SFW Archives - Page 253 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2019

25

Jan

Nicole Scherzinger Bolt on Tits of the Day

I followed a tranny pornstar on twitter who had her balls removed, but kept her dick, which was a weird thing to do…but even with the dick, she was more feminine than Nicole Scherzinger….who has the tits, but the really hard face to make those tits seem less natural and feminine on her fit stripper dancing body….and more an accessory to help push the storyline along…

Pussycat Doll…sure….also part of her marketing so that we think of her as having a pussy….you know some Russian programming strategies…push the word so we associate her with it…I get what they did there….it’s probably because her being a man, playing a woman, means no period to get moody from when touring their dance show that made lots of money….cuz men are better women than women.

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Posted in:Nicole Sherzinger|SFW

2019

24

Jan

Shay Mitchell Ass in a Kayak of the Day

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I don’t know if you saw the story about the Two Canadians who portaged a canoe each to the basecamp of Everest last week….well if you didn’t, two Canadians portaged a canoe to the Everest Basecamp….they did it for some Charity, good people…but the point of my story is the importance of the canoe to the people of Canada…like the beaver and the igloo and the Maple Syrup trade…the canoe is the foundation of our existence..and everyone, even twats like Shay Mitchell who are out there trying to get attention on their Instagram feed because they can easily monetize it….feel the need to pay tribute to her Canada, even though she left Canada for the glitz and glam of Hollywood…stealing your jobs and being too cool for Canada…it’s like when the successful dude goes back to his small town at Christmas and judges the locals he grew up with dude to his superiority thanks to driving a Land Rover…you know the type….but Canada…or the PADDLES that make Canada Great Again….CAGA if you will….are ingrained in her DNA…even if she’s an immigrant…

Point being… ASS SHOT!

Posted in:SFW|Shay Mitchell

2019

23

Jan

Katharine McPhee Bikini of the Day

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When you are rich as fuck, a leader in your industry like David Foster…the 69 year old who I assume is a billionaire, he was married to that whore Yolanda Hadid, who only dates billionaires…..this is what you get to FUCK.

An american idol starlet, who has gone on to do wonderful things, like chop off her labia…if you remember the fappening and all those nude leaks…you will know some of her pics were clearly to show her doctor her pussy healing and it was scary….

Well here she is now, Literally Katharine McPhee….the geriatric fucking, old folk home working….terrifying fetish that I assume smells like Werthers Original and pipe….in what is not Daddy issues..but Grand Pappy issues…..Anna Nicole Smith her mentor…I mean…all of our mentor…I miss that Blonde Bombshell….so we’re settling with this.

Remember – when rich…and an icon…you can fuck younger chicks who admire your money…better than hiring a fat gay Filipino nurse with that retirement money…

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Posted in:Katharine McPhee|SFW

2019

23

Jan

Willa Holland Hard Nipples of the Day

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Willa Holland is hot, she may not matter in terms of her celebrity. I know she was on the OC and on some other Nerd Shit, so maybe she’s more famous that I think. I also know that her stepfather is the legendary film director Brian de Palma, because her mom knows what’s up. Her godfather or is Spielberg or some shit so she’s dialed in, but the most interesting thing about her is that she is dating a hipster photographr who takes pics of nude instagram girls…which I guess has rubbed off on her and helped her develop her own aesthetic that’s pretty fucking great…no bra, just nipples…good.

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Posted in:SFW|Willa Holland

2019

23

Jan

Sailor Brinkley Surf Bikini of the Day

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The key to shameless instagram pics is to find a prop or excuse to be in a bikini….

Some girls do this because they own a bikini line – that isn’t a real bikini line – but they pretend it is….

Other girls do it because they are surfers…in a “What else would I be wearing”…

Both a great reasons for a girl to be in a bikini, but in this era of not giving a fuck, feminism, not explaining yourself…you don’t need a reason to be in a bikini other than that it gets more traffic.

You can hike in a bikini, try not to die…you can bike in a bikini…..you can dyke in a bikini…anything bikini gets hits..and hits is what we care about. It is the currency for people, often times rich kids, like this one…who don’t care about money, just about the fans to feel relevant…

She is her mother’s daughter, an uglier version of Christie….but that’s only because Christie’s DNA got altered with the rich guy she bred with…as it often happens because rich guys aren’t models!!

