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Archive for the Bikini Category

2009

03

Aug

Annalynne McCord is in Her Bikini Again of the Day

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I hate this fucking monkey lookin’ piece of shit and I don’t like how she sports her bikini all the fucking time because she’s desperate for cheap publicity….I am just shocked that garbage like this actually exists, I figure she’d be more the kind of urban legend your friends tell you about at the bar, you know the friend of a friend who aspired to be an actress and managed to trick someone into giving her ugly face work, after not being able to trick anyone in the class to date her, but did trick the football team into fuckin’ her because she was so eager for dick and only gay dudes turn down pussy, and now all she does is play around in a bikini in Hollywood and the paparazzi actually mistake her for someone people care about, and you all get a couple of laughs out of the memories he’s sharing with you about her , knowing that despite how lame she once was and still obviously is, she’s done a better job tricking the world and would probably not have to borrow 20 dollars off her friend to pay for her round of beer….because the loser in all this isn’t her, but us….because we fuckin’ care about her and her decent body that I can only appreciate when her face is covered the fuck up…On a side note, I think we’ve waited long enough to see her vagina.

Posted in:Annalynne McCord|Bikini

2009

03

Aug

Ivana Trump’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

7 Comments »

There comes an age when you decide that it’s time to retire the bikini and put on a fuckin’ loose fitting one piece, because revealing your whethered senior body is offensive at the aquarobics class at the fucking YMCA. I guess Ivana’s just a little delusional, because she’s constantly fuckin’ young, 20 something boy toys, who you can assume are not doin’ it because they find her hot, and they aren’t doing it for Ivanka who is too busy converting to be jew for her future really rich husband, but they are doing it because they are getting fucking paid enough to close their eyes and pretend they actually feel something tightness in her loose, dry, weathered vagina or pretend they aren’t kneading a doughy bread, everytime they grab her tits, or feel like they are playing on a bouncy castle, or drowning in a sea of slop while fucking her missionary, because otherwise, there’d be no way any human could stay hard while up in this.

Here’s her bikini…a offensive to some…heaven to those on her payroll…

Posted in:Bikini|Ivana Trump

2009

03

Aug

Jessica Alba Inspires New Mothers With This Body of the Day

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It’s taken a while, but it looks like Jessica Alba’s gone and got her body back. I guess we can all stop hating on Cash Warren and calling him a muderer for killin’ her body and we can go back to sympathizing with him knowing that this bitch trapped the motherfucker for life, but at least she’s lookin good now while doin’ it.

Let’s just hope for everyone’s sake, the next time she lets a dude cum inside her that she has the decency to herself and the rest of us to get fuckin’ Plan B morning after pill, or better yet a fuckin’ abortion, because abortions are like porn to me, they are also a total relief and if I could, I’d devote my life to abortion, but unfortunately it takes years of schooling to be an abortionist, that you can work your way around if you want to get arrested. I’ve looked into it.

Here’s her body in her bikini for her big reveal you’ve all already masturbated to..

Posted in:Bikini|Body|Jessica Alba

2009

03

Aug

Jennifer Love Hewitt and Her Dumpy Bikini Body of the Day

4 Comments »

Jennifer Love proves my theory that the big titty girl from high school always grows up to be the fat assed girl at the office Christmas party ten years later….so she’s not the high school sweetheart you want to knock up or marry because that’ll just speed up the fuckin’ process, and I have no idea how all this happened to Jennifer Love, I can only blame depression or self-sabotaging because anyone who wants to a success in Hollywood has a responsibility to not get fat, no matter how tired they are of starving themselves, they have can’t let girls everywhere think it’s okay to let themselves go.

On the positive side of things, she’s lookin’ better than she did this time last year, and I like to think that has something to do with her new boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy, a man who once fucked a friend of mine.

He is subtley trying to trick her into burning some calories, like a good boyfriend who wants his bitch skinny, but still wants to get laid during the time it takes her to get there, he staged an innocent game of basketball, followed by a walk, swim, bike ride, sit ups and dinner at his favorite salad spot, which is more effective than my strategy to get my wife to lose weight by calling her worthless and a piece of shit while throwing baked goods at her forcing her to eat as much as possible it hopes she gets sick and never touches the shit again, which has proven to only make things fuckin’ worse…

Pics via FAME

Posted in:Bikini|Dumpy|Jennifer Love Hewitt

2009

03

Aug

Katy Perry and Her Pink Bikini of the Day

6 Comments »

I hate Katy Perry, but clearly not as much as I hate myself. I just spent 40 minutes uploading all these fucking pictures of the twat and I can’t fuckin’ stand her and it just reminds me that I need to find better things to do with my time than punish myself like this day in a day fuckin’ out for no fuckin’ reason.

Seriously, why the fuck do I bother doing this, do people actually give a fuck about this cunt, because I don’t. I don’t even like celebrity bitches, I can’t even spot them if they are standing in front of me. I am so detached from TV, Movies and even doing this shit, because they are totally fucking irrelevant to me.

If it wasn’t for her constant polluting my life as some kind of forced onto me soundtrack to my fuckin’ day every time I leave the fuckin’ house, I probably wouldn’t know who the fuck she was and I probably wouldn’t bother hating her and her dumpy body, but since her record company has raped me, I make an effort remembering the rapist and source of the violation and somewhere along the way, my life becamecropping and posting pictures of this cunt who I don’t find the least bit interesting, inspiring or even attractive.

I am much more into doin the raping, you know to bitches I meet in my everyday life, who look better, who get drunk and who trust the spiked drink I give them enough to get enough roofie in them for me to do a little pussy or tit grab….it is much more rewarding than doing a garbage post about them….

