time cheating on me. She’d always have these outrageous stories like Weapons of Mass destruction and I kinda just believed her before landing a serious case of the Clap, which is when the evidence was so clear to me that I had to dump her, despite how hot her tits were or how good she was at riding my dick.

I will say that I don’t think a woman or a black man will get elected because the country is filled with racists and traditional misogynists who would rather keep their women in the kitchen than running their country which is probably the same reason why women weren’t allowed to be fighter pilots because of their periods about 10 or 15 years ago.

What I do know is that Hilary Clinton is double fisting her drinks like a college girl about to get naked for Girls Gone Wild and if that’s not fuckin’ sexy then I don’t know what is. Maybe I am biased becaust the truth is that I can only land drunk chicks, so this is like the prelude to me getting laid, but at the same time I like how she’s not scared to down a fuckin’ shot of Whiskey.

I guess the whole election is a little more real than it has been in the past, you got bitches drinking, old republicans talking about going to strip clubs and cheating on their wives and I don’t know shit about Obamam but can assume he’s done his fair share of seedy shit, but that’s just because I have preconceived notions of black people loving to have a good time. It’s not my fault, I’m not racist. I blame hip hop.

Posted in:Hilary Clinton|Presidential Race

2008

Apr

Britney Spears and Her Car Accident of the Day

5 Comments »

Here are the Paparazzi trying to relive the glory days of when they killed Princess Diana because it turned out to be a huge story people are still talking about today that made them lots of money. Only instead of running after the royal family in England, they are running after America’s royalty, which in this case is Britney Spears. I know that’s not saying much about the USA but it’s what people care about and what better way to get pictures they can sell for millions, than to run the bitch off the fuckin’ road since in their insane European paparazzi ways while using their native European languages and stupid accents with their broken english,

The truth is that everyone is freaking out because she had a bit of a car accident that didn’t leave anyone hurt and her car is not even that fucked up, and everyone is talking about how she shouldn’t be driving, or whether she was under the influence or whatever, but no one is saying a thing about the harassment that lead to the car accident proven in the number of assholes with cameras that are on the scene before the cops even get there.

The paparazzi are fucking psychopaths, they don’t even have work visas and are the equivalent of migrant workers cleaning out hotel rooms in California, but those migrant workers get deported but for some reason the paparazzi aren’t getting deported but are instead trying to shut down my site while trying to kill Britney Spears and I pretty much hate them.

Posted in:Britney Spears|car accident|Paparazzi War

2008

Apr

Rita G and Her XXL Video Shoot of the Day

2 Comments »

My computer is running like shit, which is kinda to be expected since I got it for 40 dollars 2 years ago, but I’m still posting today, even if it takes me a long fucking time to do it. I guess it doesn’t matter, what does matter is this Rita G video shoot for XXL magazine. Rita G is the hot chick from the Kanye video you all jerk off to when watching MTV between episodes of The Hills.

I don’t read XXL magazine cuz I am not Urban enough and by Urban I mean black or a white kid in the suburbs who thinks I am black. I do however have jungle fever now and it all started last week with Serena Willams in a bikini, not because it brought back my first memories of the zoo as a little immigrant kid, but because it reminded me that in all my sexual conquests I have never got a chance to experience a black girl.

I never really investigated why this has never gone down, I think it’s gotta do with the way I look, the size of my little penis and maybe my fear of black girls because they look like they’d hurt me if I got out of line with them. So I’ve never pursued them, I’ve never been in their circle and never really had a chance to even socialize with them.

This weekend, I went to my local stripclub and this tall, thin, hot dark skinned black girl with an insane body was on stage and I was hooked. I told her she was the hottest girl in the place and all she wanted was me to pay her for a dance. I had no money but I did cross paths with her on the way to the bathroom and she was talking to her friend about how her dress got stolen and how it was a 400 dollar Liz Claiborne. She was running her mouth off about how she doesn’t fuck around and that she’s not like other strippers and is classy but will still kill this other whore, so I decided to chime in and said “I thought all strippers were classy, where I am from getting naked for money and letting guys grab your tits for money is considered high society, but then again I am one step away from being homeless and I haven’t changed my underwear in 4 days”.

As she stared back at me like she was going to kill me with her fake Chanel earrings shining back at me, I realized that she didn’t find my joke funny and either did I, but she wasn’t charmed by me and needless to say, I have still never got with a black girl.

