I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

11

Feb

I am – Live Blogging The Grammy’s of the Day

8 pm – Frank Sinatra opens the ceremony even though he’s dead. Then Alicia Keys starts singing with him and telling him to “take over Frank” and to “Sing it Frank” all even though motherfucker is dead. I always get creeped the fuck out when people do performances with dead people. It reminds me of some kind of horror movie where I expect the motherfucker to climb out of the screen and eat her brain, at least that’s what I wish would happen because it would have made a lot more sense and been a lot more entertaining that seeing Alicia Keys sing to some giant TV screen, like the time I used to watch porn and try to direct it by yelling at the whores on my screen. They never really listened but at least they weren’t dead people, just dead on the inside, but that’s why they got into porn to begin with.

Either way, I think this shit is about as tasteless and offensive as it gets…I guess her tits busting out of her dress make it easier to stomach.

8:06 pm – Carrie Underwood is performing in some shorts showing off her legs – I just can’t focus because she has some STOMP shit going on in the background where these assholes are smashing random garbage with metal pipes. I guess that’s how you make music when you’re poor, not that Carrie Underwood is poor, but I am sure she was and this is something she learned out on the field when her parents couldn’t hook her up with real toys and just gave her rocks and a piece of sheet metal. She’s got a whole lot of sock on, unless those are boots. I feel like I am a strip show where the strippers don’t strip…but sing stupid overplayed songs with leg warmers on.

8:10 pm – Prince presents best RNB Perfromance to Alicia Keys and looks like her could climb up her like it was a Jungle Gym. I am not just saying that cuz she’s black. You racist. Jungles are for everyone….

8:20 pm – Rihanna’s performance got opened by some Different World Dwayne Wayne shit I didn’t understand because I was in the kitchen trying to make a sandwich with old chicken bologna I bought on sale for 75 cents. I’d Still fuck the fat off those chicken legs…even if she does lame medley’s of her top songs because that just means she’s trying to keep everyone happy and that means she’s the kind of girl who likes to satisfy her man to get what she wants. Just ask Jay z. Please just stop the music this performance sucked

8:25 pm – Tom Hanks is talking some Beatles shit that I assume is the Cirque du Soliel from the Vegas show. The thing I like about the Cirque du Soliel is that the founder was some street performing addict in Montreal who got organized with his freaky friends and put on what’s become the biggest deal in circuses. I’ve never seen one but I do know that dude now throws the craziest drug fueled parties in his Montreal mansion and his baby momma is some ex model addicted to coke who fucks the world. True story – it’s local gossip. I hope he doesn’t get mad and send his acrobats on me. I can’t deal with seeing weirdos cartwheeling me to my death before turning into human pretzels and backflipping out of my shitty apartment….

8:30 pm – This young dude from that movie where Marliyn Manson’s 19 year old wife sings like a clown is in is doing a Beatles performance. This black dude can sing and needs to get signed onto a label to do some kind of gangster rap shit….like the next Akon. Sure beats singing around the camp fire back in Africa or an Oil Drum fire back home in the projects….

8:45 pm – Kanye is performing with Daft Punk. I used to listen to Daft Punk in the 90s. He’s wearing some weird glowing glasses and weird glowing hoody basically ripping off the Daft Punk concert I happened to walk into last summer because someone gave me free tickets…..Oh now Daft punk is wearing their Tron suits they wore at their concert. I guess you gotta give Kanye credit for trying to tap into the hipster dance market. I don’t see why this is supposed to be so emotionally charged. We get it his mom died. Get over it people.

Now he’s singing some tribute to his mom…shouldn’t he save this shit for the privacy of his own home or something, or maybe her funeral ceremony from months ago. I don’t want to see people singing to dead relatives…this is some ceremonial shit that should be for friends and family, not the world because last time I checked I don’t give a fuck about Kanye or his losses. It’s nice to see that he has Mama shaved into his head. I feel like his mom died as a PR move for him….to get him this kind of publicity so that he could milk this Mama shit……The girl who auditioned for American Idol who’s dad died the day before was better than this…

8:52 pm – Kanye hour is finally over and now Fergie is singing what must be a theme song to a straight to video Disney spinoff movie or some shit. It’s a disaster but not as much of a disaster as her face…..that was a weak joke…but the Grammy’s stole my soul so with no soul comes no jokes. Deal with it.

8:58 pm – I am going to the bathroom and brought my computer with me. Aren’t you glad we got to share this moment together? I am but I don’t have a camera to show you what I made….

