I ended up going to this house party of a guy I know who lives in this loft that is pretty much nicer then any place I have ever hung out in and definitely nicer then any place I will ever live in. Hes a pretty good friend of mine, so doesn’t mind it when we go over to hang out, or when he finds me in the kitchen pretending like I live there, if only for a minute or two, because I will never get to live in a place like that ever.

There was this weird couple there who were getting ready to leave the city for some reason that has sipped my mind, that had the biggest bag of cocaine I have ever seen in life. You know those ugly couples that show up at parties, and at the end of the night, you all talk about it and realize none of you know them and it becomes this big mystery where they came from? This was them.

Anyways, I couldnt really tell you how much coke it was, because when your a cute young girl, you don’t buy drugs, they are just given to you. Therefore you end up a) having no idea the quantities of things like that and b) not knowing how much it costs. Everybody I know complians that coke is a shit drug cause its expensive, but since I don’t pay for it, I can’t really identify with that. I like uppers, not downers, and if you’re giving them to me for free I will take them.

Anyways, this dude was a drug dealer, which didn’t take long for anyone to figure out, since he kept just like talking about his shit all god damned night, regardless if the direction of the conversation brought us around to his current profession or not. It reminded me that I really fucking hate most drug dealers. Some of these assholes will run around talking and gloating about what they do, pulling out wads of hundreds of dollars and flashing their fucking money around, then complain when they get caught. I still did their free coke until around 8am, and met some guy I think I will likely have sex with in the near future, so overall, it was a good night.

Here’s Britney Spears, her ass reminds me of the ass of the girlfriend of the drug dealer.

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted

I dunno if you guys are familiar with this show Dirty Jobs on Discovery. Basicially this dude Mike Rowe has to go and do all the shitty, disgusting jobs that you and I don’t think about while you’re busy being a freelance whatever and I’m sitting here writing this for all 3 of you to read. Anyways, I had this great idea for a special edition they could do, and posted it in their forums HERE though I have a feeling they may remove it rather quickly. I really hope he replies.

Below is the full post I made today:

Dear Mike Rowe and the Dirty Jobs Crew

Let me start by saying I’m a big fan of you and your show and was thinking this morning that I had a great idea for one of your upcoming episodes of Dirty Jobs. As a part of my own job, I get to comment and basically make fun of celebrities all day. It’s really great. It gives meaning to my life and most of the time is pretty funny. I also work at Dairy Queen part-time but I think I’m getting fired. That’s another story.

Anywhoo, my idea is that you could go and be Britney Spear’s assistant for one full week, as I think that is probably the dirtiest job on the planet right now. You get to wake her up out of Vicodin and Valium hangovers and hold her hair while she barfs. You get to change poopy diapers that haven’t been changed in a few hours, pick the head lice out of her hair weave like an orangutan and you may even have to see her naked. I can’t think of a dirtier job then that, can you?

I think it would be a great episode and that it would help your ratings a lot, not that you need it. If you can’t do it, I understand, because I know your producers may not like the idea. I get the feeling they aren’t half as cool as you are and they probably all wear suits to work and eat salads. That’s pretty lame. Nonetheless, send me some full frontal nudes, fully shaven. I think you’re pretty hott.

Hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez
Drunkenstepfather.com
Stepdaughter[at]drunkenstepfather.com

Posted in:Britney Spears|Unsorted