I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

25

May

I am – Michelle Rodriguez is a Monkey of the Day

michelle_rodriguez_bikini3.jpg

After the success of the last Michelle Rodriguez Bikini picture post where I said she was a mexican monkey, I decided to prove to all you fucking assholes who said that I was a racist for calling her that even though she looked like she was in planet of the apes and that it was a pretty fucking obvious observation that I was right and that she is a fucking monkey.

Here are pictures that look like they were taken right out of National Geographic or some other jungle documentary on monkeys running around on trees, maybe it reminds you of the last time you went to the zoo but instead of the monkeys being actual monkeys, they are pictures of Michelle Rodriguez and she is in a bikini. So fuck you for doubting me…

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Rodriguez|Unsorted

2007

25

May

I am – Noemie Lenoir in a Bikini on the Beach at Cannes of the Day

noemie_lenoir_bikini_top.jpg

Who the fuck is Noemie Lenoir? Someone google that shit because I am too distracted chatting with guys pretending to be a 14 year old girl in some chat room trying to set up meetings in the park because I want to do my own stepOFFENDER feature and I figured that’d be a good place to start, then I realized that I may end up luring in one of you, because I think it’s safe to say, my readers are fucking strange.

I made friends with a girl who had a black on blonds fetish, I have seen these kinds of girls around, the blond chick on the arm of some thug. I just assumed that it was mainly strippers dating black dudes because of the whole stripper lifestyle being gangster. I have also seen the pretty obese looking white girls who are with black dudes, but I thought was just because black dudes are the only dudes with dicks big enough to get around their fat asses, so I always thought black on blond porn was designed for black dudes, but I never really stopped to think that black dudes aren’t on the internet, they are out and about doing black things like driving around in Escalades and standing on the street corner rapping to each other and that this porn is really designed for blond girls to get off to…how twisted is that….I am still convinced girls don’t watch porn….so it was like a revelation, if you’re wondering where the tie into the post is, this bitch’s name means “the black” in english and based on these pics I have no idea if she’s black or white, she’s all Michael Jacksoned and I am confused….

I do know that she’s got some major mound exposed…it’s all toe for you…

Posted in:Bikini|Cameltoe|Cannes|Noemi Lenoir|Unsorted

2007

25

May

I am – Britney Spears Bikini Pictures of the Day

britney_bikini_top.jpg

It’s nice to see that Britney Spears is working really hard on her comeback by taking time off and suntanning on a yacht because we all need our downtime sometimes. I guess her month in rehab and her 2 years prior to the whole rehab thing where she got married and did nothing with her life wasn’t enough fucking downtime for her. It makes me jealous that I am here slaving away at this site a couple hours a day, going out all night, waking up mid afternoon, going out the park for hours at a time to get away from the computer while people like Britney live the lazy life….

Either way it looks like Britney is wearing some kind of G-String, unfortunately for you I don’t have pictures of that, even though it may be a scarier thing to look at than it sounds. Like the other day, I was sending myspace messages to a model who told me that her vagina looks like a hamster because she hasn’t shaved in a while and as cute as I think hamsters are and as much as I think bush is cool in theory, I know if I ever saw it, I’d have a whole different reaction….but since I have no standards I’d still take one for the team…I’d just have second thoughts before doing it, even if just for a second….

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Candid|Unsorted

2007

25

May

I am – Lohan Stripping Videos of the Day

I am fucking late on posting and didn’t do a stepLINKS yesterday, I blame vodka. I had to be somewhere at 7 pm and couldn’t get the links up, I got back home at 7 am wasted and couldn’t get anything up because I was spent. I heard the best way to cure a cold is with mass amounts of vodka because it kills the germs, I am too hung over to know whether I still have a cold or not but I do know that it was good fucking times.

I know the early bird catches the bird, but I was up at the crack of dawn, and it didn’t really bring any major opportunity my way. I am pretty much late on every story I am going to post today and I am starting with the Lohan stripping scene from some movie she is in where she plays a stripper…a part she was made for….

