DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2007

21

May

I am – DJ AM is Gayer than Bicycle Shorts of the Day

I emailed DJ AM a while ago because I heard he was playing in Montreal. He never emailed me back. I asked him for guestlist because I figured we were friends, you know with me always speaking so highly of him and shit, but I was wrong. The motherfucker never emailed me back, he never put me on the list and I was forced to go through one of my stepdaughter’s friends to get in because DJ AM is a fucking cocksucker.

I got to the event and it was filled with so many fucking chachi pieces of shit. I felt like it was a Diesel Jeans sample sale and every Italian and his cousin came out to get a deal. AM came in with 4 bodyguards because he feels like he is more important than he really is and this is a video of him and one of his boyfriends trying to fix his DJ set up. I knew when I saw them that their relationship consisted of more than just fixing DJ equipment but this was as close as I got to the asshole giving the dude with the flashlight a rim job…

I left after 10 minutes because there is only so much overpaid Bar Mitvah DJing that I can handle and I heard dude made 6,000 dollars to play for all these fucking losers, and that probably means that this fucker is overpaid and that even though this video won’t make me 6,000 dollars, at least I go to bed knowing that I didn’t get to the top by sticking my lame penis up in Nicole Richie’s 90 pound cooch, not that I wouldn’t, but I just didn’t.

I may be drunk and this may be a drunk edit, but I think if you focus on the video, you can tell that DJ AM is a popstar that is Gayer than Bicycle shorts. The way this cocksucker handles his vinyl will make any queer dream of him diddling their anus….That means you….Homo… Cuddles…

PS – DJ AM, Next Time You Should Put Me On the Guestlist. Asshole.

2007

21

May

I am – Posh Spice Has a Huge Hard Nipple of the Day

6 Comments »

Victoria Beckham has really big nipples and since I am a pervert I figure I should post them. I once knew a girl with inverted nipples and that shit freaked me out. The whole time I was banging her, I dreamt about real nipples like this and I think that bitch tarnished me for life, making me drawn to this kind of thing, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I met a girl this weekend who I told I wasn’t interested in meeting because I don’t like knowing people and she told me that we had met before about 5 years ago and I made fun of her shoes. She remembered me from 2002 and has hated me since so I learned a little lesson about consequences and how one drunken night can change a person’s opinion of you and make them hold a grudge against you for many fucking years.l I saw that movie with Adam Sandler, where the dude from highschool was putting on lipstick plotting against those who wronged him and I always thought that I was that guy. It turns out that I was completely wrong, like Beckham’s plastic surgeon who accidentally put a penis up on her tits, but that doesn’t mean you should be a dick to people, because I think your legacy should be a nice one. People should remember you as the guy who everyone liked and not the guy who ripped everyone a new assholes. The point of the story is that you want to be Posh Spice’s nipples before the surgery, you don’t want to be the bi-product that people like me get off to. There’s a lesson in everything. Just call me the professor….

To see Posh Spice Covering Her Nipples With Pasties
GO

Posted in:Nipples|Posh Spice|Unsorted|Victoria Beckham

2007

21

May

I am – Michelle Marsh in a Bikini for Miss Britain of the Day

4 Comments »

I have no idea who all these UK chick are, but I do know that they are sluttier than American girls and I am not too sure why. My whole life I was told that girls in the UK are fucking busted like an old pick up truck that I couldn’t afford if I tired because I am a hurtbag, but it seems like I am wrong.

I am wasted right now and I fucking hate when people say shit like “I am so fucked up” or “I am so drunk” or whatever people say when they party too hard. I know that no one really gives a fuck about how much I drank or what I did but the alcohol is fucking up my ability to say anything worth reading. My shirt is wet because some Cha Chi spilled his corona on me….and that is going to smell soon because I don’t wash my clothes…

I guess what it comes down to, is that even when I am sober, my stories really aren’t all that interesting, but at least I am capable of channeling that shit onto the website for the 3 of you who actually read what I write.

As I do some serious soul searching, I will just throw these up for you to think about how badly you fucked up in life, because we both know you aren’t going to bed everynight with girls that look like this. That’s all I have to say about that. I feel like I am Forrest fucking Gump. Just a little fatter because I have no interest in running around the country but I will say that my cigar is fucking sexy and my best friend right now. LOVE…

Posted in:Bikini|Michelle Marsh|Miss Britain|Unsorted

2007

21

May

I am – Pam Anderson In a Bikini of the Day

45 Comments »

I don’t know when these are from, but someone emailed them to me and since I am too lazy to look shit up I am pretty much forced to post them. She looks better than usual and that’s not really saying much, because bitch is so haggard, these could be pictures of her taking a shit and they’d look better than most of the recent shit I’ve sen of her.