9:03 pm – Cher is presenting something and I think I just saw her testicles hanging off her chin…..So Here’s the Beyonce doing some kind of spoken word shit in a leotard showing some some pussy definition….talking about all kinds of black singers of all time for black history month…this is too art faggy for me.

9:05 pm – Boom there’s Tina Turner…..she’s got a cool voice….and by cool voice I mean nipples that pierce through her metallic top harder than her old lady’s heart is working to keep her from falling over….Now she’s performing with Beyonce and her annoying spoken word art fag voice….if only Ike was still alive to beat her the fuck up now….Beyonce looks like she ate Tina Turner…even at 65 Tina is still has more sex appeal and talent than Beyonce. Beyonce’s fatness is all out of breath struggling to keep up with Tina…this is hysterical…..This is like having a 2 on 1 with your wife with your friend who has a dick double your size…it’s like deliberately embarrassing your sub-par self like you’re on some kind of suicide mission…So it turns out Tina can’t kick – but it’s funny to watch.

9:21 pm – The Foo Fighters are performing outside for the people….and they just gave some no name asian with big tits the chance to play with them – a dream many of you may have but will never live out….because big breasted asians are hard to find….especially ones with an electric violin….

9:33 pm – George Lopez made an embarrassing Mexican for Vice President joke….and introduces some shitty country singer…this is the reason everyone says they hate country and Mexicans….thanks asshole….

9:40 pm – Kanye is doing some kind of speech about how he deserves the award and when he does his speech for his dead mom he demanded the music telling him to shut the fuck up be turned off because it would be in “good taste” or some shit. Shut the fuck up Kanye. No one cares about your bullshit sob story. We know you have an ego and think you’re the best because your mom coddled you or someshit but trying to make us feel guilty for not listening to you and wanting you off stage is a little fucking self-righteous. You should be using this venue to tell us all something interesting like about your sexual conquests on tour….because I know I like hearing about groupies….

9:43 pm – Aretha Franklin is singling some music for god…I find that shit inappropriate. Keep your religious views at home next to your chocolate, chips, cookies and cakes you fat pig. If I wanted to watch a fat chick sing, I’d just ask my wife to sing me happy birthday while stuffing her face with cake like she always does even when it’s no one’s birthday, bitch just loves cake….

9:57 pm – Canadian Feist bored me with her song that is on all kinds of commercials.

10:01 pm – Kid Rock is making inappropriate sex jokes with some grandmother Vaudeville lookin’ performer from the 50s, I guess after fucking Pamela Anderson, this is a step up because at least this bitch’s pussy has seen less hepatitis cock and her pussy is tighter….

10:15 pm – I am bored but Vince Gill just made fun of Kanye West after Alicia Keys performed in spandex with John Mayer who fucked Jessica Simpson – In Case you were wondering…

10:25 pm – I want to shoot myself and the song I am going to slowly and painfully die to is going to be Herbie Hancock and some weird China man and their orchestra…I guess that is slowly and painfully dying alone….

Wow – that bought them what felt like a lot of fucking time……I guess I am not very cultured to appreciate this. I seriously can’t stomach this kind of shit….whether these dudes are talent or not, they are boring the fuck out of me….

10:34 pm – Rihanna beat out Kanye and is walking Beyonce’s man on stage hand in hand, which is one step away from sucking his dick in the recording studio….Jay Z is telling her what to say because he pretty much owns this bitch. I think the funny thing about their dynamic is that Jay Z pretty much found his girlfriend’s replacement. He is responsible for making Beyonce pretty much obsolete….He brought her to fame after finding her in Barbados rolling around in the sand eating bananas, not because she’s black but because she’s tropical and people in the Caribbean love fruit. You’d fit in great, except for you being a fucking racist.

10:40 pm – I just farted. I hate fart jokes or talking about farting but I smell like death and feel like something inside me is dying…probably my liver…and I feel like sharing that with you because everyone else around me just cleared out of the room.

10:41 – Speaking of the smell of death – Amy winehouse is performing. They hyped this shit up hard – Her fake hair is on and she remembers the words this time. I don’t get this girl she’s a drug addict jew and sings like she’s a southern black girl…Maybe it’s some past life shit but maybe it’s because the jews were also oppressed by the white man…. I love how she’s singing out of the side of her mouth like some kind of cowboy chewing tobacco…I guess it’s her kind of tribute to her drug addict homie Heath Ledger….kinda like gangsters pouring some 40 on the sidewalk for their fallen brothers…

She’s singing her rehab song – because she’s ironic…I just wonder what she’s hiding up her skinny legs….She’s the classiest performer of the night and people love her. So fuck you to whoever said drugs are bad….apparently they win you some Grammy’s…..

