I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan’s Lesbian Cock of the Day

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So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Samantha Ronson is Lohan's Lesbian Cock of the Day

lohan_lesbian_cock4.jpg

So Lohan has been on a crazed party spree according to the media. Bitch has been caught doing blow on video. She’s been seen drinking vodka out of the bottle cuz that’s so fucking crazy. She’s been having really loud sex with models in hotel rooms and she’s not even 21 yet. It sounds to me like bitch is having a good fucking time and that this is better than any college frat party or Girls Gone Wild DVD. So I support the fall into Satan’s temptation….

I know I’d be doing the same thing if I had all kinds of money, which I don’t. I also know that no matter how fucking drunk, high, wasted, jacked, inebriated, or whatever the fuck you want to call it, I was, I would never fuck anything that looked like this fucking piece of trash bull dyke Samantha Ronson. I know that Lohan’s been rumored to be rockin’ this cunt like it was a dick and by the looks of her, it probably is a fucking dick or at least it was at one point in time. I was trying to make out whether she is a tranny by looking for an adam’s apple, but she’s conveniently wearing a fucking tie to cover it up like she was your dad on his way to a bank to get the approved for a loan to buy your family a new trailer home.

I know that this Ronson has a twin sister, and I happened to watch an episode of 20/20 last week about transgendered kids. One story was about a set of fraternal twins that were about 13 years old at the time. The dude twin decided that he was a girl when he was young and at the age of 2 dude tried to cut off his dick with a set of nail clippers and from that day on dressed like a girl and resented his sister for being a girl. The kid was all fucked up and angry and I have a feeling that story was actually some old footage about the Ronson twins….but I can’t be sure…

Either way, they have to have a rich dad who is industry, because this talentless cunt obviously has no business traveling the world with Lohan. Even if she is stuffing Lohan like a thanksgiving Turkey. I guess that’s what Wikipedia is for and rich or not, we’ve already established that all the money in the world will never make you a real woman. Sure you can get the expensive surgery, you can afford the hormone therapy, but motherfucker, we know you were born a man and that means you have the insides of a man and no straight dude will stick his dick in your artificially lubed plastic box knowing that, but you’re a good transitional person for straight girls looking for a lesbian experience without actually admitting that they are dykes and into chicks….I guess you already figured that out on your own. Slut.

Bonus – Here are some pics of Lohan Dancing for Her Lesbian Cock. She is Lookin’ A Little More Haggard than Usual. I Guess Her Cocaine Lifestyle is Taking Its Toll….

All Pics Via Cobrasnake, The

Posted in:DJ|Hipster|Lesbian|Lindsay Lohan|Samantha Ronson|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Bai Ling Nipple Slip of the Day

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My site is running like shit and I really don’t know why. I’d say that it was unfortunate but I think it’s all part of the charm of running a piece of shit. It’s like when you get into one of your friend’s shit box, sure it’d probably be easier to get pussy if you had a Porsche and sure, the Porsche would probably start everytime and the Porsche definitely wouldn’t break down on the fucking Highway everytime you go about 60, but something about it wouldn’t feel right. It’d feel like you didn’t belong in a Porsche, because all your life you were accustomed to taking the fucking bus. Point being that if this site was nice, flashy and worked, I don’t think it would be mine, because nothing in my life is flashy or works, including myself.

Speaking of not working, here are some pictures of Bai Ling’s Nipple Slip because that is pretty much all this bitch does. I’ve never seen her in any movies, on any TV shows, just on red carpets hanging her tit out and in Playboy once….That said, maybe nipple slips are a job because bitch is still getting invited to events where photographers take pictures and care enough to post them on the net and you’re not…

Posted in:Bai Ling|Cannes|Nipple Slip|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Eva Longoria Peepin’ Dance Pics of the Day

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This shit reminds me of voyeur porn. The kind that is usually staged but you like to think it isn’t, of girls taking showers or getting changed. I am not talking the voyeur porn where creeps go out with their cameras and try to sneak upskirts and shit because that kinda stuff is a little too stalker for me. I am more into stalking useless celebrities that everyone seems to care about, because at least they are getting paid to entertain me and aren’t some innocent girls walking up the stairs at the mall for people like you to snap shots of. I have morals….

