I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

15

Apr

Sienna Miller’s Hot Cocaine Body Rocks a Cameltoe in a Bikini of the Day

Sienna Miller is good to go. She’s got an amazing cocaine body and I love that she doesn’t mind showing it off like some free spirited vegan feminist in sandals with a huge bush, but unlike the vegan feminist, Sienna Miller doesn’t rip cocks off men everywhere and hold them over her head like she’s carrying some Olympic torch in her quest to take the penis down, but instead begs for it to be stuck inside her because it’s a lazy day and she just feels like smoking some cigarettes, drinking some wine and laying on white linens naked all day after getting fucked.

Sure it could just be misrepresentation and misinterpretation, but she seems to be the good kind of hippie, the kind who is into fucking but who lives in luxury lofts, wears designer clothes and has enough money to pay me child support after I K-Fed her. Not that I ever will, but you get what I’m saying here, her vagina’s so hungry it’s eating her white bikini bottoms and that to me is enough proof of what I just wrote. Reality is that none of us will find out, but you can try to pretend you are while masturbating. It wouldn’t be a first time for you…at least you’re giving your dead relatives who are watching over you something to watch and by watch I mean be ashamed of…I guess it’s your kind of over-acheiving or some shit, you know adding chronic masturbater to being an unemployed, overweight loser on welfare in his mom’s basement is kind of an achievement.

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Cocaine|Sienna Miller

2008

15

Apr

Michael Caine’s Got Some Hot Pussy of the Day

Michael Caine hanging out with some slut who isn’t his wife is pretty awesome, but not as awesome as menopause. Nothing turns a woman into a squared out dump truck quite like hormonal changes in her body. Aging is a glorious thing, where skin loses it’s elasticity and falls off your bones and your ass becomes a sack of fucking shit and not just a tool used to fill a bag with shit. I have no idea who this chubby, dumpy girl is, but seeing her gives me a total fuckin’ boner, but that’s just because I can tell she’s easy and would appreciate any attention she gets because that is all part of the beauty of fleeting beauty.

Posted in:Bikini|Michael Caine

2008

15

Apr

I got Jungle Fever For Montana of the Day

Her name is Montana and she’s some big breasted whore of a black chick, who wears sheer tops and tapes her nipples so that she can keep her outfit PG and not get dirty looks when at the store buying her illegitimate baby some formula.

The truth is that I am hooked on black girls right now, in my life I’ve got none because they tend to hate me and my ignorant ways and because I’ve never lived in the suburbs where middle class people of all races and culture mingle at block parties, in schools and at the mall, but I am from the gutter where all races and cultures hate each other and run from each other or get killed by each other over stolen bikes and $5 worth of crack.

The point is that I went to the strip club and fell in love with some 19 year old Naomi Campbell dark, tall, glamorous girl who told me she was classy. I wrote the story yesterday but can’t get the thought of her YouTube worthy ass shake out of my head. I pretty much live on the internet so everything I see reminds me of the Internet. It’s depressing but not as depressing as finding out that most guys don’t like the booty shake dance and just find it played out, but I’m not one of those guys. That shit hypnotizes me and for some reason black girls do it best. I guess it has to do with having a natural rhythm, like they are genetically coded to understand drums and chants because it’s been a huge part of their culture while running away from lions, Rhinos and all other African Safari animals like the AIDS virus and famine.

I guess this girl Montana may not be all about her ass, like my girl was but that’s probably because she’s stacked and likes to focus on her good parts but she is definitely a step-up/stomp the yard from that other Montana who Disney created and who hasn’t even been in puberty long enough to have tits.

Posted in:Jungle Fever|Montana

2008

15

Apr

Kristen Bell’s Sex Scene in the Forgetting Sarah Marshall R-Rated Clip of the Day

I woke up after 3 hours of sleep wondering why my wife never wants to fuck me. Sure I’ve got the whole impotency issue and there was a time she wouldn’t keep her slimy hands off of me forcing me to reject her and tell her how gross she was repeatedly until bitch understood the magnitude of what her obesity was doing to me sexually, but every now and then, my ridiculous sexual obsession and “Always Down to Fuck” attitude gets the better of me and she rejects me. I don’t know how often you’ve been rejected by girls, but there’s something really destructive to one’s confidence and self esteem when a bitch who you don’t even want to fuck turns you down when you’re willing to close your mother fucking eyes and pretend you are slamming a Sea Manatee or someshit.

