It’s getting to the point where as much as I want to write something funny about her, I’m almost so fucking shocked that she runs around doing what she does, and I just don’t know what to say. You know the whole wanting to look away from a car wreck thing, but can’t etc. I’m sure we’ve all been there and you get it.

I have a friend name Sean who gets laid probably more then anybody I know. The funny thing is that, by general standards, he isn’t the best looking guy in the traditional sense. Still tho, he accepts himself for what he is and wears his ugliness like a well earned medal of honor, and chicks pick up on that, and it a fucked up way, that’s what makes him attractive. And I mean he don’t sleep with fucking pigs either, he gets like girls that average an 8/10 or higher. He’s got charisma that is actually quite humbling to watch, and if I didn’t know him for as long as I have, I’m sure I would have given him a go by now as well. There’s a lot of be said for confidence, and if you ever decide you want to loose your virginity, you should think about that, for real.

Being white trash and so full of yourself to the point that just seriously have no concept in regards to how you are viewed by other people in the world is just some fucking next level shit that I am still very, very far off from understanding. I am definitely way to hungover to wrap my head around it right now. I don’t think Sean in all his wisdom would even understand this, though maybe I should ask him when we go out tonight. He owes for 40$ and it will be a good lead in to warm him up to the part where I’m like “Oh, by the way WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?!?�

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez

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This is Britney Spears no longer pretending to be something she isn’t. She’s finally looking as fast and easy as a drive-thru McDonalds. I want to say something mean because she used to be a big deal, but now that I can relate to her, I kind of want to stick up for her. Besides, if I defend her, maybe she’ll read this, fall in love with me, and I’ll get to put it where K-Fed did, and even though that’s kind fo gross, it would make a great story to tell at the park.

Speaking of being trash, this weekend I went to this BBQ full of rich kids working on their PhDs. Some dude tried making me feel little with his psycho-babble bullshit butI just smiled and nodded like I didn’t have a clue what he was saying. Then when he wasn’t around, I asked his girlfriend if she wanted to do me. She told me that she most certainly does not, and I said that it was probably for the best because I was too drunk to get it up anyway. I told her if she wanted me to go down on her, though, I’d be over at the park, and sauntered off with a couple brewskis for the road.

When she didn’t show-up, I wasn’t too disappointed. After all, I wasn’t all that much into her because she wasn’t Mexican. Which reminds me, not a single Latina has e-mailed me yet. The only thing I get in my inbox are viruses — which is wierd, because I’m used to catching shit from Sugar Nell, not an e-mail. Anyway, if you’re a Latina who needs to get married to stay in the country, you should e-mail me because I’m lonely and love you.

Harley Houston

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Here’s Britney Spears at a hotel in a Beverly Hills, which makes no sense to me whatsoever because as far as I know she has a house in Malibu or Los Angeles or something other really nice place I will probably never get to go, let alone live.

When I was about 8 or so, I knew this kid who always wanted to sleep over. Like, all the time. My house sucked, we never had good snacks, and the only toy I had was a dirty stuffed rabbit I got from from some relative that came over once and never came back, possibly my real father.

Meanwhile, this kid had a pool and a kitchen so filled with food it was like a restaurant, complete with a Nanny who would cook whatever we wanted while we sat and played video games. I asked her one day about it, and she told me that she thought my parents were “cooler”. Only through the eyes of an 8 year old can extreme obiesity and alcoholism be viewed as cool.

I never really understood that, and I don’t understand this thing with Britney Spears now. I’m sure this hotel is nice, but I am also fucking positive that the multi-million dollar house she owns is way fucking nicer.

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