10:48 pm – They are honoring Dorris Day. This is when I turn the fuckin’ TV off. Peace out Grammy Awards and all the depressing thoughts you made run through my head as I sit on my couch….ha Amy Winehouse won the grammy – she’s a superstar…..I hope she parties hard to celebrate that she proved addiction works for some people….

Now I am going to go drink the pain the Grammy’s brought to me life away…If you read all this, you are insane but I appreciate it because I’d never read this shit…..

Posted in:Grammy Awards|Live Blogging

2008

10

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I asked a dude from Brazil who emailed me if I would get killed if I visited his country – this is his reply

Sorry but believed to be talking with people educated, Webmaster, my email is normal, and if you come to Brazil you will not be dead, you are being aggressive on me and my country. I do not know where you are but the problems that happen here, occur throughout the world, and if you come to Brazil will be very welcome. Take my existing on your site, and is more polite to people you get there. Thank you

This commentary is bad taste and offensive to me and my country. I think if sent to the Federal Police, Brazilian Consulate to you explain these offensive words OK?

Here are my links…

Some Hip Hop Star Doing an X-Rated Photoshoot Video….With Some Hoes…That He Actually Licks…
GO

Nicole Richie’s Breast Feeding Tits
GO

Sine Chick Named Jaime Koeppe Running Around in Her Thong…
GO

Here’s an Insane Webcam Chick’s Ass in Action
GO

Some Club Sluts Being Drunken Club Sluts
GO

Some Song About Tits
GO Boobies_Are_My_Kind_of_Guy/

Posh Spice is at a Project Runway Fashion Show
GO

Rihanna is Dressed Like an Alien
GO

Some Hot Brazilian Girls in Bikini Tops Dancing Video
GO

Ginger Spice Wearing a See Through Bra
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More Pictures of Ginger Spice Falling Out of Her Dress
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Dude Getting Kneed in the Nuts Weirdness
GO

Some Stripping Army Babe for the Troops in Iraq
GO

Jessica Biel and Her Boring Tits at some Awards Ceremony
GO

Heidi Klum’s Hot Ass in Denim
GO

Drunk Party Sluts to Bring in the Weekend Because You Are Too Ugly to Get In Clubs to Witness it Yourself….
GO

Here’s Some Man Vs Girls Gone Wild Video that Sucks The Life Out Of You
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Here are the Best 50 British Boobs
GO

Here are the Hottest Women in Sports Gallery
GO

Here is Some Insane Avalanche Footage to Celebrate Winter!
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Adrianne Curry does a Nude Girl on Girl Photoshoot
GO

You Would Fuck These Pictures of Jenna Jameson But That’s Just Because You’d Fuck Anything
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Here are Playboy’s 25 Sexiest Women
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Amy Winehouse Fixed Her Missing Tooth
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Here’s Some Lesbianism for the Night…
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Pat O’Brien’s In Rehab….
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More on the Edison Chen Sex Tape Scandal Bullshit
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Kirsten Dunst May Not Actually Be in Rehab
GO

Here is Your Lesbian Fantasy of the Day
GO

This Dog is Pretty Stupid…But Probably Smarter than Me
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Here Name is Veronica Zemanova Half Naked Lookin’ Hot
GO

Some Old Britney Spears on the Beach in a Thong
GO

Paris Hilton Admits to Getting Facials…
GO

Some Blond Fingering Herself
GO

Lance Bass Says All Britney Needs is Justin Timberlake…
GO

2 Hot Sluts on the Beach Together
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Webcam Girl Dancing Around in Her Underwear Because She’s a Slut
GO

Here Name is Eve Wyrwal and She’s Supposed to be the Next Big Thing…and I am Talking About Her Tits
GO

Some Amateur Sex Video
GO

Paris Hilton’s PR Guy Is Fucking Creepy Lookin’
GO

Here is Some Wrestling Chick Doing What Wrestling Chicks Do and That’s Get Naked
GO

Myleene Klass and Her Ass in a Red Dress
GO

Some Phoebe Price Bending Over Cleavage Action…
GO

Here Are a Whole Lot of Naked Chicks
GO

Heidi Klum Does Sit Ups in a Short Dress on the View
GO

Some Hot Ass Girl Grinding Up on a Pole
GO

Sarah Silverman Makes the List of Stuff White People Like
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Its fun to watch BMXers eat shit
GO

Kelly Rowland Got Breast Implants Because She’s Tired of Taking the Back Seat to Beyonce and Tits are the Easiest Way to Try to Forget You’re Useless By Drawing Attention to Yourself….
GO

