SFW Archives - Page 18 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2020

27

Feb

Kate Upton Got Them Tits On of the Day

Kate Upton, who is now a mom, brought out her tits in a bikini. She did it with her arms pressing into the tits to give them some perk. Some old slutty tactics to give tits pop. “Oh let me just hold this drink in a way that squeezes my massive fat tits together for the photo”. Tactics she has to take because otherwise people could lose sight of the focal point and instead notice that she’s not hot.

I’ve been a Kate Upton hater since the day she happened. I wasn’t against the big tits, just the hype that was around her. People everywhere praised her for being this hot young thing, and I was like “do they not realize she’s a fat chick, boxy, with a shitty midsection, shitty legs, a shitty ass, and this is her at her best…she’s just going to get more and more disgusting as time goes on”….and I was right…she was plus sized they squeezed under the radar like Upton squeezed into size large bikinis, and every dude…blinded by tits…praised her…called me a faggot for calling her fat…it was a dark time for me….

I realize, what Upton realizes and that is that you can buy a career when you are rich from your Grandad inventing Whirlpool, but also that tits get hits and America loves tits, so if you can be the set of big tits America loves…you’re good to go.

I’m not saying that Upton is the UGLIEST OUT THERE. I am not saying her tits are bad or that the bikini pics aren’t welcomed for old times, I’m just saying that even at her best…she wasn’t that great…you’re just a bunch of bros who are like “oh yeah…tits”.

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Posted in:Kate Upton|SFW

2020

26

Feb

Britney Spears Hard Nipples Broken Foot of the Day

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Britney Spears may have hard nipples on her mom tits in this red t-shirt, but this may be the moment when we have to accept that Britney Spears is 40 years old.

I mean I almost appreciate what is going on here, because the roles in her neck that stem from her age, but also from being worked hard the last 20 years as a prisoner or slave for the family…she’s been on all kinds of meds, she’s done all kinds of drugs. She’s basically lived a rough fucking life…despite it being behind the pearly gates of her mansions while she sat on a pile of money she wasn’t allowed to spend because that was dipping into Daddy’s profits….so conservatorship was the answer….they’ve kept running a LONG time. Solid scam, I mean his sperm made her…he should have a right to get an ROI.

ANYWAY, I apprecaite this neck, this old lady neck, in a time when every girl over 19 is jacked the fuck up like a Kardashian with fillers and other bullshit….making them basically look like fucking clowns. Instead she chose the SHAR-PEI look. Interesting.

I’m all for REAL aging, even if it’s not as hot, and doesn’t get the same praise J.Lo gets when she’s at the superbowl.

That’s not to say Britney doesn’t get the injections, it’s just to say it sure as hell doesn’t look like she does….

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Posted in:Britney Spears|SFW

2020

26

Feb

Ariel Winter Nipple Piercing of the Day

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You may be able to see Ariel Winter’s nipple ring if you look at this troll long enough, just don’t make eye contact, she may rape your soul….

The big tits that cut off her tits when she was still growing her tits is now out of work.

Luckily she’s got millions of dollars from scoring a hit TV sitcom job, the dream of actors pre-social media. It’s that old guard of Hollywood’s answer to being set for fucking life. You know a consistent paycheck of millions of dollars a year for as long as the show lasts…even if you’re the least compelling of the show…being on the show, keeps you there.

So set for life, retired at 21 or whatever age she is, because I can’t imagine girl getting more work, at least not looking like the troll that she is…..

Just don’t make eye contact with her…that’s how she traps you and lures you into her lair…a lair you’d all want in because you’re desperate and believe what you are sold and you’ve been told these big tits, that have been cut off once tits, but grew back tits, are the tits.

She’s just not very cute, but tits are tits, and she’s less fat, so I support that.

Here is her new hair inspired by Bella Thorne

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2020

25

Feb

Bella Hadid Nude of the Day

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Bella Hadid and her clown looking cartoon face created by face injections in an attempt to turn an ugly bitch hot, which pulled one over on all the marketing people at brands or at least in fashion, to use the bitch in their campaigns and let her walk their runway because she has instagram hype and thus that can be applied to their sales…since everything is on social media….chasing the clicks.

The only decent thing about her, besides being skinny, a needed thing for her model career that her mom injected into her brain, because model moms never want fat kids, and I guess her arab tits, but even that is discounted by how garbage she is and how evil everything she represents is. They bought this career and she’s just a rich kid playing make-belief in this simulation that is apparently reality, but I’m not convinced.

As she sits in some spa doing slutty sex worker level selfies for attention, I will stare at her tits, but I’ll do it annoyed, because I know she’s shit, and has nothing to offer the world…but above all that…I know she’s a fucking ugly ….but thanks to The Weeknd, you can always imagine a big black cock in her, which may make her hot to some of you cucks out there.

