DrunkenStepFather.com - I'll Make You Famous…

2021

28

Apr

Rebel Wilson’s Lingerie Shots of the Day

I can’t confirm that this is Rebel Wilson, also known as Fat Amy the 45 year old pretending to be a 30 year old from Australia because nothing on the TV is real, it’s all contrived shit to manipulate your mind…

I can confirm that it’s a chubby girl in lingerie showing off her body like it isn’t chubby because it was probably a hell of a lot fatter before and this is the skinniest it has ever been….which corresponds with Fat Amy’s weight loss story….

I would never go so far as to say that Fat Amy is hot, she’s a 45 year old woman too big for the lingerie she’s in, at least in the gut….BUT I will say that I am all for fat chicks doing what it takes to become skinny chicks..it’s healthier and it is HOTTER…and more people should be doing it….

If it is Rebel Wilson, she’s probably considered A-Lister, I mean you know she gets paid big for her movies….so she could have totally just been a fat fuck like other fat fucks and played or pretended she was empowered by being an unhealthy pile of shit…but unlike other fat slackers trying to brainwash kids into being fat…she knew that real empowerment comes from taking your life by the balls, or in her case, by the folds and deciding to get fit and strong…it will make you feel better….or at least good enough to wear bikinis and lingerie in public…something that probably used to come with a lot of shame and disgust from all involved…except maybe the FAT FESTISHISTS who are normally skinny dudes who work at Best Buy and live with their moms…like the OVERLY skinny guys who dislocate their shoulders when lifting their arms up cuz of no musculature…you know the kind of guy who looks like he could fit his entire body in the fat bitch he’s with as you assume they met on some Second Life style online nerd community….because they did..

ANYWAY…what I am trying to say is that I will always endorse this route of fat getting skinnier even if fat doesn’t get THAT skinny…it’s still better than fat…and for that, I suggest you jerk off to Fat Amy since she’s less fat, to encourage her to keep up the good fight against fat, like EVERY fat person should do….and look…you can still keep the tits…which is the only perk of being fat anyway….

Posted in:Rebel Wilson

2021

28

Apr

Weed Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

Weed….the proof that the government only cares about money because if they didn’t care about money they would have kept it legal…and they decided not to keep it legal because they knew it was too easy to grow organically and unprocessed because it’s this plant that grows and you pick the bud off of and smoke…and that’s about the extent of production needed to get high…and they CAN’T HAVE that…imagine all the big pharma earnings dwindling when people realize that weed helps them sleep, helps them deal with pain, helps them relax, helps them live their best life, while having fun…you know forgetting your trauma for a few minutes….with the most mild high ever…

NOT THAT I AM A WEED HEAD…I just think it’s idiotic that weed was ever made illegal, it makes zero fucking sense, which I guess is all the sense society needs cuz we’re morons who allow this..

Now, it may be legalized in the USA soon, a good move in the right direction, but these girls aren’t waiting to be WEED INFLUENCERS who get naked, it’s a billion dollar industry and they may not have what it takes to be models, but they could have what it takes to be WEEED models and I am sure that’s exciting….

(more…)

Posted in:Weed

2021

28

Apr

Tinashe Ass of the Day

No Comments »

Tinashe is one of those people I know I’ve done posts on in the past because there’s no way that at 28 the Child Star has not done something slutty enough for me to notice, but just not consistent enough for me to remember who she is…and you can interpret that as a racist thing if you want…that’s your right…but it has nothing to do with race or color or anything besides the fact that she’s just not enough of a whore for me to have her imprinted on my mind like all the other whores I barely know of, but still know who they are…Like Dua Lipa, Bella Thorne, Jordyn Jones, there’s a bunch of trending sluts and TINASHE isn’t one of them…

She’s got a Black Belt in Taekwondo, so maybe a fight with one of the Youtube Brothers is in the works….or maybe she still makes music, or acts, or models, or does whatever the fuck a Tinashe would do…..I’m just here for the butt shot.

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Tinashe

2021

28

Apr

Miranda Kerr Fucks the Couch Like It Was a Billionaire of the Day

No Comments »

I actually forgot that Miranda Kerr existed, but when I saw these pics of her laying on a couch, pussy down, ass up, I thought of those girls on reddit who hump pillows because it’s a thing….but also that she was fucking this couch like it was one of her billionaires…you know cuz she’s been knocked up at least once, maybe twice from the Snap founder and billionaire, who likely thought she was the hottest Victoria’s Secret model of her era, so he bought her.

