I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

04

Mar

Lindsay Lohan’s Got Coke Bloat of the Day

So my wife is still trying to get my dick, even though my dick doesn’t work. Today she went out to the fuckin’ doctor and got Viagra behind my back not realizing that this impotency is all psychological and she’s the fuckin’ cause of it because she’s disgusting, so I figured it was time to have a sit down so she understood that I don’t want to fuck her and the reason I don’t want to fuck her is because she’s fuckin’ fat and smells. So she comes at me with the pack of pills and I tell her straight up that no pill is strong enough to make her look worth a round. I told her she’s fat and keeps getting fatter and unless she drops 75 lbs, she’ll have to get dick somewhere else. I am cool with that, as long as she pays my rent. She tried to flip shit on me saying that the reason she is fat is because I don’t make her feel desirable so she eats the pain away and fucking was always her cardio. So it was this catch 22 bullshit that me not fuckin’ her for being ugly has made her even more ugly, so I’ve pretty much ruined this bitch and taken the little self esteem she has.

In a lot of ways I do the same thing to my wife that Lohan’s cocaine is doing to her, the more she spends time with it, the worse bitch looks, only difference is that I’d still let her rail lines off my dick no matter how much she starts lookin like Chris Farley before his cocaine bloat made his heart explode because addicted girls are easy, all you need is a baggy.

Posted in:Uncategorized

2008

04

Mar

Demi Moore is Living in the Past of the Day

There’s nothing wrong with people like Demi Moore who can’t deal with getting older, they just keep on holding onto their drowning youth as long as they fuckin’ can. It happens all the time in all walks for life with both men and women, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal that she’s hoping that no one notices that she isn’t that desirable young slut who Bruce Willis was making really fuckin’ ugly babies inside anymore, so she goes after the 25 year old boy toys, she gets 500,000 dollars of plastic surgery and now she brings out copies of her Vanity Fair cover from 1990 when she was naked, pregnant and more relevant in the world. A time before we knew her uterus was a fuckin’ wreck and made mutant babies, at least that’s the Rumer….

Seeing her sign her old Vanity Fair cover reminds me of the football quarterback in high school who is fat, divorced and living in a 1 bedroom apartment, lifting boxes in the warehouse now, but still brings his high school yearbook out to the bar to brag to the kids about his glory days when all the bitches wanted his dick….but now all he’s got is internet porn and hookers to love….

Posted in:Demi Moore|old

2008

04

Mar

Samantha Fox Donates Her Old Bra to Charity of the Day

If you’re wondering why it took me so long to update the site, it is is simple, my wife has been trying to have sex with me for the last 15 hours and I’ve been awake and trying to avoid it as best as I can.

Bitch is going through menopause, which for any average man, would mean he doesn’t have to bang his old withered vagina of a wife anymore and you’d think that now we can grow old together watching shows like Murder She Wrote or whatever the fuck menopausal people do.

Unfortunately for me, my wife is a greasy fat fuck and no matter how dried up she gets in theory, her body is always clammy or slippery to touch. Not to mention her vagina is so big you could store a pair of winter boots in there to warm them up and she wouldn’t even know, making her pretty easy to stick it in under all circumstances, so it turns out that even Menopause hates me.

Here are some pictures of the original big breasted UK Galmor model, Samantha Fox, the one who paved the way for people like Jordan and Abi Titmuss and all the other useless UK slags you’ve been jerking off to. She showed her tits in the 80s and I jerked off to them and now she’s menopausal and giving away her bra to charity because she doesn’t need it anymore, she’s upgraded to one of those skin color harnesses they only sell to elderly women at Sears….I guess to be fair she’s not that old….she just looks it….and that won’t stop you..

Posted in:Bra|Charity|Samantha Fox|Tits

2008

04

Mar

stepLINKS of the Day

It looks like my site is back up and running now, which is a good thing. The bad news is that I lost about 90 percent of traffic, but since the site makes no money, I guess it makes no difference whether I have 5 Readers or 1 reader. Hi Mom.

I’m just kidding, my mom is dead. I am running against my computer battery and I think the fucker’s going to beat me, so I’ll just get to my links:

Jordan is Shopping for a Private Jet Because Being a Slut Pays Upskirt
GO

Some Club Sluts Being Club Sluts and Not Talkin’ To You – But At Least You Can Jerk Off To Them
GO

This Ass Model’s Name is Lauren and You’ll Want to Fuck Her
GO

Kelly Osbourne and Kate Moss are Wasted as Fuck Together
GO

Some Hot Chick in Lingerie Rams Into the Camera During Video Shoot
GO

10 TV Celebrities We Think Are Dead
GO

Janet Jackson Teaching Larry King To Dance Makes Me Laugh
GO

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is Pretty Fuckin’ Hot
GO

US Weekly is Perverted
GO

Rihanna Loves Her Ass But Not Her Legs
GO

57 Celebrities Without Make Up
GO

Some Prisoners Doing the Soulja Boy in the Philippines Becaue That Damn Song is that Big
GO