Here is the asshole hiding behind a Donut pillow….because she identifies with fat, useless, greasy pieces of shit that are only good for a couple of minutes before the excitement dies cuz they make you want to die on the fuckin’ inside.

Here are her tits performing (badly and embarrassingly) at some Pool Party…big tits don’t excite me the same way they did when I was 12 but maybe you’re easier to impress than me….cuz I am all about finding the perfect designer pussy….the mother pussy all other pussy aspires to be…I haven’t found it yet….but then again girls aren’t too eager to impress me with pictures of their cunts….so I’m forced to reference the trash vagina I come across in life….which is more like dollar store pussy and not high end fashion house pussy…..

Posted in:Ass|Bikini|Katy Perry

2009

03

Aug

Gretchen Rossi is Bullshit in a Bikini of the Day

7 Comments »

Gretchen Rossi is so fucking useless that she is on TV, but doesn’t even have her own Wikipedia page and over the course of my “career” writing this site with one hand on the keyboard and the other in my ass, I have seen a lot of fuckin’ useless fuckin’ people, all of whom had a wikipedia page.

I guess no one gives a fuck about this whore, so I am forced to ask myself why I am bothering writing this shit about her, and the answer is simple….she has a tight body and is in a bikini and that’s all it really takes to get into my heart. I don’t care if she’s useless or not in her career, cuz I can think of at least 5 things she’s good for…..

Since I’m a bottom feeder and can spot other Bottom Feedin’, I know that she’s probably figured out that all she needs to do is hire a photographer, get into a bikini and hit the beaches of Malibu in hopes all the tabloids run her shit to secure a little fanbase, and maybe one day even get her that Wikipedia page, because these are staged, bullshit and make me want to punch her in the face because I hate lies, just as soon as I’m done fucking her up the ass…..because I like fucking bitches up the ass….Here are the pics…

Posted in:Bikini|Gretchen Rossi|Real Housewives of Orange County

2009

30

Jul

Elisabetta Canalis In Her Bikini From the Winter of the Day

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The paparazzi are excited that they get to dig into their crates and pull out pictures they never thought would be worth anything, but as paparazzi have no choice but to hope and pray that they will, because pictures of semi-famous cunts in bikinis can go either way, you know maybe the girl will just fade into obscurity or maybe she’ll date Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, who probably owns 25% of her, and that’s why he allows this all to go down, and I’m not talking about the 25% of her that is in her bikini bottoms, I’m talking 25% of whatever she makes in Hollywood, it’s gotta be a business arrangement or she’s gotta take it up the ass a lot, because based on her face it just doesn’t make sense…even if he is old dick and his standards have dipped….

So these pictures are of her in Miami, before Clooney, when she was just some slag on the beach the paparazzi shot when they were waiting for real celebs, and her body is fuckin’ alright by me….

Posted in:Bikini|Elisabetta Canalis

2009

30

Jul

Sophie Monk in her Bikini for Some Straight to DVD Springbreak Garbage Movie of the Day

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There was a time when I would only rent movies with girls in bikinis, because porn wasn’t readily available and I was 16, horny and down to jerk off to some seriously softcore shit. That time is long fuckin’ gone, so I am surprised shit like this is still made, even when it’s starring Sophie Monk, an Australian I wanna fuck….but have been warned to stay away from because she’s insane, an insanity proven in the fact that she was engaged to one of the Good Charlotte sisters….and who got cheated on with Paris Hilton…proving either Paris has serious game, or this bitch is low fuckin’ quality….

Either way watch the clip and try to distract yourself from Amy Poehler’s midsection she’s got exposed, because there’s nothing hot about that…unless maybe you’re a lesbian…because lesbians see past the outside shell and love people with a good sense of humor who can make them laugh….

Here’s another clip….

And here’s some screen caps…..

Posted in:Bikini|Sophie Monk

2009

29

Jul

Some Miami Dolphin’s Bikini Calendar of the Day

4 Comments »


The Miami Dolphin cheerleaders are doing some kind of Calendar in their bikinis, and there’s really nothing wrong with that because there is nothing wrong with any girls in their bikinis.

Now, I’m not a big sports person and I’ve never been excited about cheerleaders, I don’t really find them all that hot and even when I watch those televised highschool cheerleading competitions, I don’t get excited. They are too athletic and even though that whole fantasy’s been around forever, I just don’t dig anyone who acts a fool over team sports especially you.

Posted in:Bikini|Calendar|Miami Dolphins

2009

28

Jul

Lisa Rinna in Yesterday’s Bikini Pictures of the Day

4 Comments »

I missed these pictures yesterday because I am not a very thorough worker. I don’t really pay much attention to detail and I get distracted easily, which I like to think is the reason I never graduated high school, I could never hold down a job, and why I drink. So I figured I might as well put them up a day late, because some of you may have missed the science experiment gone wrong, that is Lisa Rinna’s plastic surgeried body, and some of you may want to see that no matter how much money you invest into your shit, it’s still gonna fall apart and get sloppy one day and I know that her shit may look better than most young people you see on the beach today, but that’s just because young people today are useless fucking, rich, slobs who were raised by videogame systems and potato chips, I saw the movie Wall-E, I know how shit’s gonna pan out for us, so here’s a sloppy old doctored ass that is sadly better than your young teenage ass, provided you’re the 18 year old slut I fantasize that I am writing this site for everyday….

I hate these staged bikini stunts to get into the tabloids, but I guess I got no choice but to post them….cuz I am addicted to the process…and by process I mean bikinis even when the cunt in the bikini is acting like an asshole…

Posted in:Bikini|Lisa Rinna