So after waking up and forcing myself to shower off the dirty thoughts I had about my disgusting wife I came up with a rant about how when you first get involved with someone the sex is retarded and never ending, then one day it all stops and not because you want it to, but because they want it to and it makes me wonder why they stick around or why I let them stick around because instead of having trouble walking from having my penis owned, I have trouble sleeping thinking about how the fuck I am going to break into her box, despite how scary the shit is. I feel like I am like a fucking David Blane motherfucker trying chained upside down and dropped into a tank of hungry sharks lookin for the magic button that will turn the box on long enough to get in and get off and get the fuck out so that I can pretend it never happened.

Either way, here’s a clip from Forgetting Sarah Marshall that was just emailed to me where Kristen Bell has some stupid sex, trying to be stupid funny, in a stupid movie that is going to be a stupid success because the public is stupid and because Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell are the stars and they are stupid hot.

Posted in:Forgetting Sarah Marshall|Kristen Bell|Sex Scene

2008

15

Apr

Miley Cyrus Lesbian Fantasy of the Day

I’ve seen other sites run a Lesbian Fantasy post where they throw up a picture of two hot chicks hanging out together at random events in some kind of photo op and I decided to jump on the bandwagon.

Here are some pictures of Miley Cyrus grabbing onto some chick who has luxurious fuckin’ hair. It is so glorious and coifed that I just can’t seem to take my eyes off her highlights. Sure she’s got a little facial hair going on but beggars can’t be fuckin’ choosers in this situation and with a scooping unbuttoned shirt, I can look past that shit. I love the gutterslut prison tattoos left on her hand as a memory of her shower scene lesbian gangbang with prison guards and the other rough lookin’ women, because I know that means she knows how to have a good time. I just wonder where Miley would meet this kind of woman, you’d think her parent’s and God wouldn’t approve,

I am surprised that they are out in public together, touching each other the way they are. You know if that was an older man with a 15 year old girl, the police would be up on that motherfucker in about a minute. I guess there’s a double standard when it’s an older woman with a younger girl, but the real issue is what goes on in the bedroom. I know that Miley is a girl of God and doesn’t let men up in her like she was Jamie Lynn Spears, but I was convinced she just took it in the ass instead. God doesn’t get mad if you technically stay a virgin, but I guess she’s taking that virginity shit serious and instead just masturbates with older women. I guess it’s a lot more wholesome and pure.

Yeah, I can admit that this post totally bombed. I slept 3 hours, I am sick and making excuses for this disaster of a post.

Posted in:Billy Ray Cyrus|Lesbian Fantasy|Miley Cyrus

2008

15

Apr

2004 Hometown Hottie Brittany Lee Gets Her First Big Job Being a Slut of the Day

This is a Maxim Hometown Hottie winner from 2004 named Brittany Lee doing some “modeling” work for Hustler Lingerie and by modeling work I mean showing off her retarded fake tits for their photoshoot because every other stripper was too busy giving lap dances to make the appearance and none of the other strippers have the prestigious Maxim Hometown Hottie title to go with their fake tits, so Brittany Lee was pretty much the only choice.

I always made fun of the Maxim Hometown Hottie contest, not because I think Maxim is a piece of shit magazine, but because the girls in in are pieces of shit. I think all these hometown hottie girls grew up with dreams about being a Maxim covergirl as they jealously watched their boyfriend’s flip the pages of Maxim. Then one day, they noticed that Maxim offers everyday hot chicks the chance to be in the magazine and they get all excited with the hope that they will make it into the shit, it will be their big break and important people will find them and offer them work. They will be famous and they’ll get half naked to make the world see just how great they are.

What you end up having is a bunch of attention craving sluts going up against each other to win the championship of attention craving sluts delusional about how important to the world they are and convinced it will lead to bigger things.

I guess that concept is pretty genius on Maxim’s part and deserves a high five for finding willing, free and slutty half naked girls to feature, but unfortunately for the girls, the second the issue comes out, everyone forgets who they are because no one remembers a slut’s name, they just aren’t that important, but if their tits are big enough they can land classy work modeling Hustler Lingerie. I guess the next step for this Brittany Lee bitch’s career is the Heidi Montag Heidiwood catalog…or the gutter..which ever comes first.