Posted in:Ass|Rita G

2008

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

6 Comments »

I guess it’s Friday, that’s what everyone’s telling me. I really have no concept of days since I just sit on the computer everyday and it all looks and feels the same but I guess that means I should take my getting drunk to the next level because I don’t plan on posting here tomorrow and can afford to wake up in the gutter in my own vomit.

I plan on sleeping, sexually harassing girls on the internet and possibly something else that I haven’t quite figured but will probably involve me sitting, since it’s my hobby. I know you don’t care about reading this and strippers are waiting to be paid ten dollars to let me put my magical typing hands all over their tits and that’s just what I am going to go do.

Speaking of Facebook, I am lookin’ for friends – Add me to Facebook
GO

And Now….Here are my links:

Fergie is a clown you want to fuck…
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Some Lola Luv to End The Week Off Right
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Megan Fox Topless Girl on Girl Fight….
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Some More Pictures of Carla Bruni Naked
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Ingrid Coronado Panty Upskirt Video
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The Best Part of Your Weekend Right Here
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Create Your Own Podcast
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Get Sex, It’s Fun
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A Nice Karolina Kurkova Gallery
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Sexy Webcam Time!
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More Over the Hills
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This Slut Might Be Your Daughter and I Might Have to Teach Her a Few Things about Being a Slut
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And Now, Some Haitian News…
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Britney May Be Getting Another Reality Show
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Paris Hilton Is Having Trouble Finding a New Best Friend
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Parents of the Year
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Find Girls to Fuck
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Vanessa Minnillo is Still Alive and Worth Fucking
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I Just Don’t Get Madonna
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Vanilla Ice Got Arrested Again
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Some Hot Japanese Chick Flops in a Pool
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Ultimate Hot Chick Competition
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Get the FUCK Off My Car…Get it?
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Pristine is Pristine
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Cameron Diaz Should Have Been a Zooligist
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Scary Spice Topless on the Beach
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Find Porn Here
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Making Cents
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Happy Birthday Alessandra Ambrosio You Pregnant Slag….
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Broads and Guns
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More Real Girls You’d Want to Fuck
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Nikki Brooks is a Whore
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Miley Cyrus Needs to Calm Down
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Furthermore, WTF Is Going on in Her Bedroom?
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Anna Tatangelo Give Guys Boners
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Stacy Dash is 42 Years Old and Lookin FINE!
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2 Girls Showing Their Tits Together
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My Kind of Political Announcement
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The Bitch From Weeds is Back on the Market
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Pics from the Hooters Bikini Contest
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A Couple of Slutty Sisters
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Some Amateur Chick Masturbating Video
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Some Sofia Loren Vintage Nudes Worth Lookin’ At
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WHOA NELLA! You slut….
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Some Guys Huge Breasted Chick Naked and Cummed On
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Some Hot Booty Compilation
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Some Tanned Bitch Modeling Her Micro Bikini Video
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FROM THE FORUM

The Breeders
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How Do You Deal with a Hangover
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Weird Fetishes
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The Megas
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Timbaland
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Nina Simone
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Stevie Wonder
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Gianna Michaels
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Sara Stone
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Cheney and the Naked Woman
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Interpol – Our Love to Admire DVD EP
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Gomez – In Our Gun
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New Order – Substance
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Interpol – Mammoth
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Liz Phair Bootlegs
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Karen Ann – Self-Titled
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Mariah Carey – Unplugged
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The Gorillaz – G-Sides
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The Shins – When You Land Here
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It Winks
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Stacey Dash Nipples
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Snakes on the Mofo plane!
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Anatomicallt Correct Lamp
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The Boobies
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Erotique Feels Herself
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Random Slut
GO

A Bunch of Sluts
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Tera Patrick and Some Lingerie Trashy Fashion Show of the Day

10 Comments »

Tera Patrick and her wallet fucking ugly Jewish husband have a lingerie line and this is her classy fashion show starring pornstars in Vegas. It’s not all that hot but I figure you like porn stars and the lingerie they sell because they are pretty much the only girls willing to get naked for you and by you I mean anyone willing to buy their DVDs or download their pictures on the computer because I can’t imagine anyone paying for porn this generation. Trashy, tacky and very little clothes comes with the territory of being a slut but despite being cheesy people they look like they have more fun than me. The highlight of the video is when her pervert husband tries to lift up the host’s skirt and that’s when I realized that being a cheesy pervert, marrying a pornstar and fully absorbing yourself in this smutty lifestyle seems like a pretty good life, once you get past the fact that you’re lame, dress like a clown and have cheesy tattoos on your head to justify your balding Jewish accountant roots.

