I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

Archive for the SFW Category

2015

09

Nov

Hannah Ferguson for Swimwear of the Day

34

Hannah Ferguson is a Sports Illustrated model, because I guess she has a solid bikini body, fucks the right photographers, or athletes… and does the right sucking….

I usually laugh at the whole Sports Illustrated low level casting, finding typical “basic” average busty and fit girls to wear bikinis for free because the magazine is their biggest selling issue and huge marketing program…

In doing the whole SI issue, they need bikinis, and I guess part of their ad campaigns, they offer force the brands to use their models, because it makes the models more keen on doing the magazine for free…and helps establish them as bikini models…even though the exposure is massive…without SI I’d never hear of Hannah Ferguson or her tits, unless I ate at the diner she was working…and by diner I mean brothel…

Now, I’ve heard you can fuck Hannah Ferguson for 20,000 dollars a night, everyone has a price…I’ve also heard she’s not 23, but closer to 40, but she looks good in these pics, so I won’t make fun of her hard face, hard living, and focus on her hard body that takes work…because it’s all part of her plan to never actually have to work…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

This bikini line is for Tori Praver, who you may remember as the GIGI HADID before GIGI HADID….cast for GUESS? when still 17. Criminal….who is now a bikini designer…and wife to pro surfer Danny Fuller and mom to their kid…

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Hannah Ferguson|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Sophie Simmons Instagram Whore Hustle of the Day

sophie-

sophie

Sophie Simmons is another rich kid who wants to be a social media star..which is a weird fucking goal for someone who is set to inherit half of her dad’s billion dollar fortune…so I guess get those panty pics that used to reserved for selfies with boyfriends but why not put it out there for everyone – because those likes feel so fucking good…because daddy never said “I love you enough”…he was too busy fucking 80000 KISS FANS…

Either way, hard nipples, average body she’s working so hard for you to see, and whatever works in this attention whoring world we live in…right…

So whatever the reason for the fitness kick…and being fat on TV when she was on TV…and not getting famous from it…she can only blame being fat for that because blaming her personality…would be harder to accept…

Posted in:SFW|Sophie Simmons

2015

09

Nov

Jackie Cruz Orange is the New Black in a White Thong of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 2.28.12 PM

Orange you glad to see Jackie Cruz in a thong bikini…

Orange maybe you’re like me and you have no idea who Jackie Cruz is…thanks to writing this badly written pop culture website with no knowledge of really anything that has anything to do with anything….but my own drunken sexual dysfunctions…

Well, she’s on Orange is the New black…where I guess she has lesbian sex…because I think that’s what that show is about…you’ve probably seen her naked, but I’m too lazy to google her

And she gets in thongs in Miami, as Miami people do…which isn’t all that exciting, unless you’re into her and her ethnically ambigous…gender ambiguous…face…and ass…in a thong…for the record…she’s Domincan….and not a Kardashian..

This is my favorite thing about her:

At age 16, Cruz moved out of her mother’s apartment and became homeless.[8] When she was 17, she was the victim of a car accident where she suffered a collapsed lung, as well as a coma and having to undergo brain surgery.[5][11][4][8] Her song “Sweet Sixteen” is based on the incident.[8]

Rough life – beach living..

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS OF AN ETHICALLY AMBIGUOUS WHITE THONG CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jackie Cruz|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Olivia Culpo for Galore of the Day

oc010

Olivia Culpo is some MISS USA, Nick Jonas NUDE MODEL FOR A MAGAZINE , trying to get more and more high profile, and having it work, because the world is pretty fucking basic and the tactics needed to get a career after already fucking a Jonas Brother, is as simple as getting naked..it has worked so fucking well for all these instagram whores…

Well, now she’s sucking a Fanta in a bikini for GALORE …the magazine that throws all the cool parties at all the cool events…who suck up to the celebrities they feature…because celebrities love being sucked up to…and I am not calling Olivia Culpo or any of the other instagram whores they hang with celebrities, they just think they are and get to fuck celebrities, like hookers…but less obvious than sitting on the side of the street with soiled panties from all the broken condoms and broken dreams in broken homes that brought them into that alley….

What was I saying again? I got too into my street hooker analogy…that visual…was less generic than these visuals of this hooker..

Posted in:Olivia Culpo|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Jewel Tit for the 90s of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 1.56.41 PM

Sometimes you just need to remember all your broken hearts in the 90s that you set to a Jewel “Women in Songs” song…as you cried in bed over lost pussy you wanted to fuck but that wouldn’t fuck you…by looking at pics of her tit next to her kid…

Or…her talking about her sexually relationship with her guitar…you know she probably had sex with to make money back when she was “living in the car”….before becoming a multi millionaire…

A video posted by Jewel (@jewel) on

Just to remind yourself that nothing has changed and you’re still a fucking loser…

TO SEE HER MOM TITS AT AN EVENT:
CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jewel|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Pam Anderson is Hep C Free – Now We Can’t Make Fun of Dirty Pussy of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-09 at 11.41.41 AM

I am pretty sad to announce that Pam Anderson is officially cure of Hep C….a disease she got from fucking a lot of dirty rock and roll men..but that she pretends she got from a bad Tattoo…because it’s more wholesome to say their STD / STI was from a public toilet seat and not the fact that their genitals are a public toilet seat…

I am CURED!!! – I just found out #nomorehepc #thankyou #blessing #family #prayer #live I pray anyone living with Hep C can qualify or afford treatment. It will be more available soon. I know treatment is hard to get still..

