SFW Archives - Page 1037 of 1171 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2015

03

Nov

Adele Wet for Rolling Stone and It Didn’t Break My Anything but Taylor Swift’s Ego of the DAy

Adele is on the cover of Rolling Stone, because she’s the biggest fucking act in the world, which would be offensive, or disgusting if she wasn’t knocking Taylor Swift off her undeserved throne.

You see Adele, despite not being very hot…sings songs that people actually connect to…with a voice that is more than some vapid cunt talking her lyrics about boys being jerks..or whatever Taylor Swifts low hanging fruit cash grab is…

I don’t know Adele or anything about Adele, I just know she’s not in the media all the time, she’s not doing stage shows featuring anyone and everyone of interest…like she’s running some kind of variety show…latching onto anyone with an audience… I just know fuck Taylor Swift…she’s garbage and must be taken out….

She did an extensive interview HERE that I didn’t read…but I did see this….and based on her body…it’s shocking …

“I’m not, like, skipping to the fucking gym. I don’t enjoy it. I do like doing weights. I don’t like looking in the mirror. Blood vessels burst on my face really easily, so I’m so conscious when I’m lifting weights not to let them burst in my face. And if I don’t tour, you’ll catch me back down at the Chinese!”

I guess it’s just unfortunate that they didn’t do a photoshoot of her balancing a champagne glass on her fake ass implant…or that the shoot wasn’t her and the Jenners having a garden party in lingerie…isn’t that what the people want?

via ROLLING STONE

Posted in:Adele|SFW

2015

03

Nov

Cara Delevingne in the Call of Duty Trailer of the Day

No Comments »

I hate promoting billion dollar companies, like the people who make Call of Duty…by posting their trailer that is more intense than a movie trailer, since video games are bigger than fucking god….

But I do like making fun of overpaid, overrated “It girls”…rocking out with guns…like they are “bad ass”…or some shit…and the whole thing is so fucking dumb, but it has 6,000,000 views…so obviously this is where things are at…

And this is also just encouraging Cara Delevingne, perpetuating the lie that she’s relevant…and making her her own money in the process, so that she doesn’t have to rely on her trust fund…and can buy the best of strap ons to fuck her lesbian lovers with…becuase she’s so current, modern and crucial to pop culture and hipster / mainstream sexuality…cuz there’s nothing more “artistic”…or subtle and exclusive…than doing huge commercials…

Take the motherfucking money while you can…

Posted in:Cara Delevingne|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Monica Bellucci for LUI of the Day

No Comments »

Monica Bellucci is Italy’s pride and joy…in all her busty glory….she’s pretty much the hottest thing they have going for her…and if you don’t believe me, just ask any Italian in his 40s….to them, she’s a fucking goddess..

She’s also a reminder of early internet porn, where I would jerk off to celebrity tits, when celebrities were still celebrities and not fame whoring, attention seeking, social media content producing, losers who get overpaid for their low level of talent.

I guess Monica Bellucci did some nude scenes, and had these massive tits, in an era you could still jerk off to great big tits..

I guess she’s in the new James Bond, as the older bond babe, for that international market or some shit, so she did LUI magazine, the french Men’s magazine…with nudity, where she barely showed off her nipples, and is barely nude, or even suggestive, but where she still has big tits…is still hot and that you could probably jerk off to…especially if you’re an Italian barber…and you still have her 1990s glamour shots at your work station….hometown pride…far better than your wife looks..

Posted in:Monica Bellucci|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Alyssa Milano Breastfeeding in Costume of the Day

No Comments »

Alyssa Milano doesn’t like me very much. I mean not that she gives a fuck about me, but she has blocked me on all her social media after telling me that I’m pretty much the fucking worst…for mocking her hairy arms…along with every other site…because she has hairy arms…something she shouldn’t have given into and got lasered off…because the second she did, the cyberbully trolls won…and I am sure her husband thanks us for that, you know super stoked to be with his childhood Who’s the Boss crush, but that body hair is just vile…if anything, maybe he hired me to do the bullying…

I think she should have been stronger, she should have championed the cause, but instead, she’s championed the right to post breast feeding pics on social media, because Free the Nipple, it’s absurd it’s considered a tit when a baby is attached to it…even though the majority of a tit’s life…it’s a sex object…for both man and woman..

But as long as she keeps posting the pics…to prove a point…we’re all winners…if you consider seeing Alyssa Milano breast feeding a win…I think it’s more confusing since she’s in her 40s…

I guess what I am saying is that breast feeding isn’t illegal, what’s this misguided bitch’s problem…she should go back to fighting the right for hairy bitches…

Posted in:Alyssa Milano|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Selena Gomez and her Pink Dress of the Day

No Comments »

People are loving this Selena Gomez Pink Dress…I guess it’s a story of a survivor, who after her chemotherapy, has managed to live life exactly as she did before her chemotherapy because chemotherapy is just an good marketing hook to help her promote her album and a technicality because the dose is so minimal for lupus, bitch can do everything as if she’s not on Chemotherpay…but it sounds so dramatic..that way when she busts out her tits in a dress…people will look at her with more sympathy as they jerk off because what else is this little chipmunk good for…not her music…or the fact she fucked Bieber….that’s for damn sure…..