New Paris Hilton Upskirt
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Watch This Plane Nearly Crash Insanity
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Oscar de la Hoya’s Neice is a Total Slut
GO

Fetish Model Bianca Beauchamp Posing
GO

Scarlett Johannson’s Selling Off a Date With Her Because She’s a Hooker – a Really Expensive Hooker – But It’s for Charity
GO

Fat Brandon Davis Brother Gets Busted for Coke and That’s the Least of His Worries
GO

Her Name is Amanda Beard and Here She is in a Photoshoot Wearing a Bikini
GO

The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Sex Scenes in Movies
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Jason Kidd’s Baby’s Momma is Lookin’ Hot
GO

The 50 Greatest Spring Break Bikini Pictures On the Internet
GO

Over 100 Pictures of Chicks Body Painted From SI to Weird
GO

Some Comdey Skit With Some Dude Named Woody at the AVN Awards Worth Watching…
GO

Vaginas in Nature
GO

Paris Hilton Getting Blessed By Some Indian Shaman because Alternative Medicine Cures AIDS
GO

Kim Kardashian’s Guide To Properly Giving Money to the Homeless in Front of the Paparazzi
GO

Regis Has No Idea Who Kim Kardahshian Is
GO

Amy Winehouse is Infected
GO

Michigan Basketball Coach Losin It Cuz It’s Funny
GO

Hilary Clinton Sucks on SNL
GO

Some Naked Chicks At the Lake
GO

Her Name is Tiffany Toth and She’s a Total Slut
GO

Hayden Panettiere Poses With Her Bags
GO

Katherine Heigl is Wasted and Has Tits
GO

Whoopi Talks About Her Grey Pubes and You Find that Hot
GO

Simon Cowell Won’t Promote Viagra for 2 Million Dollars Because He Doesn’t Want to Admit to Erectile Dysfunction
GO

Steve-O Gets Arrested for Drugs Again
GO

Her Name is Charlotte McKenna and This is her Nude Shoot
GO

The World’s Most Naked Protesters
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Nicky Hilton and Her Skinny Fuckin’ Legs
GO

Trishelle from Real World and Playboy Playing Poker with her Cleavage….
GO

Her Name is Amanda Braun and She’s Monday’s Russian Pick Me Up
GO

Kylie Minogue Wants to Fuck Paul McCartney
GO

Here are 5 Celebrities Who Considered Hot But Aren’t
GO

Tara Reid is Fuckin’ Wasted
GO

Record Breaking Dildo Fuck Insanity
GO

FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Weird Pervert’s Dirty Panty Collection – So Weird It’s Funny
GO

Some Chick And Her Erotic Nudes
GO

His Name is Philip McCracken and He Comments on the Site, This is His Podcast
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

Use this to Find Girls to FUck – Because Girls Make Sex More Fun
GO

Get Some Porn..it is Fun…
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2008

03

Mar

More Kate Hudson in her Thong Bikini Pics of the Day

I already did a post on Kate Hudson in her bikini today , but here are the thong bikini pics that are doing the rounds. Don’t ask why I bothered doing another post on her today, I feel like it was easier.

Either way, she does look a little fat in the uterus, but my expert opinion is not very expert since I have never knocked a girl up either because I am shooting blanks or I just never heard back from the girl since pregnancy and abortions were all part of her job description and were a cost of doing business, so even if she did get knocked up, she still wouldn’t have called me to let me know because she got with so many men in any given day, anyone could have been daddy….

All I know, her uterus looks fat, but it could be because of her period or maybe it’s just the way she’s standing or maybe she’s drank one too many beers and eaten one too many plates of nachos. Who knows or cares, what you should know is that despite finding her ugly and not worth a fuck, I had no idea that her ass was this fuckin’ great….so pregnant or not, she’s worth a round as long as she’s gettin’ it from behind….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Kate Hudson|Pregnancy|Thong

2008

03

Mar

Britney Spears and Heidi Montag Do a Duet of the Day

Heidi Montag can’t sing. I’d give her credit for trying but people already do and that’s why she’s in this position to begin with. I know this story all too well and it’s the story of positive reinforcement. She is the kind of girl who was constantly told how pretty she was, constantly told how talented she was and compared to her back woods Colorado friends, she was the trophy fuckin’ wife in training. But she’s in the big leagues now and for some reason no one has told her to her face that she fuckin’ sucks and they just keep on encouraging her to keep on going, eventually she’ll be a hit….but all those pats on the back just keep coming in and she keeps on producing….

This a fat ugly lookin’ girl who wants to be a model, or a kid with one leg wanting to be a pro athlete, or even a man wanting to be able to give birth like a woman…sure it could be possible, but it will take a fucking miracle.

In part of the publicity train, Montag somehow managed to get a broken down Britney whose judgment isn’t all there because of the meds they are shoving down her throat, to do a duet with her, this is probably the height of Montag’s musical career and the highest profile duet she’ll ever get, possibly the last song Britney sings on alive and it still sounds like a third trimester abortion without anesthetics.