I guess money can buy everything, even health….even in her old age….

So now, I guess I’ll have to find a new angle on Pam Anderson content, maybe laugh at her stupid clown tits, or the fact that she paved the way for sex tapes as a fellow Canadian and is patient zero, not that Pam Anderson matters or even exists anymore, and I’ve milked her hep harder than she’s ever milked anything…so I guess it was a good run….

Here’s some of her highlights…a little tribute to the hep pussy…with recent pics because I can’t find her old good stuff…and really why waste the time on that….now that she’s cure of Hep…

Posted in:Pamela Anderson|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Bieber Asked to Leave Restaurant Chair Flip and His Opinion of Kylie Jenner of the Day

Here’s what I call “BieberLivesMatter”…because repressed, oppressed, suppressed, like a black man in the deep south in the 50s, unable to enjoy a meal at some expensive restaurant, because the restaurant doesn’t like the crazy fans creating a security issue at their restaurant, because Bieber fans are fucking crazy, but unfortunately not crazy enough to kill him…

So instead of taking the news gracefully, like “oh you’re right I do but not killed off Justin Bieber dealing with his superstardom like an appreciative person…who is reasonable and gets that he sold his soul to the devil, his ass to Usher and that’s why he’s so fucking rich…

Either way, what a brat…I love this video…it’s jokes…

Bieber is also in Billboard and has a quote about Kylie Jenner…that makes no sense, but is still worth reading and thinking “what?”:


Look at her world: She has been living on TV since she was a kid. Every time she’s looking around she sees a camera, and that’s affecting how she’s thinking and how she’s perceiving people and why she has to do certain things … Situations that happen taint your mind, especially in this industry. Especially for girls.”

Here’s Kylie, because posts on Bieber is some faggot shit…

Posted in:Justin Bieber|Kylie Jenner|SFW

2015

09

Nov

Kim Kardashian is Too Lazy to Adjust Her Own Bra of the DAy

WRIST DEEP

Kim Kardashian doesn’t adjust her own bra herself anymore. She’s got someone for that because she’s just that useless. Just a pig, too rich and too lazy to do anything….unable to life a finger for anything, so lazy that she doesn’t even dress herself , probably doesn’t raise her prop / kid herself…and I’d be surprised if she even wipes her ass herself…you know just to feel all that money she whored herself in sex tapes to make…

The last time a man was wrist deep with this Kardashian wasn’t between her huge milk filled, fat, fake tits…but was in her asshole…

So I guess there are signs of her being more dignified….a lady…but not really, she’s disgusting..

Kim Kardashian also showed up to an event in a see through dress, sure she was wearing underwear under the see through dress, but she was still in a fucking see through dress…the beast is 7 months pregnant or some shit…never should a 7 month pregnant person, even if they are a pornstar turned reality star, rapper wife…no matter how fucking trashy, despite all their expensive things they are…

BONUS – Here’s 60% of the BOTOX supply of Los Angeles

BOTOX FULL

Posted in:Kim Kardashian|SFW

2015

06

Nov

January Jones – The Bathtub Series of the Day

Screen Shot 2015-11-06 at 7.45.36 PM

January Jones has a fetish…no, not getting knocked up by rich Hollywood execs who are likely married, that she pretends don’t exist, thanks to getting paid the fuck off and collecting a check…when he just expected her to get an abortion…but why get an abortion when you can get payroll for 18 years…

Her fetish is posting bathtub pics…3 in 3 days…

Weird, but not as weird as her kid will be when he grows up without a father…

I guess it was Botox day…or she was ovulating again…and felt like sharing…and all I can do is wonder what other sin goes on in her tub…other than sex and babies out of wedlock…there’s probably some masturbation using the showerhead…it’s a girl thing…

Everyone is a social media whore…

Posted in:January Jones|SFW

2015

06

Nov

Selena Gomez Tit vs Jennifer Lawrence Tit of the Day

Selena Gomez

These tits have nothing in common, other than that they are probably on Taylor Swift’s team of famous people who she invites into her house because she’s fucking creepy…

But they did both make an appearance last night…and I figured why bother writing some long winded nonsense on either of these overrated, overpaid, child stars who have won…when I can just say…here are some overrated, overpaid, child stars showing their tits…but not the way I generally like their tits…with nipple…especially Jennifer Lawrence, who in all her weird and awkward, knows how to take a hot nude selfie..she gets right into Character…while Selena GOmez only knows how to cry about Bieber and Chemotherapy…while pretending her tit enlargement is steroids from LUPUS…and not natural loveliness like the tits that redeemed Jennifer Lawrence…her tits..

TO SEE SELENA GOMEZ TIT CLICK HERE

J-Law-Side-Tit-3

TO SEE JENNIFER LAWRENCE TIT CLICK HERE

Posted in:Jennifer Lawrence|Selena Gomez|SFW