I don’t really know what to think about the videos because I was too fucking lazy to watch them. I go to the strip club at least 3 times a week and there was a time in my life that I went to the strip club 3 times a day. It was about 6 years ago and it was a solid way to spend my shitty paychecks. I was never really into the lap dances because grabbing tits for 10 dollars reminds me of the fifth grade….

Either way Lohan is slutting it out in a movie, playing a stripper and I just can’t be bothered watching her suck at it, or even turn my favorite pastime into some over glamorized Hollywood plastic piece of shit.

But since my responsibility is to bring the goods to you, that’s just what I am going to do….at least bitch is trained to hit the brass pole when her career comes crashing down, but I am pretty sure before hitting the local stages she’ll get into porn or have a drug overdose or someshit. I may not be able to predict the exact outcome, but I know bitch won’t have a lasting career making mainstream movies….1:45

To check out the official site GO

Posted in:Lindsay Lohan|Stripper|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Paris Hilton’s Prison Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day

paris_hilton_prison_legs78.jpg

It seems like Paris and her hired photographer have gone on another spiritual outing to help her get through this dark time in her life…I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing hitting up a bookstore every fucking day considering she doesn’t know how to read and I don’t know why she’s bringing along the paparazzi with her, but I guess it’s good for business. I thought it was an attempt to get sympathy from the public, but sympathy from the public isn’t really going to save her from jail.

I am thinking that she maybe actually depressed and is finally doing a little soul searching, but I can’t see how a self absorbed cunt who places no importance on humanity, who makes no effort to make a difference with her celebrity and who is really just a waste of fucking space of a person, would actually want to change because of a prison sentence of 20 days and if she was on a quest to find her inner spiritual center or some shit, she probably wouldn’t do it with a hired photographer. So I call bullshit.

I can say that the only good thing that Paris has done for the world, is turned younger girls onto the fact that when they turn 18, sex tapes can make them famous, and that tied in with digital cameras being as accessible as they are and this whole internet as a distribution channel has brought on a whole new pleasure to my life….

I guess the other good thing that Paris has done for the world is showed younger girls that wearing no underwear gets you attention, so when I sit at the local coffee shop or on the park bench and I see local upskirt, nip slips and vag slips from girls in stupid party dresses midday, I can thank Paris for helping the world be more slutty….and I love sluts…

Either way, I am not falling for this Paris act, she’s sulking like a little spoiled brat who didn’t get the car in the color she wanted on her 16th birthday….maybe the sad face worked when she was 3 and daddy told her there was nothing they could do about her retardedly huge feet that all the kids made fun of but she’s a little too old for it now….

Posted in:Legs|Paris Hilton|Prison|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Paris Hilton's Prison Legs Buy Spiritual Books of the Day

paris_hilton_prison_legs78.jpg

It seems like Paris and her hired photographer have gone on another spiritual outing to help her get through this dark time in her life…I don’t know what the fuck she’s doing hitting up a bookstore every fucking day considering she doesn’t know how to read and I don’t know why she’s bringing along the paparazzi with her, but I guess it’s good for business. I thought it was an attempt to get sympathy from the public, but sympathy from the public isn’t really going to save her from jail.

I am thinking that she maybe actually depressed and is finally doing a little soul searching, but I can’t see how a self absorbed cunt who places no importance on humanity, who makes no effort to make a difference with her celebrity and who is really just a waste of fucking space of a person, would actually want to change because of a prison sentence of 20 days and if she was on a quest to find her inner spiritual center or some shit, she probably wouldn’t do it with a hired photographer. So I call bullshit.

I can say that the only good thing that Paris has done for the world, is turned younger girls onto the fact that when they turn 18, sex tapes can make them famous, and that tied in with digital cameras being as accessible as they are and this whole internet as a distribution channel has brought on a whole new pleasure to my life….

