SFW Archives - Page 1015 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

01

Dec

Kendall Jenner Shower Scene for Love Magazine December 1st Advent Calendar Video of the Day

Love Magazine has some cool factor in the “industry”, either a great PR team or a millionaire editor or publisher who congregates with these idiots and who has a relationship with model agents and publicists that get them the relevant talent, whether photo or video people or the “talent” and I use that word very fucking loosely…like Kendall Jenner..

Every december for the last many fucking years, I post their advent calendar, not because they pay me, but because I genuinely think it is good, and really if I didn’t hate on these people I’ll day, I’d totally suck up to them and feed their ego, to leverage them, to make this site more relevant….the problem is my soul doesn’t allow me to play the game like that and for that reason, coupled with laziness, disorganization and limited talent…I remain a critic not a creator…or whatever these Love magazine people are…beyond using Kendall to get hits to their shit…

These people hate being teased, are so sensitive and love being sucked up to, so if you meet a Kendall and want her to promote your shit, don’t call her the daughter of a tranny freak, just overrated and prostituted by her mother….because they’ve figured out how to trick the world…for now..

She’s not even cute…even in the shower…I despise her…

Via Love Magazine

Posted in:Kendall Jenner|Love Magazine|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Emma Watson Nipple for Porter Magazine of the Day

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I couldn’t leave Amy Schumer topless with her fat roles at the top of the site, it goes against everything I believe in, like that girls who get naked in magazines should uphold a certain standard, otherwise wear clothing…because your publicity stunt may work, but it’s desperate and disgusting…you’re just lucky the women in the world are fat and embrace confidence because they all hate themselves and don’t realize you hate yourself also..you just position it differently…

So, why not a wet Emma Watson for Porter magazine, with what looks enough like a nipple for me, even if it is just a polka dot….Harry Potter fans can commit to the nipple, since they’ve been jerking off to her wet since they first saw her, not because they are sex offenders, but because they are nerds and always imagined an 18 year old version of her – so it’s ok…

Here are the pics.

Posted in:Emma Watson|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Amy Schumer for The Pirelli Calendar of the Day

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Live action cabbage patch doll Amy Schumer, who has blocked me on social media, because comedians are sensitive souls who make fun of everyone, including themselves, but don’t like being teased by other people, because it hurts their feelings…

She was a rich Jewish kid, turned comedian everyone loves and I’m not a fan of her, but at the same time I don’t hate her or her success, I don’t know enough about her humor, it just seems like it may be a little low hanging fruit, laugh at the obvious, empower the fat chick…and I guess Pirelli, who have a calendar that has always been for models, at least that’s how they started many many years ago…when they came up with the concept for high fashion nudity for their calendar…but we can assume since there is no need for calendars anymore, just throw anyone in there…that will get attention…because pretty images of pretty people to hang on your wall just isn’t in…but making noise and supporting or empowering fat chicks is..

So here she is, with her face looking like a drawing it’s been so photoshopped and still not cute…with her fat rolls saying “it’s ok to be fat” and I am sure women everywhere are excited as fuck about this…in a “You go star”…way…but she’s just a marketer, marketing to that market the way they need to be marketed to.

She knows she’s disgusting, but even being as disgusting as she is, guys will fuck her…even when she was just a bar tender…she knows she’s only good at jokes to make up for being ugly and this feeling liberated shit may be an act, may be a who gives a fuck, may be a “make fucking money”…but it is working…because what guys want to see doesn’t matter, and really guys can jerk off to anything – they’ll fuck anything…and if it has tits…they think anything is hot…

So do I think a girl should have her fat photoshopped out, no, I like authenticity…but I think her face should be as authentic…no make-up…give it to us how it really is…like how I’d wake up next to her still drunk after she date rapes me because she’s aggressive and I’m desirable…

ALL THIS TO SAY – TERRIFYING..

It turns out that Pirelli has gone in a new direction, no high fashion models naked, no excuse to get high fashion models naked, they clearly want the mom or women to trust their tires…because they went with Patti Smith, Serena Williams, Feminist Child Blooger, Fran Leibowitz the old Lesbian, and some business woman…in what is a powerful woman like the powerful rubber they use – I guess…

We are no longer in a tit objectifying women world…

Posted in:Amy Schumer|Pirelli|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Lucy Hale is Edgy for Paper Magazine of the Day

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Lucy Hale is the back-burnered, pushing 30, Pretty Little Liar…which means she’s still extremely fucking famous, kids fucking love that show making all these girls matter, but in mattering there’s a fear of being typecast, especially when the show is clearly going to be cancelled soon enough…forgotten…

I guess she’s just not as hot as chubby benson and the Canadian…not that I’ve ever seen the show, and could be totally wrong about everything I say about it…

I just know she’s in bondage gear for Paper magazine, because Bondage is in, I haven’t met a girl under 25 who doesn’t want to be choked out while getting fucked up the ass…smacked and bruise…because for some reason that’s feminism and empowering…

Makes for a good time, until they decide you’re a rapist that didn’t respect their safe word..