Here’s Some Pretty Artistic Dirty Dancing
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Some 2006 Maxim Hometown Hottie Was Found on Myspace….
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Here’s Another Wrestling Diva in a Lingerie Photoshoot
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From Photobucket

Some Fat Chick Showing Off Her Pussy
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Some Slut and Some Foot Fetish Pictures
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FROM THE FORUM

T.I. – Urban Legend
GO

A whole Lot of The Roots cds
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Hole – Live Through This
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Ozzy – Blizzard and Diary
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Dropkick Murpheys – Live on St. Patricks Day
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Cake – B Sides and Rarities
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Paul Oakenfold – Greatest Hits and Remixes
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Felix feels herself part2
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Maxim Oct. 07 pdf
GO

Armand Van Helden – GhettoBlaster
GO

Underworld – Second Toughest in the Infants
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Peaches – Impeach My Bush
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Stereolab – Anthology
GO

Get Some Porn…Because You Don’t Masturbate Enough…
GO

Use This To Increase Your Chance in Getting Sex…Because You Masturbate Too Much
GO

Go Here To Find Girls to Fuck Because You Masturbate Alone Too Often….
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Charlize Theron is Acting a Fool at Harvard of the Day

So Charlize Theron won a Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year award from Harvard Theatre troupe and she seems to have drank a little too much at the ceremony and is acting a fool and I find it hot. I guess what it all comes down to is that I never went to the circus growing up and have always felt like I messed up so I have a fetish for girls who don’t take themselves too seriously and dress like clowns. It’s like the time I was all about the girl who spray painted herself gold and stood still all day on the street corner pretending to be a statue who would break into juggle every time someone would throw change in her bucket…..

I think the amazing thing in all this is that Harvard has enough power to honor someone with an award and have them actually show up to accept because if I set up an award system on this site I can guarantee that none of the winners would come to the ceremony to accept the award. I guess that has something to do with not being Harvard but may also have to do with having the ceremony in my bathroom while taking a shower, but that’s just because it’s the only place I get alone time in my shitty one room apartment. It’s really where all the magic happens. My naked fat body on my imaginary stage talking to the mirror…I should set up a webcam in that shit and let you in on the fun. Homo.


Related Posts:

Charlize Theron’s Got Cleavage
Charlize Theron’s Got Hard Nipples
Charlize Theron in a Bikini at the Beach

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Kat Von D is a Tattooed Jew Hater of the Day

I wasn’t too surprised when I heard Kat Von D Hates Jews , but that’s just because I hate tattooed bitches and feel like if they feel the need to do this to their bodies they have to either hate themselves or hate society and are probably part of some kind of Neo Nazi group that meet in church basements to discuss how to win the white power back. I am sure that amongst the mess that is her body and that reminds me of my highschool notebook that I would use to write obscenities, draw retarded doodles of girls getting huge dicks in their asses amongst other shit instead of getting an education resulting in a jobless life of writing a website no one reads between binge drinking sessions, sure it’s not all that bad but I could of been a doctor and doctors get to see all kinds of pussy…even the kind that people don’t normally want to see.

All that to say that Kat Von D may be denying these accusations of her hating on the jews but I guess it would be a bad PR move to admit she wants Jewbags to burn in hell considering the industry she is working in is run by jews….These are some pictures of her at some event looking like a disgusting racist mess disguised as some alternative model clown who’s daddy didn’t love her enough forcing her to destroy her body to get attention by being so different because body art isn’t art it’s a cry for help…..

Posted in:Nazi|Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Britney Spears Has a Crazy Panty Upskirt of the Day

So people think Britney is crazy enough to be committed, but not crazy enough to keep committed and I am okay with that because I don’t really care either way. I am selfish like that. I do know that if she dies I will miss her flashing me but that’s just because my life is pretty boring and looking at celebrity underwear and nipples passes the time, especially when the celebrity is someone I wanted to fuck when she was wholesome and 18, not that I wouldn’t fuck her today, but every time I see her flashing, I think she’s doing it for me and that God answered my prayers, it just took him 10 years to get it done, but he got it done nonetheless and I guess I have no choice to admit that Britney’s demise has made me found Jesus. The real one.

Either way, here is Britney in a luxury car with a pack of smokes and showing off her underwear, some of my favorite things so if that is crazy, then everything I want in life is crazy and maybe I should be the one committed. I guess the fact that I pull out my dick in public while screaming obscenities about being rape before falling to the ground speaking in tongues while convulsing in busy intersections helps my case.