It was a while ago, but when you’re getting fucked into pregnancy from a billionaire, you don’t need to do brand deals, even with brands who created you….you just fuck the billionaire….and now she’s here fucking the couch…as a reminder that she’s won…..I mean he wasn’t even her first billionaire penis and he may not be the last because when you’re in the scene…you don’t interact with non billionaires…it’s an exclusive club they only let SOME women into….if they pass all the billionaire tests…in their billionaire penis scavenger hunt, obstacle course, initiation process.

What I am trying to say is that she’s still looking good, having access to billions of dollars helps that.

Posted in:Miranda Kerr

2021

28

Apr

Maddie Ziegler See Through Pants of the Day

No Comments »

Maddie Ziegler is another one of these Child Dancers from a Child Reality Show about Children Dancing, often totally inappropriate, but since it’s just dance, it’s ok, cuz obviously no freaks into that shit watch that shit on fucking repeat day in and day out, you could probably google her most viewed clips and see what they are….and decide for yourself whether the people watching are OTHER KIDS….MOMS or fucking perverts…since it’s the internet, I’ll go with “it’s probably the perverts”…

Luckily for Ziegler, one of those perverts was SIA who cast her in all her music videos, where she was the underage dancer in a leotard for at least one hit song, that I am sure also appealed to the worst fucking kind of people…but it’s a music video for a popular song…no one jerks off to those….says the guy who remembers X-Tina’s Dirty, Milian’s Dip it Lo, Cher’s lingerie on a Air Craft Carrier, Madonna….Spice Girls with Scary Spice’s Hard Nipples…I mean…perverts jerk off to music videos…

Anyway, she’s 18 now and as predicted when I saw she turned 18, she’s posing like an influencer in less and less clothing, cuz that’s just what the generation is into, and I guess when you’ve been sold off to an industry, you’re used to it…so check out that dance body and remember that dancers by default are fit, have stamina, know how to control their body, which is oftentimes a bigger selling point than just being hot…cuz so many hot girls that lack those things just fucking STARFISH when they fuck and for a fat guy, with no stamina, that’s dangerous cuz they expect you to do the work…

NOT THAT YOU SHOULD SEXUALIZE AN 18 YEAR OLD WHEN SHE SEXUALIZES HERSELF….right….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Maddie Ziegler

2021

28

Apr

Pussy Wedgie Wednesday of the Day

No Comments »

It’s hard to not appreciate a girl who pulls her pants up into her vagina before leaving the house because it’s a trend…like cleavage or going braless before it…the pulling of tight pants into cunt intentionally to show people how fat and hungry your cunt can be…you know the let us know if they are the Ashley Graham, Roseanne Bar, Fat Chick on This is Us kind of pussy or not…and knowing is half the battle, or knowing what a pussy you’ll never fuck because it’s in line at the grocery store in front of you and is likely married and creeped out by you….is the important level of narcissism and exhibitionism we need….you know so self involved they don’t even care that some fucking slimy fuck like me can basically see her clit…because they just want everyone to see their clit…it’s fascinating and amazing….because I remember a time when you’d have to negotiate with girls to pull their bikinis, panties, pants into their vaginas, and it usually didn’t go over well when doing it on public transit, outside colleges, in bars and restuarants….even strippers would get mad…but here it is just being handed to us with no effort….what a world…seriously…how can you be mad when we live in a world where girls pull pants into their cunts for strangers they wouldn’t give the time of day to…but rather be grossed out by… to see their cunts…brilliant.

(more…)

Posted in:Pussy Wedgie

2021

28

Apr

Julianne Hough Wet Bikini of the Day

No Comments »

Avid Drinker and “Mormon who was” before trading in the Mormon “cult” for the Hollywood Cult, if you consider having anal sex with Ryan Seacrest, we’re not sure who the TOP was, but we know it happened, Julianne Hough, is in her bikini…

I figure Hollywood likes the religious people who turn their backs on their family and faith, you know the runaways, because they are easier to mold….but I don’t know anything about Hough and her potentially incestuous backstory that involves them moving to the UK for 5 years to train as a dancer before moving back to America to become Dancing with the Stars stars….not to mention religious people who have turned their back on their faith are easy to manipulate, you know cuz they’ve grown up blindly putting faith into their church, only to say it was all a lie, leaving them empty shells…which in Hough’s case worked out alright cuz her shell has a hot dancer body…

Her dad, who I googled, cuz Father’s Day…is some GOP republican with 10 kids and 20 grandkids, you know still committed to the Mormon dreams….and he must be proud that his daughter is so successful at being jerked off to…and potentially on…by the likes of Ryan Seacrest, I mean he’s one of the biggest hosts out there, what Mormon wouldn’t want their daughter having unprotected out of wedlock sex with him….right?