Either way, this through the door Longoria dancing shit makes me laugh because there was a time that all I would look up was this kind of shit. Normally it would end with her giving the dude a blowjob or some shit, but bitch has an image to keep up or something.

Posted in:Dancing|Desperate Housewives|Eva Longoria|Unsorted

2007

22

May

I am – Eva Longoria Peepin' Dance Pics of the Day

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This shit reminds me of voyeur porn. The kind that is usually staged but you like to think it isn’t, of girls taking showers or getting changed. I am not talking the voyeur porn where creeps go out with their cameras and try to sneak upskirts and shit because that kinda stuff is a little too stalker for me. I am more into stalking useless celebrities that everyone seems to care about, because at least they are getting paid to entertain me and aren’t some innocent girls walking up the stairs at the mall for people like you to snap shots of. I have morals….

Either way, this through the door Longoria dancing shit makes me laugh because there was a time that all I would look up was this kind of shit. Normally it would end with her giving the dude a blowjob or some shit, but bitch has an image to keep up or something.

Posted in:Dancing|Desperate Housewives|Eva Longoria|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

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I don’t really know what to say other than that I didn’t leave my house all day. I guess that’s what drinking does to me. I was fucking wrecked all day, thinking I was going to die because I am pretty sure I smoked 4 cigars and inhaled every single one of them last night while wasted. Rumor has it that that isn’t good for you…..

I found out on Oprah that if I would gain an inch on my dick for every 35 lbs I lose…that would have been inspiring if my dick actually worked and I could take advantage of that news, instead, I am just going to keep eating french fries and pie….

Lastly, I am thinking about starting a weekly party in Montreal. Let me know if you come get drunk for Jesus Martinez if you were passing through. I wouldn’t actually go to my own night because I wouldn’t want to get shot or stabbed by people like this:

From: WILL4@HOUSTON.RR.COM
Subject: see you soon!
Date: May 21, 2007 1:42:04 AM EDT (CA)
To: info@drunkenstepfather.com

you will go to hell when you die! racist piece of shit! cracker ass faggot! i’ll be seeing you! if you know what i mean! remember, remember the 5th of june! see ya tuesday!

It was a holiday here today and families everywhere were having BBQ’s and enjoying the nice weather, we don’t have a backyard so my wife went over to my neighbor’s house to watch Star Trek movies because my neighbor is a virgin like you and I am hoping she ends up falling in love with him and leaving me, but we’ll see it was just their first or second date and I am sure dude hasn’t pulled his dick out yet…

On that note, here are my links…CUDDLES….

Insane woman fakes hit and run
GO

No love for Jodie Marsh
GO

Lohan drinks straight from the bottle –
GO

Washed up Janice Dickenson pussy
GO

Megan Fox sunbathing VIdeo
GO

Convenient store owner ties robber up with garbage bags
GO

Lohan at Chanel fashion show
GO

Looking good sweetheart
GO

Pete Doherty before heroin
GO

Win Clay Aiken’s clothes, cause that’s such a prize –
GO

College party girls making out
GO

Lohan steals from a friend –
GO

Cam girl dances to heavy metal
GO

Asian School Girls –
GO

LNP Last Night’s Lesbian Moment
GO

Prague girl can’t afford underwear –
GO

Rock ‘n’ roll refugees, heavy metal in Baghdad –
GO

Detailed jack off gesture
GO

Awkward falling pole dancer
GO

World record squirter
GO

Fun in the park with Yana –
GO

Lohan’s baby rat music video –
GO

Vote for bastardly’s sexiest woman of 2007 –
GO

Lohan Behind the Scenes Photoshoot VIdeo
GO

Kelly Osbourne looking fatter than ever
GO

Woman farts in yoga
GO

Calum Best Describes Sex with Lohan
GO

Interview With Some Reality TV Show Fitness Guy named Jesse Brune
GO

Sarah Connor Camel Toe
GO

Michael Jackson’s Stuff Going on Auction Sneak Peak
GO

Guide to Sexy Swimwear
GO

Catherine Bell’s Big Tits Have a New Show
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lookin Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Water Cooler Video
GO

Beyonce Topless For New Album
GO

Weird Asian Picture
GO

Jessica Simpson’s Breasts in Cannes
GO

Some Internet Predator’s Webcam Show
GO

Crazy Gay Latvian Video
GO

Use This o Get Laid….
GO

Photo Bucket Posing
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Eva Longoria’s Ass Plays Volleyball For Charity of the Day

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Eva Longoria is one of those socially conscious celebrities who goes to charity events out of the kindness of her heart and not for publicity because she cares about the world and using her “reach” as a celebrity to make a difference, so who am I to not post the pictures of the event where she played some charity volleyball to bring awareness to whatever the fuck the cause is while showing off her ass.

