I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2009

29

May

Amy Winehouse Rocks the Interracial Relationship in a Bra of the Day

The problem with this Amy Winehouse relationship with a black man is that you can’t tell if motherfucker is gold diggin’, you know trying to live the Good Life like he was Kanye West, by riding off this bitch’s success, or whether he’s just getting up in that because she’s white, you know because black dudes will fuck the most disgusting white girl. Not that Amy Winehouse is really pure white, I hear she’s rotting from the inside and has a black pussy that matches her soulful black voice. I actually did hear that, but definitely assume that and it’s all part of the reason why I masturbate to her pictures….

Posted in:Amy Winehouse|Beach|Bra|IRC

2009

29

May

Beth Ditto Flashes Her Disgusting Body of the Day

The beauty of fat chicks is that their is no beauty of fat chicks. They are pigs and no matter how hard they try to cover shit up, they still have to struggle when getting off the couch, or out of cars, or trying to put on socks in the morning after you reached a new low and brought one of them home with you one night to fuck.

They are slobs and they are messes and you know their pussy stinks no matter how hard they try to wash, not only is it too hard to reach their shit to clean it but the warm swampy climate in their pants just always wins….

Posted in:Beth Ditto|Fat

2009

29

May

Kayden Kross Will Marry Me of the Day

I am gonna keep this short and sweet. Kayden Kross is not only a pornstar, but also an amazing girl. Possibly my dream girl. I hit her up and said I’d make her win this contest if she would marry me. She agreed.

So all I need is 10,000 people to vote for her, yesterday’s attempt was miserable at beast and I’m starting to think you don’t like me.

I slave for you all day and it really is the least you can do for all the shitty work I do for you.

This is my future we’re talking about. I just need you to get off your lazy, apathetic kick, click the link and vote for Kayden Kross.

Notice in the pictures she took for me that she’s standing next to the Laundry machines and a vacuum cleaner. Shit’s on. She’s ready to take care of me.

All I need is to have her win. So Please Vote….


Seriously, Please, Vote for Kayden Kross It Will Take You a Minute and Make Me a Better Person and By Better Person I Mean I’ll Finally Get to Have Sex with a Pornstar With My Miserable Dick.
GO

Posted in:Kayden Kross|Wedding

2009

28

May

stepLINKS of the Day

In trying to push the boundaries of creepy on the internet – this is my new facebook message I sent to girls I don’t know. It makes me laugh. Let’s see if it gets me a date:

we should go on a date when your boyfriend mysteriously “disappears” next week

Love

Jesus Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com

In trying to push the boundaries of offending people, it turns out doing an RIP Motherfucker for Mike Tyson’s baby was going too far. I even had the black baby hanging from the treadmill noose header picture, but couldn’t bring my heart to do it, because Mike Tyson scares me and I’m sure he’s upset about the shit. I was going to say how I don’t remember being 4, so his kid probably didn’t even realize it was alive and that dying at 4 is like a delayed abortion. I was also going to say that everyone wanted Tyson to burn in hell when he got charged with rape and when he got charged with beating up his cunt wife like she deserved to be beat cuz she was all high maintenace and got in his face and shit and now he probably is. So you are a bunch of fuckin’ murderes for wishing ill on a misunderstood, mistreated bi-polar person.

In trying to turn off my computer for the night so I can go get beat up at bars by strangers again because I’m a loud mouth and annoying, here’s my steplinks for the day. Click them but before you do…..

Help Me Get Married To a Pornstar By Voting for Kayden Kross and Her Ass
GO

Here are the rest of ‘em….