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Julianne Hough

2021

28

Apr

Madelaine Petsch Crop Top of the Day

No Comments »

Riverdale may be a piece of shit show according to me, which isn’t saying much because I hate everything, and it’s not because I think I can do better, because if I thought I could do better, I doubt I’d be writing a shitty blog no one reads that has no advertisers for most of my days….I’d aim higher…instead of just doing this….but just because I can’t put together a show as popular despite being terrible, doesn’t mean I have to think the show is good..

I hate it for the confusing storyline, shitty writing, lack of effort and the casting…but the one thing, the ONLY thing that it’s done for me, other thank give me know hope in the ability to have critical thought as a millennial who HAS got to be watching the shit while scrolling IG, or producing nudes for their ONLYfans…you know there for the visuals that they barely follow along to the story of….content consumption of an A.D.D. generation of half wit idiots…

But yeah, the one good thing the show has done is introduce us to this hot bodied South African who despite being white South African, at least culturally, which is rumored to be the most racist country with ties to slavery…she hasn’t been cancelled…so we can stare at her hot fit body…and her DAD doesn’t look so bad, he’s some surfer hippie who ended up in the Pacific North West after being a banking exec, only to launch a system to convert pools to less chemicals and to be more sustainable back in the 90s…

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Madelaine Petsch

2021

28

Apr

Workout Wednesdays of the Day

No Comments »

You may not know this but it’s true, working out and eating well will help you survive COVID…being a fat fuck with a shitty diet will work against you when it comes to COVID..not that everything is about COVID…or that COVID is even the biggest RISK out there for the people…there are other things like Diabetes, Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure, Cancer, uncomfortable pants, uncomfortable chairs, challenges standing up or walking up stairs…that all come from being a fat, lazy, unhealthy, shitty food eating fuck…

So use these girls, who are into fitness, to motivate you, to get into fitness, or at least to start conditioning yourself to no give sloppy lazy bitches the attention they want, because Body Positivity is a fucking lie that fat girls tell you…now that fat girls are confident cuz fat girls can be on TV, in Movies, Models, fucked by randoms like the hot girl at the bar and not the “last call” closing time table scrabs….ALWAYS choose fitness….and the funny thing with fit girls is that some are still thick, some are still busty….they just have more stamina to fuck you better…and inspire you to get off your ass to fuck them better…

Health is wealth or some shit…as I sit here in my XXXL soiled sweatpants that don’t fit….I’m a commentator not an example to live by…dummies…

(more…)

Posted in:Workout

2021

28

Apr

Rainey Qualley Dark Nipples of the Day

No Comments »

Rainey Qualley is the 30 or near 30 year old daughter of Andie Macdowell and some tax evading developer who lives in Panama…I used to read People magazine and the tabloids in the 80s and 90s due to a crackhead lady I lived with being obsessed and I always hated the age being mentioned, but now, I do it in most posts because it’s important to know how old and expired the vagina of the girl you are looking at is…

I am a big fan of celebrity kids, they make me laugh because of all the access, none of the talent that their parents have, and anything they do will be seen as nepotism, not that that’s a bad thing or that they care, but they’ll NEVER fully believe their accomplishments are their own, not that it matters, but maybe in the depth of their soul it will always have the doubt….

That’s a lot of pressure….you know living life as some entitled idiot with fame you can’t escape and never asked for…that is as much pressure as when a girl asks you to give her a facial out of the blue, with no prep time that you’d typically need to not jerk off, drink your watermelon juice, take your zinc, and really fill up your reservers, you know just dropping that on you out of the blue…with no preparation….when it should be something planned for…can be a humiliating experience and you’re not even the one taking load to your face…

I don’t know if that’s the same kind of pressure, but works for me….

JOIN THE NEWSLETTER YOU ASSHOLES!

Posted in:Rainey Qualley