Posted in:Selena Gomez|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Jessica Simpson’s Rock Hard Legs of the Day

No Comments »

Here’s Jessica Simpson and her husband / baby daddy doing a little Christie Brinkley with Chevy Chase….

Jessica Simpson, has some strong fucking legs…that make sense since she was 400 pounds due to the wrong kind of eating disorder…and had to carry herself….around…too and from the Texan BBQ shop…and I’d say the bank where the millions of weight watchers money was…that almost became a lawsuit that her management decided to use as motivation for her to get in shape because a fat Jessica is a lot less marketable when they need her to perfrom to promote her garbage low grade fashion brand she does a billion in sales with a year…money she probably doesn’t really see, she’s like Britney, just a half retard puppet collecting checks…

Posted in:Jessica Simpson|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Olivia Wilde’s Ass On TV of the Day

No Comments »

Olivia Wilde is some cunt who changed her name from Cockburn, even though Cockburn is a more marketable name, especially from someone who fucked her way to the top…of whoever this guy is…where you can all see her average at best, overrated always, ass from a show I assume she’s on…

She’s just another illegal stealing American jobs who should be deported, but who managed to scam her way in…and who the fuck knows why…I guess she’s a connected rich kid from the UK…who can buy her way into the right circles by leveraging her last name…before changing it because that’s the kind of disrespectful entitled cunt she is…

Posted in:Olivia Wilde|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Martha Hunt for Guy Aroch of the Day

No Comments »

I posted these pictures of MARTHA HUNT FOR A MAGAZINE …and a few more dropped…so I figured, I could be doing anything in the fucking world right now…from masturbating to random girls I sext…to eating donuts and I fucking love donuts…to going on a great hike or working out with a personal trainer to get fit…or talking to a therapist about quitting drinking…so that I can live forever…or trying to escape my wife and moving to somewhere tropical with money I steal from her…or most importantly, I could be drunk…

BUT instead….I am posting more pics of a Martha Hunt photoshoot, like she matters, like she deserves my attention…when i don’t even think she deserves to get paid as much as she does as a model.

Sure, she’s hot…Sure, she’s tall and thin, but all these idiots are the fucking same and none of this matters in any of our lives, our happiness, it’s not like she’ll let us suck on her tits…so there’s no point in even looking at this…but here I am posting it anyway…garbage…

Maybe these are the same pics I’ve already posted…

Posted in:Martha Hunt|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra and Gig Hadid Their New Star of the Day

No Comments »

I hate buying into the Victoria’s Secret propaganda, but the evil corporation is so hilarious to me. The fact that they exist, the fact that people buy into their product made in sweatshops overseas, the fact that people buy into the models they cast and the celebrity they build around them….and even their fantasy bra they feature in their show…

They are just mall brand, consumerism, that give little girls like GIGI HADID the dream of walking the runaway on TV…like it matters…because she’s been made to believe that’s the top of the charts for a model…

So this little rich kid, who has everything got the one thing she always wanted…to walk the runway show…in part of their holiday campaign, where they make the majority of their sales…after the above video…where she squeals like a pig…you may like it..

I am more into what this bitch thinks is important in life, really, walking a shitty televised fashion show…to sell middle of the road mall brand product…what the fuck..

Couldn’t keep back my tears!!!! Anyone that grew up with me knows that getting this show has been a dream of mine forever! THANK YOU @victoriassecret & @ed_razek! One of the happiest moments of my life.

I can’t believe people are this fucking garbage…or that people live in such an insular little world where this kind of shit matters….did I mention she squeals when excited?

Don’t tell GIGI but the VS people were trying to find a way to get the young market to watch, and she’s instagram and tumblr famous, or an “it girl”…so they are just leveraging that..maximize on dumb rich girl’s childhood dream who used to work for the other mall brand Guess…to sell product and stay relevant…dumb…

Garbage.

Posted in:Gigi Hadid|SFW

2015

02

Nov

Agent Provocateur Launches Swim of the Day

No Comments »

Malcolm Mclaren, the Sex Pistol’s manager who posted bail for Sid Vicous before his mother injected him with a lethal dose of heroin…..had a kid with Vivianne Westwood, a fashion designer who basically dressed the punk rock band in the 70s, because Punk is so Punk that they care about designer clothing and making millions…you know the least punk thing possible…

They had a kid…and that kid who was clever enough to say “Hey, these brands of lingerie aren’t authentic to the history of hosiery…they aren’t as sexy or amazing as lingerie was in the 1920s…how can we be 80 years older but our under garments are just throwaway walmart quality shit…when lingerie should be sexy…I know, I’ll use mommy’s money and make a brand of very expensive lingerie that instagram models everywhere will make their sugar daddy’s buy for them…because people love expensive things…”..

Well, Agent Provocateur has branched out into swimsuits…now that they are the biggest and baddest brand in panties…why not take on swim..

Here’s their lookbook…get ready for these to pollute your instagram feed…