Related Posts:

Britney Spears in a See Through Halter Top
Britney Spears Isn’t Crazy She’s Just Embarrassed of Her Poor Dad
Britney Spears is Wearing a Bra
Britney Spears Nipples in a See Through Shirt

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Victoria’s Secret Models Promote Valentine’s Day of the Day

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Valentine's Day is my favorite time of year....to dump whoever I am dating at the time. Not that that is a real issue right now because I am married and bitch pays my rent and shit so I can't really walk away otherwise I would end up back on the street because working isn't for me...so I have to suck it up and make a card out of construction paper like I did back in grade school and I have to write out shitty poetry professing my love that I don't really feel but the lie helps me get through another year while remembering a time whenever Valentine's Day rolled around I'd end whatever I had going one with whoever I had it going on with, even if it was just with a regular hooker, just because I thought it was a funny thing to do and funny makes life more fun....

So girls get all worked up wanting gifts and love and dinners and perfumes and lingerie and chocolate to make them feel beautiful and appreciated for the day...to make them feel appreciated for giving you the honor to enter their sacred pussies, a pussy so sacred that they'd let any random dude they meet at the bar up in it for the night to feel wanted and all that fucker has to deal with is buying her a couple drinks and maybe cleaning up her puke after he'd done and doesn't have to put up with all the day to day shit that you do....

Either way, Victoria's Secret knows that they are designed around the perfect Valentine's Day gifts and here they are with their models Selita Ebanks, Izabel Goulart and Karolina Kurkove trying to milk it more than they already have since it's pretty much the foundation of what they do...I don't know if that made sense, but it did to me and I guess that's all that really matters since writing this site is pretty much the same thing as talking to myself and that's because no one reads this shit and I don't really blame them. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Selita Ebanks in a See Through Beater
Karolina Kurkova’s Ass in a Thong
Karolina Kurkova in a See Through Dress
Karolina Kurkova Riding a Bike

Posted in:Bras|Izabel Goulart|Selita Ebanks|Unsorted|Valentine's Day

2008

08

Feb

Olivia Munn for Complex in a Bikini of the Day

I know that I pick up Complex for the articles (about me) but it turns out they’ve gone out and done a photoshoot with Olivia Munn so maybe you should pick it up for the pictures.

This is an ego post because I was mentioned on Olivia Munn’s show “Attack of the Show” and I was mentioned in Complex Magazine as the one of the Men of Next Year . Now neither have made me any fucking money or landed me more traffic but I figured that Olivia Munn are being brought together by destiny.

The funny thing about destiny is that it doesn’t exist, it is just a good tool to trick girls into thinking you are a romantic and they’ll either accept a date with you or call the police and issue a restraining order. The good news is that girls are romantics so they usually accept the date after you claim that you are connected at the soul and were lovers in a past life and tell her how good it is so good to finally come together again, even though that shit would creep me the fuck out if the tables were turned….

So once you are in the same room as a bitch you need to get her pregnant by association. That means throwing cum at her and hoping some of it sticks in the right places, because she may not have all that much of a career but she’s richer than me and despite the homeless fecal artist down the street being richer than me at least Olivia Munn has a house and hotter body and I am superficial like that. Plus moving into the homeless fecal artist’s home under the overpass wouldn’t be so good in the winter and her always smells like shit…

So Olivia Munn, If you’re out there….We are connected at the soul. Let’s do lunch and rekindle our love. So Much has happened since I saw you 4 lives ago….but give me a couple week’s notice because i need to start milking myself like the lactating woman, otherwise my plan to K-Fed you will never work….since I’m kinda impotent

Olivia Munn Complex Bikini TitsOlivia Munn Complex Bikini TitsOlivia Munn Complex Bikini Tits

Olivia Munn Complex Bikini TitsOlivia Munn Complex Bikini TitsOlivia Munn Complex Bikini Tits

Olivia Munn Complex Bikini Tits

Check Out The Olivia Munn Interview and Pictures at Complex
GO

Posted in:Attack of the Show|Olivia Munn. Complex|Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Fergie Flashing Her Ass at a Black Eyed Peas Event of the Day

I don’t know why seeing the Black Eyed Peas performing together reminds me of some tired reunion tour I accidently stumbled in on at some dive bar after a night of drinking rubbing alcohol and juice just to see if it made me go blind…but it does. I feel like they all aged 20 years in the last year of doing their solo careers and that these almost 40 year old motherfuckers are up on stage trying to be down, for their audience of 40 year olds reliving the glory days.