Either way….Bikinis!!

TO SEE THE REST OF THE PICS CLICK HERE

Posted in:Sailor Brinkley|SFW

2019

23

Jan

Rumer Willis Workout Erotica of the Day

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Rumer Willis has finally found her angle…

The potato headed sad rich brat – who was mocked by the blogs when it was OK to mock people for their looks…got some face injections – started her workouts…does her squats and overpowered an ugly face..

Sure it may be BRUCE willis trolling us, and sure the pants may be doing something magical with fabric science and I may like all asses in fitness gear doing fitness….

But that doesn’t take away from the fact that RUMER has blossomed into something worth fucking and that’s a good thing to achieve in this era of everyone rockin’ plastic surgery putting importance on bullshit…like turning ugly to hot in a 1990s style teen dramady.

Here she is looking like a mustard covered sausage

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Posted in:Rumer Willis|SFW

2019

22

Jan

Sophie Simmons Titty Bounce of the Day

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Sophie Simmons bouncing her big Gene Simmons tits.

You probably remember jerking off to her when you watched Family Jewels, the KISS reality show that was a thing a decade ago…because KISS are incredible fucking marketers and built a billion dollar industry she will inherit 50 percent of…through marketing and merchandising…and his fans so loyal to him that jerking off to his fat daughter is just what you do as a fan…plus she’s got the tits her Playboy mom, a Canadian, gave her…

That said, since the TV show, Sophie Simmons has been trying to be an influencer. She has tried to post the slutty content. She has done the staged shoots with Instagram photographers, she has done the half nakedness, the exploitation of her tits, she’s even had brand deals…yet she’s still never hit..even though she was already on a hit show…how does that happen? I’ve seen fat chicks no one’s ever heard of without famous dads pull it off….it’s too bad…

But the tits…are a resilient body part and have survived all the disappointment as tits do until they get that cancer…

.

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Posted in:SFW|Sophie Simmons

2019

22

Jan

Karlie Kloss Panty Flash of the Day

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Karlie Kloss is at Coachella 4 months early.

I guess she just can’t wait to see Ariana Grande now that her and Taylor Swift have broken up or their contract expired or Karlie could follow her dreams of marrying a rich Orthodox Jewish real estate family you know so that she could be the sister in Law to Ivanka Trump and Jared….every massively tall model who I never quite understood why she was a Victoria’s Secret model dream….

Here’s her married ass in panties in public like a good Orthodox Jewish woman…except without the whole shaved head and fucking through a hole in your sheet cuz it’s romantic thing.

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Posted in:Karlie Kloss|SFW

2019

22

Jan

Julianne Hough’s Rumspringa Bikini of the Day

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Julianne Houghis out here on her Rumspringa being a bad mormon in her bikini.. where is her bonnet? Where are her Mormon panties which are more like a giant diaper…..that’s the shit I am more into. This good mormon gone bad because her parents sold her to people who molested her as a budding young dancer….with her brother who we can assume was her co-star in said molestation before both became the Dancing with the Stars back-up dancers they were meant to be….throwing their religion down the toilet because they either don’t respect god, or don’t respect organized religion that gets in the way of them being sluts….

Good dancing ass though, dancing girls are always so good at the fuck.

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Posted in:Julianne Hough|SFW

2019

22

Jan

Faith Schroder Bikini of the Day

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Faith Schroder flashing her pussy print all over Instagram like a rich kid from the Hollywood world would or should be doing….

The most amazing thing in all this is that when googling her dad Ricky Schroder from Teen Idol in the 80s fame….it turned out that he is only 48 years old…younger than me…which was more shocking than finding out that the producer of Live with Regis and Kathy Lee – Gelman – (i was on Disability in the 90s) is still the producer of rapist Seacrest and the slut from Soap Operas in her 60s….and hes’ only 58….like what have I been doing with my life to accomplish so little in more time on this earth than these go getters…not that Ricky Schroder has done so much…he retired at 19 and was never heard from again…but I guess his daughters are trying to pick up where he left off and trying to put the family back on the map the right way…in bikini, pussy and ass out….selling bikinis…

The best thing in all this is that the mom is Canadian, the dad is a Mormon and that this one is barely 18….already getting what she’s got.