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Posted in:Bella Hadid|SFW

2020

25

Feb

Kaley Cuoco Hard Nipples of the Day

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Kaley Cuoco’s got her hard nips on her bolt ons out without a bra on because that’s the whole point of fake tits….never needing a bra…many girls justify their titty purchases based on all the savings they’ll get from not needing to buy bras…not that Kaley Cuoco needs to save money on Bras, she probably has all kinds of bras and other lingerie to keep things hot now that she barely works…since her nerd show is over…

Anyway she has hard nips, which I always find funny to see the nerds into this kind of content get excited over, I mean when I was in high school, we had a Jennifer Aniston with big tits and hard nips, making every gym class fun…but we were virgins…who eventually got laid and realized that hard nips aren’t that big of a deal..tits do that.

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Posted in:Kaley Cuoco|SFW

2020

25

Feb

Bella Thorne Braless of the Day

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There has been much debate around these parts between myself and myself, my one true friend who doesn’t even like me, and the only person who talks to me, about whether Bella Thorne’s tits are real or if they are just Disney Money Tits she bought during her broken, sexually abused, sold by her mom to the industry she bolted on during her rebrand into becoming a compelling social media personality to the fans…and by much debate I’ve written in Bella Thorne posts I am forced to post because this is the prison I have created for myself….about her tits…assuming they were fake…but here they are looking pointy…did she get some Madonna cone titties strapped to her chest, is this the new generation of fake tits, or are these real….who fucking cares is the general conclusion I come up with…because who the fuck cares….

All these Bella Thorne Hype is just contrived marketing bullshit to make her more money, get her more work, get her more fame, and followers who buy the garbage she’s selling…fake tits or not…she’s still annoying.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

2020

25

Feb

Lindsay Vonn Bikini of the Day

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Lindsay Vonn brought her thickness that the black dudes seem to really like. The cliche of living that “Black on Blondes” porno series life….only the athlete version who has been doing leg exercises since she was a little kid…preparing her for the life of BBC ahead. Sturdy as fuck…

I mean I’ve seen this bitch fall on the slopes, I’m Canadian, we watch skiing, and I’ve seen her take hard fucking hits at high speeds…now she does the sexual equivalent of that. High Pain Threshold.

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Posted in:Lindsay Vonn|SFW

2020

24

Feb

Rita Ora Getting Wet of the Day

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I think Rita Ora is hot. I like that she’s officially “famous” despite having done nothing really beyond getting a record deal 10 years ago….and cruising around the world with industry people, at industry events, like she matters…all without making hit songs….girl is a victim or product of the system man…getting that million dollar deal on spec but never used by the people who bought her in some modern day slave trade…only in her slave trade she’s just a famous person with all the rewards of being famous…brand work, sponsorships, all expense paid trips, hosting gigs….everything except a HIT….because you don’t need to have a hit…you just need to have people think you may or may not have a hit…because followers is more marketable and more lucrative than selling records through a corrupt record industry.

BUT that could just be her tits talking….I am sold on Rita Ora because of the tits.

Here she is showing off her abs…

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Posted in:Rita Ora|SFW

2020

24

Feb

Kate Beckinsale Bikini of the Day

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Looks like Kate Beckinsale’s on the Elizabeth Hurley bikini plan. Never too old to turn to your fan base of loser dudes who like Vampire Movies from the late 90s, to give you that validation that keeps you from gorging on cake, quitting the fitness and the cocaine, or whatever other hormones she’s on, like a 40+ mom on reddit ready to reveal her fake tits, to get some positive feedback so that her husband can see her as a hot piece again…before connecting with reddit dudes he shares dick pics with…before going full cuck….before going full homo….it all starts with a 50 year old mom wife trying to feel hot….Kate Beckinsale is just the hollywood version of that.

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Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2020

24

Feb

Kara Del Toro Naked of the Day

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Kara Del Toro is pretty much just an influencer, what she influences is up for debate, but I think it’s probably mainly rich dudes who like fucking girls from instagram with a lot of followers, rather than actual moms, or women into style or health and wellness tips and products…because trolling instagram into presenting you like you are relevant can be both lucrative and exciting…lots of travel, lots of adventure, lots of nude shoots, lots of pretending you’re interesting, or like you have something to say….when you probably don’t….but you’re in a bikini so who gives a fuck and now dead magazines that have crawled out of history to make a comeback are doing centerfold shoots with you like you’re a celeb and not a hometown hottie…dreams do come true…

Her influencer captions include:

“So happy to be back in California ?? corn chip anyone?”

“die-dye + Fanta makes me happy”

“She’s candid. Also is 5 photos too much?”

That is the shit she brings you to caption her nude shoots….this is what makes her a brand friendly “influencer”….while the bikini pics make her a prime candidate for Sugar Baby….no wonder everyone is dumb fuck dot com.

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