Posted in:Lingerie|Tera Patrick

2008

Apr

Mila Kunis Lookin’ Good at her Movie Premiere of the Day

11 Comments »

I have a feeling that this Forgetting Sarah Marshall shit is going to be big. They marketed it smart and tricked people into thinking that some guy was actually trying to get revenge on an ex no name actress by buying billboards, at least really stupid people fell for it. This is Mila Kunis at the premiere.

The thought of Macaulay Culkin getting up in this on the daily is a testament to how life sucks. My only explanation is that she used to rub up against the corner of her mattress when she was 12 watching his movies and meeting him was like a dream come true for her. That or dude’s got a huge dick and after a night of getting high together, because I remember Macaulay being some kind of addict, he introduced her to it.

I was at some Family Guy reading that someone gave me tickets to the other year. The entire cast was there, including Mila Kunis who I wanted to fuck then as much as I want to fuck her now and it was in some old theater. I remember Macaulay walking out and sitting in the crowd and I tried harassing him.

I started by screaming his name and everyone in the theater cheered, then I tried throwing random shit at him, I started with popcorn but he was about 10 rows ahead of me then I decided in a drunken rage to throw my can of coke I brought in while screaming “hey Culkin, I hear you like coke” and I missed. Shit ended up landing one some bitch and I got escorted out for my bad joke and disrupting something as important as the Family Guy staff party who were reading a fucking script to a crowd of virgins.

Point of my story is that I’ll never forgive him for ruining my night and now you can hate him too because he’s fuckin’ this.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

Apr

Hayden Panettiere’s Sexual Harassment Video of the Day

9 Comments »

I’ve made it clear that I hate Will Ferrell and everything dude’s involved in, including this Funny or Die bullshit, but I had no choice to post it because Hayden Panettiere is talking about being sexually harassed and that’s pretty much the funniest thing I’ve heard today. So I guess Will Ferrell knows funny, but considering I don’t talk to anyone, that’s not saying much, but I can only assume she assumes guys are sexually harassing her when they challenge her to a wrestling match, what she doesn’t know is that there’s a bet between the guys that they won’t win and they are trying to save face.

I guess none of that matters, here’s Hayden’s shoulders doing some stupid PSA comedy clip that isn’t funny, but proves that perverts are addicted to pussy and don’t necessarily give a fuck what that pussy is attached to, like a crack addict searching through the sewer for a rock he thinks he saw some cheap whore drop earlier that day. Crazy crackheads. It’s also Hayden Panettiere’s passive aggressive way of telling us not to objectivfy her or she’ll crush us like she crushed the bench press before shooting this.

Posted in:Comedy|Hayden Panettiere

2008

Apr

Tara Reid’s is a Star Party Girl of the Day

4 Comments »

Tara Reid is a machine and parties all the time. I don’t think she gets enough credit for the work that she does because going out is a total pain in the ass. Everyone hates on her for being useless but the truth is that she draws a crowd when she hits these clubs like some d-list rockstar and she’s constantly bringing her A-game.

I know when I get wasted in barsI am pretty much tapped out for a week. I get 2 day hangovers and usually don’t leave my bed until my wife gets into it but that’s just because there’s not enough room for the two of us. That’s life as a fat man with a fat wife and that’s probably part of the reason why I don’t have the same kind of stamina as Tara Reid.

The good news is that I still drink everyday, but there’s just something easier about getting wasted in a gutter alone than having to make conversation with useless people while trying to look your best, which is something I never have to do because I’m no miracle worker and can’t help but look like a wreck. I guess that’s just one of the many reason’s I’m not like Tara Reid, other reasons include not having fake tits, not having money, not being someone people want to have sex with and not wearing my wallpaper out as a dress because I don’t even have wallpaper. I know…I’m pretty much good for nothing.

Posted in:Party Girl|Tara Reid