Well This Britney Spears Story Pretty Much Made Me Puke
GO

Luigi Finally Snapped
GO

Hot Models With Vampire Fetishes
GO

Your Business Card Sucks
(This Guy is Such a Cunt Its Amazing)
GO

Jennifer Hawkins Makes Good Lingerie Even Better
GO

Use This To Get Sex..Because Sex is Fun
GO

I Would Totally Throw It In Diane Keaton
GO

Kitty Wants to Cry
GO

How To Survive in Prison
GO

Beer Opener App is Pointless and Amazing at the Same Time
GO

The Life of the Party?
GO

Striptease of the Day
GO

SO Drug Dealers Accept Amex Now, Do They?
GO

Danny Masterson Has the Best Fiancee Ever
GO

Jodie Marsh is a Body Builder Now or Some Shit
GO

Abby Titmuss Bikini Top
GO

Katherine McPhee Made a HaHa
GO

Kendra Wilkinson is a Hot Mess
GO

Tom Sizemore Got Arrested AGAIN Because He is a Mess and It Is Amazing
GO

Gabrielle Union Gallery
GO

Elana Grimaldi Could Sell a Baker a Loaf of Bread
GO

Scooter Cop Bails – VIDEO
GO

Susan Boyle Almost Had to Lay the Smackdown
GO

Petty Loves Roses and Hard Core Sex
GO

Angel Dark Strips Down on the Stairs
GO

Proof You Should Use Condoms
GO

The Lovely Cody Lane
GO

If This Shit Goes Down, Somebody is Getting Fired
GO

AHHHHH VIDA GUERRA
GO

Great Tits, Great Ass. Just Plain Great
GO

Some Homo is Suing Chris Brown
GO

Find Girls to Fuck – Because Sex is a Two Person Activity
GO

Ashley Tisdale is Actually Lookin Kind of Hot
GO

No Boys and No Toys, Just Lesbian Sex
GO

Tera Patrick is a Sucker
GO

Haylie Duff Got Her Chin and Nose Fixed
GO

Joan Rivers is a Cranky Old Bitch
GO

Beauty Bowling
GO

Prime Beef Curtain
GO

Rhianna WILL Be Testifying Against Chris Brown
GO

Amazing Redhead
GO

Most Talented Street Drummer Ever
GO

Diary of an NYC Drug Dealer
GO

Get Your Slut Fixed Here
GO

BONUS -

NAKED BUSTY GIRL EATING ICE CREAM ON THE BEACH….
GO

ANOTHER BONUS –

Seriously Vote for Kayden Kross It Will Make Me a Better Person and By Better Person I Mean I’ll Finally Get to Fuck a Pornstar With My Miserable Dick.
GO

Posted in:stepLINKS

2009

28

May

Kim Kardashian and Her Bikini Top at an Event of the Day

You’d think a bitch who has the balls to make a fucking workout DVD wouldn’t be ashamed to take her fucking sarong or whatever the fuck those ass covering devices for insecure girls at the beach are called.

I know if I am obnoxious enough to claim I am good enough at something to have an instructional video for the shit, I’m going to put my money where my fuckin’ mouth is, to try to show the world that I am not some money grubbing hack who attaches my name on anything that sells, especially if it is DVDs of me in compromising positions that show off my big ass for black guys to use as fetish porn instead of for the marketed purpose of the shit.

I guess I shouldn’t hate Kardashian for providing a service to dudes, because in writing this post, I realize that no one is going to buy her workout DVD to workout to, this is strictly a PG porn project and that’s work worth recognizing, despite the fact that her look’s not my thing, but her attitude in exploiting herself should be every girl’s thing.

Posted in:Bikini Top|Kim Kardashian

2009

28

May

Mandy Moore’s Got a New Album of the Day

If the way a girl sings is representative of how they fuck, Mandy Moore brings the fucking boring. Is this even fucking music. I can’t dance to the shit and god fucking knows I love dancing. This shit doesn’t even make me want to cry or feel sadness or loss or any fucking emotion that music can sometimes bring up in me, it just sounds like something I’d unwillingly fall asleep to while driving down the fuckin’ freeway causing me to drive off the fuckin overpass only to wake up mid-air to experience the horriible crash where I don’t die on contact but live long enough to hear the blood pouring out of my painful wounds drown out this fucking shitty song before dying a horrible death.

Fuck you Mandy Moore and your singing career.

Here’s Another boring video of her Performing

And a boring video of Soundcheck at the same event…

273340″>

Posted in:Mandy Moore|Singing

2009

28

May

Kristin Cavallari is a Racist in Shorts of the Day

I always knew Kristin Cavallari was a fucking racist, but I just can’t believe she’d generalize that all Mexican’s are drunks and jacked on Tequila who can’t support their families because they are lazy and unmotivated drunks jacked on Tequila. It offends me that her statement implies that we Mexicans are just illegal immigrants or second rate citizens who don’t belong in her country, unless we’re doing her fucking yard work to make enough money to buy ourselves fuckin’ Tequila instead of paying our rent for our shanty or saving for our kid’s college education.

This kind of ignorance makes me sick, but not as sick as the 8 shots of Tequila I did last night instead of working or spending time with my family did. Sure, I was a fucking pirate for a few hours, but now, I am officially dead.

Posted in:Kristin Cavallari|Racist

2009

28

May

Hefner Takes His Prostitutes to a Lakers Game of the Day

Hugh Hefner treats his whores pretty fucking well. He takes them to events and gives them careers and pays them huge money. He probably has benefits and pension plans and the only thing shitty in the whole thing is that they have to fuck an 85 year old who in reality is a trophy for their kind, because he pretty much invented fake blonde hair and fake tits, and has a lot more money and power than the scummy blue collar dudes they used to fuck back home after work at the local chicken joint.

When I get whores, I just cum on their faces for an extra 5 dollars, if I am not making them lick my bleeding hemorrhoid asshole, to test if they are desperate enough….