I am hungover and can barely focus on the screen, so I see is her ass and even though that is the real reason I am posting these, I do think she should be an example to other celebrities on how to make a difference in the world, while still showing her ass.

I guess what it all comes down to is that I am a charitable cause that people should start donating to….

Posted in:Ass|Charity|Eva Longoria|Sports|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Eva Longoria's Ass Plays Volleyball For Charity of the Day

eva_longoria_volley_ass.jpg

Eva Longoria is one of those socially conscious celebrities who goes to charity events out of the kindness of her heart and not for publicity because she cares about the world and using her “reach” as a celebrity to make a difference, so who am I to not post the pictures of the event where she played some charity volleyball to bring awareness to whatever the fuck the cause is while showing off her ass.

I am hungover and can barely focus on the screen, so I see is her ass and even though that is the real reason I am posting these, I do think she should be an example to other celebrities on how to make a difference in the world, while still showing her ass.

I guess what it all comes down to is that I am a charitable cause that people should start donating to….

Posted in:Ass|Charity|Eva Longoria|Sports|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Britney Parties in a Bikini of the Day

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Britney performed in Florida and I read somewhere that her CD she was lip syncing to skipped and she turned her back to the crowd and re-cooped. It’s not all that much of a surprise, her entire career has been built on lip syncing and people aren’t watching her perform to listen to her amazing songs, they are listening because she was a young tight thing who moved better than most strippers because she had a choreographer and budget. It was like a big scale stage show without the nipples/vagina shots/lap dances/ signed posters/ etc.

Here are some pics of Britney wearing a bikini at a club, partying after her show in Florida.

I could probably write more and actually try to change your life, but I am uninspired….

Posted in:Bikini|Britney Spears|Drunk|Party|Uncategorized|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – stepINTERVIEW with Rachel Style of the Day

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So I was on myspace, even though those fuckers banned and deleted my profile and came across some actress who was recently on that hit show Ugly Betty. Since I am an opportunist, I decided to message her asking for an interview and to my surprise, she pulled through. I sent her a few questions, she pretended she knew the site and got her personal assitant to answer the questions. Either way, I am pretty fucking grateful, I am used to being told to fuck off and this Rachel Style dreamboat went along with it and that makes her fucking amazing in my eyes, which isn’t saying much becaue I have no standards.

Either way, Here is the interview:

Do you think you’re Ugly?

Well Jesus, it’s like this…put me next to Petra Nemcova and I think we both know who would win the Ugly Contest. But put me next to Kathy Griffin and well…oh nevermind. How about the old saying “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder?”

What makes a person Ugly?

I think people who are mad at the world and walk around all pissed off tend to look ugly, even if they happen to be very physically attractive in a traditional way. Jealousy can make people look ugly, too. Like remember Faith Hill when Carrie Underwood won that Grammy instead of her? Yikes. Of course, excessive plastic surgery is another way of ruining ones looks.

Do you think there is a place in the world for Ugly People?

Of course! Haven’t you heard of it? It’s called New Jersey. 😉

Do you think Ugly people should have the right to be on TV?

I think with reality tv and all, everyone gets to be on tv these days. Sometimes the uglier the better. Maybe it’s because people like to route for the underdog. Or maybe it’s just that if you see a truly hideous person on tv, you feel better about yourself.

Do you think that hollywood’s version of ugly, is really like average in real life because I’ve seen ugly and I have slept with ugly and I don’t think my kind of ugly will ever be allowed on TV. I don’t even think my kind of ugly is allowed into some public places….so this whole Ugly Betty thing is bullshit and should be called Average Betty, right?