Posted in:Hometown Hottie|Hustler Lingerie|Maxim|Video

2008

14

Apr

stepLINKS of the Day

I made a lot of enemies this weekend as I set out to do. I don’t remember much of it but I know that I brought some people down a couple notches because I hate seeing people have a good time. I am an asshole and for some reason kept thinking how good it would have been if I videotaped the whole thing… instead of trying to write it and remember it. I could be the next Alex Trebek or some shit, but with strippers and drunks. The truth is I don’t have the boyish good looks to make me look like like I’m just an asshole for good times, but instead look like some alcoholic on some kind of rampage that belongs institutionalized.

I guess it doesn’t matter….but I’d like to apologize to the stripper who I told was too fat to get naked for money and the other stripper who I asked if she was going to slap me with her dick if I got a private dance with her because she was a little too tough to be a girl. Unfortunately, they were crackhead strippers and probably don’t have a computer or even a place to call home…

Here are my links:


Marilyn Monroe’s Got a Sex Tape She’s a Celebrity Sex Tape Pioneer
GO

Miranda Kerr’s Breasts Are Perfect
GO

Global Warming Isn’t So Bad Afterall
GO

Kristen Bell Lookin’ Hot in a Photoshoot
GO

Alicia Keys Hates White People, And Looks Good Doing It and By Good I Mean Not Very Good…
GO

J.K Rowlands Tit Slip Was Saved By a Grab
GO

Looking At These Sluts Now This is About As Close As You Will Get to These Sluts
GO

Hide Your Stash in a Ford Truck, Just In Case
GO

Some Sexy Chicks Play Ball
GO

If It Will Help You Get Laid, It’s Worth IT
GO

America’s Next Top Whore
GO

Anna Barros Gallery
GO

Some Beauty Pageant Pics for You to Make Love To Yourself With…
GO

Amy Winehouse Is Gonna Make a Fine Parent
GO

Ashley Simpson Possibly Knocked Up?
GO

Fine Girls to Fuck
GO

Vagina Workshop
GO

Get Yourself Some Webcam Sluts to Do Webcam Things For Free
GO

When Did Kate Beckinsale Get So Hot?
GO

Heidi Montag Launches Her New Classy Clothing Line More Pics
GO

Find The Best Porn on The Net
GO

Man, 2 Live Crew Needs to Do a Reunion Tour
GO

Hot Bikini Ass Video
GO

Tube Top Pilates
GO

Penny Lancaster is Topless
GO

Jedi Baseball. Two of the Most Loser Things You Love Rolled into One
GO

Now THATS What I Call a Running Outfit
GO

Rock of Love – And The Winner Is….
GO

Crotchless Pants??
GO

Some Russian Sluts to Start the Week Off Right
GO

Leah Stands Around in Her Undies
GO

Marissa Miller Showing Some Cleavage….
GO

How I Long for the Old Days
GO

Some Amazing Full House Outtakes
GO

Dr Phil Has No shame Whatsoever
GO

Veronica Zemanova Has Got Some Big fucking Cans
GO

I’m Trying to Teach You How To Fuck
GO

Some Columbian TV Star Named Ana Karina has a Shitty Sex Tape
GO

Some 18 Year Old Girl Fights With her Mom About Going on a Date With Someone She Met on Myspace
GO

Some Weird Pussy Beating Video
GO

10 Greatest Moments in Pussy Punching History
GO

UK Slut Lucy Becker Naked Photoshoot
GO

Girls Making Out After a Mud Wrestling Match
GO

Some Italian Porn Star Running for Government
GO

Some Weird Lap Dance Party I Wasn’t Invited To
GO

Amazing – This Married Chick had an Affair with her Married Father….
GO

Some Spring Break Girls in Their Bikinis
GO

Some Dental Product Erotica
GO

Jodie Sweetin from Full House Has Had a Baby
GO

Kim Kardashian Is In Love With Herself
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET:

Some Girl Takes a Whole Lot of Pictures in From of the Mirror in Various States of Undress
GO