I guess none of that matters, because Fergie has been stickin to the gym and is showing her ass on stage and that never gets old, even if she does. I am talking about expecting to see a 65 year old Fergie in about 5 years on stage pissing herself like she was in her heyday only I’m hoping she’ll be showing more pussy lips….because by then she’ll probably have gone through with the full surgery and it won’t just be the empty scrotum that it is today. That was a Fergie is a Man joke that probably didn’t work. Just in case you were wondering.

Bonus: Some Fergie Upskirt Pictures from The Superbowl showing us that she Probably Doesn’t Have a Penis…



Related Posts:

The Fergie Sex Tape that Isn’t a Fergie Sex Tape
Fergie’s Panty Leak
Fergie Doing a Period Pants Crotch Grab

Posted in:Black Eyed Peas|Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

The Paris Hilton Generation Booty Shake Video of the Day

This video was sent to me and it’s a couple of girls who look like they are between 15 and 19, but for the sake of this post, it was their 18th birthday last week, not that I should worry about posting illegal kiddy porn shit since it is hosted on YouTube making YouTube the kiddy porn peddlers and not me.

Either way, they are doing a booty shake to the song Put it in Your Mouth like they are in one of those hip hop music video that they were raised watching and they are showing off their panty asses like it aint a thing and that’s the kind of liberal thoughts I like seeing the girls of tomorrow have, because let’s face it, there’s no big deal in showing some ass but the girls of my generation seemed to think there was, but that probably just had something to do with me repulsing them.

Teenage pregnancy may be an epidemic today because of Jamie Lynn Spears and the movie Juno, but it was around back in my time, I just wasn’t the one knocking the bitches up. So I guess we shouldn’t blame Paris Hilton and her sex tape for sluts of tomorrow and we shouldn’t be blaming hip hop for objectifying women, we should just blame digital video cameras and the internet for making the sluts more accessible to us, and by blame I mean write a letter thanking the companies for making is possible.

BONUS (That isn’t really a bonus) – Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton slutting out in a club in Boston like the cokewhore that she is….you know letting her little push up bra wearing tits bust out of her dress while holding a mic like we care what she has to say….or sing…or do whatever the fuck this waste of space is doing…..

Posted in:Booty Shake|Generation|Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives Gets Punched in the Face Video of the Day

I am the kind of guy who says inappropriate shit at bars all the time and I am usually too drunk to fight back so I just end up looking like this Jesse Metcalfe bitch after he gets punched in the face only I’ve never really gone down no matter how drunk I’ve been or how hard I’ve been hit. I have had fractured sinuses and noses and I have a numb spot in the top of my forehead from a time a bouncer 4 times my size took out his 10 dollar an hour rage on my face because I tried sneaking a pitcher of beer out of the bar when they were kicking me out for something I did but don’t remember doing because I wasted…..I guess the funniest thing about this is that Jesse Metcalfe girl fight is that these dudes spend so much time in the gym to get their muscles and six-packs but are still fucking pussies when it comes down to it. So the designer gloved pretty boy who is pretending to be a gangster by defending Taryn Manning’s honor when he should really be helping her by giving her acting lessons, hits Jesse Metcalfe in the face. I bet things get awkward when they run into each other at the beauty salon to get their manicures, fake tans and nails done…..

Posted in:Fight|Jesse Metcalfe|Unsorted

2008

08

Feb

stepLINKS of the Day

I decided to do a load of laundry today because I could smell my own ass and have been sick the last month and figured it was time to hose down the beast that is me in hopes of getting rid of the germs I’ve been suckin’ up like a crackwhore on a earning spree or at least pretend to by putting on a clean pair socks.

I went down to the laundry room after forgetting to get my shit because I am not very efficient and caught a woman from the building emptying my load out of the dryer. Not that kind of load, sicko. She acted all embarrassed that she touched my shit like I had just walked in on her masturbating to a pair of my women’s panties and tried justifying herself. I told her not to worry and that she’s more than welcome to come up to my apartment to clean the rest of my shit like the wife I never had even though I have a wife but she’s just useless and the girl just gave me a dirty look and ran away. Some people have no respect, if you’re going to do part of the job you should at least finish. I want my socks sorted bitch and I want to stand there laughing while she’s trying to match them because between you and me I don’t have any proper pairs, I’m all mismatched like that….

This was a stupid story and Here’s Snoops New Single

Listen Now

Now here are my stupid links….