You know what..I have to agree with you on this one and say that most “Ugly” people on tv are in fact, not that ugly in real life. It’s weird, huh?

People seem to find the idea of someone ugly in a “beautiful people” type world amusing. I’m fat and ugly and impotent and my wife is obese and pretty fucking busted… How is that fucking funny?

Well maybe if they cast you in a reality show and then you got famous and made lots of money making product endorsements for various surgical procedures…then you might be laughing all the way to the bank.

You played the role of Betty’s best friend. Since we all know that girls who are best friends constantly make out with each other behind closed doors, did you feel Betty’s on the inside, if you know what I mean?

Well, I didn’t get to make out with Betty but I’m sure I would be a lot more well-known by now if I had. Like look at that girl who made out with whats-her-name on the OC…she works all the time now! Coincidence? I think not…

Playing the supporting actress to someone who has now become a big star must be a pain in the ass. Has America Ferrera turned into a big bitch of a diva, and forgotten all the little people?

Oh my God, not at all! In fact, she went out of her way to be really nice to me. Being the lead in a hit show is a lot of work and a tremendous amount of pressure and it was amazing to see how cool and down-to-earth she was. The total opposite of diva! She is my hero.

You have to admit having a show based on ugly people is a stupid idea…do you think it’s just to make people feel better about themselves so we can all laugh at overpaid people because they are playing ugly people and not feel guilty
about it – right?

Hmmm..that’s a confusing question! But I think the show celebrates people’s beauty..inside and out and does poke fun at shallow people. But it does it in a light-hearted way.

You do know that the only way to have some staying power in this business is to show some skin, right?

Exactly. I’m hoping that Maxim magazine will finally offer me a cover after this interview comes out. You know there are some guys who think nerdy girls are really hot!

My wife thinks she looks good and sometimes dresses up in lingerie and shit. How can I tell her nicely that she just needs to accept that shes an ugly, dried up whore that I will never buy viagra to bang, like Betty seems to?

I think your life will probably be a lot less painful if you tell her how beautiful she is everyday.

They say that sleeping with producers is the only way to get ahead in this business. Can you tell our readers, in extensive detail, about your first lesbian experience with Salma Hayek, producer of Ugly Betty. How many times did you have to go down on her before she gave you the part? Was she pregnant at the time of this?

Very funny. Unfortunately, I never met Salma as part of the casting process.

I actually emailed Salma Hayek years ago offering to be her stud and father her first born child. Not long ago, she announced that some old rich dude had shot her up with his millionaire sperm. I’m thinking of contacting a lawyer and explaining that since it was my idea first, I may technically be entitled to the rights to that pregnancy, and possibly the child itself. I mean, I do have it in writing, you know? Do you think I have a case?

I can understand why you would be jealous of the father of her baby. Maybe you could offer to be the child’s manny! Britney seemed to really love her manny…at least for a while.

On that note, working with Salma Hayek must be an incredible experience. And by incredible, I mean you must feel really blessed that you get to stare at her rack all day long. They’re real right?

I bet you would like to hear about that but again, I didn’t get to meet or hang out with Salma when I worked on the show. That’s the real reason you interviewed me, isn’t it?

What do you have to say to your many, many fans reading on drunkenstepfather.com? What can we expect from you in the months to come?

Well, being so famous can be overwhelming…I can’t even leave my house some days because of the screaming legions of fans and scores of paparazzi camped outside all the time. But seriously, I would like to thank all 3 of your readers. They make it all worth it, you know? As for the future…well, I just had an audition to play a 300 pound girl on Entourage…I ate nothing but cheeseburgers all week to prepare for the audition. I think they liked me, so we’ll see!

Do you think pretty people can be ugly and ugly people can be pretty, I am thinking Paris Hilton is ugly, but people think she’s hot and someone like Angelina Jolie is hot, but adopts aids babies and that’s pretty ugly…any thoughts?

Yeah, I know what you mean. But Angelina’s baby doesn’t have AIDS and Paris is only Ugly when she’s standing next to Kathy Griffin.

Cheers! XOXO

For more hot, nerdy pics check out actress Rachel Style at myspace.com/rachelstyle

Posted in:stepEXCLUSIVE|stepINTERVIEW