I guess we all can’t be as classy as me.

Posted in:Hugh Hefner|Lakers|Playboy

2009

28

May

Kendra Wilkinson’s Promoting With Her Tits in Poland of the Day

Kendra Wilinson was promoting some garbage in Poland because you know Poland is the place you go to promote when you’re a real big star, not when you’re a desperate whore trying to hold onto any fragment of fame you once had. In her defense though, maybe she was already in Poland trying to get abducted and thrown into the Eastern European sex trade, and when that didn’t work out for her because she’s not 12 years old, she had to resort back on her failing career. Nice tits.

Posted in:Kendra Wilkinson|Promo|Tits

2009

28

May

Honoring a Hero of the Day

Here is our soon to be fallen hero, because the motherfuckers know who he is, but he needs some credit for having a good fuckin’ run at being the campus Peepin Tom. Sure he’s going to take one for the fuckin’ team and his catalog of work will be pulled off whatever website he’s been submitting to, never to be seen again, but the least we can do is give him a tribute, a parade, maybe a statue, maybe even assign a local school to get their fifth grade glass to do a poetry contest about him, or maybe this post is all he’ll get. Either way, watch the video.

Posted in:Hero|Peeping time

2009

28

May

Hilary Duff Does the ATM of the Day

Hilary Duff is thick, I don’t know what happened to her and I can only assume it was a product of the emotional damage of having to satisfy her boyfriend’s team and other weird jock requests that are borderline gay because the anal sex with each other in the locker room is really a matter of dominance and not of sexual satisfaction. Sure they cum in each other, but that’s how you connect with one another, you know absorbing their seed, and the second they aren’t on at practice, or playing, they opt of chicks.

Yes, she’s posing with a sign that says “deposits never made easier” and I guess it’s only really relevant because of her willing stretched out asshole has the ability to take multiple loads at the same fucking time thanks to the huge shits she’s been taking from all the eating, and an honorable mention to the gangbangs….

Posted in:ATM|Hilary Duff

2009

28

May

Vanessa Hudgens Wears Short Pants of the Day

Here’s a video of Vanessa Hudgens in shorts. I could hate on her, but I feel like she does enough of that to herself, I mean at least based on the whole dating a gay dude, hoping he’ll straighten out for her, because it’s in a Disney contract and she is in desperate needs of getting her pussy fucked, to the point where these shorts started out as pants eariler in the day, but her sexual frustration lead her to trying to sex them up by making them hug her pussy while giving her easier access to slide a finger or inanimate objects in herself while she goes about her daily errands.

Posted in:Shorts|Vanessa Hudgens

2009

28

May

Some Lindsay Lohan in Leggings of the Day

I like to think that Lindsay Lohan is a really good friend of mine. Sure I’ve never met her, I’ve never really spoke to her, my only relationship with her is when I left some creepy messages on a voicemail that someone claimed was hers, but she is the person who comes to me in my dreams, wearing nothing but a sheer top, like some kind of guardian angel who will one day carry me away to a better place and I guess it could all stem from my imagination, maybe from the hard drug use, but I really think it’s something bigger, it gives me hope…a hope that one day lost lovers can be reunited a few months after a public break-up, as she constantly runs back to Samantha Ronson’s house, not that I ever think she was dating her, I mean how could she commit to someone while constantly coming to me in my motherfuckin dreams.

Sidenote, I am dying on the inside today

And with a costume change….

Posted in:Leggings|Lindsay Lohan

2009

28

May

Help Me by Voting for Kayden Kross of the Day

I need your help. Kayden Kross is my future pornstar wife and I told her that I would help her win this competition. If she does she has to fly me down to Vegas and officially marry me while we stream the shit.

So she’s 10,000 votes behind. All you have to do is click her fucking name. I know there’s at least 10,000 of you out there willing to help me and by 10,000, I mean 1.

Here’s the Link to Vote for Kayden Kross and her Great Ass
GO

Posted in:Kayden Kross|Vote

2009

28

May

Reese Witherspoon Practices Softball for a Movie Not For Lesbianism of the Day

I wonder if Reese Witherspoon took her role in Legally Blonde as seriously as she is for this softball movie, where she, like other lesbians I know, is training hard.

I don’t really get the appeal of softball. There’s a league that plays near my house and sometimes I walk by them and see if there is any decent pussy or asses, usually there isn’t. One of the teams is a group of bull dykes and the other one I saw was a group of awkward, non-athletic jewish women who I guess are unmarried career girls, who are done with college and trying to find ways to entertain themselves and stay connected with old friends, and the whole thing is pretty fucking boring to watch, so I assume a movie on the shit, starring Academy Award winning Reese Witherspoon is going to fuckin suck.

Here she is practicing.

Posted in:Reese Witherspoon|Softball