Some Flexible Chick Showing Off Her Body
GO

More of Her Being Less Flexible but More Naked
GO

Some Baby Mommy’s Vagina
GO

Some Girl and Her Tits
GO

Some Latin Chick Shows Her Vagina and Nipple
GO

FROM THE FORUM

The Office (US) The Complete Series
GO

Foxboro Hot Tubs From Green Day
GO

Flexible?
GO

Guys: Shave?
GO

10 000 Maniacs
GO

The Kinks Thread
GO

That OTHER Zappa
GO

Big, Giant Titties
GO

Some Vintage Stuff
GO

Courtney Love
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

14

Apr

Anna Kournikova is a Jock Running a Marathon of the Day

I like girls who work out and have prison tattoos it reminds me of the army, not that I was ever in the army but I like to pretend I was when crawling through my neighbors window to steal his daughter’s panties. It’s makes the whole experience so much more fun, because I know he’s down on his luck and would sell me the shit if I just offered him a couple of bucks or some of my old empties, but the truth is it’s not as exciting as putting on war paint and a pair of cargo pants to really feel like my life has a purpose and that I am on some special operative sting.

Here are some pictures of Anna Kournikova showing off her fit body and prison tattoos while running a triathalong an that is a lot better than looking at a lazy Kim Kardashian sitting on her fat rich ass. Truth is that I am pretty envious of anyone who is even capable of walking up a flight of stairs without throwing up from exhaustion, like my wife usually does and soon I will be doing, because it turns out after living with someone for a long time, you pick up their disgusting habits, and my wife’s got a whole barrel of fucking disgusting that will lead to my early retirement from this life, unfortunately we won’t be having a party with a golden handsake, maybe just a golden shower all over my tombstone. I guess I have a lot in more in common with Kardashian than I thought….

Posted in:Anna Kournikova|Jock|Marathon

2008

14

Apr

Avril Lavigne Getting Hot and Heavy in the Park of the Day

I am a fan of public sex and apparently so is the rest of the world. There’s a whole lot of porn coming out with people getting it on in public and even the most wholesome chicks I talk to tell me stories of them sucking dick in public bathrooms or even in parks late at night. Now I have never had much public sex because it wasn’t trendy back when I was having sex but I am totally not against it. It’s actually one of the reasons I lurk around the city at night hoping to find some good action, but that’s just because I can’t afford a TV and prefer my porn to be some real life shit I’m spying on that some staged shit I come across on the internet, I guess part of me just wants to be invited into a couple’s bedroom to really get a feel for how things go down.

The good news is that Avril Lavigne and her boyfriend/husband/ teenage rebel are giving us a taste of what goes down between them in the bedroom, but I don’t call this public sex, it’s too fuckin’ tame, dudes just groping her a little because she’s probably getting her period and her hormones are all out of wack and it’s the only time of month she has tits worth grabbing. Unless I see him slipping it up her skirt while she sits on his lap like good public sex, I’m calling this lame, but a good try to be naughty, hope it sparks something in their sex life, because they got married too young and she’ll be bored of fucking him in about a minute, that’s when she’ll start banging her band members again.

Posted in:Avril Lavigne|Public Sex

2008

14

Apr

Heidi Montag’s Clothing Line is Called Heidiwood of the Day

I don’t really know what the deal with The Hills is but I do know that none of the bitches on the show are hot enough to fuck. They are all a bunch of average at best lookin’ girls and have no fucking business being on TV. I guess to be fair, Roseanne, Darlene from Roseanne, Grace Under Fire and Rosie O’Donnel have all had really successful TV careers, but I guess they never mistakenly took that success as being some kind of sex symbol.

So here’s Heid and her fucking loser pretend boyfriend, with her pretend tits and her pretend success that came from a pretend show, showing off a line of clothing called Heidiwood, which isn’t a pretend tacky name, and isn’t pretend ugly, and will only be worn by girls who don’t pretend they aren’t sluts, but actually embrace that shit and flock to anything that requires a bikini wax to wear.

This is on some on some neon g-string cat suit level that is the same quality as anything sold in a sex shop, worn by a stripper or on a porn set, it’s the kind of shit that gives you a rash when you put it on, but the good news is this time the rash isn’t caused by another herpes outbreak. Let’s celebrate!! Too bad no one is here to give me a dozen roses to make me feel good on my special day.

Posted in:Clothing|Heidi Montag|Heidiwood