SFW Archives - Page 337 of 1169 Archive - DrunkenStepFather.com

2018

14

Aug

Frida Aasen Got a Hot Assan Bikini Photoshoot of the Day

Frida Aasen is the new or one of the new girls that Victoria’s Secret is using as one of their promo models and with that means that they are putting her in campaigns with other swim brands trying to get her known and seen off these other people’s marketing budgets, and really, we should thank them for that…

Whether they are exploitative or use sweatshops to sell over priced panties or not, they have been consistent in using hot fit models, no fat chicks allowed fatty go back to the all you can eat buffet or couch where you eat your feelings watching netflix, save the half nakedness for actual babes…..

This Aasen, who I think is from a Nordic Country and is a fucking dream…is pretty perfect.

This is my favorite swim shoot to happen pretty much EVER in the history of the bikini.

It’s shot by Jason Lee Parry, a hipster photographer who invented the instagram look before instagram existed, who has been sued for his craft by Hailey Clauson cuz she claimed he sexualized her when she was underage for an Urban Outfitters campaign, but homie still brings the good, he doesn’t let that negative vibe get him down, give him a mansion, a hot as fuck model and HOMIE pulls through.

I don’t know what I’m trying to get at other than…this one right here…our girl Frida with the terrorist sounding Muslim name…is a legend who hasn’t even started yet.

Posted in:Frida Aasen|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Kate Beckinsale and Kathy Griffin Bikini Contest of the Day

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When you’re old but still want to be click bait that people sexualize and jerk off to, even if you’re hanging off a thread, or a pubic hair as red as the devil’s dick like Kathy Griffen, while vampire Kate Beckinsale still looks good…

The whole world is one massive and horrible episode of AMerica’s Funniest Home Videos. Mindless shit…that is easy to manipulate…

But what I will say is that at least these two F through V listers who really don’t matter no matter how much Kate Beckinsale stays a vampire, or Kathy Griffen whines about Anderson Cooper dick….are not fat….

I hate fat chicks more than old skinny chicks in bikinis, whether they are ugly or hot or not, fat violates all things and is the ultimate worst…so this here…I don’t mind.

Posted in:Kate Beckinsale|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Ariel Winter’s Big Fat Tits of the Day

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I don’t know who Ariel Winter’s photographer is, but he looks like some kind of Russian dude who has a kiosk in the Mall and does weird boudoir photos…but unlike the boudoir photographer with a kiosk in the Mall, the fat girls he gets pics of are on TV…and have faces filled with face injections, rather than 50 year old menopausal women going through “the change” and trying to reclaim some sex appeal for their Husbands….

I saw that episode of Roseanne. I know how it is.

That’s not to say that he’s better off than those mall photographers and their obese women they get in provocative poses…but I assure you that having Ariel Winter’s fat tits in his book can definitely lock in more fat women with a dream….to be on TV…as fat is accepted…they just never cast fat girls to play fat chicks…but rather skinny girls get put in fat suits since it’s too hard to expect a fat person to try to lose weight for a part…while a skinny person will get fat for a part…because fat people are just fucking lazy and so I am I, so I’ll stop typing now.

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Posted in:Ariel Winter|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Alyson Stoner Slutty of the Day

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This picture is weird – but I am confident you can jerk off to it..

I figure your storyline will be that this is her O-Face and by O-Face I mean half asleep, possibly medicated, maybe on some ambien face….that you are either about to take advantage of or that she’s allowing you to take advantage of in a #metoo movement kind of “I’ll close my eyes, pretend it didn’t happen, and hopefully secure this acting job”…because she’s Lauren Stoner and needs all the help she gets…even if that help involves playing dead half naked for weirdos to get off to…cuz ultimately the world is porno…a fetish for everyone to get off to….so get off to it.