I guess the other good thing that Paris has done for the world is showed younger girls that wearing no underwear gets you attention, so when I sit at the local coffee shop or on the park bench and I see local upskirt, nip slips and vag slips from girls in stupid party dresses midday, I can thank Paris for helping the world be more slutty….and I love sluts…

Either way, I am not falling for this Paris act, she’s sulking like a little spoiled brat who didn’t get the car in the color she wanted on her 16th birthday….maybe the sad face worked when she was 3 and daddy told her there was nothing they could do about her retardedly huge feet that all the kids made fun of but she’s a little too old for it now….

Posted in:Legs|Paris Hilton|Prison|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Heidi Montag Bikini Pics of the Day

heidi_montag_bikini_7.jpg

So this is some bitch I’ve never really heard of because I am not really into the whole MTV thing since I don’t have cable, and even if I did have cable I would probably be watching Discovery to learn how things are built or TLC to watch the Baby Story show. It turns out that one of my friend’s from the park just found out his recent mail order bride is pregnant and that they will be having their first baby in 9 months from now. So I’d like to use this site to say congratulations and good fucking luck ever making it back to the park when you’re too busy changing diapers and shit. You life as it was is over, but that’s not a bad thing because drinking on a park bench with a bunch of losers isn’t really living anyway.

A congratulations goes out to this couple too because it turns out that this breast implanted Varsity Cheerleading Squad Captain lookin’ stripper and her boyfriend who looks like some dick named Blair who is the Varisty Tennis Team Captain just got engaged. It’s like one of those obnoxious blue blooded engagements you see in the movies where the Prom Queen and KIng live happily ever after or some shit. Lucky for us, this isn’t a movie, and the chances of him sticking it out with her are pretty fucking slim, because her fake tits or not she still looks like a horse….and tits are only a fun distraction when your ugly girlfriend gets them and for the first 6 months of her having them and then the novelty wears off.

It’s like when you got your first Nintendo you could really only handle Mario and Duck Hunt for so fucking long before you had to beat up and steal from the fat kid at school who was an only child and who had every game ever made because his parents felt guilty for not giving him a friend to play with and compensated by giving him toys….

Let’s hope that daddy goes bankrupt, boyfriend leaves her and that she can’t land work and is forced to turn to stripping because her fake tits were like a business expense that made her pretty qualified for the job..

Posted in:Bikini|Engaged|Heidi Montag|MTV|The Hills|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – Lohan Drunk at Some Party With Aoki of the Day

lohan_wasted_bananasplit2.jpg

I was sent this pictures from someone claiming they were of Lohan wasted Sunday night at LAX where she was drinking right out of the bottle with her lesbian cock Samantha Ronson . I am not 100 percent if these pictures were taken on Sunday night, because I can’t tell the fucking difference between all these Lohan partying pics it’s like it’s her fulltime job and she pretty much looks the same in all of them, which is not naked enough for me.

I used to go out drinking in bars every day of the week, you get caught up in it because you get drunk and drunk is fun and when you wake up the next day destroyed the only cure is to start drinking again. It comes to a point where you only feel normal when there is booze in your system and that can’t be a healthy thing.

I remember not being able to go to the post office or to a coffee shop without having had a drink because it takes the edge off, it took me at least 2 years of trying to pull of menial chores in public sober and I am not getting preachy here, I am just saying that this shit will catch up with Lohan in the next few years and bitch is going to be fucking damaged. She already looks like she’s in her mid 20s which may be a good thing when you get carded at clubs since she is underage, but when she is in her mid 20s she’s going to look 40…and her liver and vagina will be shot….

I’m just saying, I am not the healthiest fuck but if I could change anything about my life it would be that I took up jogging instead of hard drinking, even though it’d be a lot less fun for you assholes….but I’d be so jacked on endorphines, I wouldn’t give a fuck what you people think….