So this could be history in the making, but not the kind of history that doesn’t deserve to be called history because it is shit. I only made it 15 seconds through before realizing that that my dream for her to have one decent tune in her catalog didn’t come true. I can’t help it, I always root for the underdog. That’s why I am wasting my time talking to you….

To Listen To the Song
GO

Posted in:Britney Spears|Crap|Duet|Heid Montag

2008

03

Mar

Kate Hudson is in a Bikini of the Day

Kate Hudson never got arrested for attempt of murder for driving her boyfriend Owen Wilson to suicide. Everyone says he did it because she left him and he was in a coke rage, but based on these pictures, I think it’s safe to say he did it because he had sobered up and realized what the fuck he had been stickin’ his dick in all those months.

I guess he’s back on the drugs since they’re back together and it’s the only way he can get hard for her. She’s rumored to be knocked up again and based on her chin and her covering up in her sarong, I can only assume that’s true.

I guess when you look like Kate Hudson, you take all the load you can get, while you can get it….

Posted in:Bikini|Kate Hudson|Tits

2008

03

Mar

Ellen Page is a Lesbian on Saturday Night Live of the Day

I don’t watch Saturday Night Live because I don’t find it funny and because I don’t have a TV. Comedy sketches remind me of the weird Drama club in high school and the only thing those girls were good at was giving had jobs after convincing them that it will help them with their role in Romeo and Juliette. Knowing what a dick feels like makes the intensity of their performance more believable or some shit.

Either way, here’s lesbian Ellen Page doing a lesbian coming out of the closet skit on Saturday Night Live that didn’t make me laugh because there’s nothing funny about gay jokes, except when a group of homophobe frat boys get drunk and bust out the closet case jokes and make each other suck each other’s dicks or cum on crackers collectively while 5 of their buddies gangbang a cheerleader, because to a closet case, it’s not homo if there’s at least one vagina in the room.

I guess the lesson in this video is that if you don’t want a lesbian daughter, don’t name her Ellen.

Posted in:Ellen Page|Lesbian|Saturday Night Live

2008

03

Mar

Kristin Cavallari and Her Beater Want Attention of the Day

Here are some pictures of useless Kristin Cavallari posing for the paparazzi in a beater. She took off her shirt specifically for them to get pictures of her tits because I guess she thinks she’s got it going on, or maybe she had a huge spaghetti sauce stain on her shirt and didn’t want the embarrassment of being made fun of for being a slob, which would have probably been a good distraction from her just being a useless piece of shit who offers the world nothing, not even something to jerk off to….

I was at a bar this past weekend and saw a girl who walked around like she thought she was some kind of model or some shit. She was tall and looked as good as anyone famous. I told her boyfriend that I think I could make her famous if she had that talent and instead of dude jumping on board thinkin’ it was a great opportunity for him to get his girl out there, he thought I was implying that I get here suckin’ dick on camera or some shit. I guess no matter how sincere and wholesome I try to be in helping people out, they still think I’m a fuckin’ pervert and being a nice guy got me punched in the head which teaches us all a lesson, never be nice to anyone, they are just going to think you’re trying to proposition their hot girlfriend into doing porn.

Posted in:Beater|Kristin Cavallari

2008

03

Mar

Drew Barrymore and the Mac Guy on the Beach of the Day

These pictures hit the internet last week when my website was being hacked and I couldn’t update it, not that I would have, because I kinda hate all you fuckers for trying to bring me down, even if you didn’t have anything to do with it. I still feel like my English teacher who we all hated because she was a cunt and figured the best revenge we could get on her is convince the weird got chick before got existed to dump some chemical we stole in chemistry class into her cranberry juice. If you’re wondering why she was drinking cranberry juice, it was probably because she had a UTI from doin’ some ass to pussy fuckin’. The juice ended up having a chemical reaction with whatever the goth chick dumped in her drink and when the teacher went for a sip, she noticed it had turned green and chunky, so she didn’t drink it and reality is, I probably wouldn’t have let her. I am more into bitches on all fours naked then poisoned, call me crazy.

Speakin of all fours, here’s Drew Barrymore in a bikini, when she really should be wearing more clothes. Bitch has no business showing off her uneven tits and when I look at these pictures all I see is cunt and not the kind I like, more like the kind I would convince a goth girl to drop some mystery powder in her expensive cocktail, but that’s just because she annoys me and likes getting high. I guess the good news is that 2 people destined to die alone because everyone hates them because they are ugly, found each other and can now frolic in the surf so in love, like starring in their very own shitty love story no one cares to watch.

I guess the good news for you is that a Zach Braff muppet lookin’ mac guy can still get laid, because let’s face it, Drew Barrymore may not be hot but a lot of guys will still fuck her tattooed ass, while Mac Guy is just one ugly fucker who, like you spent most of his 20s not getting laid from anyone. These pictures bring hope….

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Drew Barrymore