Alyson Stoner Tits Slutty Bra And Short Shorts

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Posted in:Alyson Stoner|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Aubrey O’Day Lingerie of the Day

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Aubrey O’Day is a wonderful creature – straight from celebrity Apprentice – who doesn’t complain about the President or his using the N-Word…whatever N-Word that may be…and she doesn’t get mad when he calls a cunt like Omarosa a dog…because she is one…and she doesn’t sell out his son the she fucked – for having a small pecker even though he looks like a muppet and it didn’t get her the win on the show – so she’s gone back to the drawing board after living off her Jersey Shore boyfriend who made a lot of money not evading taxes but rather DJing….and the drawing board is fucking amazing.

I mean sure she’s old news, an old timer, but with the proper use of angles, filters, filers, and fake tits….she’s got it going on….I mean sex that shit up while looking like a sex doll because you can…and that is feminism. That is empowering. That is wonderful.

I am a fan.

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Posted in:Aubrey O'Day|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Caroline Vreeland Golden Shower Titty Shake of the Day

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Caroline Vreeland really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of anything…she has massive tits, but the rest of her body is so weirdly shaped, it’s like some top heavy cartoon character, you know you’ve seen the 300 pound man who carries all his weight about the waist….looking like he’s from some vintage cartoon like the Pink Panther….

she’s like the titty version of that, obviously, I can easily buy into and support some 30 year old whore, who has been trying everything to get famous as a singer for the last 10 years, including the use of her tits, that I’ve posted before, yet people don’t give a fuck about her.

She’s tried to hang with relevant instagrammers who posted and tagged her and her massive tits and she still struggled to go viral and get followers. She was stuck at like 80k followers for 4 fucking years…

She has a relative she pretends was her grandmother who was some Vogue writer or creative director, you know a legit famous person in the fashion industry who had the same last name….to give her some credit in fashion…like I said…she tries every angle. She goes to every event. She hangs with people more popular than her. Yet the only thing she has going for her…are the monster tits, the natural huge tits, that are freakish and exciting to us perverts, but that have amazingly done very little for her.

I mean I can find you dozens of big titty women who used their big tits that aren’t even this big, in less shameless ways to get so much more.

It’s weird to see someone with such big tits sucking so hard at something she puts so much effort into…

I mean I am sure she get paid now, it’s happening for her, but it has happened to so many people with lesser tits who tried so much less, and put less personality and tit into what they do…which makes me wonder what is wrong with her..besides her weird hip to waist ratio you won’t notice cuz LOOK AT THOSE MASSIVE TITS.

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Posted in:Caroline Vreeland|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Christina Applegate Gets Wet of the Day

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Christina Applegate is making some gagging faces – because I guess she saw herself in a bikini – which is why she decided to wear a fucking snow suit to the beach – like some kind of Muslim – but is not quite a Muslim but more a celebrity who relied heavy on being a babe – no longer a babe – which is worse than what typical Americans thing being a Muslim is…something you can’t live with or don’t want to be put on the tabloids half naked and judged as she nears 50….so instead she draws attention to herself more aggressively that just wearing a damn bathing suit…

I do remember her as the hottest thing, I remember Married with Children in all it’s sexist / racist / comedy that was allowed…that was still shocking yet allowed people to laugh about things and see how ridiculous we all are…instead of making everything so fucking serious like they are today. It’s like you can’t say anything to stimulate any thought comedically…everyone’s a fucking autistic person who takes it all literally…what happened to “Just Joking”….to which people collectively laughed…and said LOL that’s great…or that’s bad…I can’t believe you said your thought that you devil you….instead of this internet warzone we live in.

I like to think it is because there is no mental capacity to process shit, the people on the internet these days are everyone, but back in the day it took a certain level of nerd to understand it, so they’d understand sarcasm trough text….but now it’s just HICK ON FUCKING INBRED HICK mud wrestling their way through their keyboards like they were wrestling their lawn furniture….

Point being….Christina Applegate represents a simpler time, her bathing suit options on the other hand are too damn complicated.

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Posted in:Christina Applegate|SFW

2018

14

Aug

Halsey Hard Nipples of the Day

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Halsey is just out there maximizing her story, her experience, the fact that DJs know they are a scam and bring random people they like along for the scam ride they are on, because if there are thousands of idiots into the noise they make, even millions, you might as well cash in on it and get stupid rich with it.