For the record, I don’t think girls taking a shit is that big of a deal. I remember when I was a punk teenager and would pretend that girls didn’t shit and I always had a good time hanging out with girls who would have debates with me trying to prove that they have never taken a shit and I used to fall for it and believe them. Next thing you know my face is all jammed in their asses in hopes of giving it to them. Unfortunately, I met a lot of girls who thought being one of the guys was cool and they’d talk about shit and they’d fart and they ruined the fantasy. Since then, I have come to terms with it and realize that women are people too…

That said, I tried to pull the same mind games on Pam Anderson. You know trying to convince myself that she isn’t getting older, that she didn’t have 10 kids, that she wasn’t made of plastic and that she came out of her mother’s box lookin’ like the slut we’ve all jerked off to, but realize that old, diseased and plastic is a lot better than anything I’ve seen recently and that is why I am posting these pics. Cuddles…

More Pics Can be Found Here
GO

Posted in:Bikini|Pamela Anderson|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – stepLINKS of the Day

1 Comment »

I think my computer is broken because it turns off on it’s own, which may be a good thing because I am too lazy to turn it off myself. It’s like telling me to stop fucking touching it and that is a feeling I am used to, because every girl I ever got with, even when paying them, would usually tell me to stop touching them. I didn’t like that stop me from doing my links though, it just took my hours instead of the 3-7 minutes it usually takes me. That’s how hard I work for you….

It is a long weekend in Canada and DJ AM is playing at some LAME fucking club here, I heard it on the radio. My goal is to get into that party for free and give him a shirt that says “GAYER THAN BICYCLE SHORTS” in hopes that he will take a picture for the site. I am a 15 year old girl like that. Reality is that I will probably not end up going because leaving my shithole apartment kinda scares me.

Here are my links…

Insane 14 Year Old Likes Sex
GO

Britney’s Got Some Fucked Up Hair and Takes Laxatives Because She Does Heroin
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Amy Winehouse gets Married and Wears and Bikini TOp
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Myleen Klass Bikini Pictures
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101 Hottest Tattooed Women in the World
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Nicole Kidman Naked in her New Movie
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Hollywood’s Hottest Moms
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Ana Beatriz Barros Does H+M Catalog in a Bikini
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Amateur Sex in Front of the Mirror
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John Stamos has a Freakishly Weird Belly Button
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Free Paris on your Chest
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Mischa Barton’s Early Years..
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A Band Called Placebo Called Out to their Fans to Make Videos of them Singing Their New Song, They Put it All Together and This is The New Video
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This is the New Bionic Woman
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Nude Dating SHow
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Amazing Condom Ad
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Vagina Art..
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Bai Ling Wears a White Bikini in Cannes
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Big Photobucket Tits
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Rapper Cam’ron Video Response to some Hip Hop Drama
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Peruvian Mayor Candidate Attacks TV Host
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Vintage Vibrator
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The Mangina that Scared Me
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Advice For Paris Hilton From a Whore
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Celebrities Giving the Finger but not the kind of Finger I Like
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Rugby Team Checking Their Balls for Testicular Cancer
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Sexy Soccer Video
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How an Idiot Removes a Loose Tooth
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Hot Candid Pics of Chicks Out and About
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The Hottest Whores in Horror
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Paris Hilton Drops her Appeal and Goes to Jail for 23 Days – Amazing…
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Britney Spears has Hard NIpples
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Photobucket Lesbian Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Posing
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Asian Chick in Virgin Gorda in a Bikini, Travel Videos are my New Porn
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Sung Hi Lee is Naked and Asian
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Nancy Odell is a MBILF and Want Ill Mitch Video at the Bottom of Page…
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Watch Howard the Duck Movie
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Depressing but Funny Tattoo
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Photobucket Ass
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Lame Teddy Bear Sex
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Last Night’s Party Does Big Tits
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She Hates Cum on her Face
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Fake Drugged Up Asian Sex That Looks Kinda Real To Me
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Sex in the Changing Room – NSFW
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Ryan Seacrest Ruined American Idol This Week
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Use this to get pussy
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard’s Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Sophie Howard's Selfshot Topless Pics of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some candid topless selfshot pics of Sophie Howard, some slut from the UK.