Charlize Theron is Grabbing Some Tranny Tit
GO

Olivia Munn’s Hot Photoshoot for Complex
GO

Club Sluts Doing Drunk Club Slut Things
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Some Webcam Girl Rocks A Lollipop Proper
GO

Some Hot Models Fighting in a Bikini
GO

Naomi Campbell Does the Worst Superbowl Commercial I’ve Ever Seen
GO

The New Guess Girl is Really Worth Guessing The Way She Maintains Her Bush
GO

Tyra Banks Shit Herself During New York Fashion Week
GO

Karolina Kurkova Does G.I. Joe
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Eva Mendes is Out of Rehab and This is Her Upskirt Moment
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The Eva Mendes Out of Rehab Pics
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Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johannson Do a Threesome
GO

Lohan is Dying to To Play Alice in Wonderland…Just Not Dying Hard Enough
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Eva Longoria Does Some NYC Fashion Week in Gold
GO

Angelina Jolie Visits Iraq
GO

Another Hot Slut Quits Drinking Even Though It’s the Only Thing That Ever Got Her Laid
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Crazy Britney is Still British
GO

Some Hot Slut Named Louise Porter Does Zoo Magazine
GO

Some Fat Dude Goes Crazy With His Fat Gun Because He Hates Life
GO

This is a Day in the Life in Britney’s Life
GO

Amy Winehouse Gets Denied….
GO

Paris Hilton has a Nip Slip in a Boston Club
GO

There’s a Pretty Funny Story Behind This Picture
GO

I have Never Seen the Ron Jeremy Sucking His Own Dick Video…But Now I Have
GO

Phoebe Price has Some Hot Tits
GO

Some Huge Halle Berry Pregnancy Cleavage Pics Because Fertility is Hot
GO

Some Hot Chick Fights a Fat Chick
GO

Some Dumb Chick High on E Getting Down and Crazy
GO

Some Hot Girl Making Out With Her Friend Video
GO

Some Sexy 18 Year Old Asian Spreading Her Legs
GO

These Bitches Think They are Super Heros
GO

Some Loser Recreates the Superbowl Stadium in His Backyard Video
GO

Some Road Rage Leaves a Dude Knocked the Fuck Out
GO

Exclusive – John Mayer Murdered Someone and I am Not Talking About Jessica Simpson’s Pussy
GO

Some Mexican TV Presenter’s Sex Tape Worth Watching Because Sex Tapes are Good
GO

The Best and Worst Bikini Bodies
GO

Miss Nevada’s Personal Slutty Pictures
GO

Some Hot Pictures from the Rio Carnival
GO

Penthouse Playmates Playing Guitar Hero Badly
GO

The Pink Vagina Couch Cuz It’s the Only Pussy You’ll Get
GO

The Original Daisy Dukes Titty Action
GO

Sluts Erica Campbell and Jelena Jensen doing a Little Photoshoot
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart Singing Some Madonna…Good Times…
GO

Some Chick Showing Off her Hairy Cooch
GO

Two Sluts Making Out in Video
GO

Some Amateur Chick Rockin’ A Dildo Video
GO

The Hottest Pregnant Women Ever
GO

Bai Ling Talks to D-List Fetus
GO

Some Asshole Gets a Tennis Ball To the Balls For Science
GO

Some Alanis Morrisette Pissing in a Cup Clip from the Past
GO

On GG Allen’s Birthday They Pay a Whore To Piss in His Mouth and This is The Legendary Video
GO

The Baby Getting Thrown out of a Building Pictures
GO

Seymore Butts Talking About Queefing Video
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

The Cops Get Caught Stripping a Girl Down Video
GO

Some Girl Pissing Like a Man
GO

Gloria Valez is a Hip Hop Model from Myspace and These are Her Pics…
GO

Salma Hayek Made an Appearace and Looks Good
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FROM PHOTOBUCKET

Some Chick Suckin’ Dick
GO

Some Chick’s Vagina Got Some Fingers In It
GO

Lookin’ Good Sweetheart
GO

Some Slut Posing
GO

Young Brown and This is Her Body
GO

Some Girls and Some Nakedness
GO

Some Girls Showing Her Ass and Pussy
GO

Get Some Porn…Because You Don’t Masturbate Enough…
GO

Use This To Increase Your Chance in Getting Sex…Because You Masturbate Too Much
GO

Go Here To Find Girls to Fuck Because You Masturbate Alone Too Often….
GO

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

07

Feb

Keeley Hazell is Posing in a Bikini With Statues of the Day

Keeley Hazell is some naturally big breasted 21 year old who has made a living doing lame photoshoots because people want to fuck her. She is also the star of her very own sex tape that was leaked in January of last year where you could watch people actually fuck her.