I do remember certain DJs always making big fucking money, the Euro Djs of the 90s the attracted the cheesy fucking club kids, that weren’t anything like the club kids today….which are the mainstream frat kids….doing drugs and dancing like idiots to EDM….

I remember massive raves….with 100 dollar ticket prices…I rememebr when Chemical Brothers, Daft Punk and Prodigy were mainstream with music videos selling out Arenas….so it’s not this NEW thing that happened with Diplo / Avicii / DJ Snake, whoever the fuck else is out there getting paid heavy for bullshit noise….it’s just that everyone is into it, so there are so many DJs now, all getting paid insane amounts of money that woud have gone to actual musicians in the past…but instead go to the videogame / porn generation simplistic sounds their brains can grasp….

So in their scam, comes a bitch like Halsey, also scamming, who sucks their dicks…cuz DJs get BJs as Borat has shown you…and they always have, it’s 89 percent of the reason the DJs became DJs in the first place…to get laid…the getting rich was just bonus.

Anyway, this one was scraped off the club VIP room floor, got to lay down some vocals and is now an annoying celeb who likes to talk about herself, her drugs, her party days…she’s 22 years old, fuck off with the hard life thing, I am not buying it…hard lives happen at 50 when you lose your leg to diabetes from actually having a hard life…not from being a millionaire with HARD nipples for the social media channels cuz tits get hits.

Her new angle is that she’s black and dealing with the plight of the black people…despite being white a fuck…which is annoying to all…except I guess the mainstream who like her…

So here are some of her hard nips…because as shit as a person is, I can always stare at nips

Here she is with her Aunt Jamima / Mamie Hair you’d expect to see on a house slave working the kitched of the plantation…you know in her racist attempt to reclaim her culture and ethnicity….

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Posted in:Halsey|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Kendall Jenner in a Bikini of the Day

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I am going to assume that zero percent of you give a fuck about whether Kendall Jenner is in a bikini or not, because she’s a Jenner and if you’re gonna check out any Jenner in a Bikini, it might as well be Bruce, because at least there’s some substance, or something interesting about him…you know some severe mental disorder that came after a very lucrative career as a track star…a sport people literally don’t give a fuck about yet e was seen as a hero…only to CHOP OFF HIS FUCKING dick and live his life walking around pretending to be a woman….

THAT IS CRAZY…

His daughter, in a bikini, just some rich and entitled, not broken enough for someone who’s dad cut off his dick….is not nearly as interesting. The silver spoon fed reality star turned high fashion clickbait garbage…is boring…uneventful…and has zero to offer…sure she still gets paid…but that doesn’t mean she’s good.

I mean…maybe this is Bruce Jenner…who fucking knows with all their bullshit face injections…

Speaking of Trannies….I was in Starbucks and I couldn’t figure out if the Starbucks employee was male to female tranny, or female to male tranny, so I just stared into her eyes as hard as I could….to see if her 5 foot 1 frame broke down…and if she gave off girl energy or boy trying to be a girl energy….you know to see if she breaks like a woman or like a little twink…I have a right to know what is giving me an erection….

But the answer my friend, is blowing in the wind, just look at her legs, if it’s sparse leg hair, it’s a chick trying to grow it in, where as if it was a dude going female…it’d be shaven always look at the legs…

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Posted in:Kendall Jenner|SFW

2018

13

Aug

Bella Thorne Bikini Dance of the Day

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Bella Thorne is a very important and relevant pop culture icon who is just 20 years old…like a Kardashian, or a Kylie Jenner, but on the other spectrum of annoying…where instead of being rich and knocked up, she’s running her own brand out of her expensive house that Disney Money got her…and now that Social Media money is making her….a brand based on being a weirdo crackhead raver chick who never leaves the house…but that understands the power of the internet…building out brands, manipulating young people to steal their parents credit card to buy shit they don’t need to support her in her quest of weirdness…and as it turns out…they make bikinis, because bikinis are easy to promote…like the puppet master she is…since people like seeing disney kids half naked…especially ones with fat tits…

Annoying or not…she’s in a bikini.

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Posted in:Bella Thorne|SFW

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