I am not really sure when these hit the internet, it’s probably been a while, but that’s ok because I am still going to post them, that’s how committed I am to this shit. It’s Friday and I figure that since you won’t be getting any tits over the weekend, this will be an online substitute for you to jerk off to, and I love thinking about dudes jerking off to my writing. Reality is, if you can get off to a set of tits, you’re probably 12 years old and shouldn’t be looking at boobies on the internet, that’s what National Geographic and late night cable is for….

I am pretty happy digital cameras were invented, they have allowed every single girl who owns one to take nude pics. For the most part they get deleted or only sent to the lucky few who end up posting them on message boards for people like me, who don’t talk to anyone outside the computer, to look at….making the internet a creepy place that I call home.

These may not be leaked pics cuz she’s wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there’s photo equipment behind her, but it’s good enough.

Thanks ZINI LOVE

Posted in:Selfshot|Sophie Howard|Tits|Topless|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Mischa Barton Tit Slip of the Day

116 Comments »

So someone emailed these pictures of Mischa Barton’s tit falling out of her dress and I figured it would be worth posting, not because I think it’s hot, but because this site is all about changing the world one nipple slip at the time and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a celebrity slip as good as this one, not because I think Mischa’s tit is good but because if you’re going to show the world your tit, this is how you do it.

I don’t really know why I bother with the site, I find the whole concept of posting celebrity chicks really fucking lame, I’d love to do something more substantial so that people call me a revolutionary or some shit, but I don’t think that will ever happen, what will happen is that every girl who comes to the site will think I am a virgin who’s never seen a vagina in real life or some kind of fag who is obsessed with Britney Spears and celebrity gossip, I will never reach out to the cool kids or the hot chicks. I want to make this shit rock and roll, but I think I am stuck in the popstar trap…

That said, I kinda feel bad for this girl. She never really got her shit together after her hottest role as the girls who was throwing up under the bed in The Sixth Sense for Haley Joel Osmond…it’s all been downhill since.

Posted in:Mischa Barton|Nipple Slip|Tit|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova’s See-Through Ass Dress of the Day

1 Comment »

Here are some pictures of your favorite model wearing a dress that shows off her ass proper. I’d be happier if it was a piece of saran wrap or some shit so that I wouldn’t have to look at this motherfucking thing all crossed eye trying to make out her pussy from behind, but it’s a step in the write fucking direction.

My last strippers story for the night is about the Portuguese chick who had a big ass, but not the kind of big ass you want to see, even though bitch had every fucking ass dance move down proper. Seeing her slapping her flat wide cheeks together was like watching an anorexic girl trying to lick her own nipple. I don’t really know where i am going with this, but
I do know that every dude in the place started freaking out, making me think that dudes in stripclubs are fags trying to prove to themselves that they aren’t into man ass, or dudes who haven’t seen pussy in so long every pussy is good enough, or maybe it’s because they are married and so tired of seeing their wife naked that lookin’ at a tupperwear dish of leftovers is more appealing to fuck, but what the fuck do I know, I just write this shitty website. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|See Through|Unsorted

2007

18

May

I am – Karolina Kurkova's See-Through Ass Dress of the Day

No Comments »

Here are some pictures of your favorite model wearing a dress that shows off her ass proper. I’d be happier if it was a piece of saran wrap or some shit so that I wouldn’t have to look at this motherfucking thing all crossed eye trying to make out her pussy from behind, but it’s a step in the write fucking direction.

My last strippers story for the night is about the Portuguese chick who had a big ass, but not the kind of big ass you want to see, even though bitch had every fucking ass dance move down proper. Seeing her slapping her flat wide cheeks together was like watching an anorexic girl trying to lick her own nipple. I don’t really know where i am going with this, but
I do know that every dude in the place started freaking out, making me think that dudes in stripclubs are fags trying to prove to themselves that they aren’t into man ass, or dudes who haven’t seen pussy in so long every pussy is good enough, or maybe it’s because they are married and so tired of seeing their wife naked that lookin’ at a tupperwear dish of leftovers is more appealing to fuck, but what the fuck do I know, I just write this shitty website. Cuddles.

Posted in:Ass|Karolina Kurkova|See Through|Unsorted