These pictures of Keeley are from a photoshoot she did promoting Lynx bodyspray, which is an affordable way to shower when you don’t have a home with a bathroom because it is a lot less expensive than getting a place with a bathroom. I guess it’s also a good way for people to whore shower themselves on days they just don’t feel like washing, which is every day for me, but that’s just because I am a lazy slob and feel comfortable in my own stink…and if I was so inclined to whore shower myself, I’d just walk to the drug store and spray myself with actual designer cologne pretending I was trying to decide between the Burberry and the Jean Paul Gauthier before leaving empty handed but smelling glorious and luxurious like I was a designer human…..or some shit….

Speaking of shit, Keely’s bikini is brown, I wonder what kind of stains her drippy ass is covering up. Yeah, I probably should have left that last line out, it was pretty fucking weak, but so am I…hold me.


Related Posts:

Some Keeley Hazell Sex Tape
Eva Longoria does a Bebe Ad Campaign

Posted in:Keeley Hazell|Unsorted

2008

07

Feb

Coleen McLoughlin in a Bikini Day Two of the Day

I bet at least one of you has been sitting in your sweat covered folding chair in front of your computer in your messy basement amongst cut outs of random pictures of girls in bikinis and cum covered kleenex and t-shirts sprawled around your room waiting for day two of Coleen McLoughlin pictures to hit because you are creepy and have nothing better to do and she’s your fucking favorite.

I know that I definitely wasn’t that guy, but that’s just because I’ve never heard of this bitch and I can’t afford folding chairs or Kleenex, I’m more into using junk mail flyers for all my personal hygiene needs if I am not too lazy.

Either way, here are day two bikini pictures of this bitch and it turns out that I answer dreams, even if it’s just for one dude who no one talks to because he smells. That makes me feel like a modern day Princess Diana amongst Aids babies or some shit….only I’m not dead….


Related Posts:


Coleen McLoughlin in a Red Bikini
More Coleen McLoughlin Bikini Action

Posted in:Unsorted|WAG

2008

07

Feb

Kirsten Dunst in Rehab of the Day

kirsten_dunst_bikinitop.jpg

Drunken table scraps Kirsten Dunst never stopped drinking, people just stopped caring. I remember a time when every time she went out and got drunk everyone wanted to know, but then real celebrities started crawling into the gutter and all of a sudden the bitch who was always in the gutter became totally irrelevant to us because we like to watch people’s demise, we just don’t like watching people who started at the bottom staying at the bottom because it gets boring and maybe that’s the reason she drinks….

Either way, this is what Star reported:

“She desperately needed help,” a source in Utah tells Star. “She seemed to be intoxicated when she checked in because she was acting really erratic. She was extremely emotional, constantly breaking down in tears.

“She not in a good place right now, but thankfully, she’s getting the help she needs.”

Via Star Magazine

I guess she signed into rehab in efforts to show people how crazy she is, and that she is in a bad place like Britney and Lohan too and she’s not some washed up drunk, but that’s just because she didn’t shower. What she didn’t realize is that we all realized how crazy she was the night she drank a 40 of whiskey and pissed all over herself at the company Christmas party before trying to finger bang the bosses daughter. No wait, that was me….

Either way, we aren’t laughin’ at how you finally cracked, we are laughing at how you slur your words, you drunken bitch.

Rehab is useless and designed for losers are people trying to clean up their image, since Kirsten has no image to clean up I can only assume she’s a fuckin’ loser.

These pictures are old.


Related Posts:

Kirsten Dunst Old Drunken Cleavage
Kirsten Dunst’s Ass in Bikini Bottoms
Kirsten Dunst and Her Bikini and some Bonus Lookin’ Like a Retard Pics

Posted in:Unsorted

2008

07

Feb

Heidi Montag’s Fake Tits Try on Clothes of the Day

I figure that when you’re a useless bitch who has no business being famous other than being in the right place at the right time and having a fake friendship with a girl who happened to already be on a MTV show leading you to getting some guest appearances then later a staring roll on her own MTV show have nothing better to do than get new tits for better ratings and a somehow land a shitty record deal to show off those tits in song.

Anyway, here are some pictures of Heidi Montag and her fake tits trying on dresses she’s going to be wearing to the Grammy awards she wasn’t invited too because the industry doesn’t consider her famous enough, but I hear she’s going to a great party at her mom’s house where they all dress up and give each other fake awards in a fake ceremony they put on to celebrate her fake career…and her fake tits…..and this is her trying on outfits for that event. Cuddles.


Related Posts:

Heidi Montag Wearing Next to Nothing at a Superbowl Party
Heidi Montag New Music Video
Heidi Montag’s Making of the Music Video…Video
Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures
Even Older Heidi Montag Bikini Pictures

Posted in:Unsorted