Posted in:Drunk|Hipster|Lindsay Lohan|Party|Unsorted

2007

24

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

picture-39.jpg

I am pretty fucking sick and that’s ok. I haven’t smoked a cigar in 3 days because of it and that’s not ok. I did drink a case of beer today and that was ok. I also met a mexican girl at a mexican restaurant who is in town for 5 months who was hot and that was ok. I didn’t see her naked and that wasn’t ok. I walked to the park and girls were in bikinis and that was ok. They got mad when they caught me staring and that was ok. I did my links in a drunken and sick stupor and I am sure they are ok. Tell your friends about the site because it would help me get traffic….

I also had all kinds of interesting things to write about in this post, but thanks to the alcohol, I can’t remember any of it. I am sure it will come back to me eventually. Cuddles.

Funny Urban Sport…Knock and Don’t Run
GO

Caprice Showing Some Tit in Some Crazy Dress
GO

Britney Out in Shorts and No Bra
GO

Nicole Richie Talks About the Male Erogenous Zones and Giving Rim Jobs and Fingering Ass Based on DJ AM’s Gay Adventure
GO

Asia Argento is a Lesbian
GO

Pam Anderson Panty Upskirt in Cannes
GO

The Hottest Sopranos Mistresses…
GO

Photobucket Big Boob Video
GO

Crazy Crackhead Blowjob – Very NSFW
GO

Last Night’s Party Peeing
GO

Britney Binger In June 2007 Playboy – Naked
GO

Photobucket Bra on the Outside Dance
GO

Rosie and The Bitch from Survivor Have a Massive Fight Cuz She Supports Bush…
GO

Then Alicia Silverstone Snubbed Her…AMAZING
GO

Some Scientologist Flips the Fuck Out
GO

Lame in the Club Big Tit Dance
GO

Amy Winehouse on the Set of her Video
GO

Hugh Hefner May Be a Dad Again
GO

Some Slut Named Gianna
GO

Jessica Simpson May Be Prengnat out of Wedlock, Bad Christian
GO

Hayden Panettiere is a Video Blogger and Looks Old
GO

Amazing Butter Prank 1
GO

Amazing Butter Prank 2
GO

Lohan’s Birthday is Sponsored By a Vodka Company
GO

Fat Guy Gets All The Laughs
GO

Nicole Richie is in Rehab
GO

Natalie Portman is Dating the Guy Who Wrote the Natalie Portman Rap
GO

Michael Moore’s New Movie Trailer
GO

Some Sarah Silverman Impersonator Dancing Video
GO

Victoria Beckham Goes to Sex Shop
GO

Alba Walks Dog WIth Hard Nipples
GO

Some Chick Named Sammie Rhodes Posing
GO

Gastric Bypass The Aftermath…
GO

Hot Tits…Well More of a Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Howard Stern Measures Catherine Bell’s TIts
GO

This is why people think bloggers are losers…
GO

Hot Photobucket Chick Posing and Showing a Little Nip
GO

Photobucket Chick Trying on a Bikini or Something Like That
GO

Nice Implants
GO

You need to learn how to attract women – This will work
GO

Posted in:Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

23

May

I am – Samaire Armstrong’s Gotta Be Knocked Up of the Day

samaire_armstrong_pregnant3.jpg

Samaire Armstrong is hiding her stomach like she just hit up the snack bar harder than her man banged her without a condom because people in Hollywood don’t use condoms even when they are on the lowest wrung of the fame ladder and their only real claim to fame was a stint on the OC that lasted a couple of episodes. That said, I am pretty sure that she’s preggers and decided to keep the baby, unlike her Hollywood counterparts who opt for the in home abortion, like Lohan since it is the most effective form of birth control…

Either way, I think it’s funny when people make their insecurities so obvious. I was walking down the street today and came across a woman in a white tank top with no bra and erect nipples. I wouldn’t have even noticed her, because when I leave my house I don’t really notice anything. But she kept trying to awkwardly cover her tits as much as she could as she talked to a woman, but ended up drawing more attention to her tits than she should have….which wasn’t a good thing, considering she was in her 60s, not that that would ever stop you.

Posted in:Pregnant|Samaire Armstrong|The OC|Unsorted