Posted in:Lucy Hale|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Sandra Kubicka in Lingerie of the Day

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Sandra Kubicka is an instagram model who I’ve never heard about…

I guess I’m not up to speed on Instagram…or maybe…just maybe…all these whores are interchangeable attention seeking, running after the same job, the same rich guy who loves instagram models, and the whole thing is a repetitive as their instagram feed…

It’s like she was featured in GQ online once, and now bitch thinks she fucking matters…

This is all so fucking cheesy, but I guess when girls want to get half naked and make a career out of getting half naked – without lowering themselves to stripper level…but totally using sugar daddy sites because they pay the rent…

I’m tired of it, but I’m even more tired of ecommerce photos for shitty lingerie brands I’ve never heard of…that have these girls in studio and instead of doing something of substance…they do this…garbage…

Posted in:Sandra Kubicka|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Isabelle Fuhrman is Some Hunger Games Actor and the Orphan 18 and in a Thong of the Day

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Isabelle Fuhrman is some 18 turning 19 year old you didn’t jerk off to when she was 17, because she’s not on the Disney Channel and your miserable ass is not forced to sexualize minors not miners….because you’re married and your balls are in a vice grip…that means no jerking off and no porn…because that’s just the kind of spineless man you are..

Well she was born in 1997, which is creepy to those of us who were 27 in 1997…but not really, that shit never bothered me, just gave me more time to learn how to trick girls into getting naked for me…and surprisingly enough..it works, even on 20 year olds who should know better…

She sounds like a bratty rich kid, who grew up in the Valley…her face looks like she’s Ron Perlman…or that kid, you know who I’m talking about in Mask…

She’s in Masters of Sex…she was the Orphan in Orphan…and now she’s in a Thong for a black and white photoshoot – because this is what 18 year olds do…none of this wait for Playboy to pay you 20,000 dollars to do it nonsense..

Posted in:Isabelle Fuhrman|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Bella Hadid in Lingerie for Love Magazine of the Day

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Don’t give Gigi all the glory…here’s latch on sister Bella…

Love Magazine is a bit of a fame whore of a magazine, they basically attach themselves to anything relevant, rather than paving the way and finding things that are going to be relevant, that would require too much work, might as well just come up with a creative enough idea like the Advent Calendar, and get everyone involved because there are only 31 days in December that means only 31 people who they can use…getting all these people excited to participate and get that stamp of approval..

Whether it is Kendall dressed like a shark….

Or Bella in Lingerie looking like a 60s housewife…They’ll do whatever they can with whoever they can to build their own brand…makes sense, and doesn’t offend me, since it is decent enough content and any excuse to get girls in their underwear is good times…

The advent calendar drops tomorrow – be excited…

Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Gigi Hadid for Numero of the Day

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Gigi Hadid has no nipples for Numero…but she does have the evidence that she was on the cover of Numero when people in the future forget who she is after they move from Instagram…onto something new…as they do…

The fact that she exists doesn’t bother me, but the weird deal with the Kendall Jenner where she’s been cast as the pretty friend in their sitcom that is their bullshit life…is just creepy….and the fact that everyone in the world seems to buy into this…at least the media does…is even weirder…when we could all collectively say “who gives a fuck about this bitch”…but instead…we put her on the cover like she matters…

She’s a rich kid scenester groupie from LA…vain and disgusting at her core…who wants to be a model with her dad’s billions instead of doing good…and perpetuating her bullshit life is what’s wrong with America..

Now if she was getting fucked in these pics, I’d get it..but she’s not…so fuck off..

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Jennifer Lopez for J.Lo Brand of the Day

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I guess everything she does is for J.Lo brand…it’s her retirement fund..

I think J.Lo brand still existing as a clothing line is pretty funny, considering it’s been around for a long time and I just assumed the ghetto people who purchased her sleazy, sweatshop made, rags of shit, would be over both J.Lo and her garbage…

But there are cheesy, trashy, disgusting people on a budget…lacking education, possibly from Puerto Rico and into the J.Lo lifestyle and all she’s accomplished, who feel that she’s a trophy on their sleeve when they wear her clothes, or maybe it’s just on sale at Marshalls…

Either way, who cares about J.Lo and her money making schemes that are obvious and horrible, when you can try to understand her 50 year old botox face, photoshopped into a sketch or artist rendering of her, that we’d prefer seeing as a “suspect” in a mass shooting, so that she could be locked up where she belongs..instead of spewing this crap…

Either way, funny…

Posted in:Jennifer Lopez|SFW

2015

30

Nov

Collier Schoor and a Bunch of Models for Dazed of the Day

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I guess Collier Schorr is a photographer….who is important enough to get a feature in some fashion magazine called Dazed, even though the world doesn’t need fashion magazines, we have the internet…and social media…and everyone with an iphone is as good a photographer as professional photographers making the modern day photographer pretty obsolete…not that they’d ever want to admit that…because if they did say that instagram selfies get more likes than actual produced photoshoots…brands would never pay their absurd day rates….to shoot models no one really cares about…except maybe Bella Hadid…she’s got a famous sister…but these other ones….named:

Bella Hadid, Rianne van Rompaey, Greta Varlese, Tamy Glauser, Alice Metza, Kiki Willems, Heather Kemesky, Soekie Gravenhorst, Julia Nobis, Fernanda Ly, Isabella Emmack, Adrienne Juliger, Lorelle Rayner, & Lily Stewart

Just don’t really matter…but I guess in the grand scheme of things…nothing actually does..even when it is packaged properly to be commercially viable…it’s just nonsense to distract us from what is important…interpersonal relationships through penetrative sex..vaginal or anal…or even oral…everything else is just a means to that end….

I guess some of these pics are alright..

Posted in:Collier Schorr|SFW

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